Someday Dreams Awake
A Reigisa Cinderella AU
Chapter One – Excuses
The horse-drawn carriage pulled up to the main gates of a large, grandiose palace. At the hand of the footman, the carriage door opened, and he stepped out into the brisk air of the autumn evening. Lords and ladies from all across the kingdom strode up the steps towards the open doors where extravagantly dressed men stood with disciplined posture, allowing entrance to all of the guests. A low hum of conversation met his ears with delight, and the faint music heard from behind the palace walls played right into his heart. Music, unfamiliar people, a change of scenery, and a promised night of fun—all the things he ever wanted in a single, magical place. He promised himself he would not take a single moment for granted.
A sharp noise rudely snapped him from his sleep. With an unattractive snort, he popped up from his textbook. His eyes darted around the deep brown, musty attic, disoriented, before meeting the glare of an aged man with an angular face and greying, ash brown hair, his flatted hand against the surface of the desk.
"Nagisa!" he yelled, causing him to jump again, "How many times do I have to tell you to stop sleeping in the study?!"
Nagisa took a moment to register the scolding before looking down at the desk, which had served as a rather comfortable sleeping surface for the night, despite the clutter of parchment and textbooks. A small puddle, likely drool, pooled on the finish. His eyes fell upon the parchment atop the open book, where a single number lay incomplete below several other completed mathematical problems. The memories from the previous late night slowly returned.
"Ah…" he said sleepily, "Sorry, Father. There was a lot of work to finish yesterday, and I guess I just got tired…"
His father narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms. Nagisa ducked his head submissively, sensing no sympathy.
"Maybe if you spent less time staring out the window daydreaming and more time on your studies, you would have your work done at a reasonable hour in the first place," he said, "Honestly… You're supposed to be going to a university soon. You'll never make it with this kind of work ethic. Now, I don't want to see your face outside of this room until you've finished everything from this month's lesson. Have I made myself clear?"
Nagisa nodded quietly and picked up his quill to resume the work, making sure not to look away from the page. When he heard the door shut behind his father, he replaced the quill on the desk to wake himself up more properly, yawning and stretching. Sleeping on the books and desk proved a rather poor choice of bed after all, as his back cracked unpleasantly and ached all over. Groggily, he rubbed his face, running his fingers along a deep imprint left by the books on his cheek, and a crusty bit at the corner of his mouth from the drool. He wiped his mouth against his sleeve, making an attempt to feel a little more presentable when he showed himself to the family later.
After his stretches, Nagisa faced back to his desk. The tall tower of textbooks rested on the edge: History, English, Biology, Economics, Physics, and Geography. All of these subjects had been completed for the month. The only book left, the one that lay open as his pillow from the night before, he had left for last. Arithmetic. His least favorite study. Nagisa always left Arithmetic studies for last, starting with his favorite subject—History—and going in order from strongest to weakest from there. A pouting groan left his throat as he understood that meant he had to start his day with unpleasant work. Despite his aversion to the subject, he complied and pulled up his chair, staring into the problem with intense focus.
That concentration proved too much for the first minutes of the morning as his eyes shifted out the window at the cloudless sky. Birds soared freely and sang their heart songs, breathing the fresh air and feeling it beneath their wings. He remembered that feeling. The kind he used to have as a young child before the family expectations fell upon his shoulders, clipping his wings, and leaving him confined to a cage by the window to watch life pass by without him. For just once, he wanted to feel that wind again.
Soft fur brushed against his hand, and a warm body against his leg. Nagisa's attention left the window and fell to the two housecats beside him. The slender, black cat at his leg he called Haru—not an especially social feline, but took a liking to Nagisa. The oversized, fluffy, brown cat on the desk sliding beneath his hand he had named Makoto, whose purrs sent vibrations up his arm. Though large, Makoto would jump at slight noises, even scared of the house mice, leaving the hunting up to the adept Haru. What he lacked in bravery he made up for in loyalty and affection, which he gave to Nagisa like his own kitten. The family had a variety of pets around the house, though they never named them, which Nagisa felt seemed unkind and took it upon himself to give them names and speak to them. He never felt without friends having them around, despite the difference in species and language. They always provided the companionship he so desperately needed while wasting away in his books.
"Good morning, Mako-chan, Haru-chan," he said with a smile, "You guys keeping my feet on the ground this morning?"
Haru replied with an affirmative mew, nudging him with his head. Makoto plopped heavily into Nagisa's lap, staring up at him with his bright green eyes. Nagisa chuckled and let out a surrendering sigh, turning back to his work.
"That's probably for the best," he said, "I'm almost done after all. If I finish early enough, Father might give me a small break for at least today."
He labored through the incomplete equation, finally finding what he deemed the correct solution. His free hand ran through Makoto's thick fur, moving on to the next problem, and then the next. The work, while difficult, never surpassed his capabilities. It was the lengthiness and mundane quality of the workload day after day—week after week—month after month—and year after year that had worn him thin over time. Now it seemed his drive withered more the longer he oversaturated in his textbooks. His studies never came to an end, leaving a life in the outside world a mere concept for only his dreams.
Haru's tiny protest from the floor brought Nagisa's attention back to his quill, which had stopped moving. He smiled and spared the small cat a soft word of gratitude, returning to the arithmetic. The rest of his work went uninterrupted by daydreaming, in hopes that his father might let him have the rest of the day to himself.
The moment he finished, Nagisa rushed down the stairs with his stack of newly completed work, his steps thumping on old wood of the house, creaking and whining under his light weight. He heard the giddy voices of his sisters at the foyer, no doubt about to leave with their parents into town for a bit of shopping. The three had just begun stepping out the door behind their mother, their father following behind with his hand upon the doorknob. Perfect timing. He bolted to his father, thrusting the papers into his hands.
"I'm finished!" he announced, breathless, "I finished my work."
Suspiciously, his father stared him down, giving the papers a sharp flick to straighten them for a quick scan. Nagisa's heart raced faster with anticipation.
"I double-checked and triple-checked all of my work," he promised, "It's all there."
His father responded with a grunt, still looking through the coursework, otherwise uncommunicative. He slowly flipped to the next page, running his finger down the lines. Nagisa shuffled his feet anxiously, unable to wait any longer for a response.
"I-I was wondering since I finished all my work for the month early if maybe I could have the rest of the day off? Maybe I could go to town with the rest of the family today?"
He received nothing but silence as his father flipped through to the next subjects. A lump formed in Nagisa's throat, which he found difficult to swallow and his breath remained short.
His eyes shifted out the door to the women of his family boarding the carriage, exchanging excitable conversation about the outing. They frequented the marketplace weekly—bi-weekly on a special occasion—and still felt such enthusiasm, yet not nearly as much as he felt. His last trip took place nearly a month prior, and even that was only to the bookstore to purchase new textbooks. Even if he only went to the bookstore, he itched to leave their property.
Finally, his father lowered the stack.
"So, you finished," he said, "I'll have to look through this more carefully when I return home to be sure you've answered it all correctly—"
"But can I go with you?!" Nagisa asked.
The interruption did not bode well as his father's deep cerise eyes glanced at him and narrowed. Nagisa stood a little straighter, hoping to show some maturity that even his father could trust. If he could promise excellent behavior, he might just persuade him. With a reluctant sigh, his father responded.
"All right," he said, but just before Nagisa could get too excited, "But only to the bookstore for today."
Nagisa's initial thrill deflated. An outing was still an outing however, and even the bookstore held a special excuse to look forward to.
"Thank you, Father!" he said, hurrying to the carriage before he could change his mind.
He climbed into the seat beside his mother, across from his older sisters who took up the row, all dressed in exquisite gowns. No one could argue the Hazuki daughters were all beautiful, each with stunning complexions, attractive figures, and long hair in varying shades of sienna with eyes to match. The community regarded them fondly for their ladylike poise and beauty. Nagisa loved his sisters dearly and unconditionally, even though he never experienced the same lovely ladies everyone else had met, and because of this, he remained wary of them. As soon as he took his seat, all three of them ceased chatting to give him a chilling glare.
"What's he doing here?" asked Natsumi, the youngest.
"Yeah," agreed Nami, the middle sister, "Don't you have work to do or something?"
"I finished it," Nagisa said, "Father said I could come."
Nanako, the eldest, rolled her eyes to the distance, pouting. Though not entirely sure why, Nagisa felt the strongest resentment from her. His mother waved her hand dismissively at the girls, frowning.
"Now, now," she said, "If your father said he could come, he can come. Don't be rude to your brother."
She tucked her hair behind her ear, facing Nagisa with friendly golden-brown eyes. While his sisters mostly took after their father, Nagisa took mostly after his fair mother, though much more vibrantly. His parents often compared his hair to the sun, as bright as his spirit, and as bright as his future.
"Your father's allowing you to accompany him to the bookstore again, correct?" she asked.
"Yep," Nagisa chirped.
His mother's smile faltered slightly.
"'Yes,'" she corrected him.
Nagisa flushed and reworded his response appropriately, trying not to slump. His mother, kind as she treated him compared to the rest, still had her own set of standards on how he should conduct himself.
His father finally stepped into the carriage, and Nagisa slid over to allow him to take the seat beside his mother. He preferred a seat at the end anyway, since it allowed him a better view. The coach moved the horses at his father's signal, and the journey to the town began. With their thrill renewed, the three sisters resumed their discussion about the dresses they planned to order, already bored with the previous week's choices they once deemed the most perfect of all. After the dressmakers sized them, they debated stopping in other shops to browse the perfumes, jewelry, and other indulgences their father would buy them without batting an eye. Nagisa sighed and turned his attention outside the carriage, not wanting to hear another word about where the family's money went.
He took in a deep breath of the fresh air, filling his lungs as full as he could inhale before letting it out. Autumn had already begun to settle into the trees, bringing back the ephemeral beauty of the familiar crimson and gold leaves for the year. The last butterflies of the season fluttered across the grassy fields and through the shaded woods, soon to make a departure to a warmer land.
Out of the forest, over the clear river, and before long the dirt-muffled steps of the horses' hooves began to clop on the cobblestone path leading into the kingdom's square. It took a great deal of restraint for Nagisa not to stand in the carriage in his excitement. The smells wafting in the air from the bakery whet his appetite, and he swore he could pick out some of the ingredients from his favorite Iwatobig Surprise Bread his mother often brought him. Townspeople walked around leisurely, running errands of their own or even walking about just because. Imagine! And all of them engaged in conversation—families, friends, and lovers everywhere—all so fortunate to have a network to speak with daily.
The carriage came to a stop in the center of the town square. One by one the members of the family stepped out onto the ground, Nagisa exiting last. He tipped his head up and marveled at the tall structures around him. Above all, still far in the distance, stood the palace, its white and gold gleaming in the morning sun in all of its majesty. Memories of his fantastic dream widened Nagisa's smile. That place simultaneously so near and so far away gave him just enough hope that he could experience that recurring dream someday.
"Nagisa!"
The voice brought his attention back to Earth. His sisters had already left for the shops and his mother had gone off to the market, leaving him alone with his father, who seemed impatient to get to the bookstore and return to the house. He gestured for Nagisa to follow, which he did obediently. If he stayed on his father's good side, these trips might become more frequent for him. The two passed by fascinating shops and merchants, selling curious items. Some of the foreign wares Nagisa could not even identify, even from all of his studies, only further tempting him to stray from the path to take a closer look and ask the merchants about their purposes. It took a great amount of willpower to pull his eyes away, walking briskly and with poise. His father looked at him once, and at a glance Nagisa found a proud smile of approval.
They reached the bookstore at the far side of town, the only shop Nagisa knew. The quiet store had a nostalgic scent that made him feel at ease. If not always in a hurry to leave, he would curl up in the corner of the shop with a stack of novels and happily spend the day reading tales of daring adventures and far-off lands, like in Sights.The one novel he had managed to salvage from the family's library purge held a special place in his heart, and sometimes he treated himself to a chapter on a sleepless night. Of course, fictional novels had no educational content evident enough to convince his father into allowing that, so even those were left only for dreams. His favorite and only novel, his fairy tales from childhood, and his imagination would have to hold him over until he could afford his own stories.
The stops his father made at each shelf were calculated, as he had memorized the layout and which aisles held the specific textbooks by subject. Nagisa only had brief moments to look around from where he stood, and he made those count. Peering through spaces between the books, he searched for that sole reason he loved visiting the bookstore. Behind the Sciences crouched an old woman, leafing through a book on medicines with shaking hands. His father moved on, and so did he. Nagisa peeked through the Histories at a tall man reading a book about the past wars. Beside him, a shorter man held several books and still browsed for more. His father removed a thick book from the shelf, looked it over briefly, and moved on. And so did he.
The process continued through the English, Economics, and Geography sections to no avail, but Nagisa held on to hope that never failed him before. When they stopped by the books on business plans, he finally found the familiar face. He smiled and toed to the end of the aisle to peer around the shelves for a better look at the boy on the other side. He stood much taller than Nagisa, with long legs and a more defined build. His short, deep blue hair had a ruffled appearance as always, complimenting modest, tattered clothes. Nagisa's eyes fell curiously to the four books in his hands, squinting for the titles. When the boy lifted his hand to push up his thin glasses, Nagisa took the opportunity to read the spines. Advanced Trigonometry, Theories of the Universe, and something in a language he could not decipher. As usual, his choice of textbooks far surpassed Nagisa's current level of study, which never failed to impress him.
The boy had obtained an inspiring collection of advanced-level textbooks over the time Nagisa had spent observing him, though infrequently, over the past two years. He became as familiar to the shop as the books themselves, since it did not matter what time Nagisa came into the store, he always found him at a shelf with exactly four books, contemplating whether to buy a fifth but never committing. In all that time, he never once saw him accompanied by another. Not only was he well versed in academics, but his own father deemed him responsible enough to choose his study material. But Nagisa found him special for one other reason.
His ear picked up the sound of a book lifting off the shelf, and he stood straight immediately to face his father. He looked at the book briefly, squinting closer at the cover, and then replaced it to keep searching. Letting out a breath, Nagisa loosened his posture and turned back around the shelf to his mysterious, secret friend, though he only caught a short glimpse of him as the boy left the section. His jaw dropped and he let out an exasperated sigh, left wondering the—
"Son, what are you doing?"
In a panic, he whipped around to find his father standing directly behind him, staring at him suspiciously.
"A-Ah, nothing…" Nagisa stuttered.
His father sighed and motioned for him to follow.
"Come," he said, "We're ready to leave."
Nagisa glanced again at the bookshelf achingly and unsatisfied, but conformed and allowed his father to lead the way. He tried his hardest not to pout, though still feeling indignant all the way to the line to the merchant.
"Head up, Nagisa."
His father's words brought to his attention that he had begun staring at his feet, and he righted himself coolly before his eyes flashed open to the back of the boy, who stood just before him in line. The merchant quietly went through the books one-by-one, already halfway through the stack, tallying the price of each. Nagisa held his breath, transfixed by the small distance between them. Even here, he had never stood so closely to the boy, who still had not acknowledged him.
The merchant paused a moment, taking a closer look at the book in his hand, and then resting it on the top of the stack as he updated his inventory. Nagisa's eyes shifted to the counter, peeking at the cover of the book on top.
A Splendid World.
A warm smile spread across his face as his gaze softened, looking back ahead of him in line. As always, he never left Nagisa feeling disappointed in his choice of novels. He, too, seemed to have a yearning for the world outside their kingdom, and for this reason, Nagisa knew they were kindred spirits. The boy handed the shopkeeper his money after the total had been stated, and turning smoothly to the left, took his leave, staring on forward. When Nagisa and his father stepped up to the merchant, he noticed the man shaking his head.
"He left me with his change again…" the merchant muttered.
His father responded with a disapproving hum, but Nagisa smiled, stifling a chuckle. An intelligent young man with his head in the clouds. What a pair they were.
Despite Nagisa's efforts to behave all day, after the visit to the bookstore, his father dropped him off in the carriage with the new books to go back to the house and get a head start on the next month's material. The horseman set off without delay so he could return to the square posthaste for the rest of the family. Nagisa watched the previous journey's scenery in reverse wistfully, taking in as much as he could before he would be indefinitely confined to the study again. The books weighed heavily in his lap, so he rested them on the seat beside him, and then melted against the padded seat, feeling relief in his spine and shoulders. His shorter stature allowed him to swing his legs, the too-large shoes his parents insisted upon buying him (in foolish hopes of prompting further growth) clumping against his toes and heels. All the while, he wore a smile from ear to ear, feeling gratified by this part of the trip most of all. The view felt even more enjoyable from this angle. His eyes focused again on the bright blue sky, where a few fluffy clouds had accumulated. He played with the formations in his head, finding all sorts of images to pass the time. Mountains, waves, forests, and castles—wonderful things he hoped to see one day.
Nagisa's smile softened as his eyes fell back to the mound beside him, staring at the spines of the History and Geography textbooks, the closest things he had to stories and the places he could go. So much more lay beyond those words, more than he could hope to experience in a lifetime. The touch of soft sand or solid stone could satisfy his curiosity more than that of flimsy pages. Print could never replace a human guide or companion from whom he could learn the cultures and languages of other lands.
The thought brought back his original smile with a pleasant warmth blossoming in his chest. Should he travel with a companion, he thought he might like to walk by the side of the boy from the bookstore, who most likely had a much better understanding of the world outside the kingdom. He felt fate had plans for them, as he never looked at another this way, so he must have taken interest in the boy's familiar longing for adventure. As much as he valued the bond he had with the family pets, Nagisa often fantasized about having human friends he could hold a conversation with, and had long ago decided he wanted him as his very first friend.
Before long, the multi-story house came back in view, and dread began to weigh him down, sinking deeper into the seat. The carriage slowed and stopped by the front door, and he dawdled a bit by standing slowly, and picking up the books with great care. But as all things must end, he eventually had to exit the carriage and watch the horses pull away, disappearing from sight. With a defeated sigh, he turned and went back inside, trudging up each step to where he would spend the rest of the day aside from meals.
Makoto and Haru waited for him where he left them in the study, and he offered them a tired salutation. The larger cat sprang up immediately to greet Nagisa with a rub against the legs, while Haru blinked at him sleepily from the floor. Nagisa's mood lifted at the warm welcomes, setting down his books on the desk and lifting up Makoto with difficulty. Haru went to sleep promptly to avoid being handled. Chuckling, Nagisa took Makoto with him to his chair, sitting him on his lap while he ran his hand along his fluffy coat.
"I didn't get to stay out long, but today was a good day," he told him, "It's getting nice and cool finally, and all the trees look beautiful. There were lots of people at the square, and all sorts of merchants with neat things for sale. The bakery was making Iwatobig Surprise Bread too, so it smelled amazing. Mother might even bring some home if it's not too pricey, and then you and Haru-chan can smell it too."
Makoto purred, nuzzling into his hand. From the floor, Haru's ear had perked up, then flatted again once he realized he had been caught. Nagisa smiled and faced Makoto again.
"And you know what else, Mako-chan?" he said with soft elation, "I saw my friend again today. He bought a novel called A Splendid World this time, and Trigonometry, Astronomy, and foreign language books too. I even got to stand behind him in line. He has a habit of forgetting his change, apparently."
He laughed a little, charmed by the boy's carelessness, but when he remembered his father's disapproval, his smile faded. Even someone who had almost everything together could not impress his father. How far did Nagisa have to go before he would prove his responsibility and independence? Could he ever live up to those standards? He pulled the chair up to the desk and picked the thick History book out of the new stack, opening to the first page and staring at the first sentence with odd disinterest. The words no longer made sense to him. For the first time, he questioned the purpose. If his father would never deem his efforts adequate, what was he toiling over this mundane work for? Nagisa shook his head, lifting Makoto over the arm of the chair to set him on the floor, and beginning his reading with unsteady focus. Until he found his answer, he would at least have to stick to the routine to keep his parents mostly content.
Late into the night, even after the rest of his family had returned, Nagisa struggled through the first quarter of the book, a subject he would normally have at least halfway finished. Once he finished supper, he attempted to resume his studies with intensified concentration, but found the paragraph about the castles of Germany blurring into dreamy images. He rubbed his face, but only in vain, nodding off into the book. Finally, he rested his cheek against the page, staring sleepily ahead. If his efforts were for nothing, this one day's failure to push through did not matter. Even if he could only escape to a fantasy, it would have to suffice for the moment. He gave in to his heavy eyelids, and within seconds fell deeply asleep, smiling as he arrived at the gates of the palace once again.