Hello there readers, welcome to my first attempt- and an "attempt" with a capital letter - at writing what is commonly known as "fanfiction". Gintama has been one of my favourite series since...one year ago. Yes, it was a total coincidence but one of my friends who is a major fan of Durarara and Gintama...got me hooked on it. Tragedy is not my forte, so this is a one-shot adapted from a part of Okita's flashback in episode 86. I am a sucker for the HijixMitsu pairing so I decided to throw an OC who is basically Hijikata's "rival" and sparring partner. She'll be important later and while she may appear a "Mary-Sue", making the characters act a bit OOC, this is not my intention. I never wrote something like this before. Like I said, this is an attempt. Comment however you want (just no flames, please). One last note: English is not my first language, but the first foreign one I learnt.

Numpang lewat (Guest): I edited that part, which now reveals the "simple trick" Kazua used to defeat Hijikata...it is so simple really.

Reyna108: Why, thank you for the vote of trust...I'll do my best. I am also a fan of your work "The Sadist's Temporary Maid". Damn it, writing GINTAMA is difficult, but you write it so well...*hails Reyna 108* thank you, Senpai!

Disclaimer: GINTAMA doesn't belong to me in any shape; it's all property of the "commedy Buddha" and mangaka Sorachi Hideaki-sensei.

Well, that's all for today's author's A/N...enjoy!

Meals always taste better when we share them with others!

When Kazua thought she had seen everything after becoming by chance a member of a dojo run by a man called Kondou Isao when destiny decided to laugh at her; her sparring partner who she had privately nicknamed as Bakagaki –because that was what he really was: an idiot- obssessed over mayonnaise to the point of turning a perfectly healthy soba noodles soup into a disgusting yellow cream. Altough she was coolly looking at the "Hijikata soba special", inside the ravenhead thought she was going to throw up. For real. "Huh…I highly doubt that is healthy…or even edible anymore."

While this, Kondou-san, the ever affable man and a damn good swordsman, was complaining in a loud voice about "kids these days" and "unhealthy food". Kazua sighed and looked at her own bowl as if something was missing, only to be gently nudged by the girl who could only be classified as a Yamato Nadeshiko: Okita Mitsuba, who she affectionately called "Mitsu". Mitsuba was the kindest soul Kazua had the pleasure to meet and she had seen enough men and women who could be rotten bastards, her older brother included. The only thing that genuinely scared Kazua was her Mitsu's love for spicy things, especially extra spicy senbei and…tobasco sauce.

"Would you like to try a bit?" Asked Mitsuba, pouring a bit of the red-colored soaked noodles on her friend's bowl. Kazua just shrugged and politely accepted, but not before producing a dark chocolate bar – extra bitter – out of her kimono. "In exchange for that." Kazua conversionally said, offering it to the brown-eyed pale girl who giggled but accepted it nevertheless. The girl then looked at her "rival" and quietly took out a bottle containing a dark brown liquid from her kimono, starting to non-chalantly add it to the yellow cream, to the point of turning it brown.

"…" Shock was written all over Hijikata's face. "What the…"

"It will be tastier than whatever yellow…thing you're thinking of eating."

She gave a pointed look at his meal, which was enough to make him snap at her. "Don't insult mayonnaise, you cocoa addict bastard!"

Kazua merely huffed, rolling her grey eyes at him. "At least I am eating something healthy unlike you who will easily become as fat as a pig…oh? If that happens, you won't be Bakagaki anymore…but a Butagaki!"

Hijikata glared at her, but she ignored him and started eating with gusto, looking at Kondou who had spluttered on his meal, probably because of the "pig" comment; a Toushi "pig" …that would never happen…right?

Sougo merrily joined this conversation, looking up from his own meal. "Hmmm…Butagaki…it fits you perfectly, Hijikata-san." His eyes were flickering with amusement. "Kazua-nee, we could roast him."

"But don't forget that pig meat is harder to eat when fatness overpowers the meat itself…" Pondered Mitsuba, her eyes glinting with something Kazua was sure it was a genetics thing among the Okita family. How can she say that with such a peaceful expression… "Mitsu, I am shocked…to think you'd say something like that…" Kazua added in a whisper-like voice, "Are you a closet S?"

"Haha-ue was pretty an S when she had to be." Innocently said Sougo. Kazua looked at him as if he was the strangest 9 year-old kid she had met. For his age, Sougo's vocabulary was…disturbing to say the least.

"Sou-chan…" Started reprimanding Mitsuba before a small smile appeared on her face; before, Sou-chan was always so bitter when Toushirou-san was with them. Kazua-chan's arrival chan had changed things a bit; Sou-chan would actually look at her with respect - because she had been the first person to ever defeat the Baragaki Toushi in a duel. Kondou-san's and the other members' jaw had merely dropped in disbelief. "And they call you Baragaki? For me, you're more like a Bakagaki, if you can fall for such a simple trick." Kazua-chan cheekily had said, pointing her shinai at his neck." As for Sou-chan, he was just laughing on the floor because the "undefeatable Baragaki" had lost to a girl whose androgenous appearance was enough to make them think she was a guy. Well, when she had met them, she was wearing male clothing and had used male pronouns...plus her face had a bishounen feel. However, during the duel, the sight of a B-cup in a supposedly male body had been enough to distract Toushirou-san's attention... which was Kazua-chan's cue for tripping him and consequently, make him kiss the dojo's ground...in only two seconds. Toushirou-san had the most flustered expression on his face when he had accused Kondou-san of not saying anything about Kazua-chan's gender, to which the kind dojo leader had placed a hand behind his head. "Ah, I guess...I forgot!" Toushirou-san obviously did not buy that excuse but had looked at Kazua-chan who in turn had smirked. Since then, Toushirou-san would always challenge her only to lose again….and again. As for Sou-chan, he and Kazua-chan had bonded in a very interesting way; they would find new ways to trick and humilliate Toushirou-san –harmlessly of course. Kazua-chan was quick to discover one thing in particular was enough to rile him up: to mess with his beloved mayonnaise, hence why he had reacted that way. Mitsuba giggled at his rather commical expression before start eating with gusto her "Mitsuba Special".

At her side, Kazua was now eyeing her "rival" with a "know-it-all" look. "You're sooo in denial." Her eyes twinkled with amusement at the visible blush that was forming on his cheeks.

"Shut up."