Hello all! I have decided to create this one shot after watching the recent episode of Grey's. After seeing Meredith kiss Deluca, it just didn't feel right in my heart. So here I am, hoping to somewhat "fix" the episode. I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy and this is solely fanfiction.
I saw you in a dream,
you had stayed the same
you were beckoning me
said that I had changed.
I want you so bad,
then I awoke and it was so sad.
I saw you in a dream
then it came tonight
I wonder if you'll come and visit me again
you take your time to reappear
I'm starting to believe that when I call your name.
"Saw You In A Dream" the Japanese House
"If we're really lucky, time stands still." - Meredith Grey [season 15, episode 12]
"Meredith..." The voice slowly grew louder as Meredith Grey opened her eyes. A blinding light was her only view. The voice, it sounded familiar. It was the same voice who once comforted her, the same voice who whispered sweet nothings in her ears, the same voice she hadn't heard since that fateful day.
"I'll be back before you know it." That was what Derek had said, but he never made it back. Meredith closed her eyes once again, trying to remove the pain the memories brought. She could've swore she was just kissing the Italian boy a few moments ago. The voice called out her name again, this time, when she opened her eyes, it was met by the blue eyes she missed.
"Derek?" She asked, her voice almost a whisper. The Derek in front of her was alive and well. The same hotshot surgeon she fell in love with. He smiled.
"Mer.."
Meredith scrunched up the blue sheets in her hands. She was sitting against the headboard now, while Derek sat at the far end of the bed.
"I'm dreaming right?" Meredith started, "You're...Is this the Alzheimer's talking...Did it finally get to me? Oh god, the kids... Der-"
"It's good to know your rambling hasn't changed..." Derek chuckled and sat closer next to Meredith. Meredith was hesitant to touch his face, she had to be dreaming. Derek must've sensed what she was thinking because he reached out to stroke her face. Meredith hadn't notice the tears streaming down her face.
"Derek, you're supposed to be dead." Meredith said.
"I am."
"Am I dreaming? Derek, I need to know if I have Alzheimer's...the kids..."
"You're dreaming. I just...this is the only way to talk to you." Derek smiled sadly. Meredith smiled a little, it all felt too real. A dream. It was just a dream, it will be over soon.
They sat in silence. It was only then Meredith realized that they were in the dream house. She hasn't seen the house since she sold it off. It was the house Derek built, the house she was supposed to grow old in. The house that the kids should be growing up in.
"Why are we in the dream house?" Meredith said, breaking the silence.
"Come on, before the kids get up."
"The kids?"
"They're in this dream too." Derek slowly got off their bed and reached out his hand to pull Meredith off the bed. Meredith was still trying to process being in the same room as her husband again. Derek opened the door and led her to the living room. The living room was the same, except some things changed here and there.
The kitchen fridge were plastered with drawings from the kids, Meredith couldn't help but notice a drawing Ellis made with a complete family portrait of stick figures, with Derek as well. A dog, too.
"When did we get a dog?" Meredith couldn't help but laugh. Derek playfully pouted.
"Don't tell me you don't remember Doc.." Derek smiled. Meredith's eyes lit up in a way it hasn't lit up in years...
"Doc's here?" Meredith said hopeful.
"He's sleeping with Ellis..." Derek explained. Meredith's eyes were stinging once again. Her heart dropped, not in a bad way, but more like a relieved kind of way.
"You met Ellis."
"She's beautiful."
"I know. She's obsessed with hiphop."
"Hiphop?" Derek raised an eyebrow, "And ofcourse, she looks like a carbon copy of me, only as a girl." Derek winked.
"I miss you." Meredith suddenly blurted out. She couldn't help herself but wrap her arms around Derek, around the chest he has missed so much. She missed the way his body perfectly molded against hers. Derek's body immediately relaxed as he wrapped his strong arms around her tiny body. He smiled as he kissed the top of her head.
Meredith looked up and leaned in, but Derek stopped her.
"Not yet," Derek smiled as he tucked a piece of her hair back, "or it'll be over."
Meredith nodded in understanding as both of them walked their way outside. The front yard now had a bench overlooking the view in front of the dream house. The bench sat where Meredith once stood waiting for Derek with the house of candles. The two sat down on the bench and took a deep breath.
"You know, I'm always there by your side," Derek said, "whenever you look up and smile, I know... but lately, you've stopped doing that."
Derek continued.
"You've moved on."
Those words were ringing in Meredith's ears. She felt like she had been cheating on her dead husband. She looked at him.
"Derek...I will never stop loving you."
"Does that mean you have to get rid of every memory we had?" Derek smiled and looked down, staring at the ground.
Meredith's eyes suddenly welled with tears, flashes of the post it note, the tumor on the wall, and the trailer swirled her head.
"I had to.. I couldn't fathom not having you with me. Derek, if I kept those memories around, I don't think I would have been able to function... The kids, they wouldn't have a mom." Meredith said, she couldn't stop the tears from flowing.
"I know I left too soon..." Derek said, turning his head and wipe Meredith's tears away. She leaned against his hand and smiled. "I'm sorry."
"Things happen, especially to us... Our world, it's fucked up." Meredith laughed, as she choked back her tears. Derek pulled her in for a hug, Meredith leaning her head on his shoulders as he looked straight ahead. Their hands were still intertwined.
"Does the Italian boy make you happy?" Derek asked sincerely.
"I don't know." Meredith answered, because she didn't know what she felt towards Deluca.
"Can you promise me one thing?" Derek asked, looking down at Meredith and meeting her eyes.
"Of course."
"Spend more time with the kids and visit me," He smiled, "You work too much..." and chuckled.
Meredith missed that chuckle. She missed the twinkle in his eyes whenever he talked. He missed him.
"I don't think I've ever moved on from you, I don't think I ever will."
"Good." Derek laughed jokingly.
"Shut up," Meredith giggled, as she rubbed her eyes.
"Just know, If you feel like you're ready, and he's good with the kids, don't be afraid to let yourself be happy. I don't want it to just be you." Derek said.
She didn't think that she would dream about her dead husband and talking to him about his future date. For a second, she felt like it wasn't a dream. For a moment, she wanted to stay in her dream, forever, to stay with Derek.
"I don't want you to go again," Meredith whispered.
"I promised you I will always show up, I may not be there with you in person, but I am there with you in spirit." Derek kissed her forehead.
"Cheesy." Meredith smiled, "Der?"
"Hm?"
"I..I love you and I miss you. Everyday."
"Me too."
Derek and Meredith faced each other, they both smiled a small smile. Even in the dream their feelings towards each other resonated. They had been apart for way too long. Derek reached out to touch Meredith's cheek, and leaned in. They kissed, like they haven't kissed in forever. It was the right kiss, the kiss that will never be replaced. They were in their own little world and it seemed as if they were never going to escape it.
Tears started streaming down Meredith's eyes inbetween the kiss, she couldn't help but smile. She hasn't smiled that way since Derek left that day, the day he wanted to change is flight so he could stay with her a little longer. Meredith closed her eyes to savor the moment, her hands finding their way into his raven curls.
She opened her eyes, and instead of blue eyes, she met hazel eyes. The arms around her waist weren't the strong arms she was used too. The feeling she had in her stomach wasn't the butterfly feeling. Meredith pulled back, the person stairing back at her, confused. Meredith was back to reality.
"That...Deluca, I'm sorry but I can't do this." Meredith said.
Deluca flashed a wounded and concerned look, thinking what just happened. He thought that he just won her heart, apparently not.
"You're going to see Link, aren't you?" Deluca asked.
"No, I have another important person to see. I gotta go." Meredith reached for her jacket that fell and put it around her shoulders. She went back inside and rushed home.
The following morning she decided to cancel the nanny for the day, she called the hospital to ask for a day off. Amelia then called her.
"Mer, where the hell are you?"
"At home with the kids." Meredith smiled to herself as she flipped the pancakes and looking at the kids eating breakfast.
"Meredith, it's thursday. They should be at school. Are you okay?" Amelia asked with concern in her tone.
"We're visiting Derek." Meredith said. She heard Amelia let out a breath.
"Oh. That's good. Tell him hi for me."
"I will."
"Mer?"
"Yeah?"
"You haven't visited in years. What changed your mind?"
"Him."
Amelia didn't push farther and said goodbye, she knew that her brother somehow, beyond the grave told Meredith to do it. If anybody could do that, it would be Derek Christopher Shepherd.
Meredith carried the plate of pancakes on the table where Zola, Bailey, and Ellis were all eating.
"Mommy, where are we going today?" Zola asked.
Meredith smiled.
"We're gonna go visit daddy. So hurry and finish breakfast so we can go."
Zola smiled, as did Bailey. Ellis couldn't help but smile herself even though she had no idea what was going on. After breakfast, Meredith and the kids got ready to go and visit Derek's grave, something he hasn't done.
Before stepping outside the door, Bailey asked where they would go after.
"Well, we're gonna go take a ferry ride and visit the old house..." Meredith explained.
"The dream house?" Zola asked excitedly.
"Yes, I thought it would be fun to revisit it, to see how it's doing."
The kids cheered. They still remember bits and pieces of the dream house, maybe because that was where all their good memories were made, where their last memory of Derek was made.
Meredith lead the kids to the car. She buckled up Ellis and closed the door. Before stepping in the the driver's seat, she looked up and smiled. It had been unusually sunny today.
"Thank you." She whispered, knowing that Derek would be listening.
That's it folks! I know it was short, but I hope you enjoyed. Reviews and thoughts are much appreciated.