Disclaimer: I sadly do not own any of the Harry Potter characters that JK
Rowling owns, except for the ones that are mine. So cover me in honey, dump
chicken feathers all over me and call me sue.wait on the other hand don't.
A/N: Beware, this is at a total random, I was bored ^.^
One day, Little Red Riding Sirius was sitting on a tuffet eating his curds and whey. Yes, Sirius was sitting on a tuffet eating some unknown food substance because he was very hungry. Yes, hungry. Very, hungry. So, he sat down on a thing and named it a tuffet, and grabbed the food on it and started chowin' down.
As he was munching, a little.err.person came up and started yelling at him.
"Get off my tuffet you oaf! Those are my curds and whey!" she.he.err.said.
"Who are you?" Riding Siri asked still stuffing his face with the disgusting stuff.
"I am Little James Muffet."
"Oh, I am Little Red Riding Siri."
"."
"This stuff is disgusting.where's the chicken? I WANT CHICKEN!" Riding Siri yelled.
"There's chicken at your Grandpeter's house."
"CHICKEN!"
Little Red Riding Siri jumped off the tuffet and grabbed his.her..um.basket full of bananas! He/Her/Um likes bananas. They are very good.
"I like bananas, they are very good."
"Why are you quoting the author, Riding Siri?"
"Because she is brilliant! Truly brilliant!"
"Can I have chicken too?"
"Sure! Let's go to Grandpeter's house now!"
And they were off! It was Riding Siri in the lead, followed closely by Litter James Muffet. They were neck and neck, but.oh! What's this? INTERFERENCE!
"That author has problems," Little James mumbled looking towards the forest top because I like forests. They are pretty.
"Not-uh! She's brilliant! Brilliant I tell you! I'll smash you with a ham.BANANA!"
"Let's.just.continue."
So, they continued. Now, they are walking...walking..still walking.do de do de do de do de do.walkie walkie..wait! Now they are..skipping!
"skippitidoda, skippitiday, my oh my what a wonderful day! Plenty of ice cream coming my AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" James Muffet sang and then screamed because big hurdles of ice cream came his way. Oh no!
"Who did that?" Riding Siri inquired eating ice cream off James Muffet's face with a banana.
"Fe Fi Fo Fum, I smell the smelly smell of a cross dresser.um?" A voice shot out.
"Are you the aqua magenta giant?" James Muffet asked looking around. Another person stepped out of the woods dressed up as a wolf.
"no, I just wanted to say that."
"Hi Moo.er.who are you?" Riding Siri said as he picked up a quarter.
"I am the Big Moony Wolf and I'm on a quest for the One Ring."
"You mean the One Ring that controls the fate of Middle Earth and everything else?"James Muffet asked tripping over that microscopic piece of dust right there. Watch out Prongie, you might fall! :: sticks her tongue out at him :: I'll show you to say I have problems.
"No, It's the One Ring that the Dark Lord controls."
"Isn't that the Dark Lord who is trying to destroy Middle Earth and everything else with the One Ring that controls Middle Earth and everything else?
"No, the Dark Lord is my Grandpa and the ring is one of a kind and I don't know!"
".okay?"
"Oh! Just look here!," Moony Wolf started running frantically in circles. "I'm laaaattteeee"
"For what?" Riding Siri questioned.
"I DON'T KNOW! BLOODY HELL! WHAT'S WITH THE BLOODY QUESTIONS?!"
"Do you like candy?" Riding Siri asked stuffing fun dip into his mouth, "I like candy. Candy is very good."
"Where'd you get that?" Moony wolf got out of his tantrum. Riding Siri shrugged pointing to the ground.
"Don't sleep.wake uuppp" James Muffet said as he started skipping again holding up the front of his/her/er skirt in a wittle girlie manner.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA" Moony Wolf and Riding Siri fell over laughing.
"Why don't you make Siri do this stuff?" James Muffet glared angrily at the sky.
"Because she fancies him?"
"Because Siri is wearing BOXERS under his cloak, bwahahahahahahahahahaha! I have the power!" the author.me.laughed maniacly and stuckmy tongue out at him. "AND because I fancy him! He's so purdy!"
".."
"Yes! I'm purdy! Who's purdy? Siri's Purrdy!! Na na na na na!"
All of a sudden.GRANDPETER APPEARED WITH CHICKEN!!
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Everyone screamed at the sudden appearance of the fat, ugly, backstabbing Squib of a fool..er.got carried away.
"CHICKEN!" Riding Siri yelled and grabbed the chicken from him and he disappeared.
"SIRI SIRI SIRI-US! S-I-R-I-SIRIUS! EAT EAT EAT IT UP! EAT THAT FOSTER FARMS CHICKEN UP!" I, the author, the crazed, slightly inadequate mind behind this story cheered. Riding Siri cut open the chicken aannnddd..threw..MARSHMELLOWS inside at everyone!!
"bwahahahaha"
"I like sushi," Moony Wolf jumped up.aannnnddddd..sushi fell on his head!
"no.really..this author.is freggin scary!" James Muffet the girlie man yelled as a ten ton anvil appeared and hit him on the head, "OWIE!"
"lookie! He's the coyote! BEEP BEEP!" Riding Siri started running around in circles saying "BEEP BEEP"
Then a phone that came from no where ran and James answered it.
"Heylo?!"
But.really.the phone was a huge glistening spider/snake thing that was trying to eat him!!! It lowered its ridicously large basilisk fangs over James Muffet's face and.
THE END
Sirius closed the book he was reading to James and Remus.
"did you write that Padfoot?" James asked.
"no, I did!" I, the author, the one behind this annoyingly ridiculous story said popping out of the fire.
"Who are you?" Remus asked.
"I am Rhianna."
"Who's Rhianna?"
"Me! I'm from the future!"
"Really?"
"Yep, I'm a Gryffindor and me parents are Jeanette Black and Severus Snape."
"."
"slimy git," Sirius mumbled.
"I know, isn't he."
"YES!," the others yelled,
"but you're too pretty," Sirius said putting his arm around me, the overly Sirius crazed author.
"oo la la!"
"no.really you are." He said as he fulfilled my wildest fantasy and kissed me.the author..on the lips. Suddenly, another two girls fell out of the sky!
"AHHHH it's raining Morgans and Avonas!!" I screamed jumping into Siri's arms.
"Heyloooo!" Avona said as she and Morgan sat down between the couch.er..James and Remus.
"So, who you?"
"Me Avona Snape. Sister to Rhianna."
"ME equals Morgan Black..no wait..MB equals Morgan Black."
Remus looked at Morgan and james looked at Avona. Since me, the author, who is slightly insane and WAY overly obessesed with Sirius, is getting tired, I'm going to end this.
"They all fell happily in love and ate bananas and chicken until Rhianna, Morgan, and Avona had to go back to the future. No da!
The REAL End
A/N: Beware, this is at a total random, I was bored ^.^
One day, Little Red Riding Sirius was sitting on a tuffet eating his curds and whey. Yes, Sirius was sitting on a tuffet eating some unknown food substance because he was very hungry. Yes, hungry. Very, hungry. So, he sat down on a thing and named it a tuffet, and grabbed the food on it and started chowin' down.
As he was munching, a little.err.person came up and started yelling at him.
"Get off my tuffet you oaf! Those are my curds and whey!" she.he.err.said.
"Who are you?" Riding Siri asked still stuffing his face with the disgusting stuff.
"I am Little James Muffet."
"Oh, I am Little Red Riding Siri."
"."
"This stuff is disgusting.where's the chicken? I WANT CHICKEN!" Riding Siri yelled.
"There's chicken at your Grandpeter's house."
"CHICKEN!"
Little Red Riding Siri jumped off the tuffet and grabbed his.her..um.basket full of bananas! He/Her/Um likes bananas. They are very good.
"I like bananas, they are very good."
"Why are you quoting the author, Riding Siri?"
"Because she is brilliant! Truly brilliant!"
"Can I have chicken too?"
"Sure! Let's go to Grandpeter's house now!"
And they were off! It was Riding Siri in the lead, followed closely by Litter James Muffet. They were neck and neck, but.oh! What's this? INTERFERENCE!
"That author has problems," Little James mumbled looking towards the forest top because I like forests. They are pretty.
"Not-uh! She's brilliant! Brilliant I tell you! I'll smash you with a ham.BANANA!"
"Let's.just.continue."
So, they continued. Now, they are walking...walking..still walking.do de do de do de do de do.walkie walkie..wait! Now they are..skipping!
"skippitidoda, skippitiday, my oh my what a wonderful day! Plenty of ice cream coming my AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" James Muffet sang and then screamed because big hurdles of ice cream came his way. Oh no!
"Who did that?" Riding Siri inquired eating ice cream off James Muffet's face with a banana.
"Fe Fi Fo Fum, I smell the smelly smell of a cross dresser.um?" A voice shot out.
"Are you the aqua magenta giant?" James Muffet asked looking around. Another person stepped out of the woods dressed up as a wolf.
"no, I just wanted to say that."
"Hi Moo.er.who are you?" Riding Siri said as he picked up a quarter.
"I am the Big Moony Wolf and I'm on a quest for the One Ring."
"You mean the One Ring that controls the fate of Middle Earth and everything else?"James Muffet asked tripping over that microscopic piece of dust right there. Watch out Prongie, you might fall! :: sticks her tongue out at him :: I'll show you to say I have problems.
"No, It's the One Ring that the Dark Lord controls."
"Isn't that the Dark Lord who is trying to destroy Middle Earth and everything else with the One Ring that controls Middle Earth and everything else?
"No, the Dark Lord is my Grandpa and the ring is one of a kind and I don't know!"
".okay?"
"Oh! Just look here!," Moony Wolf started running frantically in circles. "I'm laaaattteeee"
"For what?" Riding Siri questioned.
"I DON'T KNOW! BLOODY HELL! WHAT'S WITH THE BLOODY QUESTIONS?!"
"Do you like candy?" Riding Siri asked stuffing fun dip into his mouth, "I like candy. Candy is very good."
"Where'd you get that?" Moony wolf got out of his tantrum. Riding Siri shrugged pointing to the ground.
"Don't sleep.wake uuppp" James Muffet said as he started skipping again holding up the front of his/her/er skirt in a wittle girlie manner.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA" Moony Wolf and Riding Siri fell over laughing.
"Why don't you make Siri do this stuff?" James Muffet glared angrily at the sky.
"Because she fancies him?"
"Because Siri is wearing BOXERS under his cloak, bwahahahahahahahahahaha! I have the power!" the author.me.laughed maniacly and stuckmy tongue out at him. "AND because I fancy him! He's so purdy!"
".."
"Yes! I'm purdy! Who's purdy? Siri's Purrdy!! Na na na na na!"
All of a sudden.GRANDPETER APPEARED WITH CHICKEN!!
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Everyone screamed at the sudden appearance of the fat, ugly, backstabbing Squib of a fool..er.got carried away.
"CHICKEN!" Riding Siri yelled and grabbed the chicken from him and he disappeared.
"SIRI SIRI SIRI-US! S-I-R-I-SIRIUS! EAT EAT EAT IT UP! EAT THAT FOSTER FARMS CHICKEN UP!" I, the author, the crazed, slightly inadequate mind behind this story cheered. Riding Siri cut open the chicken aannnddd..threw..MARSHMELLOWS inside at everyone!!
"bwahahahaha"
"I like sushi," Moony Wolf jumped up.aannnnddddd..sushi fell on his head!
"no.really..this author.is freggin scary!" James Muffet the girlie man yelled as a ten ton anvil appeared and hit him on the head, "OWIE!"
"lookie! He's the coyote! BEEP BEEP!" Riding Siri started running around in circles saying "BEEP BEEP"
Then a phone that came from no where ran and James answered it.
"Heylo?!"
But.really.the phone was a huge glistening spider/snake thing that was trying to eat him!!! It lowered its ridicously large basilisk fangs over James Muffet's face and.
THE END
Sirius closed the book he was reading to James and Remus.
"did you write that Padfoot?" James asked.
"no, I did!" I, the author, the one behind this annoyingly ridiculous story said popping out of the fire.
"Who are you?" Remus asked.
"I am Rhianna."
"Who's Rhianna?"
"Me! I'm from the future!"
"Really?"
"Yep, I'm a Gryffindor and me parents are Jeanette Black and Severus Snape."
"."
"slimy git," Sirius mumbled.
"I know, isn't he."
"YES!," the others yelled,
"but you're too pretty," Sirius said putting his arm around me, the overly Sirius crazed author.
"oo la la!"
"no.really you are." He said as he fulfilled my wildest fantasy and kissed me.the author..on the lips. Suddenly, another two girls fell out of the sky!
"AHHHH it's raining Morgans and Avonas!!" I screamed jumping into Siri's arms.
"Heyloooo!" Avona said as she and Morgan sat down between the couch.er..James and Remus.
"So, who you?"
"Me Avona Snape. Sister to Rhianna."
"ME equals Morgan Black..no wait..MB equals Morgan Black."
Remus looked at Morgan and james looked at Avona. Since me, the author, who is slightly insane and WAY overly obessesed with Sirius, is getting tired, I'm going to end this.
"They all fell happily in love and ate bananas and chicken until Rhianna, Morgan, and Avona had to go back to the future. No da!
The REAL End