Warning, violence ahead.
Get your tissues ready, babes.
.:.
His heart thundered heavily in his chest in a near painful fashion – once, twice, thrice more before seizing and stilling, climbing its way into his throat as time halted around him. Ice pierced his veins, fear taking such a strong hold on him he was sure he'd choke to death long before any Orc or Goblin claimed his life with arrow or blade. His fair eyes, bluer than the skies of Spring or Summer, widened as he watched helplessly, the most terrible and gut-wrenching of scenes play out before him.
Seven to one, Kili was outnumbered, battling tirelessly against the horde of Goblins advancing on him and their fallen uncle, protecting Thorin with all the weary strength of his body.
Fili surged forward, making to move across the field to where his family were fighting and haphazardly sticking his sword into whatever beast dare to impede his way. Never before had he felt such a rush of panic nor adrenaline, his blood was heating and roaring loudly in his ears with the effects as he ran faster and harder than he had in all his years, desperate to place himself between the encroaching, dangerous hand of death and his brother. He had, after all, promised their mother no harm would come to him.
Impatience bested him as his sword plunged into the thick though bony hide of a Warg and he left it, pulling his second blade from his back almost mechanically and hacking off the skull of a Goblin. Fili was so close now, so extremely close that he could see the crimson of Thorin's blood pooling from a knife wound in his side, from beneath two arrows lodged in his thigh and chest as well as make out the honey colour of Kili's eyes, immediately finding the repressed fear mingling in their depths. For a brief moment it seemed time blurred as it resumed around him, quickening as Fili paused to fight off an Orc and hastily cutting it down into a mass of black, oozing blood and twitching limbs at his feet. His eyes once more sought out his brother's, locking with them from across the small expanse separating them and it was then that the world tilted, tingeing his sight in black darkness and all consuming red.
His ears had somehow gleamed the sound of arrows releasing from just a bit to the left of where Kili was standing before he ever saw them but before he could blink an eye, Fili saw his sibling fall to the ground, an agonising scream ripping away from his throat. Fili was running again, the last of his weapons tossed to the ground as he made haste to where his brother lay.
"Kili," he whispered in a voice that could not have been his own – he'd never sounded so broken before. Carefully he pulled his brother into his lap, resting his head high on his thigh and stroking bits of Kili's matted brown hair from his face. "Stay with me."
.:.
Fire ripped through Kili's chest as Fili pulled the three arrows from their mark, ribbons of his blood cutting across the leather of his coat as it began to pour freely. The flames spread further as he coughed, his breath rattling awfully in his lungs as he attempted to gulp it in, to delay death. It was of no use for as soon as he pulled in the air, another fit of coughs seized him. The taste of rust and iron invaded his mouth and scarlet smeared across his lips and cheeks as he tried to spit his blood out, more of it seeping up his throat and spilling from his nose as well.
His hand, still firmly grasping his bow, shot out and Kili pressed the weapon into his brother's arms. "Protect him, Fili. He must not meet the same fate as I." His words were garbled, horribly wet and breathless sounding all at the same time, but he could see understanding dawn in Fili's beryl orbs, mingling with the despair and sorrow swirling there.
Fili pitifully shook his head, his blond braids swaying with the jerky motion. "Don't speak as such, brother, you will not die," he replied fiercely but Kili was not fooled, he could hear the woe in his intonation.
His hand moved once more, reaching upward to rest against his brother's cheek, his thumb swiping a stray tear from his now watery eyes. "You must let me go, brother. I've no fear nor qualms with death for I have served my king but I will die for my family. I may yet be accepted as a hero." He attempted to smile but found it impossibly difficult as his body was wracked again with red stained coughs. Fili's hand wrapped around his own, holding it firmer to his face, their eyes clashing – topaz to sapphire – and conveying unspoken tidings of love and affection.
.:.
A strangled cry wrenched itself from Fili's lips as he watched the light in Kili's eyes fade away as though it were the flame of a candle being stubbed out. Tears cascaded like rivers down his cheeks as he cried unabashedly, fat droplets splattering against his brother's face. His brother's lifeless face.
Pain was flowering inside him, blooming throughout his entire being as heartbreak settled in his bones. Never again would he laugh with Kili, caution him against a rash action or decision, listen to him apologise to their mother or uncle for yet again landing himself in trouble or for saying something without giving his words full thought, never would he see his brother's smile light up his dark features ever again.
It was unbearable and he so badly wanted to close his eyes, open them once again, and find this all to be some hellish creation of his mind – the very blackest of nightmares. He wanted to be a child again, peering at the swaddled bundle in his mother's arms and curiously reaching out to feel the patch of nearly black hair that was spilling over the blankets hiding his newborn brother's face from his sight. More than anything, Fili wanted to hear Kili's voice the way it was supposed to be. Not the hardly discernible gurgling wheeze it had just been but the honey covered velvet it he so enjoyed.
But he wouldn't and Fili just could not wrap his mind around such a thought.
The sounds of the battle happening around him slowly began to pierce through the tunnel of silence that had encompassed him, the sound of burbling making him stiffen. Turning his head, Fili met the blue eyes of Thorin Oakenshield, of his uncle as he slowly began to awaken, and was instantly filled with purpose. If his brother had died protecting their bloodline, his sacrifice would not be in vain.
His fingers tightly wound themselves around the smooth curve of Kili's bow as he deftly slid his sibling's corpse from his lap, careful with his movements as to not further mar him. Grabbing the trio of arrows he'd plucked from Kili, he stood just in front of where his mother's brother lie. "You will be a hero, my brother, and I shall see you once more," he promised heatedly, his voice wavering only slightly.
He loosed one arrow, taking deep satisfaction as it burrowed into the head of a Goblin. Another arrow found its home in the heart of an Orc. As for Fili's final shot, he took aim against a rather large Orc – the final one as far as he could see – striking it between the eyes. But he had not been quick enough. As he sneered sinisterly, the Orc crashed to the bloodied earth beneath him, his arm firing out with his blade and catching Fili in the chest.
No fear seeped into his veins as his knees buckled and no desperate attempts of prolonging his life were made. Fili simply surrendered, content in his knowledge that the battle was over and that he had given his life to keep his kin safe, to see that his king survived.
He would be reunited with his brother.
.:.
OHMAHGAWD. I'M SORRY.
Why do I do this to myself? To you guys? Better question; why the actual fuck does my brain think this is at all okay?!
MY FEELS CAN'T TAKE THIS, BRAIN. STAHP.
So, I'm off to cry in a corner and hope to hell that no one tries to kill me for writing this. But really, I'm just going to go rip out my heart because I'm just not equipped for this kind of torment.
-TS.