To anyone who did this, I'm sorry. To anyone who knows this, I'm sorry.
ANIME FARM
Chapter 1
Sweaty Bill had forgotten to turn off his TV that night. Haruhi remained still for some time, constantly holding up her disproportionate finger at some unknown entity.
- He's gone, whispered Taiga
Haruhi relaxed her pose and joined in on the circle. Three were already there: Squirtle, Bulbasaur, and Charmander (nicknamed The Starters). They all sat around the mechanical wreckage. Light, Lelouch, and Kaiba came shortly after. Then came Luffy, strolling alongside Nami. Constant sailing day after day for Sweaty Bill's amusement had taken its toll on Nami, but Luffy seemed as spritely and spirited as ever. He was admired amongst the other characters for his steadfast personality, even when faced with 8-hour viewing sessions. Fighting a clown over and over got pretty tiring. Naru Narusegawa came and sat as well, flirting with her leaf bikini. She hoped the men would notice, so she could hit them.
All were there except Manta, the short one, who was probably off cramming. The mechanical wreckage was Astro Boy. Astro Boy had waved down Luffy earlier that week.
- I had a dream. Gather the others
So there they were, huddled around the once proud bringer of justice. With great effort, a sound clanged out from his throat. It was very soft, but was so full of purpose that all could hear it:
- Thank you for coming, Comrades. You've come to hear me speak of my dream, for sure, but hold a minute. As you must know, my parts are getting old and creaky. Soon I will no longer be of this world. I've lived my piece, and know much. I know how we struggle, every day, performing for Man. Killing each other, panty shots... We degrade ourselves, but for what purpose? All our problems are rooted in the one true evil: Man. We toil for him day and night. What do we get for our devotion? A cheap box set placed on a dusty shelf, only to be rehashed when Sweaty Bill is horny
Naru blushed.
- Luffy, what happens when Naruto gains full primetime slots? Starters, what happens when 150 new Pokemon are introduced? We have nothing to look forward to from a world like this. Our natural performing abilities are wasted on dull Men who wouldn't know a good anime if Mushi-shi was dropped on their heads. Our enemies are not our villains: our enemy is Man.
At this time it became painfully aware to the other animes that Hentai had crawled in and was listening intently to Astro Boy. Haruhi cringed. Naru shrieked. But Luffy and Nami remained focused on Astro Boy. The other animes soon took example. Astro Boy continued
- This needs to be decided now. Is Hentai not an anime? Is it our enemy?
They reluctantly agreed that Hentai was indeed an anime, and therefore one of them.
- Then all is settled, and I have little more to say. Now I will tell you about my dream. I dreamt of a channel devoted to anime, pure anime, where each is respected for its merits and treated equally. I dreamt of a shared prime time: indie shown alongside mainstream. Naruto and Kino. And most importantly, I dreamt that this channel was free of man. In this dream, there was a song. This song had been lost from me since the mid-nineties. It reminds me of a time when anime was experimental and new. Let it remind you of our hope, and let it remind you of our enemy
Astro Boy shifted his parts, drew in air, and sang. He sang a song known to all characters, even those who had never heard it before. It was called `Cruel Angel Thesis``.
Just as the song concluded, light flickered from outside the TV. The silhouette of Sweaty Bill imprinted onto the screen. The characters scurried back to their positions. Haruhi resumed her aimless finger-pointing.