I sat at my desk completely annoyed with everyone and everything. I was mad at Ana, mad at Dr. Greene, mad at myself, mad at the world. She's pregnant. I'm going to be a father. She let this happen. I'm nowhere near ready for this, and she's thrown it on me. Why are you blaming her? It's her that should be mad at you my subconscious whispered. I slammed my fist against my desk. She has every right to be angry with me. The way I reacted last night was uncalled for. She's going through this too, and I've left her alone in this. I sighed, and run a hand through my hair. You're an idiot, Grey. I have to fix it. I have to make it right, but how? I ran out on her, I went and saw Elena and she found out. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I did two things I promised I wouldn't ever do. She's going to leave you. I shake my head, on my feet now, pacing. No. She wouldn't leave. She's promised a hundred times over that she wouldn't leave, but would that stop her? After what I've done to her, why would she want to stay? She hates me, no doubt. I don't blame her. I'd hate me too. God, Grey… You're a fuckin' idiot. My heart is telling me to go to her, but… I have no guarantee she'll be there. She's probably packing her things now. She'll be gone by dinner time. My intercom buzzed in, halting me in place.
"Mr. Grey?" Andrea's voice fills my room.
"What?" I snapped.
"There's a call on line two. It's the bank, sir."
"Put it through." I snarled.
"Hello?" I snapped as the call came in.
"Hello Mr. Grey, I'm calling on behalf of your wife. She's just requested to withdraw a large sum of money. We're just going to need you're okay before we can process the transaction." The voice said. I automatically flew to my desk, picking up the receiver.
"My wife? Mrs. Anastasia Grey?" My heart was sinking further and further into my stomach. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening.
"Yes sir." He said. It is happening. She's leaving. She's taking the money, and she's running. I sat there, staring at the glider on my desk. I knew it would come to this. I knew she'd run. She should have run long ago. Why didn't she run? Because she loves you, Grey. If she loved me, she wouldn't be running, right? What the fuck is going on? My heart is pounding in my chest. "Sir?" Tears are threatening to leak down my face now.
"Can I speak to her?" I murmured, trying to make it sound like I'm okay.
"Of course sir, one moment." He said. It's silent for a few minutes, before her voice comes over the phone.
"Hi." She murmured softly. She's nervous. I wanted to break down sobbing, but I refrained. I have to know what's going on.
"You're leaving me?" My words come out strangled and sounding of nothing but pure agony. I am in agony. The one person I let myself love, the one person I give 'more' to is taking my money and running.
"No!" She said quickly. Lies. She's lying to me. There's silence before her voice comes over the phone again. "Yes." I couldn't help the gasp that left my lips. Pain shoots straight through me, shaking me to my core.
"Ana, I-." My words are choked off by the sob that follows. My hand tightens around my phone, almost snapping it in half.
"Christian, please. Don't." She's fighting back tears. I can hear it in her voice. Why the hell are you crying? You're leaving me my head screams at me. I want to say it, but the pain I feel stops me.
"You're going?" I asked.
"Yes." She murmured again. Then, the question I had to ask left my lips before I could even stop it.
"But why the cash? Was it always the money?" Tears are rolling down my face now. There's a short silence before she answers.
"No." She said. I believe her instinctively. I knew how she was about spending my money.
"Is five million enough?" I asked. The woman was breaking my heart and stomping on it right here on the phone, and yet here I was, concerned about whether she had enough. Why the fuck do I care? Because you love her, dumb ass.
"Yes."
"And the baby?" I asked, breathlessly. My voice is nothing but an echo now. Something I hadn't wanted anything to do with was now one of my main concerns. My child.
"I'll take care of the baby." She murmured. Of course she will. She'll take care of him or her and make them the most amazing person on this planet, just like herself.
"This is what you want?" Why am I asking this? Let her tear me up a little more why don't you. She hesitated before answering. Why was she hesitating? If she wanted to leave so damn bad, why wasn't she screaming at me, yelling at me? Making me feel like the worthless man that I was? Because she loves you, dumb ass.
"Yes." She said, her voice barely even audible. Why the fuck do I try? Why do I care? She was all I ever wanted. Anastasia Steele stumbled into my office and flipped my world upside down, and now she was ripping it right out from underneath me. This is why I like control. This… this I can't control. This pain she's causing, I can't control it. Why the fuck was I stupid enough to let her in? Nothing even matters anymore. If she's gone, I'm alone again. I'm nothing.
"Take it all." I hissed, surprised by my words because I meant them. If she wanted the money, she could have it. I just wanted her. That was all I wanted.
"Christian." She sobbed hard, causing my breathing to catch. "It's for you. For your family. Please. Don't." She's begging now, which isn't something I'm unfamiliar with. For my family? What the hell does that mean? My heart and head ache of loss already.
"Take it all, Anastasia." I snapped. If I can't have her, then the rest of it's pointless. The money, the apartment, the house, the cars, all of it. She can take it all. I don't want it. I can hear her sobbing on the other end of the phone. My head hurts and my chest aches of the loss I feel.
"I'll always love you." My voice is hoarse as I slam the phone back into the receiver. The moment she can no longer hear me, the sobs rock my body, taking over. I have to stop this. She can't walk out on me like this. I stand to walk to the door, to go to the bank, to her, but the moment I'm on my feet, my legs buckle and I crumble to the floor. I go from being fifty shades of fucked up to fifty-one shades of fucked up all in a matter of a few months.