"And stay out, you free loading punk!"
And with that, Roronoa Zoro, college student and soon to be master swordsman, was thrown out on his ass. He laid on the sidewalk in front of the garbage dump of an apartment complex as Nami, his now former landlord, one of his best friends, and on-off girlfriend stood glaring at him with eyes bright enough to make the devil piss his red tights. She then reached back and threw out two hastily packed duffle bags, laughing as one of them hit him while he tried to sit up.
"I'm going, I'm going! Crazy bitch...But don't complain when I don't come back!" The gruff man grunted as he stood and grabbed the bags. If you really wanna know why he was getting his ass thrown onto the street, literally, it took some explaining.
See, the main reason that he was constantly breaking it off with Nami was because Zoro was in a very compromising situation, ie wrestling with his sexuality and the idea that he might like dick a little more than he was previously comfortable. Every time he looked at a reasonably attractive male specimen, he always felt incredibly guilty. I mean, he had Nami, who was quite the shapely lady herself. (He was quite the envy of his campus, Nami was a goddess among queens.) Zoro was not the type of man to squander something like that. Nami was his friend, a dear, close friend, who deserved someone who appreciated just how superb she was. That man just happened to not to be Zoro.
Unfortunately, the lovely auburnette didn't seem to agree with his noble reasons, hence our hero being kicked out on his aforementioned ass. The poor modern day samurai was stuck weighing his options at the local bus stop. He looked for all the world like a vagrant, what with his choppy stubble, thrown on plaid shirt and generally slovenly appearance. It was kinda hot, but that didn't stop all the obviously new moms from tugging their brats away, muttering about "how this city was going down hill" and "someone should really do something about that man."
He allowed himself to scoff at the idle gossip, it was really the only enjoyment he could allow himself right now. As he pulled out his phone, he winced at the wallpaper of the selfie they took together on their last date, he knew he shouldn't let her pick his background. As he began to text Luffy to convince Ace to pick him up, he began to slowly drift into the anger phase of most breakups.
All he'd said was that they weren't going to work anymore because he was gay! If he was a lesser man, he could've just broke it off and not have told her why. It wasn't like she couldn't do better! She was just being a bitch to be a bitch!
As soon as the thought crossed his mind, his unrighteous anger fizzled out. He knew for a fact she was acting out because she was hurt, and she had every right to be. The man sighed, wallowing in his chagrin, and shut off his phone leaning back on the uncomfortable plastic bench to wait for his ride to appear.
He had very nearly fallen asleep when Ace pulled up in his raggedy beat up red Thunderbird (which the brothers lovingly dubbed "Shanks" after their crazy but very loving adopted dad.) and honked the horn obnoxiously, waking Zoro up from a blissful almost nap and disturbing the soccer moms and business men.
"Yo!" The older man called from the open window they both knew didn't roll up properly. As Zoro stood up and gathered his things, he reminded himself how stupid he was to be letting a narcoleptic man drive him to his home and how he shouldn't have let Luffy accompany him to his driving test, thus securing the fact that he wouldn't be getting a license from that school anytime soon. As he threw his bags into the back seat of the beautiful beaten up car, he began pondering Ace's appearance, seeing as he was newly single and now openly gay man:
He had to admit, now that he was looking, Ace was a very beautiful man. He had a nice muscled body, but a really kind and open face, with cute freckles and incredibly soft looking black locks. He wouldn't mind if Ace wanted to- Whoa, those were bad thoughts. Shaking those thoughts out of his head, he clambered into the front seat, grunting as he settled down into the leather upholstered seat.
"Your old lady getting you down?" Ace practically snickered out, wiggling in his seat and starting up the car before Zoro even put his seatbelt on.
"Yeah, for the last time. she kicked my ass out."
"Damn bro, I never thought she'd really do it." He laughed before cursing under his breath. "Now I owe Pops 20 bucks and a punch." Zoro winced in sympathy at the thought of having to take a punch from the great Edward Newgate, reigning champion of bad jokes and ass whoopin'.
"Naw, I deserved it. I finally caved."
"Oh dude! So you like dick now? Join the club, man!" Ace laughed and slapped the other's boy's knee. "You just got me 50 bucks, man! Robin owes me!"
Zoro rolled his eyes. He knew for a fact Robin would get her money back someway. He didn't need to question how they knew, he chalked it up to built in gay-dar. He sometimes felt like he could sense it to, but maybe it was because his powers hadn't "fully awakened" so to speak.
The rest of the ride continued with similar banter until they came to the "D" Brothers' house, a place Zoro nearly lived in during his high school life. The very second they closed the car doors, the front door of the house practically exploded open, allowing a very familiar blur of red to barrel out like a cannonball.
"Sleepover!" The shorts clad young man screeched as he tackled Zoro against the car. Zoro winced as the constant pain in his back tripled in intensity. He didn't need to open his eyes to see the shit eating grin on Ace's face. He and the older man each grabbed a bag and trudged inside, Luffy bouncing behind them into the house.
The sigh of relief was felt rather than heard as Zoro collapsed onto the couch. It was worlds more comfortable than that bench, but after years of having getting chewed out by Nami and spending lonely nights on their nightmarish uncomfortable couch, his bone structure had practically adapted to sleeping on hard surfaces, so it was awkward laying on something comfortable.
Luffy, clad in an over sized red cardigan and shorts despite the autumn weather, dive bombed onto the couch next to him, grinning. "So whaddya wanna do?"
"Curl up in a ball, sleep, and rethink my life choices." He attempted to curl up when the pain became too intense.
"But Zoro!" The young man whined. "That's what you wanna do every time you come over!"
The mosshead blinked slowly and rolled to face the couch cushions.
"I need some quick money and a place to stay." If it were anyone else, they'd think Zoro was crazy to the "D" brothers of all people for money. But in their friend group, it was well known that Luffy liked to disappear every other weekend, only to turn up again with a huge wad of cash. Honestly they were too scared to speculate, all except for Robin, whose knowing smile was scarier than the idea Luffy whoring himself out.
It then became a running joke as the weekends piled up, Luffy being a prostitute on the side. They borrowed money without guilt, that Luffy would ask for nothing other than food in return. So, Luffy didn't react to the request other than to tap his chin.
"How much to do you need?" He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his over around him, smiling inquisitively.
"Enough to get an apartment, pay rent, and feed myself."
Ace, who was parking the car and only heard the final bits of the conversation, walked in and leaned against the back of the couch,tapping Luffy's shoulder and raising an eyebrow.
"So, uh...You need a job?" The grin was palpable in his tone, and it was suspicious enough to make Zoro look up.
"Yeeeeeeeeeah?"
They had matching grins on their face as they scooted closer, Zoro pressing himself against the back of the couch. This was a bad idea, what the fuck was he doing, this could be very bad, he was fucking up right now, abort the damn mission you dumbass-
"We could get you get you a job?" They practically hissed in unison, their hands curling in his clothes.
What in the name of all things holy was he getting himself into?