Summary:A tribute to Bella and Edward. It is Bella's 19th birthday and she is still upset that she is not a vampire. Edward tries to cheer her up by giving her nineteen reasons why he loves her and why he wants her to stay human. Very cute/ lots of fluff,one-shot
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Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the rightful owner of her characters of the phenomenon Twilight; I simply create a new atmosphere using unique ideas from her imagination. No copyright is needed.
I love you
I knew this year that I was not dreaming.
For one, I could feel Edward's cold hand brush along the side of my cheek, and his toes tickle mine. I felt the pages of my worn out copy of Romeo and Juliet, brush along my arm when he turn the page every minute or so, and the deep breaths he took from in his stomach. It was almost peaceful, lying there with Edward.
"Are you finally going to wake-up and realize it is your birthday?" Edward asked after a couple of minutes of silences. I laid my head on his shoulder and took a deep breath, his eyes staid on my face expecting an answer.
"Technically I wasn't born until eleven so I am still eighteen." Still eighteen, did this mean I could live to be twenty, what about thirty? I didn't want to get old while Edward staid seventeen forever.
"What does that mean?" He asked raising an eyebrow.
"That we don't have a lot of time, I am ready you know?" He looked away then, relaxing his face and almost looking distracted as he stared at my cluttered bookcase.
"Why Bella? Why are you so ready to give up your life? You could have anything you ever wanted; I would still be here, forever." He sounded almost pleading, I didn't want to look at his face and have him try to convince me with his eyes.
"You know I won't live forever." I mumbled.
"I know, and when…well when you are no longer here, I will join you. There is nothing that is more important than you in my world," He smiled my favorite crooked smile and leaned down to kiss me lightly on the cheek. "I love you." He whispered in my ear, and then kissed that too.
"What about when I look like Mrs. Vander? With drool coming out of my mouth and needing help to do the simplest things." I grimaced at the thought of me lying in bed while, what looks like to be my grandson, comes to kiss me good morning.
"You know I will still love you, no matter what you look like." He kissed me again on the cheek.
"You say that now," I hedged. "But just wait, you won't even be able to see the resemblance."
"I bet I could." He whispered.
"Let me go ask Alice then…" I sat up, and tried to get off the canopy bed when Edward grabbed my hand ever so lightly and weaved his figures between mine and his.
"Let's leave it a surprise, shall we?" He smiled my favorite dazzling smile and kissed me on the lips, he was enjoying this all too much.
"Urgh." I mumbled, defeated. He chuckled as he walked toward the bookcase, I watched closely to what he was getting out."You better not have got me something, you know I hate presents."
"What would you like then?" He knew exactly what I wanted, but he would never allow it.
"You know what I want, Edward." I said in a flat tone, trying –in a very hopeless attempt- to be seductive.
"Be reasonable, Bella." He reminded me.
"'I love you' is reason enough." I argued.
"I can think of more reasons why not to change you." He challenged, sitting down next to me on the blue satin bed. He took my hand and kissed it again, smiling, while my heart sped up. "For one, I will miss the way your heart sounds, when I do this." He leaned in closer and pinned me down on to the bed while kissing me. My heart sounded like a hummingbird's wings.
"Cheater." I mumbled, as he lifted himself off me and took my hand again. "That's only one," I reminded him. "I can think of more on why I should be changed."
"Ok then, give me one." He taunted and led a hand out in front of him as if he was taking a bow.
"I get to be with you forever." I said, pretty accomplished.
"Yes, but forever sounds a bit boring." He was joking right?
"Forever sounds perfect!" I disagreed.
"Didn't you, or don't you ever wonder what you will look like if you get older? Haven't you ever wanted to have children? A family?" He held me closer, his sweet scent of his breath overcame my thoughts, and I was lost in a mist of lust.
"I-I have a family." I stuttered, still memorized by the way he dazzled me.
"Children, Bella. I would never give you that." He turned away for one moment, looking at something off in the distance. I tried to meet his gaze, but he looked back at me before I could try. "I couldn't ever." He mumbled, sounding almost sad.
"I don't care, I just want you." I felt my face grow hotter as he lifted himself up and walked over to a wall to look at a picture.
"You are probably the most stubborn person I ever…" He paused for a moment and turned on his heal to look at me. "I'll give you…" He paused again, staring off in the distance.
"What?" I asked.
"Nineteen, nineteen reason why."
"Nineteen what, you are really making me hate my age now." I said, irritated.
"Why I shouldn't change you." He was at my side now, holding my face to meet his eyes. "I already have one, now I need eighteen more." He grabbed my hands and stared deeply into my eyes. "Ah," He mumbled, still staring into my eyes. "I would have to say the color of your eyes. I am really going to miss that, the chocolate color it is absolutely brilliant against your face." I felt blood rush to my face, and for one split second I broke out of the gaze he had on me and looked toward my feet dangling off the side of the bed. "Number three, the way your cheeks blush." He threw a brilliant smile my way.
"Number four?" I questioned waiting for him to come out of ideas.
"Your stubbornness, I never thought I would say that, but I will miss it."
"Don't worry I will make sure to keep that, even when I am a vampire." I really liked the way 'vampire' rolled off my tongue.
"Let's see, what number are we on?"
"Five." I responded still blushing.
"You're clumsy."
I rolled my eyes. "Is that all you can come with?"
"Well when…if you become a vampire," He hesitated. "You will be just as graceful as Alice, or even more." I thought about how Alice would take dancer steps that looked too graceful to be human.
"If?" I questioned, but he ignored me.
"Number six, your fear of blood." He chuckled, as if he had missed some inside joke of his.
"Seven?" I sighed.
"Your warmth, I missed the feeling someone warm." He leaned in, and for a moment I thought he was going to bite me, but my stupid assumption was wrong, of course. He inhaled deeply and I felt his cool breath spin my head. "Yes," he breathed. "I will miss that, yet…" He paused again and studied my face. "What are you thinking?"
"Your breath smells good." My idiotic answer was because he had me under his own personal spell.
He laughed lightly. "Glad your being honest," He mused. "Number eight." He continued, "Your smell is most appealing, appetizing…" He moved a bit closer, and on my own human instinct, I scooted back, away from him. "Don't be afraid." He whispered, and for one moment I was afraid, scared. What a stupid reaction, I tried to tell myself, it is just Edward…
Edward laughed.
He leaned away and again stared at my features.
"What is so funny?" I asked my voice, shaky.
"Your reaction, it is so…human." He chuckled again.
"Well what do you except, I still am." I didn't like the last part of the statement; I had wished by the time that it was the dreaded 13 of September that I would be a vampire.
"I just have never scared you before, it was almost satisfying." I tilted my head, was he serious?
"Imagine how it was for me." I murmured against a pillow to keep myself from running like a scared animal.
"I'm sorry about that, but that was going to be number ten."
"That you try to scare me like you are some kind of monster?"
"Well I am a monster, Bella and-"
"What makes you believe so much that you are a monster?" Why does he keep thinking that? When I look into his topaz eyes I haven't never once scene a monster.
"Because I am, and I still can't believe you want to be one too."
"'So eager for internal damnation'" I quoted.
"Yes, now you get it." He almost praised.
"No, Edward. That is what I am trying to say, you're not a monster and I don't believe –even if you tried- you could never be a monster, ever!" I felt the tears beginning to form.
"Number eleven, you're emotional." He was quiet then, before answering. "I will miss your warm tears, I wonder…" He was always curious, maybe even more than me. He lifted his figure and swiped one small water droplet from my eye, and touched it to his tongue. "Number thirteen, your curiosity towards anything and everything."
"I will still be curious, even when I am a vampire." I emphasized the key word.
He ignored me and continued on with his countdown. "Number fourteen, your un-selfishness, you care about anything and everything, and yet you worry about yourself last."
"You're the same." I repeated.
"My kind are very selfish creatures, if I was un-selfish like you, then I would have stayed away while I had the chance."
"But you don't regret it, because I surly don't." He looked down for a moment, and then over to the corner of the room again.
"Sometimes I do." He admitted. I waited to see if he had anything more to say, still trying to meet his gaze. "I didn't like the two options Alice had given me, but I almost felt I had to choose, and for you it meant death or internal damnation." I was silent and really wanted to feel the pain he was in right now.
"What are you thinking?" I asked, for the first time wanting to know –for once- what was going through his mind.
"I am trying to figure out why you love me, or even enough to give up your life to become…a vampire." He whispered the last part, not liking –unlike me- how it sounded. "Number fifteen, your ability to love mythical creatures." I laughed at that one, and felt more tears form from my eyes. Edward wiped them again –without the experiment of tasting them- and cleared my eyes. "Number sixteen, being able to not let your mind be heard from mind-readers everywhere. This in some ways is a good thing to keep our identity a secret."
"It must be some kind of a message." I used in a light tone, sarcastic.
"The stars are a lined in some weird formation. Odd." He mocked. "Number seventeen, the way you were able to sit next to me in that biology classroom, and not be afraid, or get any kind of adrenaline that signaled that you were near danger. The non-fear you have for me, is not what I will miss, but more have grown use too that it will be hard to overcome if you ever were changed."
"I was a bit scared, but not in the way you wanted –or feared. I was scared that you already had not liked me, I later found out that was the opposite."
"Well then, number eighteen would have to be your tolerance for raining un-extraordinary little towns. How could you have survived?" He mocked again.
"With you." I honestly told him, and a smile lit on both of our faces.
Silent's fell over us again, and all I could hear was the clock chiming in the other room, counting the minutes. He never took his eyes off the bookcase in the corner and he seemed to be in the same thought period as Alice something is, when she is seeing something. After the tenth chime, I broke our silences. "What's in the box?" I pointed toward the little black box lying in the corner of the room, on top of the bookcase, where Edward had left it.
"Would you like to see?" He asked, but he was already across the room, before I could answer. He was back before I could even open my mouth, and had the little black box that would be better used for an engagement ring.
"You're not asking me to marry you again? Are you?" He chuckled and kissed my hair.
"If I did, what would you say?" He asked playfully.
"Give me a moment." I closed my eyes and acted concentrated.
"You're not a very good actor."
"I know," I admitted. "So what is in the box?" I leaned in closer, and watched his face turn little down from his smile.
"Just the nineteenth reason, and…" He smiled, taking a pause that kept my eyes wide. There is still hoped for the one thing I may never receive.
"And…" I tried to finish and he just patted the box.
He leaned in closer, almost touching my ear with his lip. Even though no one was around, he took the same precautions as Alice did when we were on the plane to save Edward. Ever so quietly he whispered in my ear, "Open it," and then he kissed my ear. I open the hatch and lifted the cover open. It made a high pitch squeaking sound as if it hadn't been open for years. I noticed right away that there was a small piece of paper fitted into the tiny space, with brilliant letters written across it. The same letters as when he pick up my truck on that cold rainy day and left a note for me right before he left to go hunting.
Number nineteen: I love you.
I felt as if I was going to cry, bawl my eyes out right here in front of him. Even though he has told me this over and over, it felt that much more real that it was written on paper. I my figure traced the neatly written words and I felt Edward trace my jaw. It was peaceful for that second, before I interrupted the silences. "Thank you." I mumbled and kissed his hand as he kept tracing my jaw.
"It's the same box I used to propose to you with," He whispered. I realized now that I had remembered that night for two reasons, and that was one of them. He lifted the little paper out of its safe enclosure, and showed me something else that was also in the box. "Happy Birthday."
I stared at the little plastic object, not sure what it meant first, but after a moment soon realizing that what I wanted all along, Edward had given me. If someone like Mike had given this to Jessica for her birthday, she might have called him several names and punch him.
I felt selfish that it took me this long to figure out that I truly did not want to be what I thought. I was having second thoughts.
I stared at the plastic vampire teeth and knew what the symbol was for this gesture. He was telling me he would change me, make me…new. (I remember Rosalie using that word when she was telling me her story a while back). I noticed now that Edward had stopped tracing my jaw and was looking at me intensely now.
"What are you thinking?" He asked, stunned by the way my face must look.
"I am thinking that I might be having second thoughts." I answer honestly.
"Oh," He sighed, sounding approved. "Not sure if you really want to become one of us."
"I want to be in your family, just not sure about the…other part." I mumbled the last part, barley mouthing the words. "Maybe I could take a semester in collage, or learn to paint. I never really got a good look at Europe, and I am still young, I still have time to make this decision." I was talking to myself more than to Edward, but his face suddenly lit-up as if he had been waiting to hear this for a long time.
I placed the fake teeth in my mouth and smiled at him, showing off my fangs. He chuckled as he bent down to kiss me, but the stupid teeth got in the way. "Good thing we don't have fangs, otherwise it might be really hard to kiss you." He smiled-my smile.
"Hu-mm." I mumbled something, trying to get out 'Good thing,' but it sounded more like a sneeze.
"Don't worry; we have as much time as you need." I lifted the plastic fangs out of my mouth, and squeezed his hand.
"Forever." I agreed.
I had my own nineteen reasons on why I should be changed. But after hearing Edward's, I am not sure if mine are very convincing now. He loved me enough not to change me, and I loved him enough to give up my life to be a vampire with him. We did have something in common with our nineteen reasons, though; our last one was exactly the same:
I love you, too.
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A/N: This is my first fanfiction story, and I would love some reviews, hint hint. Haha, I would like to thank Fall Down Again Bella, she is a great author and a great person, I am really happy that she helped me with figuring our this whole process, Thanks so much :)
- i wuv Amelia Nelia