Hey guys, this wouldn't be familiar without the use of some filthy author notes so without further ado: this is Eliza here with some dirty motherfucking smut for everyone to enjoy, a rewrite of the previous story which was absolutely awful, I know. I was pleasantly surprised to find that some people enjoyed it, so thanks for that! But you guys deserve better, so here's the absolutely fucked up story you've all been waiting for.
Ellie and Joel, two people who were simply trying to survive in the apocalypse, who found each other and at the same time, found the smallest comfort they could have. Traveling together for as long as they had, they knew the other like the back of their hands, which aided them every time they ran into trouble. This time around, the trouble came in the form of raiders, ambushing the settlement Tommy had worked so hard for and jeopardizing everything they had built up since they made the small town their home. It was an absolute heart-wrenching moment for both Ellie and Joel to have to leave everything behind in order to survive, but they knew it was the best decision, and as long as they were together they would face anything they had to.
After treading miles south, they encountered a city, which was fairly dangerous in itself, but the need for resources was too high to pass the opportunity up. They crept into the dilapidated place as quietly as they could, sparing their bullets for an emergency situation- and fortunately never running into one. They kept talk to a bare minimum, preferring to keep their ears open in any event they get ambushed; but by the time they were deeper in the city- surrounded by tall buildings and the remains of cars- the sky had darkened and they knew they would have to find a place to secure and sleep. Silently they moved under the broken streetlamps lining the streets, Joel relieved when all was quiet and Ellie being slightly disappointed. The young girl couldn't help the feeling that as much as she knew they were lucky, she'd been raring to get her built up anger out.
She thought back to her other frustrations in the moment, sitting stationary behind a battered pickup truck while Joel checked the area out. It had started about a couple months prior, not too long after her sixteenth birthday. Her first genuine curiosity of the other gender had struck, and to her extreme dismay it began with Joel. She had taken to noticing the muscles in his arms when he pulled her up or lifted heavy weights, or the ones in his legs when he crouched down. There had been an awkward encounter that really spurred it on when he had just finished his shower one time (Thank god for Tommy's settlement, hot water!) , coming out of the bathroom looking like a sex god with droplets of water dotting his shoulders and sliding down his chest, which was barren save for the scattered dark hair on it. Not to mention the trail of it that lead under his towel, that also hung low on his hips, which also looked absolutely heavenly. His dampened hair was messy and his salt and pepper beard was dripping, it was a luxury if Ellie ever had one. In fact, she reminisced with a blush how she had quite literally dropped her jaw, checked him out, squeaked when she was met with a confused look, and ran to her bedroom.
She only came to when Joel was just in front of her, shaking her shoulder slightly, making the heat in her cheeks intensify that he had caught her off in her own world. After quickly apologizing, he updated her on their plan, which was to make a camp out of the hotel just a half mile away. She found herself nodding eagerly and they moved towards it, splitting up to find the best entry point. She ended up walking down an alley between the hotel and another brick building, looking up at the many windows and the fire escape, to looking down at the puddles, trash bins and rats. The way in was quite difficult to reach Ellie realized- when she found it- and as she rounded the corner to alert Joel she ended up smacking into him. Before she could even make a noise his hand was over her mouth, and while her first instinct was to stick her tongue out a second more hazy thought entered her mind; one that she immediately banished before the blush on her face could worsen, somehow. She nervously chuckled under her breath, simply pointing up towards the open window she had spotted, and Joel removed his hand. There was a ladder up to a small walkway, a fire escape- that had access to the window.
He nodded silently, making his way towards it while she followed weakly behind. "Ellie, I'm gonna boost you up, okay?" Joel murmured, making the girl nod while he clasped his hands together in front of her for her foot. She hesitated, wondering how many more times she would be able to be in such close proximity to him before she lost her mind, before setting her foot in his hands, her hands on his shoulders, and let him hoist her up. Taking a breath in a vain attempt to dispel the butterflies in her stomach (something she read about in a book, once), she gripped the ladder and pulled down, meeting resistance. While it was getting much darker, much faster, she could hardly find the source of blockage- so she pulled herself up to investigate further. Joel turned around once she was up, crossing his arms while he looked between her and the entryway of the alley. Her fingers grasped her flashlight, and she quickly looked over the workings of the ladder to find it was rusted over. Ellie sat back with a sigh, if she used force it would most likely just break all-together, and it wasn't as though there were very many ways to get a man of his size up there with her.
She could tell he obviously didn't want to wait down there all day, and as comical as she thought it could be to make a joke she kept her mouth shut, not wanting to get yelled at. So she plopped down on her stomach, hooked her feet in the metal rail, and reached her hand down as far as she could. Joel looked at her with an incredulous expression for a moment, before looking back down the alley and deciding to try it. He backed up slightly, running and jumping so that he just grasped her hand, and she immediately gritted her teeth and brought her other hand down to grab at his arm sleeve, pulling up with all of her might. He wasn't impossibly heavy, she found, and she ended up being able to lift him, leaving them both panting messes on the metal platform. Joel looked at her through the exhaustion, smiling slightly. "Good job, kiddo. You're really growin' up, huh?" he hummed, patting her on the head as he got up and held a hand out. She licked her lips, took in a deep breath, sighed heavily to relieve some of the weight on her chest, and grabbed his hand.
Inside the hotel room they climbed into, it was fairly quiet, but they didn't let that fool them as they checked for any potential threats within the area. The hallway was dark and menacing, Ellie decided, closing the broken down door gingerly. She was almost instantly reminded of the last time they had encountered a hotel, when she had thought she lost Joel, the first time she shot a living person. She gritted her teeth at the memory, moving on and readjusting her expression where Joel could not see. Once they had blockaded any possible opening, they got to work on scavenging everything in the room and making a small place to sleep (the bed wasn't usable with its moldy sheets and rotted frame). By the time Ellie was lying down in the makeshift bundle of scrappy blankets Joel was done scrounging around, content with their progress. While he sat at the foot of their, "bed" and took stock of all the supplies; Ellie absentmindedly watched him. Her mind wandered to the first encounter they had, the discontent wildly obvious for the both of them. A small smile formed on her face as she continued lazily shuffling around her thoughts.
Joel looked up momentarily, to check whether she was asleep or not, but found Ellie staring at him. He cocked an eyebrow questioningly, but didn't say anything after her eyes widened and she looked down quickly. He figured she would be content with him, they worked extremely well together, and even though she was so much younger she had a maturity to her that reminded him of Sarah. He had to stop himself from physically shaking his head to dismiss that thought- Ellie was never going to be like his daughter, she wasn't a replacement for Sarah, or for Tess. She was just Ellie. There was no one else to compare that to, her ridiculous humor and creative mind. This time, he smiled. But luckily (for sake of avoiding confrontation, the nosy thing) she was asleep already, and even though he was mildly surprised he understood. They had a very long day, and she especially being younger probably had a heavy weight on her chest from being traumatized- Joel was used to disaster striking. As much as he felt the sting of his heart from losing his brother- the image of Tommy on his knees, hands behind his back; the loud crack whipping through the air, putting a stone in Joel's stomach as a shriek came from a woman- probably Maria- and his brother's limp body fell to the concrete. The intense smell of copper hitting him like a slap in the face, he reminisced how he instinctively held a hand out in front of Ellie, turning his body to shield her from the grotesque scene that seemed to never stop. Maria's desperate cries, the second gunshot, it was over.
Joel closed his eyes, deeply exhaling. His composure had to last, it had to- for Ellie. He slowly cracked his eyes open and looked at her, sighing once more (a useless tactic, trying to remove the weight bearing on him) before he crawled in next to her, putting his arm under his head and looking at her gentle sleeping face. Carefully, he swept some of her hair from her face, barely grazing her temple with his middle finger. It had been two years since they first met, since everything went down. There were plenty of arguments in their small house after they made their home in the far corner of Tommy's settlement, namely about the entire Firefly situation.
"I know what you did, Joel, just give it up. Why? Why did you ruin the only chance of a cure? You're so fucking selfish!" Ellie rounded on him, tears streaming down her face as she scowled. Joel was speechless, which only spurred her anger on. "Fucking, asshole!" She yelled, picking up a plastic decorative vase and throwing it at him as hard as she could. He ducked and it hit the wall, bouncing onto the ground- he immediately started towards her and she held a hand up, shaking her head. "No, don't try and comfort me. I don't need you." Ellie sniffled, letting him wrap his arms around her anyways. He nuzzled his nose and mouth into her hair, "Ellie, I know it was wrong. But I would do it all over again if it meant I didn't have to lose you." he murmured, sobs wracking her small body while he held her up.
He was brought out of his reminiscing when Ellie furrowed her brows in her slumber, letting out a quiet groan. Joel froze, blinking as she wiggled in her sleep. He contemplated waking her up, thinking she was having a nightmare, but little did he know she had been fighting her own battle. It seemed so surreal to him that he ended up being so close to a young girl, at the ripe age of sixteen she had him wrapped around her finger. A small smile graced his features, turning to a slight frown when he thought about how taboo it would have been in a different time. His traveling with her, the attention he gives her- the world Lolita popped into his head before he could stop it. Joel's eyes widened, he felt his hardened heart clench at the strangeness of it all. Swiftly, he turned his back to her, and closed his eyes until sleep took him. Ellie couldn't begin to explain how she felt, the complexity of it all angered her. She was tired of feeling warmth in the pit of her stomach when she looked at Joel, when she thought about him. She knew what it was, she wasn't naive- she had picked up reading material over the years that clued her in to what her feelings meant. She just refused to acknowledge it at first, but it became increasingly difficult the longer they went on. The longer she tried to push it to the back of her mind the more it persisted, coming to light in her heart no matter how hard she ignored it. It was in vain that she swore to herself she wouldn't sacrifice her and Joel's status of friendship and companionship.
It seemed as though there was nothing she could do to hide it any longer, and just as she had planned to come out with her distracting and silly emotions disaster struck the settlement, ripping Tommy and Maria from the world and most importantly, from Joel. Ellie could feel his pain when she looked at him, her jokes weren't funny in an annoying way anymore, they went ignored and she learned to keep quiet in the small amount of time they had been on their own again. She hoped when they found a place to stay whether it be temporary or permanent (Even though nothing was permanent in this world) things would get better, and Joel would let her in again. She hoped for a lot. When she laid down on their makeshift bed in the hotel room she wished he would lay down with her, wished he would hold her close and kiss her temple, wished for some kind of contact. But, she also knew it would make everything all the more difficult, and how could he ever see her that way anyway? She felt her eyes stinging so she closed them, felt a sob in her chest so she sighed quietly, felt her longing slowly destroying what her and Joel had. She felt hopeless wanting him to feel the same, knowing it wouldn't work anyway. It was just a dream she had, Joel was the catalyst to her teenage hormones and it would never be more than that. But she knew she didn't believe that, she still had naive hope in her heart that what she felt wasn't one-sided, even if it changed everything- and it already had.
I apologize that I changed so much from the original story, but I think we can all agree that this is much better. Most of the things I wrote back then didn't make very much sense and it wasn't necessarily immersive so I wanted to completely revamp this for everyone, because every time I go back and see the reviews and then see how awful the story is (no offense to those who enjoyed it, I appreciate the kind words!) I just want to fix it all. So here I am, four years (?) later finally improving this! I hope you guys like it!
I took kind of an angsty edge to it, hope you all don't mind. Feedback is welcome, and I hope it continues to do well! Eliza out~