I had only come because of Starr. Like her name, she seemed brighter than the others my age. She was the same age but she had prettier skin, prettier eyes, prettier hair - everything about her was prettier than me.
That's why I had come. Starr said we were going to heaven. As a child, I'd always heard in heaven they'd accept you no matter if you were ugly. And if we were going to heaven, really I was sure they were going to accept me.
She parked her red convertible in front of a beautiful mansion. There was a fountain in the front lawn. I could hear blasting music from outside. I wondered if the neighbors even noticed.
She got out and began to walk up the stone path. At the first step, she stopped and turned around. The wind blew her honey-colored hair in front of her face.
"Are you coming?"
I nodded and slammed the door behind me. I followed her into the house. A good-looking guy wearing jeans and an unbuttoned t-shirt greeted us. He seemed friendly and knew Starr right away. They began to laugh together.
"Who's your friend?"
He pointed to me, grinning. Starr wrapped her arm around my waist and said my name, rolling it off her tongue like she did with everything she said. He winked at me, and pulled us into a large room. I was sure it was the living room. There was a large screen TV in the middle. A huge crowd of people, some my age and some older, were sitting around, laughing. I wanted to laugh, too.
I sat down next to Starr. We were passed some bowl. Starr and Auz, which was the name of the boy; I don't remember how I found out, told me to inhale it.
I did. I became dizzy quickly and I saw colors and people laughing - the same people but they looked stranger, odder. Weirder.
Starr told me this was heaven, so I believed her.
*~*~*
I came back time and time again.
Heaven became more beautiful each time. I tried out different types of heaven, the rose pricking which involved a needle and some others. But the inhaling was the only type of heaven I liked.
Sometimes, Starr didn't come. I got Auz's phone number and sometimes he picked me up. Sometimes, heaven wasn't always at his house. Sometimes it was at some kid's house. I didn't know the others very well.
Auz sometimes took me to a room, where it would be just us. In the beginning, I felt uncomfortable, like he was expecting something from...of me. Sometimes, we just laid there; breathing in heaven and sometimes we tried to talk over the loud music. Sometimes we made out.
I didn't have feelings for him in the beginning. Nope, to me he was just Starr's friend that I was fooling around with. As time went on, I realized he was sexy and I liked his deep voice and how he always wore jeans and an unbuttoned shirt and especially how he brought me to heaven.
Sometimes, I couldn't reach Auz or Starr.
And those times, heaven had to wait. I didn't like I had to wait for heaven. I missed it and the happiness it gave me. I felt welcomed in heaven. People liked me and they didn't like me much here.
*~*~*
The next time I went to heaven, Auz and Starr and I went to Auz's house. There was a bigger group of people, more faces I didn't know. We went into the living room and had some heaven. I went into the kitchen to get a drink of something I don't remember what. Some people were smoking in there, they were flicking their lighters. They were joking around and lighting some papers, hanging on the 'fridge, on fire. The next thing I knew people screaming and I smelt burning.
I woke up in a white room. There was a woman with blonde curls staring at me.
"She's awake."
That was the first thing I heard. The woman had a soft voice, almost like an angel's. I didn't care that I was awake; I wanted to know where Starr and Auz were. They were what mattered. They were what got me to heaven. They were my angels.
I tried to open my mouth to ask where my angels were, but no sound came out. I wanted to make a noise but I couldn't.
"Oh baby, daddy and I were so worried about you."
Mom. She was crying, and hugging me and crying. She was crying and I wished she'd stop. 'Daddy and I were so worried about you'-what a load of crap. She never cared before that I was going with Starr or Auz. Nope, didn't care one bit. Only person who probably cared was my brother, but he wasn't even here.
"Why did this have to happen?" Mom asks. "Why to my baby?"
The blonde angel - a nurse I realized - nodded. "At least, Mrs. McGee, at least she didn't end up like her two friends."
Mom nodded and wiped a tear from her cheek. She weakly smiled at me, tracing my cheek with her index finger.
"I suppose… but still this isn't much better." Mom sighed.
What happened to Starr and Auz? Oh God, were they dead? Were they alright? A million thoughts ran through my about my two friends. I closed my eyes and hoped to never wake up.
*~*~*