Title: Beltane
Author: Pendaren
E-mail: Daniel gets a symbiote
Season: 10
Spoilers: Nothing specific
Pairing: S/D, S/J and S/P mentioned
Rating: R
Archive: LJ. If anyone else wants it go for it, just tell me so I can visit.
Disclaimer: The standard - they don't belong to me, not even in my wildest dreams so please don't sue me…

Authors Notes: S/D so don't act like you haven't been forwarned, if you find that pairing icky, steer clear or don't complain. - sorry, didn't realize my format went to the dogs - hopes this works better

WARNINGS: mention of rape.

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Belial looked over his prisoners. He couldn't believe his luck, the system lords with all their power couldn't bring the legendary SG-1 to their knees but he, a minor Goa'uld with barely a hundred Jaffa, was face to face with all five and had the upper hand.

Belial glanced at each in turn and noted their condition. The rebel Jaffa Teal'c was the worst off, he was bleeding and was barely conscious. The new leader, Mitchell he heard was the man's name, propped him up on one side while Daniel Jackson supported the other. The two women lie in a heap on the floor before him, having been dragged there by a pair of Jaffa. He could sense the remains of Qetesh from the ex-host Vala

He didn't even intent to get such a prize; his encounter with them was complete happenstance. He nodded to his Jaffa and turned towards the other beings on the ship instead to begin the interrogation of his intended target. The Jaffa took the Tau'ri away so he could question the Tok'ra without interruption.

The Tok'ra before him was Borealis; she glared at him. "So I finally get to meet your new host Borealis. She looks quite lovely. Is she 'interesting'? Maybe I will have a little fun before I get to you."

"You never could think of anything other than carnal pursuits could you, Belial?" Borealis said. "You'll never break her while I'm alive."

"Of course not, you always liked the docile hosts so that you could easily subvert their will. Let's see how she does without you old girl." From his pocket Belial removed a small device and placed it on the host's chest. It began to glow and the light went out in her eyes. She blinked in confusion. "Hello there, little one." He smiled.

"What did you do to Borealis?" she asked confused.

"Simple symbiote suppressor: a Tollan invention. Now the old bat can't help you, it is just you and me."

"What do you want?" She tried to look indifferent but her eyes reflected the fear within.

"Why not start with the pleasantries, like how about your name? I'm sure you can give that to me without having to take a few prods from the pain stick or a shot with the ribbon device."

She looked at him and he could tell that she weighed the situation carefully before responding. "Maia, my name is Maia."

"How old are you and how recently blended?" He inquired.

"Why are you so interested in me? Just get to the point already." Maia looked at Belial squarely.

"I'm not interested in you; I'm interested in seeing if you are worth torturing for information when you may not even have it."

"Not that it is any of your business but I was twenty three when blended eighteen years ago."

"You may not know her then, ever heard of Ro.…" An explosion down the hall interrupted Belial. His Jaffa scrambled outside. "I should have expected this. Let's see what damage those ruffians have done shall we?" He grabbed Maia and lifted her up.

Apparently SG-1 had patched Teal'c up and escaped his guards. He saw from his view screen, Teal'c fight with the new guy nearby just in case he fell in battle. He watched them dial up the gate and a staff blast hit Teal'c. The leader grabbed him and they both fell through the gate. Belial sighed and figured they were too much of a hassle to keep anyways and he didn't have that many Jaffa to deal with the problem of keeping them. He was about to call his Jaffa back and cut his losses when he saw two of the Tau'ri go down from hand to hand combat and the third surrender. Three out of five wasn't bad. Maybe the Lucian alliance will pay something for them.

He looked over at Maia too late as he saw her fall. She must have released some hidden toxin to kill herself and it must have been a big dose because he could feel the chemical work on his body. He quickly ringed Maia's body off but Belial felt that he was too late; the poison was killing him. His eyes flashed as he quickly maneuvered the cargo ship to the gate and transported what was left of the SG team on board. He grabbed the male and yanked him to his feet. Before anyone could stop him the symbiote jumped into Daniel Jackson's body. He watched his old body collapse then felt fatigue from the transference over come him and his new host.

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Vala looked at Daniel and tried to wake Sam up quickly. "Sam, come on, you have to wake up. We have to tie Daniel up and as much fun as that sounds I would rather have help."

Sam opened her eyes and stared at Vala. Her vision was slightly blurry but she could hear the fear in Vala's voice. "What happened?"

"Belial jumped into Daniel."

"Daniel?" Sam tried to stand but stumbled. Vala helped her get up and walked her to the front of the cargo ship. "I think I have a concussion."

"Let me help," Daniel walked over.

"Don't even think about it Belial. I still remember what you are like," Vala stepped in between Daniel and Sam with defiance.

Daniel's eyes flashed. "I mean you no harm, my name is Beltane. I am Tok'ra. My host was Belial. He was the one in control." Daniel walked over to Belial's body and pulled out the symbiote suppressor and showed it to Vala before he turned it off. He reached into another pocket and pulled out a healing device. His hand hovered over the ribbon device but he resisted the urge to put it on.

"So you were trapped inside his body?" Vala asked as he went to work on Sam.

"For almost fifty years." Beltane replied.

Daniel blinked and slumped over when the healing was over. Vala went to help him but he gestured her away. "I'm okay, just a bit tired. Healing Sam after blending took a lot out of me."

Sam opened her eyes and saw Vala help Daniel sit up straight. "What happened? I thought you said Daniel was..."

"Sam, it is okay, Belial wasn't a Goa'uld. Beltane is the one who jumped, for lack of a better word, into me. He is Tok'ra." Daniel stepped towards her as Vala went to pilot the ship off the planet His eyes flashed. "I don't mean you any harm," Beltane spoke in his deep voice and took Sam's hand in his. He felt the tingle of naquadah even without Vala near.

"Beltane, I know that name…Beltane and Belial." Sam grasped at her memories, sifted through Jolinar's and suddenly yanked her hand away. "He's supposed to be dead." Sam backpedaled quickly in fear.

"What do you mean dead?" Daniel asked. "Like MIA, presumed dead?"

"Like death sentence dead. The Tok'ra sentenced both to die for killing Lucius, almost killing Lantash and…" Sam's voice faded as Jolinar's memories flooded her like a tidal wave. Blood, skin and tears flashed before Carter. She felt sadness, pain and shame from those memories wash over her.

Guilt overwhelmed Beltane and he wondered how Sam knew so much. Daniel opened his mind to him. Sam was once host to Jolinar, a Tok'ra.

The tingle made sense now. Both the women had been hosts before. He just didn't realize it when they both were near each other. Memories of a hundred years ago engulfed Daniel as Beltane revealed the truth to him.

Belial and Beltane heard their best friends, the girls they loved; tell them that they were in love. Belial hid his emotions as Rosha and Jolinar told him they were going to go on their first date with Lantash and his host Lucius. Rosha was excited, for her this was the first relationship since blending and Lucius, like Belial, was one of her childhood friends. Jolinar was more practical, Lucius was a bit boring but she liked Lantash since before she was blended with Rosha, she was eager to give it a try since she never had a host that was interested in him. Beltane teased Jolinar while hiding the fact that he loved Jolinar and Rocha too.

Working in the service of Cronus was dangerous and they had died many times. The sarcophagus trips drove Beltane closer to the edge between Tok'ra and Goa'uld and the idea of eternal life began to infect and corrupt Belial. As Jolinar and Rosha fell more in love for Lantash and Lucius, Belial and Beltane felt more and more jealous. Their combined jealousies drove them one night to kill Lucius and Lantash and take Jolinar and Rosha for themselves

I could have stopped him back then but I didn't. I'm just as guilty as he is. I didn't stop him because I wanted her so badly too. When the council tried to execute me I ran. I was so preoccupied with guilt that I didn't notice Belial didn't feel guilty. I didn't see he was beyond hope until it was too late and he trapped me within.

At least Lantash lived. Daniel tried to comfort him.At least now you are free.

I must rest now Daniel Jackson, Beltane drifted off to sleep and recover.

"Sam, are you okay," Daniel went to her side.

"Yeah Daniel. I'm just a bit worn out, from all those memories coming to me all the sudden."

"He told me what happened. They raped her... I mean them."

"It wasn't his fault. The Tok'ra were just starting to learn how bad the Sarcophagus was to them. Beltane is the reason the Tok'ra avoids it now. Before it was just a theory like Za'tarc's were before Anise and Freya proved it." Sam looked at Daniel and saw he still felt guilt for Beltane. "Besides, Jolinar doesn't, didn't, think Rosha would have survived Netu and Binar without that memory to remind her that she had lived through worse. Jolinar herself forgave him a long time ago."

"I just hope Beltane can forgive himself," Daniel told her.

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Vala set the ship back down after the Jaffa left and Sam dialed up the gate.

"We were worried about you," Cam said over the radio as soon as the IDC was authenticated.

"Same here how's Teal'c?"

"Still in surgery; how did things go on your end?"

"Fine, just fine; we are bringing home a guest," Sam looked at Daniel a little bit worried. "He is Tok'ra." She pushed Daniel through the gate before he could elaborate.

As they walked through the gate they heard Cameron yell from the hallway, "I thought the Tok'ra we were to meet was a chick."

General Landry walked around the corner first and glanced at the team. Cam followed close behind and noted that Sam walked down the ramp with Daniel and Vala but no one else was present. "Sir, I'd like you to meet Beltane." When she pointed to Daniel, Mitchell groaned.

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"Martouf was right," Daniel hung his legs over the gurney and faced Sam. She glanced up at him. "Huh?"

"Martouf, he said you look like Rosha. Beltane says so too."

"Is he awake?" Sam asked quizzically.

"Yeah but he thinks it would be better if I stay in control what with everything going on here. He wants to spend as much time free as he can. Once the briefing is over we will probably be in jail."

"What? Daniel, he isn't going to go to jail. He was under Belial's control on the planet."

"But once you tell them his history prior to his suppression," Daniel began.

"How long has it been since he was in a Sarcophagus?"

"He hasn't seen one in eight years."

"And how long has he been suppressed by Belial?" Sam inquired.

"Forty three years."

"Daniel, the crime happened almost a hundred years ago, all the victims are dead, the Tok'ra are in shambles so there would be no one to turn him over too even if their legal system and statutes of limitations applied. He was a prisoner of not just Belial but of his guilt for so long that he has paid his dues and besides, Jolinar forgave him a long time ago. That is the most important part." Sam shifted and looked deep into Daniel's eyes. "She did care for you Beltane."

"Do you forgive me?" Beltane surfaced.

"There is nothing for me to forgive. I only hold the memories but I do know what the sarcophagus can do though watching Daniel so I wouldn't blame you even if I was Rosha."

"Thank you, Sam. May I call you Sam?"

"Sam, Carter, as long as it isn't Samantha or Sammy. Already had two Tok'ra call me them."

Beltane was puzzled so Daniel explained.Sam's father was host to Selmak and he took to calling her Sammy like her father. Lantash and his host Martouf called her Samantha.

The Tau'ri are more involved with the Tok'ra then I though. I'm glad, Belial was actually trying to find Rocha and if he knew you could have had information on her he probably would have tried to get it from you instead of Borealis and Maia. A wave of guilt went over him as he felt their lose.

"Hey Carter, Doc says you and Vala are clean and Teal'c is coming out of surgery now. Why not debrief us while Daniel gets stabbed with more needles?" Mitchell smiled at Daniel with his last words.

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"How did the debriefing go?" Daniel walked into her office.

"Fine, what about you? They said they were going to use the suppressor device to see if Beltane was trying to pull a fast one on us."

"Yeah, that was weird; I was in full control and could feel Beltane in the back of my mind. Not like when he is sleeping but not like when he gives me control either. Felt lonelier."

"So are they letting you stay on the team?"

"Until we can find the Tok'ra and a new host yes. The brass can't wait for him to be gone though. I didn't say anything Sam. Beltane kept wanting to though. He is still riddled with guilt."

"You did the right thing Daniel. Don't want to look like a liar about not reporting it myself."

"That's what I told him. Also, though we can tell the difference, some people will still see Jolinar and Rocha and you as one person and him and Belial and me as another just because we share the same memories. I didn't want them thinking that you had been the victim in this whole mess and me capable of being a perpetrator. Not that I wouldn't go to jail to protect you Sam, just thought they would see you as a victim because you have the memories of one and I know how much you hate that."

"Thank you Daniel. I'm glad I have such a good friend."

Daniel's face fell and Beltane stirred as Daniel walked away. He felt the wave of sorrow go though his host, the familiar feeling of heartbreak. You care for her don't you. You hope for more.

She has Jack, her heart belongs to him. I have no right to mess with that. She is happy and that's all that matters. If all she wants is to offer friendship then I'll gladly take it.

I wish Belial and I had had your spirit Daniel. It would have saved us so much grief.

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Sam couldn't get any sleep; every time she shut her eyes she kept remembering the death of Lucius, Rocha and Jolinar's rape as if it were her own, or Jolinar suppressing Rocha against her will in Netu when they were with Binar. She tried to block them out with work but all that did was make her more fatigued. As each day passed, the nightmares became more vivid. Sam could see Belial looking back at her, feel his breath upon her skin, his hands on her body as if he had raped her. The seventh night back was the worst. She struggled to fight back but the phantom weight pressed her down. When she opened her mind's eye she saw Daniel instead of Belial. Sam awoke crying.

Daniel and Beltane kept visiting her in her lab but as each day passed she grew more and more distant. When Sam turned in her vacation request everyone except Daniel was surprised.

Sam walked into the room and sat down. She already had her story all strung out in her head to protect them from the real truth. A convoluted story about drugs and memory loss, plus best friend remembering, equals memories resurfacing. It explained away the crime being in the past, the best friend who she wanted back in her life, and the recent nightmares. Sam hated that she would have to lie to these people but she wanted her life back. She looked around the room, she was a bit early, only a few people occupied chairs, two of which she noticed were probably from the academy. The walls had posters with statistics on domestic violence and child abuse, among others. Most bore the mark of TESSA; there was a banner above the door written in crayons, markers and paint in bubble letters. There was even a SafePets poster that made Sam smile.

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"Hey Daniel," Sam called out to him as he walked down the hall. He had been giving her space since her return from vacation, afraid that anything he did would cause her to have nightmares again.

"Have they been letting you out of the mountain yet?"

"Yeah, we were cleared a week and a half ago. Haven't actually gone out but we are allowed to."

"Good. Do you want to come with me for a picnic? I wanted to introduce you to some people. It is a fundraiser at a park. Pasta." Sam waved two tickets.

"Fundraiser. Won't it be a bit awkward with me there seeing as all those women are..."

"They know all about what happened between us, or think they do. They think you were on drugs; which is really what the sarcophagus acts like, so we aren't technically lying, it just isn't any drug they know of. Our memories are only now surfacing but the incident happened several years ago, another technicality, given a hundred years has past."

"Are you sure you want me to go? We haven't talked a lot since you started going to this group thing."

"It's up to you. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything."

"If you feel my presence is needed to help you heal, then I will attend Sam." Beltane told her.

"Thank you Beltane, I think this may help you also. One of the academy girls is trying to deal with a date rape and he is too in his own way. He's a good boy; he just listened to the wrong people. All the girls are aware that there will be two with histories among the husbands and boyfriends. You won't be the only one that may get frowned at."

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"Sam, please tell Daniel that wearing this won't get him stared at? I've recently seen this hat on your television," Beltane placed the aforementioned hat on his head.

"Sam, tell him that fedoras are not in fashion, the film he saw was from a different century," Daniel protested while still wearing the hat.

"I don't know…you look adorable in it. Who knows, maybe being the talk of the supermarket may get you a date." Sam smiled at them as she lead them out of the house to go shopping.

The Tok'ra were harder to find than anticipated. It had been over seven months since Beltane and Daniel blended and life had begun to get back to normal. Every weekend on earth found the science twins introducing Beltane to a new dish. Sometimes it was from a restaurant but other times it was a trip to the market and an evening cooking. Beltane had become fascinated with earth cuisine, so Daniel and Sam indulged him as often as they could. Sometimes, the food was a new experience for all three of them, and other times the cooking ended up in disaster.

The table had been set and they succeeded in their attempt at a simple Italian spinach manicotti recipe. The shells had been stuffed to the brim, Beltane had found a love for all things dairy, and the red sauce had just the right amount of seasoning. They conversed about everything under the sun, like always, and Sam felt carefree. She risked a bit more flirtation than usual and couldn't help herself when a bit of sauce lingered on his face. She reached towards him and Daniel caught her hand.

"What are you doing?" Daniel took in a breath.

"You have a bit of sauce," Sam said softly and freed her hand. She cleaned it off with her thumb and Daniel leaned in. The kiss was tender, his lips barely touching hers. Sam closed her eyes and was just about to increase the pressure when Daniel bolted up.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." Daniel stuttered as he bolted out the door.

"Good going Sam," Sam muttered to the ceiling.

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"I can't believe I just did that." Daniel paced in his house and said out loud.

Do you not care for Sam?

"Yes, I love her but she is with Jack, isn't she?" Daniel began to question.

Why not ask her?"

"I can't just go and say: 'Hey Sam, are you dating Jack?'"

Why not? It isn't a cultural taboo on earth to ask a female of her social status as far as I can tell.

"And why would I be asking her a question like that?" Daniel exclaimed. "If I do then she may think I'm interested in dating her."

But we ARE interested in pursuing her.

"Oh yeah, and she can just laugh in our face, or worst, pity me. Sam doesn't feel that way for me... us."

I think your neighbors will begin to think you have "lost it" if you keep talking to yourself aloud

"Who cares? If they mention it I'll say I was on the phone." Daniel huffed and sat down.

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Daniel avoided Sam after the kiss, pretending to be too caught up with work to deal with food. Sam didn't push, she let him have his space, and for that he was grateful.

Sam had to go off world to help a team disarm a tomb defense system and Daniel was able to relax bit. There was a knock on his office door and when he looked up he saw Jack standing there. He tried to beg off from being dragged to the commissary but Jack would have none of that. He even got Beltane to help him out in getting Daniel to admit he didn't have as much work as he kept saying he did. Without having a decent reason to turn him down after that Daniel sullenly went to eat. As he sat down they were joined by a female from the Pentagon. When Jack dropped the bomb shell that he was moving in with her Daniel lost it. He took a swing at Jack without warning. Beltane flared to life and took control, refusing to let Daniel go until he calmed down.

"Jeez, what is his problem?" Jack asked as he rubbed his jaw.

"Daniel is a bit upset. He was under the impression you and Sam had a relationship," Beltane supplied.

"Sam turned me down. I asked her out when I left the SGC but she said she knew what she wanted now and though she didn't want Pete, she didn't want me either. What does it matter anyways, it isn't like you..." Jack's voice trailed off as he realized the truth. "You love her don't you?"

"Yes, we do," Beltane answered.

Jack looked them over silently for a moment. "Hope you have better luck with her then I did. You deserve it."

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That night the dreams came back for Daniel. Instead of just one punch Daniel was striking Jack several times. His hands came away bloody as the face of Jack was seen on the body of Lucius. Sam replaced Rocha under him and Daniel woke up covered in sweat.

He continued to avoid Sam when she came back, but he couldn't shake the dreams at night. At least, Jack wasn't in them anymore, though Sam still was. Sometimes they were like his normal fantasies, hot and passionate, but other times it was close to Beltane's memories. What scared Daniel the most was he wasn't repulsed by them anymore.

Am I becoming Belial? Daniel questioned one night.

No Daniel.

But I wake up wanting those dreams to be real Beltane. I want her under me, begging me, screaming my name. Daniel hung his head

And you feel guilt cause of those desires. That is what makes you different. Belial didn't. He basked in the memories. He didn't feel guilty about his actions.

Thank you Beltane, Daniel said as he fell back asleep.

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The day had started out as a routine recon mission. It was their first mission together since the kiss and dreams started. The planet was uninhabited, building standing unharmed the only evidence civilization existed here once. There wasn't even any wild life that they could see; whatever destroyed the people obviously took its toll on them as well. The vegetation flourished without the predation.

"Well Daniel, which way first?" Cam asked. "It's your playground."

"How about that one with the dome on it."

"I'll stay here and collect soil samples." Sam pointed to the ground.

"You just don't want to walk through all this grass." Cam stated.

"I'm game for the temple," Vala's eyes twinkled.

"Let's go," Cam walked point and called back. "Teal'c you stay with Carter."

The walls of the building were covered in art, each wall depicted in colors that that were vibrant and lively. Vala touched a bright blue stone and tried to pry it loose. Daniel fell to the ground.

"Sam, get in here," Cam called over the radio. "NOW!"

By the time Sam reached Daniel he was balled up. Every few minutes a wave of convulsions passed through him.

"Daniel," Sam kneeled beside him and cradled his head. "Beltane what is happening."

"I think this place had something protecting it. Some sort of anti-Goa'uld technology. I..." He paused in pain. "I don't think Daniel will die if I let go but he won't allow it. He is being stubborn, he doesn't want me to let go and is fighting me," Beltane said through the pain. "Knock him out, please. I can't do this if he is consciously fighting. Sam, please. I love you; I'm in love with you. Help me save him."

"Daniel I...Beltane don't go!" Sam looked into his eyes and saw the resignation. She cried as she zatted Daniel. After a few moments, when Daniel stilled from the convulsions, he was bathed in a white light. The light rose and rose until it passed through the roof.

"Did Beltane just ascend?" Cam asked over Sam's shoulder.

"I think so," Daniel replied groggily. He turned to Sam. "You zatted me."

"You were dying Daniel, you stubborn, pig headed..." She hugged him tightly.

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"How you feeling?" Sam asked as she walked into his office.

"Sam," Daniel looked up startled. "I miss him. It has only been a few hours but his absence is making me feel really empty inside," he admitted.

"I miss him too," Sam leaned on his desk and looked down at him.

"I think I understand why your father chose to die with Selmak. I feel so lost and alone, I don't think I will ever be complete again."

"Daniel, it will be okay," Sam leaned over and hugged him. She stroked circles on his back as he cried. When he was cried out, she felt his lips touch her skin. The raw emotions pouring through his voice as he muttered in between kisses, 'I love you'. She knew Beltane kept to himself and let Daniel live his life when people were around, he only really came out in her presence and she was Daniel's only real connection to the symbiote now. She met Daniel's lips with her own, with her kiss she tried to tell Daniel that she understood and was there for him. She wouldn't ask for more than what he could give.

When Daniel realized what he was doing he pulled away mortified. "I'm sorry Sam; I didn't mean to force myself on you."

"It's okay Daniel, I get it. You are grieving and I'm the only real connection to Beltane you have. He also apparently fell in love with me and the remnants of those emotions are probably confusing you. I know you don't really have any feelings for me as Daniel, and I don't expect you to. I don't expect you to return my feelings but I'm hoping we can work through them."

"Sam, I...your feelings?" Daniel asked as realization hit him. "You have feelings for me?"

"I thought you knew. I thought that was why you ran away from our first kiss; you were uncomfortable when I kissed you and didn't want to hurt my feelings," Sam pointed out matter-of-factly.

"Uncomfortable? Sam, I wasn't uncomfortable, I was afraid you thought I kissed you. I was afraid of what I would do if I didn't stop."

"I thought Beltane was the only one who liked me more than a friend and you were confused by his feelings."

"Sam," Daniel placed his hand over hers. "I've wanted to be more than your friend since before Beltane blended with me."

"Really?"

"Really."

Sam smiled and beamed. "So, you still up for cooking?"

"Definitely," Daniel reached over and kissed her for real this time. They felt a breeze go past and Daniel knew he was doing the right thing as the feeling of emptiness lifted. No fear permeated within him, no guilt, only peace. Daniel knew for certain that Beltane was happy for him and he could move on without hesitation.

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TESSA stands for Trust, Education, Safety, Support, and Action. It is Colorado Springs organization for rape victims, domestic violence, and child abuse.

If you live in Colorado Springs and need help, please call. (719) 633 - 3819.