Hello all! So here's what happened. I could sleep last night. I've been very bummed and depressed lately and well... Rumpelstiltskin spins his troubles away, I write them away. This was spur of the moment, so it's a bit wordy. Hope you enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I solemnly swear I do not own Once Upon a Time or the characters mentioned.

His Regret

"So, now that we've been honest which each other, let's remember how things used to be," Mr. Gold began once he had his object safely in his grasp. "Don't let these bars fool you. I'm the only one with the power around here," his voice dropped to a dangerous whisper. "I'm going to be out of here in no time, and nothing between us will change."

The Evil Queen leaned as far as the iron cell would let. She donned her signature smirk as she whispered to him venomously, "We shall see." Still smiling, she slowly moved away from her seat on the couch and sauntered out of the room.

Mr. Gold watched her with disgust. It was no secret that Rumpelstiltskin hated Queen Regina with a passion, that same hatred carrying over into this world as pawnbroker and mayor. She ruined everything.

It was because of her that he was miserable. Sure, he had more money than anyone in town, and everyone that heard his (fake) name trembled in fear. As much as that had brought him temporary joy, he wasn't truly happy...

For a time, he was content with his life in the fairy tale world, happy even. He could've lived forever without anything happening between him and Belle. He wasn't interested in true love or getting married. He was just glad to have her around; to have someone to talk to everyday, have supper with, discuss books, or whatever else she wanted to talk about. All he had to do was keep her locked up in the castle and never let her outside.

A deal of his he ended up breaking.

He had made the mistake of asking about her life before he locked her up. She wanted to do so much. Go see the world, meet new people and creatures never heard of, and do oh-so many brave things. Rumpelstiltskin had seen enough of the world to last him many lifetimes (Which he had lived already), and he didn't really understand her enthusiasm for it.

But then she got that look in her eye; the look she always got whenever she read a good book. Whenever she read of knights and princesses and true love, she would sigh at times and wish she could have something like that. Of course, she never did this in front of him. He would watch her sometimes when she thought herself alone in the library. Sometimes he'd clear his throat, making his presence known if he really needed her for something. She would respond by closing her book and greeting him with a smile, ready to accomplish whatever chore he threw at her. She never let on to her loneliness even though he could feel it.

Once he saw the dreamy look on her face, his heart sank. He couldn't keep her forever; he'd already known that when he struck the deal for her. Thanks to his curse, he could live on for centuries while Belle, like every other beauty on Earth, would wither and die. He had given her permission to leave the castle to fetch straw for his spinning. Apprehensive, she asked, "You trust me to come back?"

"No, dearie. I suspect I'll never see you again," he had replied with a knowing grin, masking the sound of his breaking heart.

When she had left, he started spinning his wheel as he usually did when he needed to forget. But even the wheel didn't help. Now when he spun the wheel, he thought of the time when Belle had asked why he spinned so much... Which led him to remember how she would have hurt herself falling from the ladder if it weren't for Rumpelstiltskin catching her. The light shining through the window... The way the light illuminated her in his arms as if he'd caught an angel falling from Heaven-

He gave up on spinning the wheel and ran upstairs to work on his potions. He had concocted as much of the potions in his spellbook as he could given whatever supplies he had. When that didn't help, he tossed the spellbook aside and began expirimenting waht different potions did when mixed together. At one point, he'd caught the drapes on fire, and a green rash broke out on his arm.

"Last time I mix lavender with... whatever was in here," he had spat throwing the moldy jar to the side. He imagined what Belle would say about his incompetence-

Argh! he cursed himself for thinknig about her again. He was about to lose it! He thought about teleporting out of the castle, grabbing her from wherever she was, and locking her in the dungeon again.

Before he could do that, he heard a noise. It was the familiar sounds of humming he'd hear while his caretaker cleaned.

He looked out the window and saw her. He couldn't believe it. Belle, his Belle, had come back. And she had a basket full of straw. But... why? he thought. Before he could figure it out, she was about ten feet from the front door.

Not wanting to seem desperate, he ran down the stairs as fast as he could; almost tripping at one point.

He sat himself down at the wheel and started spinning whatever straw he could find. When she entered the great hall, he casually commented that he was beginning to run out of straw even though he had at least another basket full waiting upstairs. She tried coercing him to admit he was happy to have her back. Of course he was, but Rumpelstiltskin would never admit it.

She then asked him about his son, which he promised to tell her about when she returned. He told her only the half truth. He had lost him and has been alone ever since. No one else knew the whole story except for him, Bae, and that cursed Blue Fairy that talked Bae into leaving him.

Belle showed true concern for him. This was surprising to him for no one else ever showed concern for him; except for Baelfire, but that was hundreds of years ago. He asked, finally, what he had asked himself earlier, "Why did you come back?"

She had said something changed her mind when she was intent on leaving. Before he could ask what it was, she placed a chaste kiss on his lips. His eyes drifted closed as he felt the soft, sweet taste of her skin, committed every little detail to memory in the short-yet sweet kiss. A warmth had started to spread through him. He wasn't sure what it was, but a weight was lifting off of his shoulders. Belle was happy by this. She held the sides of his face and said, "True love's kiss can break any curse."

His eyes widened. He pushed away from Belle, mentally willing what dark powers he might have lost back to him. He had looked at his hands, thankful he was still the same. He asked her who had told her. Once Belle had uttered the word "she", he ran over to the mirror, pulling the curtain down in one swipe. He shouted and cursed at the Evil Queen through the mirror. He knew she was watching them; her and that damn genie!

Belle was concerned for him. Without thinknig, he began to lash out at her, claiming she was in cohorts with Regina all along; she had betrayed him. She claimed it was true love, but he wouldn't hear any of it.

No one could ever love him. Not even Belle. Not even his wonderful, beautiful Belle who had talked about love being layered; a mystery to be uncovered. No one as pure and innocent as her could ever love a foul, heartless beast like him.

He threw her into the dungeon just like he did her first night, locking the door behind her. He went off on a rampage. He had grabbed his old walking stick and began destroying everything in sight. All of his heirlooms he had earned from petty deals were demolished. His glass display case destroyed. He swung and swung until his arms weighed down in exhaustion. He let out an anguish cry, doubling over the destruction he had made. He glanced over at the table. He saw his tea set.

With his rage giving him a new rush of adrenaline, he stomped over to the set. He picked up each tea cup one by one, throwing them across the room, shattering againt the wall in a cloud of dust. He picked up the last teacup, but paused when he saw the chip. The same cup Belle chipped her first night at the castle. The one he made a habit of drinknig out of everyday to show her that it didn't bother him. He wanted to throw it against the wall more than anything in the world. He wanted to prove that he could never love; just as he could never be loved in return.

But he couldn't. Despite the pain that wreaked through his chest, he couldn't destroy it.

He roughly put the tea cup back in it's spot on the tray and walked away, slowly coming back to his senses. He glanced back at the uncovered mirror. He knew the Evil Queen saw the whole thing. She probably sat there snacking on orderves as she laughed at his rampage. She would've seen the cup. Regina now knew his weakness.

Weakness thy name was Belle.

Even though she could never love him, he knew he would risk anything to keep her safe. He couldn't keep her here. He couldn't keep her here and just forget that he loved her. He had to banish her. He needed her to leave for her own sake.

Mr. Gold sat in his cell, looking at his precious teacup. He caressed his thumb over the chip and held it gently. This was the only momento he had of Belle. He still had his vast library buried somewhere in his house, but he had that long before she came into the picture. He had that teaset for a long time too, but this was her cup. The one she worried she'd get a beating for just because she dropped it. The cup was her. She wasn't just another cup in a pretty teaset. She had something more special. Something that made her stand out; just like the missing glass made this cup stand out. She was a flicker of light in a sea of darkness.

Now, she was gone.

Many nights he regretted letting her; just as she said he would. He wanted to keep her safe. He thought sending her home and proving that he didn't love her anymore would keep her safe from the Evil Queen. Never did he think she would be in more danger back in her own village. He father had banished her and tortured her just because she had decided to go with Rumpelstiltskin. She resorted to comitting suicide. He had guessed that death faced her either way.

"If I kept her here," he would tell himself, "I would at least had a chance to protect her."

He blamed Maurice for his lack of sympathy towards his own daughter. He blamed Regina for tearing them apart.

He choked back a sob as he cradled the cup closer to his chest. It was easy to blame others for what had happened.

He knew, though, that he was the one who drove her away, just like Baelfire. Deep down, he knew it was all his fault.

*sniff*

My whole life! Don't worry RumBelle fans, I'm promise part 2 will be a little more... uplifting.

Reviews are appreciated.