Renji.
Abarai Renji.
Many names to choose.
Many names to pick.
Soul Reaper.
Shinigami.
Love.
He loved.
Loved and lost.
Always had.
Past.
He had a past.
Rukongai.
Souls.
Drifting.
In Soul Society.
No purpose.
Then he met her.
Black hair, blue eyes.
Adorable.
Cute.
He loved.
Loved her, always.
Would always.
From the first day, it started.
He puts his hand in his pocket, the box.
The box with the ring.
He walked.
Walked to her house.
Breaks into a run suddenly.
He gets a feeling.
Not good.
Bad.
Spirit power.
About to round a corner.
He sees her, with Kurosaki.
He was kneeling.
No.
Rukia.
Rukia looks.
Looks at the box.
The black box he's holding.
Shining inside.
A ring.
She is surprised.
She cups her hands over her mouth.
She nods excitedly, eyes shining.
"Rukia!" he thinks sadly.
Too late.
Late.
At home.
Checks his mail.
Invitation to a wedding.
Rukia…and Ichigo.
He looks.
Shocked.
Angry.
But, he goes.
To make her happy.
He'd do anything for that.
For her smile.
So,
He watches.
He watches his world crumble.
Watches as they walk down the aisle.
Watches as they cut a huge, white, iced cake.
Watches as they stuff each other's face.
Watches as they walk closer.
Watches as they kiss.
Watching.
Burns.
His heart.
His heart in pain.
His heart crying out.
His heart cries out for her.
Her, the one person who he loved.
The one person, who he had always been there for.
He watched as they kissed, the crowd cheering and smiling.
His heart wrenched in pain and sadness, hurting.
Watched as orange met black, in the wind.
Watched as they pulled away.
Watched them smile.
Smile.
He had smiled.
Smiled for her, for her.
It had always been for her.
It had always been fake, only for her.
He smiled his fake, regretful smile as rice showered down.
Watched her big blue eyes shine, happy.
Watched his brown eyes, too.
She was happy.
So was he.
His supposed friend.
Rival, too.
Only if.
Only if it was him.
Him that she was happy with.
Him that made her smile, just like now.
That made her eyes shine.
His heart beat.
Wrong.
Slowing.
Too slow.
Slowing down.
Slowing, as they kiss.
As they smile.
Less.
His heart.
Hurt less now.
Falling.
Fell into space.
Gasping.
The people.
Horrified.
He fell.
Black.
Dark.
X.
He felt.
He felt the needle.
The heart stabilizer, the medicine.
In his veins.
Smile.
Smile a fake smile.
A fake smile.
As he fingers his pocket.
Feels the leather box inside.
Feels the ring inside.
If he was earlier.
An hour.
A minute.
Just a second.
Earlier than him.
Would it be him?
Him that she chooses.
Him to walk down the aisle with.
Him to smile with, real.
A real smile.
Home.
Saved.
Heartbeat normal.
He would end it, no more pain.
He took out a blade.
Small cuts.
Wrist.
Bleeding.
His life bleeding out.
Last thoughts.
Dying wish.
One word.
Rukia.
.
.
.
.
End.