Pinstripe Suit

(for lack of a better title)

(By The Pookster)

Merry's Longing But Doubting Vinca's Jealous But Resigned Eglantine's Happy But Terrified Frodo's Happy But Wanting

Illustrations: *sigh* No Illustrations *looks pointfully at the illustrators she knows* BTW, you should all go to , because it is heaven on the webbernet. Mmmm porny hobbit goodness.

Email: obsessive_creature@hotmail.com

Summary: These are snippets from Merry's, Vinca's, Eglantine's, and Frodo's points of view on their various views of the very beginnings of Merry & Pippin's relationship. And by relationship I mean *nudge nudge wink wink* Kind of relationship, so if you are a slash-hater, go away. Flames will be used to warm up the dead engine of my mother's car.

Warning: Implied slash, nothing else really, other than it's rather angsty at some parts.

Archiving: Ask first

Disclaimer: I own: myself, two guitars, a tape of a WB LotR special (THANK YOU ADA!!!) and Lord Of The Rings- oh, no wait. scratch that last one. DON'T OWN IT!!!!!

Rating: PG-13

Chapter: 1/1

Pairing: Merry/Pippin, but nothing happens between them, sorry no porny goodness. *shrug*

Feedback: Please yes, I save it all and print it off and then feel like slightly less of a loser.

Category: Romance/angst

A/N: A birthday present for EMMA! (who by the way, is totally un-old and decrepit) And you know what, my last birthday present to Emma was critisized for it not making sense, I DON'T CARE! SCREW MAKING SENSE! AARRRRRRRGH! *goes and sulks in the corner because apparently what she writes doesn't make sense* By the way, Merry is 26 in this, and Pip is 18. And Frodo's 40 but it says that. Yeah okay bye.

A/N2: Oh by the way, I'll have the beginnings of another fic by tomorrow, called 'Learning Feels Good'. Stupid Sylvan Learning Center commercial slogan... Giving me bad ideas... And it's M/P, F/S, F/P, and uhhhh yeah. Hooray for lots of porny goodness!!!!!!
MERRY
*~* "When I first saw you I was young could not control my dreaming. I looked into your eyes and found it too hard not to fall in. Tried to ignore that I wanted you then found out you wanted me more. Now it's just you and me against the world singing 1, 2, 3, 4!

*~* "Have a feeling you'll have me forever, you're just a habit and I can't give you up boy, even when you let me down.

*~* "Don't leave me alone, my fears will come creeping back and I will fall apart. Don't leave me alone, I'm weak I can't handle it I can't handle this.

*~* "You see the world a different way without you I'd be struggling. When I'm alone at night I feel that I am missing something. Tried to ignore that I needed you then found out you needed me more. Now it's just you and me and we have something worth fighting for!

*~* "Gotta believe me when I say that I need you, even though I might not say it enough boy. I'll be true as long as you." *~*

-LiveonRelease, 'Don't Leave Me Alone'

~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~

The way his eyes shine, the way his hair falls... every hour of ever day he's on my mind. I haven't thought of anyone else for months, and he doesn't even know.

My eyes follow him against my will as he playfully runs ahead of me, racing me to the creek we've sat at since we were just tiny children, plotting his sisters' dooms, but now I would go anywhere just to be with him, to look into his green eyes and imagine, just pretend that he is mine. But it's hopeless and I know it, soon he'll start noticing the lasses and chasing them around instead of spending lazy summer days like this with me.

And even if he did love me as I love him, still it couldn't be. I shudder to think of what Pa would do if he found out. The last time someone came out and said they had feelings for another of their sex, a young lass named Daisy, Pa was the head of the mob that ran her out of town.

No, it's hopeless.

So I just sit and smile at Pip's childishly innocent antics, and wait for the night, that blissful time when I can lose myself in perfect dreams where my feelings are seen as normal, I lose myself in these dreams and hold them tight in my mind when I am forced to walk through this gray realm of reality where my only color is a smile on Pippin's face.

VINCA

*~* "You're always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair you were fashionably sensitive but too cool to care." *~*

-Jewel, 'Foolish Games'

~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~

I listlessly flip through my book as the breeze throws hair in my face which I carelessly flip away. I suppose it doesn't feel cold to them, as they play out in the sunny fields, but here, in the dark shadow of the overhanging roof on the porch, it chills me to the very core of my broken heart.

I see the way he looks at my brother, every so often slipping into a dazed trance before being snapped back by Pippin's bubbly laugh, and running fast to try and catch up.

Ever since I laid my eyes on him that night when I was only 11, and he 14, ever since then I have longed to hold him in my arms... I suppose I must have seen him before then, but on that day, him making feeble attempts at being polite on his parents' orders, in his best clothes, dark eyes glowing embers in the moonlight mother insisted we ate under with only three candles to light the whole table... that night I fell in love.

But even then I knew there was something... "off" about him, and now there is no doubt in any place of my wounded soul.

Even if Pip doesn't reciprocate (though how could he resist my Merry?), I can never have him now.

The kind of love in his eyes... It's the kind that lasts forever. The kind I am doomed to have for him.

EGLANTINE

*~* "Nightingale, sing us a song of a love that once belonged. Nightingale, tell me your tale. Was your journey far too long?

*~* "Does it seem like I'm looking for an answer to questions I can't ask? I don't know which way the feather falls, or if I should blow it to the left.

*~* "All the voices are spinning around me, trying to tell me what to say. Can I fly right behind you, and you can take me away?" *~*

-Norah Jones, 'Nightingale'

~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~

I know.

I see it in their eyes.

The way they sneak glances at each other when they think no one watches.

The way Meriadoc subconsciously strokes Peregrin's hair.

The way my dear little Pippin, in return, licks his lips, seemingly without noticing.

I know.

And happy though I am for the two, a deep dear strikes my heart, for I tremble at the thought of what will become of them if another realises the thoughts that pass through their heads.

I fear for them because I remember all to well what happened when Paladin discovered me.

The dark memories I force to the corners of my mind, how he struck me and yelled at me endlessly before forcing me to marry him, and though I am grateful for my wonderful children, every day I wake next to the being that killed my one true love before my very eyes.

Oh Pip, my dear dear Pippin, I beg every moment to anyone who can hear my thoughts for that fate to never befall you or Meriadoc.

I beg for you to never live this hell.

FRODO

*~* "It was a Monday when my lover told me: 'Never pay the Reaper with love only.' What could I say to you except 'I love you,' and 'I'd give my life for yours.'

*~* "I know we are... we are the lucky ones. I know we are... we are the lucky ones. I know we are... we are the lucky ones dear.

*~* "The first time we made love I... I wasn't sober. And you told me you loved me over and over. How could I ever love another when I miss you every day? Remember the time we made love in the roses, and you took my picture in all sorts of poses? How could I ever get over you, when I'd give my life for yours?" *~*

~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~

I know I mustn't be jealous, I should be happy for them. They're growing up, and finding their feelings for each other, and I should be ecstatic for them, but oh, how I wish that I could have that as well.

40 years I have lived, and in that time no one has ever truly loved me, nor I truly loved another. And to see these two, so in love, and so unsure- it breaks my heart.

But I will- nay, I must- continue to believe that my day will come, no matter how late it will be.

Because that frail belief is the only thing keeping me alive.

For Emma.