Five Stages of Love

Hello everyone! Thanks for checking this out. I hesitated quite a bit before eventually deciding to post this: I have four chapters out of five written, but the fifth one simply won't come. I'm kind of hoping that the need to update will help me write...

This was originally written for piginawig on Livejournal for the Kummer Summer exchange :) The prompt was "First 'I love you'".

Enjoy!

1. Denial

Sam could hear Stacy from where he was standing in front of their motel room, the usually quiet girl laughing loudly enough to be heard through the closed door, and he smiled in spite of his fear that the neighbors would complain because this could only mean one thing: Kurt was still there.

When his parents had announced their intention to go to a job fair in Westerville on the weekend, Sam had half-jokingly told Kurt he wondered if missing yet another shift to stay with his siblings would prove to be the last straw for his long-suffering boss. He hadn't realized, although he really should have, that Kurt would immediately offer to take care of the kids for him. He had hesitated a little before accepting, a bit reluctant to ask this of his friend, but had eventually caved under Kurt's repeated assurances that it was really no trouble. They both knew his family could ill afford for Sam to lose his job.

He hadn't been sure Kurt would still be there, considering his Saturday shift ended pretty late, but apparently his parents weren't back yet, probably stuck in the evening traffic. Even as he opened the motel room's door, Sam admitted to himself he felt guiltily glad his friend had had to stay so long, since it meant he got to see him.

"Sammy!" His little brother exclaimed as Sam entered the room, throwing himself at him and hugging him tightly. Sam was a bit surprised at the warmth of the welcome, but decided to play along.

"Stevie, wow, you have grown so much since I last saw you! How long has it been? It feels like five years at least."

Stevie giggled.

"Not five years, stupid, five hours!"

"It was so cool!" Stacy interrupted as she also went to hug Sam, clearly refusing to be left out. "Jason and Trini got married, and Kimberly was jealous because she liked Trini but then Billy told her he had been in love with her for a long time and they decided they'd get married too, so now we have another wedding to plan!"

A quick glance at the bed, where Kurt was busy trying to make well-worn Power Rangers action figures stand on their own on the unsteady surface, made his sister's words become much clearer, even as he started smiling at how focused his friend seemed to be on his self-imposed task. Kurt glanced up when Sam didn't answer immediately, smiling sheepishly at the blond teen's amused look.

"Hey Sam, how was work?"

And somehow, even though they had never shared more than a casual handshake or press of their shoulders, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to bend down and briefly hug Kurt as well, so he did. Kurt's arms automatically rose to hug Sam back but he still tensed for a second in surprise, so Sam hurried to answer before the other teen could think to ask what had brought this on.

"It went fine, there were no orders outside of Lima and I got some good tips. I see you three had fun?"

"I found those tidying up our new attic and thought the kids would like them, but I think I ended up being the one most enthusiastic about playing with them again," Kurt explained, chuckling a bit, nothing in his light tone indicating he had found their greeting to be anything out of the ordinary.

"They're pretty cool," Stevie admitted, "but they didn't have anyone to fight, except for my dinosaurs but that would have been weird because they look like they come from the future and the dinosaurs don't. That's why they got married instead."

Sam's lips twitched at the boy's matter-of-fact tone, but he feigned solemnness as he answered.

"Seems like a good way to pass the time to me."

"Yeah, it's the best!" Stacy agreed eagerly. "So can Kurt stay long enough for Billy and Kimberly to marry?"

Sam sent Kurt a look meant to say he was deferring the decision to him. Kurt discreetly checked his watch and frowned a little as he saw the time.

"I'm sorry Stacy, it's getting late and I think I'd better go. What would you prefer, for me to leave them here so you can organize the ceremony or for us to wait a bit until we can play together again?"

His sister seemed to be carefully considering her options.

"Can you leave them here so I can play, but still come back for the wedding?"

Sam opened his mouth to tell her not to be greedy and that Kurt had better things to do with his time, only to shut it when the other boy started laughing and ruffled Stacy's hair with an affectionate familiarity that inexplicably made his heart clench.

"I'm sure this can be arranged, smart girl. You can start playing with Jason and Trini and Sam will let me know when I can come over again to officiate the second wedding."

Kurt then seemed to realize the person he was making plans with wasn't actually in charge of the household, in spite of all appearances to the contrary, and raised his head to throw a charming grin at Sam. "If Sam and your parents don't mind, of course." He added, blinking innocently up at his friend.

In spite of the contrast between Kurt's fashionable ensemble and the cheap cloth of the sheets he was sitting on, Sam suddenly found himself irrelevantly thinking that his friend belonged here, gently teasing Sam and joking alongside his family. "What do you think, Sammy?"

Sam just stared silently for a few heartbeats into the mischievous eyes watching for his reaction, until he had to acknowledge the irrepressible thought that was slowly filling him in answer to Kurt's query.

I love you.

"I lo- I mean, I'd love to. For you to come again. And the kids too, they'd love that. Obviously. But only if you don't mind, of course."

Sam wondered where conveniently-placed holes were when you needed them as Kurt raised an eyebrow in his direction, obviously wondering what had him suddenly flustered. Lacking any expedient way to disappear, he went with the second-best option and threw his largest smile at Kurt, hoping he would drop it and barely keeping himself from sighing in relief when he did.

"It's no bother at all, just let me know when you need someone to take care of them, okay?" Not waiting for an answer, Kurt stood and started gathering his stuff, leaving the Power Rangers figurines in Stacy's possessive hold. He turned as he got to the door, receiving a hug from Stevie and smiling one last time at Sam.

"See you on Monday then, and don't forget the History essay on the Civil War you still have to write." Sam made a face between a smile and a frown at the unwanted reminder but promised he wouldn't forget, and then with a cheerful "bye!" Kurt was gone, leaving behind him the subtlest hint at a perfume and a silence that seemed strangely heavy to Sam even as he hurried to break it.

"Come on kiddos it's late, time for bed. But first I want those teeth to be shining!"

Stevie and Stacy giggled as they ran for the bathroom, but even as Sam fell back into the by-now familiar routine of putting his siblings to bed, he could feel the weight of his latest realization threatening to set in and crush him under a whole new lot of problems and impossibilities. He fought it all the same, stubbornly keeping his mind on everything he still had to do before he could allow himself to sink under the covers of his cot for a well-deserved rest.

Later this night, he found that for once he felt grateful towards the exhaustion that had been constantly plaguing him lately: it was probably the only thing which allowed him to fall asleep quickly.