Hi! Another story from me. Beta'd by the amazing Radar-Rox. Please review!
Sitting behind the till of the Nabootique on a beautiful Midsummer night Howard sighed, feeling his happiness slide away from him. He had felt so happy telling Vince how he felt; it took such a weight from his shoulders, and after hearing Vince had felt the same Howard finally felt like everything was right at last. It was lovely and perfect and nothing would ever ruin it.
But, with contemplation he had started to worry about the relationship. After all, what did he know about being in a relationship? He didn't know what to do, and surely Vince wouldn't put up with his inept seduction for long. He liked jazz - people who liked jazz didn't have sex. They just tooted on a French horn till the urge went away.
What happened now? In stories it ended on happily ever after, no-one ever told you what happened afterwards. Maybe Prince Charming had commitment issues, who knew? Should he be making a note on the calendar of future anniversaries? Will he be required to attend gay pride this year? Could he still call Vince a titbox?
Howard walked briskly up the stairs after closing up the shop and walked smack into Vince coming out of the bathroom, calming as he felt Vince's arm steady him. This calmness faded as he tried to ignore the rivets of water slowly running down Vince's chest. Howard made himself recite the Countryside Code in his head; he had just got to always closing a gate behind you when he felt a cool hand against his forehead.
Vince anxiously peered into his face, 'Are you alright Howard? You feel a bit hot and you look a bit dazed'. It's because you're in A TOWEL screamed Howard's brain.
Howard just shook his head and croaked out 'Fine. Fine.'
'Sure?' asked Vince, cupping Howard's cheek, 'I'll play Nurse' he added, grinning.
Howard's brain thought about this and offered him an upside down anatomical diagram and a man slowly shaking his head in pity. Howard muttered something about a documentary on Industrial Bebop and ran back downstairs.
Pressing his head to the shop window he sighed. Something had to change. He walked outside, feeling the cool night air on his face; he breathed in and tried to organise his thoughts. Ignoring the moon's lunatic ramblings he glanced sideways, seeing Naboo chat to a golden-faced man- quite handsome actually – and he nodded to them both.
Turning and perching himself on the window ledge he felt his heart sink. It wasn't right was it? Vince deserved better, someone more confident, a real man of action who didn't run away at the very suggestion of sex or intimacy. After deciding that the situation will probably sort itself out, rationalising that Vince would surely dump him soon, Howard tried not to feel heartbroken; it will be okay he told himself. Everything will go back to before. But, a little voice told him, it would be worse. Because you will known what it was like to be with the one you love; and you lost him. Placing his head in his hands Howard made a small noise of unhappiness.
After a particularly sombre Jazz trance Howard paused on the stairs, hearing Vince and Bollo talking inside the kitchen, turned away from him. He could only hear parts of the conversation but it didn't take him long to figure out what they were talking about. 'All awkward' he heard Vince say. 'Oh' thought Howard, colouring. That must have been because of the other day. Feeling impulsive he had kissed the nape of Vince's neck as Vince was bent over the fridge, but Vince has jumped in fright, leaving Howard embarrassed and feeling stupid. Not wanting to hear anymore Howard moved down the stairs again, to go for a walk, head bowed.
'So' Vince continued, oblivious, 'I just feel like it's too much for me to take, I love him so much and yet I keep getting scared.'
Bollo shook his head, muttering, 'Howard dumb. You not be scared.'
'No he's not' laughed Vince, 'He's genius; and when he kisses me...it's amazing. I just want to kiss him all the time.' Bollo shifted uncomfortably as Vince continued sadly. 'It's me…He's realised I'm just Vince, everything before was just sparkle'. Bollo shook his head again in disbelief, patted Vince's shoulder and moved off to talk to Naboo. Surely Naboo could sort something out.
Later Howard walked into the flat, and finding it silent he called out hesitantly. When no reply came he figured they had gone out, probably to a club. Without him. Howard signed and moved towards his and Vince's room, he pushed open the door and gasped.
The room's lighting was soft and inviting, with pretty silver candles flickering and Vince's fairy lights twinkling. A small cough alerted Howard to Vince, who was perched, slightly awkwardly, on the bed.
'Um' said Howard, feeling confused, 'this is pretty.'
'Yeah' murmured Vince, picking anxiously at the duvet; Naboo had decorated the room as a surprise, smiling coyly as he and Bollo left the flat to Vince and Howard for the night. Now Vince just felt embarrassed of it all.
Howard felt his legs propel him towards Vince; he didn't understand why the room had to be romantically decorated for Vince to break up with him. Vince looked up, breathed out and tugged Howard's hand, pulling him to sit on the bed next to him. 'We need to talk' said Vince evenly and even though Howard knew this was coming he still felt slightly dizzy and a wave of sadness hit him. 'I'm sorry,' started Vince.
'I know' said Howard quickly, 'It's my fault, don't be sorry. I knew it wouldn't last.'
Vince looked up at Howard in confusion, 'What are you talking about?' he said. 'You didn't do anything'. Howard's heart hurt even more at Vince's kindness. Lovely Vince who, even after a week of Howard's awkward attentions, was still trying to protect his feelings. 'I mean' continued Howard, 'you're you and I'm me.'
Vince went cold. Howard knew, Howard had realised he was only Vince with glitter. He saw the real me and now he's leaving, Vince thought, crushed.
'You're so special and wonderful' said Howard, looking away, 'and you deserve someone like you' he continued, turning bright red, 'someone who isn't some…jazzy virgin. I just hope you'll still be my friend.' Vince was frantically replaying this in his head, unable to understand.
'What are you talking about?' He shouted, standing up. 'It's me, I thought you were coming to break up with me' gesturing towards the ceiling in frustration, Vince stopped to look at Howard, who was blinking rapidly in shock.
'So' said Howard finally, 'we were both scared', looking up he reached for Vince and tugged him onto his lap, needing the contact. 'It's just been overwhelming' said Howard quietly, feeling Vince frown against his cheek as he explained, 'not in a bad way, the best way, its like getting anything you've ever wanted, but not having the manual.'
Vince nodded slowly, 'It's just I've wanted to be with you since…well forever' he started, smiling as Howard bent down to kiss his cheek, 'but I've been so worried about disappointing you, after how long it took for us to be together properly.'
'At least that makes sense' laughed Howard quietly, 'I had that but I also kept worrying about silly things, like you seeing me' he paused, 'without clothes'.
Vince laughed at his embarrassment, 'But its not like you wear much clothes anyway' he teased, hearing Howard's indignant squeak, 'just look at your wilderness utility shorts.'
'Those Sir' admonished Howard sternly, making Vince shiver, 'are extremely practical, not to mention flattering.'
'I didn't say they weren't flattering' said Vince, twisting and kissing Howard softly, 'Just a bit', he nuzzled his jaw, 'short.'
After kissing languorously for a while Vince pulled away. 'There is no need to be embarrassed about it, you know' he said softly, 'I mean yeah…I've slept with people before' said Vince, dropping his gaze to the floor 'but I wasn't, he paused, going pink 'wasn't in love with them.'
'Oh Vince' said Howard feeling his heart swell and trying to stop himself doing a little dance of happiness.
Instead he pulled Vince to him and placed soft kisses all over his face. Vince laughed and fell back onto his elbows and looked up at Howard through his fringe, 'I can wait Howard' he said earnestly, 'I mean, I really, really want to' he smiled longingly, 'but waiting is fine.'
Howard didn't know quite what to say to this but his anxiety had faded; talking about his fears had made him feel more confident in his ability to make Vince happy. As Vince blinked up at him Howard felt butterflies in his stomach as he realised that he didn't want to wait anymore; he checked with his brain and the diagram had disappeared, the man from before was now grinning inanely, and making a lewd gesture. 'Well' he began awkwardly, because some things never change, 'I feel better for telling you how I feel anyway' he shifted onto his other knee, 'I was just, you know, scared you wouldn't want to be with me anymore.'
Vince laughed at this and shook his head, sitting up straight, 'that's what I thought' he said, 'I thought you didn't fancy me anymore'. Howard raised an eyebrow at this but let Vince continue, 'I was really worried, I mean, I thought you expected me to be all confident and experienced…' Vince faltered, turning around slightly 'but I don't know how to be in a proper relationship, I'm learning too'. Vince remembered being hideously embarrassed at his fright when Howard had gently kissed his neck when he was trying to find his sherbet dib-dab the other day; he must have seemed so stupid.
Howard moved back so his back was resting on the pillows and realised he was looking fondly on Vince, whose head was tilted and looked dazed. Maybe it's just about trusting the other person, he thought, knowing they won't leave you, or hurt you. Maybe that's all you can ask because you're so lucky to have found them.
This realisation propelled Howard to move forward and begin kissing Vince gently on the back of his neck, like before. This time Vince didn't jump, he just leaned backwards into Howard and made a quiet noise that Howard had to bend his head to hear. It was a sigh. Howard pushed Vince's hair back, kissed his neck again and spoke quietly in his ear, 'Well, I wouldn't want to waste the candles' he said, kissing just below his ear. Vince stilled then slowly turned around to face Howard, and upon seeing Howard's adorably flushed face smiled, 'Oh' he said, pausing again then moving so his mouth was next to Howard's ear this time, puncturing his words with kisses around it, 'Are you going to show me what a Man of Action you are then' he teased.
With a laugh Howard felt himself relax. It's just us, like always – but better he thought.
'Or' continued Vince, inclining his head and looking up at Howard with a cheeky grin. 'You could come at me like a ray…' As he trailed off Howard felt himself get hot. He didn't just want this now, he needed it. Vince went to move backwards but Howard held onto his waist and moved him closer, this time moving his own mouth to Vince's, murmuring softly 'You cheeky minx. Get in my wheelbarrow'.
Please Review! x
