"…You won't have to worry about your destiny any more. Because I will make sure your destiny ends, right then and there. Permanently."

Zuko lay on his bed in his room, staring blankly up at the ceiling, reflecting upon the immense changes his life had undergone in a such a short period of time. It had been a few weeks since he had arrived at the Western Air Temple and thrown himself upon the mercy of people he had considered to be his enemies only a short time ago. It hadn't gone well at first, but as soon as they had officially let him into the group, he seemed to fade into the background. Aside from a few strange glances, the members of Team Avatar, as they so ridiculously dubbed themselves, had basically acted as if he had always been there. It was of course awkward if they brought up any stories from the past (that featured him as the villain) while sitting around the fire and eating. In those instances he tried to force his face into something that looked like a smile and let it roll off his back.

Things had even gotten a little easier for him after he went with the Avatar to see the Fire Sages. He had proven that he could in fact be alone with the Avatar, far away from his friends, and return the boy to them unharmed. If that didn't prove his intentions, he wasn't sure what would. It had to be obvious by now that he was on their side, and wasn't still secretly plotting to capture Aang and return him triumphantly to the Fire Lord. It was almost strange that no one seemed to balk at the idea of the two of them going off alone together, although he was sure some people in the group had their doubts.

Especially that waterbender.

She had been eyeballing Zuko ever since he arrived at the Western Air Temple. And not in a good way, either. She was less than ecstatic that Aang had let him join the group, and used pretty much every opportunity to let him know this. Snide verbal comments, sneers, "accidental" soakings, even noticeably smaller portions of food on occasion; he had seen it all from this girl. Zuko was trying very hard to change, and so he tried to ignore this behavior from her. As much as he sometimes wanted to, retaliation was not an option. Particularly after that comment she had made to him upon his arrival. He was taking that threat of hers very seriously. He had seen her fight after all, and he had seen the way the Avatar looked at her. No, fighting back was just not an option. So he just had to take it and hope that she would give up sooner or later.

The truth was, he didn't want to fight with her. Certainly, he wanted to fit in completely with the group, and finally belong somewhere. He was tired of being in an environment that was continuously hostile toward him in one way or another. He really did just want to be at peace for once. But also, he respected her. The waterbender had many qualities that were worthy of respect, and they did not go unnoticed by Zuko. For one, she was an amazingly talented bender. He was genuinely shocked at how much she had improved in such a short time. He remembered the first time he saw her bend, at the side of the river underneath the moon…after which he had promptly tied her to a tree and taunted her with her most prized possession. Zuko almost always flushed at this memory, it was certainly not one of his prouder moments. Then, she was a novice, clearly trying to teach herself, and now, she was a force to be reckoned with. But even with all of that strength, she was still gentle and kind, catering to the group in an almost motherly fashion. Well, to everyone else at least. Not to Zuko.

Zuko wasn't stupid. He did not harbor any illusions about why she was angry with him, or why she didn't trust him. The incident in the crystal catacombs under Ba Sing Se was clearly still very prominent in her mind, and he didn't blame her. This was not one of his proudest moments either. Honestly, he really was trying to connect with her when they were imprisoned together. He was more forthcoming with her than he had been with anyone in a long time. But then the Avatar had come bursting in, casting him weird looks. And then Azula had come in, and dangled something in front of him that he thought he had wanted for a long time. Something he thought would fix everything.

But it didn't fix everything. Instead, it caused him to do something that filled him with shame every time he thought about it. When he thought about it now, it was sad how little resolve he had had. When he tied the waterbender to that tree, and offered her necklace, which meant everything to her, in exchange for information, she did the right thing and refused to betray the loyalty of her friends. When Azula came waltzing in offering lofty promises, he dropped everything and followed her blindly, without regard for his Uncle or anything else. His loyalty was only to himself. Some honorable Prince he was.

But the truth was, he had needed to go home. He had needed to see that what was offered there did not actually make him happy. He needed to see that what he had wanted all along was just a dream, that the reality of going back to the palace was nothing like he imagined it would be. His Uncle had tried to tell him all of this, but he hadn't listened. He had tried for a while, working in Uncle's teashop, but there was that feeling in the back of his mind that something was missing, that he was making the wrong choice, that he needed to go back to the Fire Nation. Going back home cleared all of that up pretty quickly. When he made the decision to join the Avatar and his friends, he had never felt so right about a decision. But if he had joined them when they were all in Ba Sing Se, as his Uncle had wished, he wouldn't have been happy then either. Going back to the palace had erased all doubt from his mind, and allowed him to make decisions with a clear head.

But she didn't know all of that. She just saw him as someone with flimsy loyalty, flip-flopping between sides as it suited him. She didn't even know the reasons that he had wanted to go back home in the first place. His fondest wish was to sit down with her and try to explain, to tell her how the events of his life had led him to make some stupid decisions, and that he was sorry, genuinely sorry, for any hurt that he had caused to her and her friends. He wanted her forgiveness. And he wanted it badly.

So when Sokka started making odd requests for information about impenetrable prisons, he saw an opportunity. Infiltrating a dangerous Fire Nation prison certainly wasn't a great idea, but if Sokka insisted on going, he wasn't going to let him go alone. After all, he liked the boy, and he didn't want to see him get hurt. Zuko thought that if he could return her brother to her unharmed, maybe she would soften just a little. Maybe he could show her that he was invested in protecting the things that mattered to her. It wouldn't be worthy of forgiveness per se, but it was worth a try.

But when they returned, he hadn't just helped bring her brother back safely. The look on her face when Chief Hakoda walked off the airship was amazing. A mixture of emotions played over her face, first confusion, then relief, and then utter joy. Zuko stood in the background in that moment, smiling and watching the reunion, not wanting to interfere. He was envious for a moment watching the family reunite, seeing how a family was supposed to interact, but the jealousy passed quickly. He had watched the two siblings hug their father, Hakoda's back to him. Katara had looked up over her father's shoulder then, and her watery eyes had met with Zuko's for a brief moment. And in that brief moment, she had smiled. Zuko felt a lightening in his chest at that smile, it was the first one that she had given him in earnest. He knew that it wasn't much, and that things were certain to calm down and go back to the way they were, but it was a start. A tiny crack in that hard shell of hers. It gave him hope.

Hello, tell me you know, that you've figured me out

Something gave it away.

And it would be such a beautiful moment to see the look on your face,

To know that, I know that you know now.

But baby that's a case of my wishful thinking

You know nothing.

"But I didn't forgive him. I'll never forgive him…But I am ready to forgive you."

Zuko had just about had it. Sitting around the campfire after a narrow escape from the Western Air Temple, he was surprised to be congratulated by all of the group members. He was really touched that Sokka had even proposed a toast in his honor. And then she had to make yet another snippy comment and spoil his good time. He had even tried to make a joke! It seemed nothing would ever be good enough for her, nothing would ever impress her or convince her that he had changed and was sorry that he had hurt her in the past.

This suspicion was confirmed the moment he found her alone at the edge of the cliff. She was overlooking the ocean, a stiff breeze running through her hair. Silhouetted there, she looked…beautiful. Zuko was not blind. He was a growing young man, and it was hard not to notice what a lovely young woman this waterbender was becoming. He was still shocked every time he walked by when she and the Avatar were training together, seeing her traipsing around in the water in her undergarments. Scandalous! It was no wonder that Aang looked at her that way! Anytime he stumbled in on them like that he always mumbled some incoherent thing and got away as quickly as possible, hoping to hide the color that was rising in his cheeks. Zuko was frankly surprised he hadn't noticed these things about her a long time ago, but admittedly he had other things on his mind when he was chasing them around the world. Now that he had the time to be around her more, it was easy to admire certain qualities that she had.

But now was not the time for those thoughts. As much as he wanted to be friends with this girl, she would not stop antagonizing him. This was just tiresome. He needed to have it out with this girl once and for all. So he approached her, and was promptly yelled at for trying to seek forgiveness. Not that he was expecting anything less, really, but still. He stood on the cliff for a moment after she had passed, thinking about what she had said. Reconquer the Earth Kingdom? Well, he knew where that had come from. That comment wasn't unexpected, even if it was unreasonable. But, bring her mother back? How did he have anything to do with that? That wasn't his fault!

But to her it was somehow, and he needed more information. A quick walk to Sokka's tent almost made him regret his decision to seek out the opinions of others. Here was her brother, sprawled out on his stomach, a rose clenched in his teeth. Zuko hoped that he would be able to block this memory as easily as he had with other painful moments in his life. Initial awkwardness aside, the information gathering mission was a success, and he was able to understand Katara's position a little better. He could see how truly painful losing her mother was, and how it could be easy for her to slip into a comfortable hatred of him based on his association with the Fire Nation, whether he deserved it now or not. The conversation with Sokka made all of this understandable, but that did not make it acceptable. Zuko was determined to show her that he was not the person that she thought he was, and he was going to help her find closure to all of the pain she suffered.

Of course, the Avatar wasn't pleased. Zuko could easily have predicted that. Maybe Zuko was just being paranoid, but it almost seemed like the Avatar was against this mission for other reasons, not just because he thought revenge was wrong. In this case, revenge was needed! Zuko was sure of it. Katara needed to be able to face this man, and confront him with her pain. No one could understand this like Zuko. He too had wanted to seek revenge on the man who took his mother from him, but that was Aang's job. After all, in a round-about way, the Avatar would be getting revenge on the people who destroyed his civilization if he could defeat the Fire Lord and restore balance to the world. He would be allowed to defeat those that took away his people. Why shouldn't Katara be allowed the same peace?

The trip with Katara wasn't exactly what he had hoped it would be. He had hoped that during the long intervals that they were travelling they would be able to talk and get to know each other. He had planned out long speeches in his mind, things he had wanted to say, explanations for previous actions, apologies long in the making. But the atmosphere was never right for any of that. This girl had transformed into someone as single minded as he had been when he was chasing the Avatar and his friends. She was clearly on a mission, and she was tense. Zuko was almost afraid to talk to her too much, for fear of setting her off.

At one point, he woke up on the back of Appa, unsure of how long he had slept. Groggily, he looked up and saw her sitting on Appa's head, slouching and holding the reins. She looked tired. He gently suggested that she get some sleep to prepare for what was to come, but she assured him that she did not need sleep in order to gather her strength. She had plenty. Then, unexpectedly, she launched into her side of the story, about what had happened the day her mother had been killed. The story started out in harsh tones, but softened as she came to the end. Zuko had been dumbfounded. He was not prepared for her to share her painful memories with him. All he could think to say was "you're mother was a brave woman." And Katara had agreed. From that point on, a fragile bond had been formed between them. Tentative, but still there. He knew that, and he knew that he didn't want this to end up like Ba Sing Se all over again: with her giving him her trust and him stepping all over it. He vowed to be careful this time, to not make mistakes. Her single minded attitude didn't cease until the mission had come to completion, but after that conversation, her tones with Zuko were not as rough, her comments not designed to hurt.

Zuko had been impressed with the way she had handled Yan Ra. Zuko knew that he did not possess that kind of resolve; he would have let his emotions take over and he would have had to deal with the consequences in the aftermath. Not to mention that her bending was incredible. He wasn't sure what she had done to that man on the Southern Raiders ship to make him move around like that, but Zuko knew that he didn't want Katara to turn that on him any time soon.

Although it didn't seem like he would have to worry as much anymore. They had arrived back at the campsite, and Katara had headed for the docks. Zuko, sensing her need to be alone for awhile, went off to find Aang to tell him they were back. The Avatar was happy that they were back safely, and even more happy to find out what Katara's actions had been. Zuko told him the story, and all the while he sensed that the Avatar was feeling smug; it leaked onto Aang's features even though he was trying to hold it in. As soon as Zuko had finished, Aang was practically running to find Katara. Zuko had rolled his eyes and followed the monk to the dock.

Katara hadn't thought much of what Aang had to say, Zuko could tell. She seemed to sense that smugness from him as well, and seemed to be irritated by it. Zuko could see that the Avatar still didn't understand the purpose of the mission, and in doing so failed to understand her. But just as Zuko thought she was going to pass them both and go back to camp, she looked at him, and forgave him. And hugged him. At first, he didn't know how to react. He was still trying to process her words of forgiveness, words he had waited so long to hear, when she suddenly launched herself at him. Tentatively, he wrapped his arms around her waist, and for just a brief moment, the world seemed to stop. There was no war, no Fire Lord, no Avatar staring stupidly at them. It was just him and Katara, and it felt right. As quickly as it had happened, it was over, and she went strolling back to camp.

A peace had been struck between the two of them with that hug. A peace, and a friendship. Snide remarks and blatant ignoring had been replaced with helpful gestures and quiet talks between the two of them. Where they could find nothing to say to each other before, now the two had conversations that flowed easily. Often, the two would stay up long past when everyone else had gone to sleep, just talking and comparing what their lives had been like growing up in such vastly different places. Katara normally did most of the talking, but Zuko was content to just listen to her. He found her truly fascinating now that she wasn't at his throat all of the time. He found that he missed her when she wasn't around, and started to feel the need to show off (maybe just a little) when she came to watch him practice with the Avatar. Zuko was starting to realize that all of those admirable qualities that she possessed, coupled with that pretty smile and those big blue eyes, were starting to mean more to him than he ever imagined was possible. And if he admitted it to himself, he was starting to like her in ways that extended beyond friendship. In ways that he had never felt or thought about when he was with Mai. It was new, and a little scary, but it felt good.

In all of their talks, they both seemed to avoid the topic of Aang. Zuko was sure that the Avatar had feelings for her, but he wasn't sure how Katara felt about Aang. He thought that they might be together, but the dynamic between her and the Avatar had changed a bit since they had returned from their mission to find the Southern Raiders. Katara was still mothering toward him, but didn't seem to spend as much time with the Avatar, or look at him the same way. Zuko wanted to take this as a good sign, but didn't want to get his hopes up. And he certainly wasn't going to say anything to Katara about the way that he was feeling. He had come too far to destroy the rapport that he had built with Katara. No, he would just have to be happy with the way things were. This was already better than anything he could have hoped for.

Cause you and I, we go carrying on for hours on end.

And we get along much better than you and your boyfriend.

All I really wanna do is love you

A kind much closer than friends use

But I still can't say it after all we've been through.

And all I really want from you is to feel me

As the feeling inside keeps building

And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills

"The Avatar? Why he's like a little brother to me! I certainly don't think of him in a romantic way. Besides, how could he ever find out about this?"

Of all the things that had happened to Zuko in his almost seventeen years on the planet, this had to be one of the most humiliating. Had to be. The group had decided to go see the Boy in the Iceberg, a ridiculous play that was supposed to be about all of them. But, as Zuko had warned, these people were butchering everything they held sacred. Their portrayal of everyone had been laughable until then, and even Zuko had accepted that the actor playing him was not, could not, be doing an accurate job. As they approached the scene entailing the crystal catacombs, Zuko had held his breath. Of all the things he didn't need to see rehashed, it was this. To make matters worse, Katara was sitting right next to him, and he didn't want to have to deal with the uncomfortable proximity when his biggest betrayal was laid out in front of him. He was almost second guessing his decision about insisting on sitting next to her.

He had thought that it would be uncomfortable. He did not anticipate this. The Katara actor was hitting on him! Where did anyone get this information from? He flushed a deep crimson color, as did Katara. He chanced a sideways glance at her, and noticed she did the same. He suddenly became aware of how close they were sitting. Slowly, they edged away from each other, as if not to give anyone the wrong idea. While this was a very amusing portrayal, this was not accurate in the least! He wasn't sure what Katara had told everyone, but he hoped that the account she had given had been detailed so that no one was confused about this absurd version.

The Katara actor went on, talking about how the Avatar was like a brother to her, followed by a romantic looking pose between the two actors on stage. Zuko was mortified. He chanced a glance at Aang, who looked furious and promptly stormed out. Zuko was almost glad that he was gone and hadn't looked at him before he left. He desperately wanted his face to return to normal before anyone noticed his coloring, especially the Avatar.

While he had no such intentions while they were prisoners underneath Ba Sing Se, things had changed since then. Since her forgiveness, Zuko had been spending increasing amounts of time with Katara, and had grown to like her immensely. He would admit to himself now that he wanted to have a closer relationship with her. Since they had come to Ember Island, their nightly talks had moved to the beach. Often, as they walked along the shore, Katara would take his hand, and wouldn't relinquish it until they came into view of the beach house. The first time she had done it, he had gasped a little, and his head had swung in her direction, looking at her in confusion. But she had kept her head down a little, keeping her eyes straight ahead, and kept talking like nothing was out of the ordinary. He thought he detected a little blush on her cheeks, but he couldn't be sure in the moonlight. He didn't question it any further, and just let it happen. It was now a nightly ritual, and he treasured it. It was a time that was just theirs, without any distractions or worries. But it was never anything more than that, and Zuko was content with that.

Watching any behavior like this in the play however felt like he was being exposed. It felt like there was a giant spotlight on him, that all of his new friends were staring at him. It was as though they could see right through him, and he had been found out. He sat perfectly still for the next five minutes, watching the play but not actually seeing it, waiting for the moment to pass, waiting for his breathing to return to normal. When he finally thought it was safe, he carefully looked around at his friends. None of them seemed to be acting any different, or acting like anything out of the ordinary. Zuko was just being paranoid. He sighed a little to himself. It was okay. His secret was still safe.

But then he thought of Aang, and he started panicking again. Aang must think….well what does Aang think? Zuko imagined that he had to be furious! Zuko suddenly realized that the Avatar already had suspicions that this happened; that had to be the reason the kid had given him weird looks when he came upon Zuko and Katara in Ba Sing Se. It made sense to Zuko now, but Aang hadn't been right back then. And now it was not going to look good. Zuko groaned inwardly, trying to figure out how he was going to explain this the next time he saw Aang. After all, Zuko could deny these events to the Avatar, and he would be telling the truth. But what if Aang asked him about his feelings now? He couldn't imagine telling the Avatar the truth, but he was sure that the kid would be smart enough to figure out if he was lying. If he didn't, Toph surely would.

Katara had gone off to talk to Aang during intermission, and Zuko was glad he didn't have to see him. He didn't feel like he could face him just yet. When Katara came back, she seemed distressed, but didn't seem to want to talk about it. They went back into the auditorium to watch the remainder of the play. Zuko noticed that Aang didn't sit next to him as he had before. Zuko felt a little ashamed for upsetting his friend, even though he technically hadn't done anything wrong.

The play finally concluded, ending in a victory for the Fire Lord. Zuko watched in horror as his character literally went down in flames while shouting the word "honor." He knew that this was cheesy, but still couldn't help but feel embarrassed about being portrayed like that. He didn't have time to muse over his character's last words however, because suddenly the auditorium was filled with furious clapping and shouting. He realized slowly that the audience was applauding his death. He sat in disbelief, these people had cheered for him not long ago, when he had been reinstated as their prince, and now they were excited about his demise. From the corner of his eye, he saw Katara had reached her hand out to comfort him, but then glanced behind her and thought better of it. He knew that she didn't want to give Aang any more ideas than he already had, but it still stung a little.

The whole group was mostly silent on the way back to the beach house after the play had ended. Everyone seemed to file listlessly back to their rooms, not wanting to talk about the play, trying to forget about it for different reasons. Zuko lay in bed for awhile, thinking about the play. It was stupid of course, but its effect on him was profound. He thought about the death scene, realizing that when the time came, he really might not make it to see peace among the nations. It was a sacrifice he was willing to make, if he needed to. But he regretted that he might never be able to tell Katara how he felt. No matter how much he wanted to say something to her, it was impossible. There were more important things at stake right now, he didn't need to burden her with this, especially if she didn't feel the same way. He didn't need her to feel awkward around him, and he didn't need the Avatar angry at him. No, he would keep silent. It was tearing him up, but he couldn't risk it. If they were all still safe after the war was over, then maybe he would be honest with her. Until then, he would just have to try to remain as friendly as possible, without giving himself away.

It wasn't easy though. After Aang disappeared, they travelled to the Earth Kingdom to find Jun in order to try and track their lost friend. When they approached her, she looked over at them, and recognized Zuko immediately. Even referred to him by the same nickname that she had used what seemed like years ago. Then, to his utter disbelief, she mentioned something about how she could see that he had worked things out with his girlfriend. Zuko and Katara had both pinked and shouted vehement denials about this. Just like in the play, Zuko had felt exposed. If Toph had sensed anything strange, she didn't mention it, and for that he was thankful. Zuko was glad that Aang wasn't with them at that moment, and hoped that he could go the rest of this trip without people making any more innuendos about himself and Katara. Because they were right. And he figured it was only a matter of time before Katara asked him about it. And if she did, he didn't know what he would say.

How long can I go on like this, wishing to kiss you, before I rightly explode

This double life I lead isn't healthy for me, in fact it makes me nervous

If I get caught I could be risking it all

But baby there's a life that I'll miss in case I'm wrong

"I think I'm the one who should be thanking you."

The palace was in flames around him. His fight with his sister had been grueling, but he had held his own against her so far. Just like he had told Katara, there was something off about her. He didn't know what it was, but she was not as sharp as normal. Because she hadn't already defeated him swiftly like he thought she might, he made the mistake of taunting her. He thought that maybe she would become flustered and make a final mistake, and he would take her down. He wanted this fight to be over, so he and Katara could both be safe.

But his taunting had backfired. He saw Azula generating the lightning, and even with his Uncles training and previous experience with redirecting it, it seemed like it might be too much to bear. The comet was making it stronger, and it crackled around her like nothing he had ever seen before. Zuko took a calming breath and steadied his stance, preparing for her strike.

He was ready. But in the final moments, he saw a slight shift in Azula's eyes, made bright by the blue electricity that was sparking all around her. A realization dawned on Zuko then: Azula wasn't looking at him, she was looking behind him, and behind him was….Katara.

All of the trepidation that Zuko had felt about his abilities to redirect Azula's lighting evaporated with the sudden knowledge that Katara was in danger, and while he might be able to redirect it, Katara had no hope to do any such thing. Time slowed down. He ran, legs feeling like lead as he tried to reach the bolt before it could get to Katara. Now was the moment of truth. He had to save her. He loved her, he knew it, and if he could only do this one last thing for her, so be it.

Zuko dove for the bolt, arm outstretched, praying to any god that would listen that he make it in time. These thoughts were cut off abruptly by a searing pain that convulsed through his entire body, and he felt his body hit the ground hard. He lay there, twitching, electricity still finding paths to take among his limbs. He tried to catch his breath, but found it difficult. There was a pain in his chest that was unbearable, and he struggled to maintain consciousness. He dimly realized that his fortune hadn't been completely predicted by the play, at least his last word hadn't been 'honor.'

He struggled to sit up but could not. He heard his sister cackle, and managed to turn over. He could now see that his sister had a new target, and that his worst nightmares had been realized. He could see Katara try to run towards him, hand engulfed in water to heal him, but she was halted by Azula's blue flames. In his confused state, he was actually disappointed for a moment that Katara couldn't get to him; he really wanted that healing touch of hers right now. He momentarily regained focus, and mentally slapped himself for putting his own needs above Katara's. He tried to watch the new battle that was now raging, to make sure that Katara was alright, but the pain was overwhelming, and he could not get up and help no matter how much he tried. He finally shut his eyes, convinced that he was going to die here, and hoped that at least Katara could make it out of this alive. He hoped that she would forgive him for being so foolish, and for putting her in danger.

He was not sure how much time had passed, or what had happened, but suddenly there were hands around his waist, trying to turn him over. As he came back into consciousness, he realized that there were no longer loud noises indicating battle. At first he saw a blur of blue, and slowly Katara's face came into focus. It was then that Zuko realized what this meant. She had done what he could not: she defeated his sister. Zuko was awestruck by this young woman in front of him. He had tried to protect her by not getting her involved, and in the end it was she who had saved him. And she had come back for him.

He felt a cooling sensation and saw a bright glow coming from his chest. The pain was suddenly renewed, and he gritted his teeth against it, not wanting to show Katara that she was hurting him. But as quickly as the pain had come it was gone, replaced by relief. There was still pain, but it was manageable. He opened his eyes and glanced at the waterbender who had saved his life. There were tears in her eyes and she looked relieved that he was awake. Now was the time to tell her. He was sure of it. He had loved her for a while now, but never with as much intensity as in this moment. She was disheveled from fighting, but she had never looked so beautiful to him. He smiled weakly and said,

"Thank you Katara."

To which she replied, "I think I'm the one who should be thanking you."

She leaned down, and he thought this was his moment. But he couldn't make himself bridge that small distance between their faces. His mind screamed at him to do something, anything, to make his feelings known to her. Instead, he allowed her to help him up, and together they walked to the edge of the courtyard, Katara's hand resting gently on Zuko's back.

If I should be so bold, I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hands

Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man

But I never said a word I guess I've gone and missed my chance again.

"All Hail Fire Lord Zuko"

Zuko's coronation had been a success, and he was now in control of the most powerful nation in the world. It was a heavy burden to bear, but he knew that with his friends, he would be able to do great things for his country and for the world. He had hope for the first time in what seemed like years, and he could not help but reflect on how much things had changed.

Team Avatar (which now didn't seem quite so silly now that he was a member) stuck around the palace for a few weeks after the war had ended. He was happy to be around his friends for a little while longer. He knew that eventually they would all go their separate ways, but he wanted to cherish the time that he had with them.

Katara had continued to have healing sessions with Zuko until the pain was mostly a memory and all that was left was a star shaped scar below his heart. In a way, he was glad that the scar had remained, he wanted to keep it as a reminder of that night, and all he had been willing to sacrifice. Zuko had missed their nightly walks, and had suggested to Katara that they resume them while she was at the palace. She eagerly agreed, and often they found themselves sitting at the turtle duck pond. Many nights they would sit in peaceful silence, or chat about superficial things. Neither of them broached the subject of what had happened the night of Sozin's Comet. Zuko desperately wanted to say something, anything that might hint at his deep feelings for her. But the words remained unspoken. He figured perhaps it was better this way, or that maybe she already knew. There was a pain in his heart that had nothing to do with his injury on the day she finally left the Fire Nation.

Uncle Iroh had reopened his tea shop in Ba Sing Se just as he said he would. A few months after the group had gone their separate ways, Zuko received a messenger hawk from his Uncle stating that everyone was planning to get together again. It was a sort of celebration to mark the fact that six months had passed since the Fire Lord had been defeated and peace had come to the world. Zuko was happy to be able to see all of his friends again. He wanted to feel like the Zuko that they were all familiar with, so he left the palace without the royal procession, leaving his royal garments behind. He let his hair down and arrived in the greens and browns of the Earth Kingdom, an outfit he had saved from his days as a tea server.

On his way to Ba Sing Se, he reflected on the last six months. Things in the Fire Nation were going well, although there was a lot of damage, in his own country and of course in others. There was so much to do, but he thought he was handling it well. Rebel factions popped up here and there, but they were easily taken care of. He had still had no luck in finding his mother or obtaining any clue as to her whereabouts, but he was hopeful. Being the leader of a country didn't allow him much time to search for her, but he had people that were investigating for him until things calmed down. He was overloaded with paperwork, and often stayed up well past midnight signing documents and reading proposals. He mused that he might get more done if his mind didn't drift to thinking about a certain pair of blue eyes.

Things had not gone well with Mai. When she had showed up on the day of his coronation, he realized that he hadn't thought about her at all, and might have forgotten that she was even in prison had her uncle not released her. He was happy that she was well, but he simply could not lie to himself and say that he loved her. That statement was reserved for someone else now. He tried to tell Mai this one night, and she had been upset to be sure but didn't seem to be all that surprised. But she didn't stab him, and he took that as a good sign. Zuko realized that maybe she had felt that whatever had been between them was no longer there.

When Zuko arrived at the tea shop, he was greeted warmly by his old friends and his Uncle. During the better part of his travels to Ba Sing Se, he had finally worked up the nerve to tell Katara how he felt. He was going to do it this time. He had had a lot of time to consider it, and he knew for sure now that his feelings were real. They were not just the result of some crush, or some frantic effort to find love during the stress of war; he genuinely loved this young woman. He fingered the proposal necklace in his pocket that he had been working on for the last couple of months. He was just waiting for the right moment to pull her aside and confess all of this to her.

Zuko had taken on his role as tea server once more while the others were lounging around and chatting. Sokka yelled at Zuko to hold still, as he was trying to do a painting to 'capture the moment.' Katara thought this was a nice gesture, until she walked over to her brother's side and was reminded that he was a terrible artist. Everyone gathered around to see this painting, and commotion ensued as everyone had something to say about their poor portrayal. Zuko looked up and saw Katara's figure as she walked out the back door of the tea shop to the large patio overlooking the city. Adrenaline surging, he knew that this was the time, and quietly left the group to follow her.

All I really want to do is love you

A kind much closer than friends use

But I still can't say it after all we've been through.

And all I really want from you is to feel me

As the feeling inside keeps building

And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me, if it kills me.

Zuko did not see that Aang had exited moments before Katara had.

Zuko stepped out onto the patio, smiling, her name on the tip of his tongue. His words quickly shoved themselves back down his throat when he looked toward the railing. There was Katara, arms around the Avatar, kissing him. They were surrounded by the backdrop of the magnificent city at sunset, Katara looking more beautiful than ever in her Earth Kingdom clothes and a flower in her hair.

Zuko felt sick. He couldn't move from his spot in the doorway, couldn't tear his eyes away from the scene in front of him. It was like some sort of bad dream. This was not the way things were supposed to work out. Everything had been going so well for him, it only seemed natural that the thing he wished most for would fall into place like everything else. He was speechless, he felt like all of the wind had been knocked out of his chest. The night he had been struck with lightning, he was sure he was going to die, the pain was unbelievable, but he accepted it. Now, the pain was even worse, and he only wished he could die, because this was beyond anything he had imagined.

He couldn't have known that Katara had missed him. He couldn't have known that Katara had been thinking about him in the same ways, and had wanted to contact him ever since she had left the palace. He couldn't have known that she was simply granting Aang something that she knew the Avatar had always wanted, before bidding him goodbye. She had fulfilled her promise to Aang to help with some of the post-war reconstruction, and now she was planning on making a trip to the Fire Nation.

Zuko couldn't have known any of that. When he finally snapped himself out of his trance, he silently turned from the doorway. He crept by the rest of his friends, who were still laughing and drinking tea, and headed toward the door. On his way out, he pulled the necklace out of his pocket and flung it into the trash. He walked down the steps of the tea shop, and saddled up his ostrich horse. Only when he had gotten a few miles away from the shop did he allow the tears that had been building up to fall.

I think it might kill me.

A/N - that's the first chapter of If It Kills Me! It was a contest entry for Zutara Eternity, and it was a songfic. Hence, I added in lyrics from a Jason Mraz song, "If It Kills Me." I just couldn't leave it alone though, so this is turning into a full blown story. The rest of the chapters advance the plot and don't follow this format, so give them a try! Thanks for reading!