Fanboy And Chum Chum: Student Exchange

(A/N: I might as well clear this up right now. I'm not a huge fan of Fanboy and Chum Chum, but I can stand it now. I used to not be able to take it at all, then I saw an episode with Kyle while my brother was watching it. Surprisingly I found I actually don't mine Kyle, Sigmund, Mr. Mufflin, Lenny, and Janitor Poopatine. In fact, I credit the janitor with throwing me on a Star Wars kick. Normally I hate sci-fi, but Janitor Poopatine made me curious about the plot line of the Star Wars franchise. Not bad, really. I watch Fanboy and Chum Chum now in hope of seeing any of the characters I actually don't mind. In order to stick with the plot of the story, stay in character, and avoid OC's I had to watch more of them, though. This was honestly just an experiment to see what I could do with this.)

Student Exchange Program

Sigmund sighed deeply in annoyance as he walked off the set towards his trailer. Screaming fan-girls, as they were dubbed, were tailing him trying to get into his force field. Dull, as usual. He supposed he should be ecstatic. Any other preteen boy would be. It was just getting so dull and repetitive now. Why couldn't they just find a life and leave him alone? His fan base was spreading too. Now it wasn't just girls after him. Talk shows, reporters, adults, elderly, everything. How could life possibly get more drab?

He frowned in annoyance at his fan following and opened his trailer door. He turned, forced an indifferent smile, then bowed lowly to them before entering and slamming it shut. Outside he heard his producer shooing away the fans and other. Oh wonderful. Now he'd be stuck listening to that old fool suck up to him then drag him down. Sure enough the dressing room door opened and Sigmund boredly leaned against the desk, waiting. "Sigmund, baby, you were great out there, just great. I daresay that was your best trick yet."

"It iz not un trick. It iz magic," Sigmund stated flat out as he examined his nails trying not to look peeved. This whole bit was getting old.

"Sure, sure, it was great. Now about your next program," the producer said.

"I have just gotten off of zis one!" Sigmund protested. "Be gone und speak to me later. Shoo, shoo."

"That's show biz, Siggy kiddo. I'm thinking big grand finale, levitating something. Something big, something huge, something…" the producer began.

"Ugh, you push und push und push but vill not get vhen you are not vanted. Go now und leave me alone. I vant to take a nap," Sigmund brushed off, waving his hand in annoyance.

"We're not playing anymore, Sigmund. You'll work on this set and this trick until you can hardly walk straight. This needs to be perfect. You'll work without sleep if you have to," the producer insisted. Sigmund snapped his fingers, eyes narrowing, and the man was gone from his presence.

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Sigmund yawned. Annoying, as always. He looked around the dressing room and sifted through some new mail that had rolled in, eyes boredly scanning for something interesting to do besides read all the fan mail and invites and what not. All at once he paused and sat up straight, eyes becoming intrigued. "Vell, vell, vhat have ve here?" he questioned aloud, coming to a newsletter from Milkweed. An exchange program to the elementary school in Galaxy Hills… Galaxy Hills? Kyle was there. His eyes lit up. Now it held his attention. Try something new, join the student exchange program, you didn't even have to have someone come in your place. You could just go over. Hmm, maybe this was the answer to his boredom. Not like Milkweed could teach him anything he didn't already know, after all.

Just then the door opened and a familiar voice said, "Ah Mr. Sigmund. I trust you've found the newsletter." Professor Flan.

Sigmund turned curiously and answered, "Professor Flan?" To say he was shocked at the man's sudden appearance would be an understatement. He stared at him eyes wide. Hadn't Kyle turned him into a raspberry flan?

"Of course, my boy. I had hoped you would find that, you know. I also hope you've decided to give it a whirl," Flan declared.

"Vhy?" Sigmund questioned confusedly.

"To keep an eye on someone for me, you being on the Young Wizards Board and Re-admittance board and all," Flan answered.

Sigmund smirked coldly as he asked, "Kyle ze Constipator?"

"Conjurer, Sigmund, let's be civil here," Flan said, frowning. "But yes."

"Hey, that's great, it'll work out perfectly! Galaxy Hills is the base of our next shooting!" the producer suddenly exclaimed, appearing behind Flan. Sigmund frowned once more and crossed his arms, rolling his eyes and looking away. "Sigmund, you're not gonna pass up a golden opportunity like that, are you?"

They were challenging him, he knew. He wasn't impressed. "Oh shut up ze both of you. Ve vill see!" he sharply said, snapping his fingers and transporting them both out. He locked the door behind and turned back to the poster mulling the idea over. Finally he chuckled and smirked coldly. Perhaps he would go through with it after all. Oh, Kyle wouldn't know what hit him.

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"Remind me again why I'm going with you two?" Kyle questioned in annoyance as he trailed behind Fanboy and Chum Chum.

"Because you're our bestest friend, Kyle," Chum Chum replied, taking Kyle's hand and batting his eyelashes up at the wizard.

"Yeah, and that's what friends do. Stuff," Fanboy agreed. Kyle pulled free of Chum Chum's hand and rolled his eyes, not gracing the statements with a reply.

"Ugh, I have so many better things I could be doing right now," Kyle complained.

"Better than hanging out with your best friends?" Chum Chum asked as he and Fanboy put their arms around Kyle.

"Far," Kyle replied, unimpressed. Nonetheless, he continued to follow them. "Where are we going anyway?" he questioned.

"To the roof," Fanboy replied.

"The roof? Whatever for?" Kyle questioned.

"Where else can we show you the cool new super dance we came up with?" Chum Chum questioned.

"Right. With Janitor Poopatine and Mr. Mufflin stalking the halls for some reason, we certainly wouldn't be able to show you in the school," Fanboy replied.

"Why on Earth would I be the slightest bit interested in your stupid 'super dance?'" Kyle demanded. "I thought you actually had something interesting to show me."

"We do. The dance," Chum Chum answered.

Kyle sighed, saying, "I suppose I deserve it for walking right into that one."

"You bet," Fanboy and Chum Chum hyperactively said together, brimming over with excitement.

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"You three!" two voices shot together. The three froze with gasps and whirled.

"Mr. Mufflin, Janitor Poopatine!" the triad exclaimed together.

"And where do you boys think you're going?" Mr. Mufflin questioned.

"We're going to the roof!" Chum Chum exclaimed.

Fanboy covered his mouth quickly, saying, "Uh, what Chum Chum means to say is we're going to the, um, soup, uh, kitchen."

"Soup kitchen huh?" Mufflin asked as he and Poopatine exchanged incredulous looks.

"Oh yes, compared to the school cafeteria the soup kitchen is a five star buffet," Kyle said sardonically.

After a moment's suspicion, Poopatine remarked with a shrug, "The boy has a point. I should know. I clean that place."

"Well as long as you're back in time for classes," Mufflin declared.

"Yes sirs!" the three exclaimed. Instantly they bolted.

"I wonder why those two are suddenly so into the whole hall monitoring thing," Fanboy remarked.

"I haven't a clue," Kyle sarcastically said, inwardly scoffing. He knew full well why. These two super hero wannabes were a walking disaster area. He wondered at how the two faculty members hadn't become fed up with them long before now. If he were a teacher, he would have chained the dynamic duo to their desks and taped their mouths long ago. Better yet, trapped them behind a brick wall for a more Poe-esque touch.

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The boys burst onto the roof panting. They straightened up and Kyle went to the edge boredly looking over. Turning back to them he said, "All right, show me your stupid little dance already. Before we're late for class, preferably."

"Right! Ready Chum Chum?" Fanboy asked.

"Ready!" Chum Chum agreed. The two instantly began randomly singing words Kyle couldn't find had any clear direction other than being incredibly loud and obnoxious. He twitched and decided against scowling and covering his ears. Not like it would make any difference at all. Their dance lacked any semblance of order yet somehow they managed not to slam into each other and give him a good reason to taunt them. Sad how proud they were of it.

Kyle sighed in annoyance. Depressing, really, that these two were the only things remotely close to friends he had. Heck, with friends like them, who needed enemies? He had to admit, though, he did enjoy their company. Sometimes. The two finished their dance with some sort of improvised head spin twirl kick thingy. Unfortunately, he was right in its path, and Fanboy's foot struck him hard. He stumbled back towards the edge with a gasp!

At the edge he gasped again, staggering, trying to catch his balance. For a moment he had it and sighed in relief. Then Chum Chum was tossed into him and he flew over the edge of the school crying out in terror! "Help!" he screamed. Oh just his luck. Leave it to Fanboy and Chum Chum to cause him to either break every bone in his body or die and early death. He wasn't honestly too surprised, actually. He hoped it was death. He wasn't a fan of pain. Pain didn't work for him.

"Kyle!" Fanboy and Chum Chum exclaimed in alarm, gasping and leaping for the edge to look over in horror.

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Inside Janitor Poopatine, who had just separated from Mufflin in order to clean the halls while Mufflin got coffee, heard a scream and raised an eyebrow, suspiciously looking over at the window. He went to it and looked out. He gasped on seeing that wizard boy in Mr. Mufflin's class, Kyle he believed it was, toppling down! What was he even doing up there? He supposed he should do something about it. After all, he wasn't about to clean up that mess. He threw open the window, and as the child plummeted passed him he quickly reached out and seized the boy's hand. "I've got you. Stop screaming!" Poopatine ordered.

Kyle gulped and looked up with wide hopeful eyes. "Janitor Poopatine! You saved me!" he exclaimed. The janitor pulled him up to the window and inside.

"Kyle!" Fanboy called.

"Kyle, are you all right!" Chum Chum added.

"You two, get to class! He's fine!" Poopatine called back up to them, looking out the window. Loudly he slammed it shut, signalling that playtime was over.

"I'm alive!" Kyle exclaimed, suddenly leaping onto the janitor and hugging him tightly, laughing in relief. Poopatine, startled at first, frowned and shoved the wizard down. "I'm alive. I lived! I can continue on the path of life!"

"May the force be with you then. Now get out of my way," Poopatine directed, climbing back onto Brenda and harrumphing.

"Wait!" Kyle exclaimed. Poopatine scowled at him, waiting. "Um, thank you sir," Kyle continued.

"But of course. I wasn't about to clean up that mess. Now get to class," Poopatine answered. With that he drove off, Kyle watching after him in awed disbelief.

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Poopatine rounded the corner and nearly ran into Mufflin. Luckily Brenda stopped in time as Poopatine gasped. Mufflin never flinched. "There you are," Mufflin said.

"Incident with a student," Poopatine answered. "One of your little brats was plummeting from the roof."

"Fanboy, Chum Chum or Suck-up?" Mufflin questioned as they started walking. Rather, Mufflin walked, Poopatine rode Brenda.

"Suck up, I mean Kyle," Poopatine answered.

"Figures. That boy has no luck," Muffling remarked. "Didja hear about the exchange program?"

"Unfortunately. A waste of time and money, as far as I'm concerned," Poopatine said. "Includes young adults as well, doesn't it?"

"Why someone would want to come back to the elementary school is beyond me," Mufflin replied.

"Learning opportunity for them perhaps? Without practicum stresses," Poopatine offered.

"Probably," Mufflin agreed. "Sign up sheet's by the main office."

"Tell it to someone who cares," Poopatine replied. As they passed they looked, and both froze with gasps, Mufflin dropping his coffee.

There was silence, then Mufflin said, "Didn't you say you didn't care?"

"I did!" Poopatine exclaimed.

"Then why is your name on the sheet?" Mufflin asked.

"I haven't the faintest idea!" Poopatine shot, tone getting outraged.

All at once Brenda began to beep. Poopatine gasped and looked down at her in horror. "What's it saying?" Mufflin questioned.

"Brenda, you didn't!" Poopatine exclaimed. "She says she was the one who signed me up!" The chair beeped more and Poopatine began, "But Brenda…" She beeped more and he said, "You thought it would be an interesting experience? It won't! And what's this? Milkweed! Are you insane? I already have one wizard to clean up after let alone another!" Brenda beeped sadly. "Yes, dear Brenda, I understand it must be difficult for you to unleash your motherly instincts as a mechanical chair…" She beeped again. "Brenda, I'm just not into it," he insisted. One long drawn out beep and he sighed, saying, "Very well. You win this time."

Mufflin watched the exchange in morbid fascination. It was seriously weirding him out, and it was disturbing to say the least. "All right then. Now that that's done…" he began.

Poopatine reached out and grabbed the retreating teacher's arm, saying, "Not so fast Hank. If I'm going to be stuck in this predicament, you'll be stuck with me."

"Russ, you've lost your mind," Mufflin declared. "I'm not about to…"

Brenda lifted him into the air, and Poopatine growled menacingly, as one of her claws turned into a sharp point, "You were saying."

Mufflin blinked then grabbed the pencil and quickly signed for an intern, saying, "There, happy now?"

"Very," Poopatine said with a pleased smirk. With that he placed the teacher down.

"Good, cause I'm not. Now let's get to work," Mufflin said. With that the two separated.

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"Kyle!" Chum Chum and Fanboy exclaimed, bursting into the class room and latching onto him like leeches.

"We were afraid you would be nothing but a splat on the ground!" Chum Chum exclaimed.

"But you're alive!" Fanboy cried.

"Will you two get off of me!" Kyle barked, viciously shoving them down. "Of course I'm all right. Janitor Poopatine rescued me."

"Poop," Chum Chum chimed.

"Wait, he saved you? Wow, the guy must be quicker than I thought," Fanboy remarked.

"Quite," Kyle said, disinterested and turning back to his book.

"Are you gonna thank him?" Chum Chum asked.

"I already did," Kyle said.

"No silly, with a present," Chum Chum added.

"Of course not. What am I, indebted to him? It's his job to make sure students are safe," Kyle answered.

"Kyle, he saved your life," Fanboy declared.

"So I'll zap the school clean for him," Kyle bit.

"Ooh, I know, give him a father's day present!" Chum Chum exclaimed.

"It's not even close to father's day," Kyle retorted. "Besides, I have no father." Lie.

"All the more reason to," Fanboy pressed.

"Sit down and pipe down!" Mr. Mufflin shot from the front as he came in. Fanboy and Chum Chum blinked at the teacher, then quickly moved back to their desks. Kyle rolled his eyes. His expression, though, became ponderous.

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Lenny leaned on the countertop boredly, flipping through a magazine. Boog was late… again. Nothing out of the ordinary there. He sighed dismally. At least the costumed weirdos hadn't come in yet. As if that would last long. Soon enough school would be over and they would flock here. "Hey Lenny!" Boog called, loudly throwing open the door.

Lenny looked up, annoyed, and said, "About time. Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Yeah, it's time ta get ma game on with Chimp Chomp," Boog answered. "Poster for ya in the mail." He tossed it onto the counter nonchalantly, adding, "Somethin' 'bout some program for interns and stuff to Galaxy Hills' elementary school."

"Really? That's new," Lenny remarked, curiously picking it up and glancing through. "You get paid for it!" he exclaimed, reading through. "Work under a teacher of Galaxy Hills, said teacher will be your mentor, not time consuming, flexible, money, jackpot! Finally a break!" Lenny exclaimed excitedly. "I can finally get out of this place!"

"Hey, keep it down! I'm chimping over here!" Boog ordered.

Lenny frowned then grinned at the paper excitedly. "Oh boy, sign me up," he said aloud. He was so getting into this opportunity.

"Chomping here!" Boog shot again. Lenny scowled at his employee but said nothing more on the subject. He smiled once more at the newsletter.