Binas: THIS IS A PLOT BUNNY! ANYONE CAN ADOPT THIS!

Also, this plot bunny was partly proof-read by my little sister. She also taught me what my previous English teachers FAILED, and I mean as in NEVER taught me, which is the proper way to write quotes. Man, for the majority of my writing life, I always thought ["something.", said blank] was correct. I feel like such an idiot now! -.- So give a round of applause to my sister, Kira, for teaching me something that my teachers never taught me.

Now, the experiment that is preformed in the bunny was inspired by the one done in CSIalchemist's "CSI Phantom". So, shout out to her!

And don't get me wrong, I love Deidara (I fangirl over him). However, this was too easy to do.

Here are the rules. You don't have to follow them perfectly.

1) No slash
2) Danny and Dani can pop up and give Vlad heck (and make some really bad jokes like "When I said get a cat, I didn't say get litter of kittens")
3) The Akatsuki must turn back at some point (try to be original)
4) Some of the members can be used for experiments (Like Hidan because he is immortal)
5) Vlad can try to name them all Maddie if he fails to realize only one of them is female
6) The Akatsuki must give Vlad some sort of trouble (Like Hidan sacrificing, Deidara and Sasori fighting about art (bonus points if they comment on the ugly painting from "Livin' Large"), and if there, Tobi driving everyone insane)
7) The Akatsuki must discover Vlad and/or Danny's secret of being Human-Ghost Hybrids (which shouldn't be hard if they are still cats)
8) You can make certain members of the Akatsuki (particularly the ones that tick off Vlad the most while they are still cats (ones with the highest chance to tick Vlad off in order from least to greatest: Deidara, Hidan, and Tobi)) Human-Ghost Hybrids if Vlad uses them in experiments (primarily trying to find a work around the unstable issue by trying to make a full human clone then making the clone a hybrid)
9) POST D-STABILIZED AND PRE-PHANTOM PLANET
10) You can have Hidan get mauled/fatally hurt (i.e. getting his head chopped off) if you want for dark comedy

Now to have some fun! Since this is a plot bunny, I will not be using all of the Akatsuki members. I will, however, use the ones I know.

Key:
{"Cat speak" ...}
{AN: Author's Note}
'Thoughts of anyone'

NOTICE: Tobi is just Tobi Uchiha in this. He isn't Obito pretending to be Madara who is pretending to be Tobi.

.

If there was one thing that could tick off a lonely, bitter guy in his forties, it would be this. Vlad had woken up in the morning to find a basket on his front porch with three oddly colored kittens. One of the kittens had pure, blood red fur and a Kanji symbol of sorts over its heart. The second was a shocking blonde, almost yellow, color with a long tuft of fur swaying from right to left, effectively covering the kitten's left eye. The third, however, made Vlad grind his teeth. It was primarily black with an orange swirl of fur on its face. The exact same colors that the oaf known as Jack Fenton wore every single day.

"If this is your doing, Daniel, I am not very pleased," Vlad said as he glared at the kittens.

Before Vlad could even shut the door, the kittens dashed out of the basket at a speed that no ordinary kittens would normally have. The black and orange one began bouncing all over the place, meowing an annoying song. The blonde cat looked ready to kill the black and orange one, which Vlad had no qualms about except for the fact he didn't want blood all over his mansion. The red kitten just glared at the other two, not exactly happy that it was stuck in the same room as the blonde and black kittens.

"Butter biscuits, I didn't invite you in!" Vlad yelled at the kittens, "Get out of my mansion this instant!"

All the kittens gave what seemed to be a "whatever" or a "screw you" look. Vlad tried to grab the cats, but at every turn, the kittens would somehow evade him. When he moved to grab the blonde kitten, said kitten began hissing and swatting at Vlad. It gave a defiant glare at Vlad, as if it were saying "I am not going anywhere, and you can't make me, you sack of wrinkles".

After what seemed to be an hour, Vlad gave up on trying to get rid of the cats. The kittens were just too persistent and every time Vlad thought he got them out of the mansion, they just get back in somehow. This made Vlad very annoyed.

"I swear Daniel, if you trained them to do this, I will get back at you for torturing me with them!" Vlad sneered.

Sasori wanted to go back to being dead. While it was against his views of art of being transcendent and everlasting, he didn't want to go through the heck he was being put through. When he learned that the subordinate, Tobi, took his place as Deidara's partner, he was both slightly amused and extremely annoyed. Tobi would not stop talking, bouncing around, and making a general idiot of himself and the other members Akatsuki. That wasn't the only reason though, he was ticked at Tobi for finding a way to bring him back to life AND turning him into a cat along with Deidara. He could care less if Tobi was a cat or not.

What also bothered Sasori was the fact that he felt absolutely no Chakra in the area, despite there being life. It was just creepy, and he doesn't even feel emotions! He had a very bad feeling about the world they were in.

Deidara on the other hand, was ready to kill the little piece of crap for putting them in this mess and didn't even care if the world had no Chakra. He didn't want to be a cat period. He couldn't make his fleeting, explosive art without his hands and the mouths that adorned them. And taking Deidara's ability to make art was possibly the worst mistake Tobi has ever made.

The artistic duo was currently hiding from Tobi in the old guy's spacious house. Both could agree the man had an awful taste in decor and art.

{"Master Sasori, look at this, hm," Deidara said and pointed his paw at something.}

With bored eyes, Sasori looked up to see what the brat had to show. He wished he hadn't though. Before him was a painting of the old man in a weird red coat and an even weirder hat. He scowled at the monstrosity that lay before him on the wall.

{"Disgusting," Sasori said with narrowed eyes, "No words can describe how horrendous that is."}

{"So you agree with me. I thought you would defend that thing," Deidara said.}

A tick mark appeared on Sasori's furry forehead. He drew back his paw and slapped it across Deidara's face.

{"Ow…" Deidara said flatly.}

{"You are such a brat! As if I would let such a disgrace to art be protected!" Sasori sneered, "It's a mockery of art!"}

{"Geez, don't have to be so harsh," Deidara said, "Take it out on the painting, not on me, hm. There is no way I am touching it."}

{"Why would that be?" Sasori asked with an eyebrow raised.}

{"First of all, I can't make my art!" Deidara said, getting a bit frustrated, "And second of all, I would be defying the true meaning of art!"}

{"I wouldn't call those explosions art, brat," Sasori said in a bored monotone.}

{"When will you get it, Master Sasori?! Art is fleeting! It is there one moment and -BAM!- gone the next! It is the beauty of a single moment and is only kept alive by the memories in one's mind!" Deidara ranted.}

{"All you just described is an explosion, not art.", Sasori pointed out.}

{"Because explosions are works of art, hm!" Deidara argued.}

Vlad groaned as the black and orange cat crawled all over him. It meowed non-stop and played with his ponytail. The black and orange cat seemed to have made its life purpose to prevent Vlad from plotting evil schemes and getting vengeance on Danny.

"Will. You. Shut. UP!" Vlad yelled as the cat tore Vlad's last nerve with a long and loud meow, "If I give you kittens a name, would you leave me alone?"

The cat seemed to have understood what Vlad said. Vlad could tell because the cat nodded its tiny, furry head with a meow. He would have to look into this, even his first cat, Maddie, couldn't understand what he said on this level. However, this feeling of the fact that the cat understood Vlad as if it actually knew what he said was quite disturbing in a sense.

{"Oh yes, please Mr. Old Guy sir! I know you can give me a wonderful name!" the black and orange cat said.}

"Interesting..." Vlad mused and got up with the kitten still on his head, "Let's go find the other two before they torment Maddie."

Vlad walked through his mansion, searching for the two other cats as the black and orange one followed from behind. When he found the other two, he wished he hadn't. The blonde kitten and the red kitten were fighting rather violently. Too violent for normal cats, much less kittens. It was almost as if he were watching two teenagers fighting. The fact it was in front of his ghost portal didn't faze Vlad. They were just cats, right? Maddie the cat knew his secret as a Human-Ghost Hybrid and didn't mind. So Vlad saw no harm in them fighting where they were.

Vlad stepped in and separated the red and blonde cats, effectively getting their attention.

"Okay kitties, this annoying and obnoxious little friend of yours has convinced me I need to give you three a name.", Vlad said as he picked up the black and orange by the scruff of its neck, "So how does all three of you having the name Maddie sound?"

All three cats did epic face plants on the ground. They got up and glared at Vlad. And surprisingly, the black and orange one even glared.

{"WE AREN'T GIRLS, YOU OLD MAN!" All three kittens shouted.}

Vlad frowned. He then realized he forgot something. If these cats could understand him, then he would have to know their genders so that he could give them a proper name.

"I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice," Vlad said narrowing his eyes and picked up the blonde one, who began to struggle and hiss, "Oh for fudge's sake, calm down, will you? Did I not just say I did not want to do this?"

{"Uh, yeah, hm. And that means you have to do it," the blonde one retorted, causing the black and orange one to snicker.}

Vlad then invaded the poor blonde cat's private areas to find out the blondie was a guy. Vlad blinked and realized that moment why the cat didn't want to be named Maddie.

"Oh... I guess the name Maddie isn't meant for you," Vlad said, "If you would have been a girl, I would have told you to forget about it and deal with it."

Vlad repeated the process with the remaining two cats to make sure none of the kittens were trying to hid being female. In the end, all three kittens turned out to be males. This made things rather difficult for Vlad. He was not going to name the orange face black cat after the man who ruined his life. Not only would that be a reminder to why he hated Jack, Jack would think of it as a sign of forgiveness. He was not going to go there, it was bad enough Jack tried calling him every week since he became mayor.

'And I thought you would be smart enough to figure out what I meant by the phrase "when I think of the number two, I think of you", Jack Fenton.', Vlad thought bitterly, 'I guess I over estimated you.'

A sound of scratching awoken Vlad from his deep thoughts of hatred. He turned to the source of the sound and found that his walls were stained in blood. Kitten blood for that matter. His eyes widened in horror.

"What in the cheddar is the meaning of this?!" Vlad yelled, "What did you three do to the wall?!"

The blonde and red kitten gave Vlad a 'we don't care' look as their tails swished. The orange faced black cat on the other hand, was pawing at the scribbles he made with his own blood. When Vlad did a double take at the blood, he realized they weren't mere scribbles. In fact, they reminded him of the symbol that was on the red kitten's chest.

"Be right back. Touch nothing," Vlad said.

Vlad then did something none of the kittens expected at all. Period. A pair of black rings of spectral energy formed around Vlad's waist and split in two different directions. As the rings passed over his body, the black business suit he wore was replaced by a white one with a red handkerchief in the collar, a black belt, black boots, and black gloves. On his shoulders appear and white cape with a red inside. His hair went from a white-gray pony tail to pure black hair that was in the shape of oversized devil horns. What really freaked out the three kittens most was Vlad's eyes and skin. His eyes went from normal pupil-less dark blue eyes with a sclera to eerie glowing red eyes with no sclera, and his skin went from a healthy peachy color to a sickly blue color.

All three kittens promptly let their jaws drop dramatically with gigantic blank anime white eyes and a blue shade dripping from their foreheads. Vlad looked at the kittens. Vlad blinked a bit before flying off, through the wall, shocking the three kittens some more.

'You three have yet to cease to surprise me... In all of my years of living, I have never seen cats like you three,' Vlad thought, 'Maybe I can use this to my advantage...'

{"Did you just see that, you guys?!" Tobi asked.}

Deidara pounced on Tobi's back, fed up with Tobi and his childish demeanor.

{"Of course we did, you fool!" Deidara said, "You'd have to be brain dead to not see a guy transform like that, hm!"}

{"But, people who have no Chakra shouldn't be able to use Ninjutsu!" Tobi said, "Much less be alive!"}

{"Both of you, shut up and let me think," Sasori said as he massaged his head with his paws, "Look, we aren't in our own world anymore. So it is only logical for there to be some contradictory."}

Deidara nodded, understanding every word Sasori said. Tobi on the other hand, didn't and scratched his ear with his paw.

{"Um, I don't understand a word you are saying, Mr. Sasori," Tobi said.}

Deidara rolled his eyes, and sighed.

{"Master Sasori means that since we are no longer in the Elemental Nations, it is possible for the people around here to have things that go against what we know about Chakra and Ninjutsu," Deidara simplified, "Get it now, or are you still trying to get the facts through your pea sized brain, hm?"}

{"I do get it, but just one question..." Tobi said.}

{"What is it?" Deidara groaned.}

{"Can you simplify your simplification?" Tobi asked.}

Deidara face pawed and began to seethe with annoyance. He faced Sasori, looking very annoyed.

{"See what I have to deal with every single day since you died, hm?" Deidara asked with a glare.}

{"Yes, I do. And you deserve it," Sasori said.}

{"Master Sasori!" Deidara growled, "What have I ever done to deserve this idiot of a shinobi?! He can't even fight a group of Genin on his own! A GROUP OF FREAKING GENIN!"}

Sasori gave a nonchalant look at Deidara. His tail swayed a bit side to side.

{"Honestly, Deidara, you fail to see the reason why a Genin is considered the most dangerous type of shinobi," Sasori said, "Because of this, I will tell you. You have no idea what that idiot is going to do. He might actually do something by accident a severally cripple you and possibly himself. Take that Nine Tails Jinchuriki, Naruto Uzumaki, for example. I could feel how powerful the Demonic Chakra from inside the cave. That, you brat, is not something you would brush off as weak."}

Deidara glared at Sasori, not liking the answer he was getting. In a way, Sasori just said that Tobi was dangerous, which was impossible for anyone to believe. And he brought up his greatest failure into the mix as well! He swore at Sasori under his breath, hoping Sasori wouldn't realize the words he used.

Vlad returned to the kittens with a book titled "Symbols, Hieroglyphs, and Asian Characters for Dimwits". He began flipping through the book as he held it up to the scribbles of blood that were in the wall. Once he founded the page that had them, he began to try to decipher them. What surprised him was that scribbles were actually a mixture of Katakana and Kanji, one of the Japanese writing systems. The first set had the characters "赤砂のサソリ", which seemed to roughly translate into "Scorpion of the Red Sand". Vlad frowned and moved onto the next one, which was equally weird. It had the characters "デイダラ", and had no translation at all. The third one was a bit odd in of itself, but had a translation. The characters were "トビ", which translated into "to fly" and "kite".

"So these scribbles that you made are your names, am I correct?" Vlad asked.

All three kittens nodded. Vlad pointed at the red kitten.

"So your name is Scorpion of the Red Sand?" Vlad asked.

The red cat shook his head.

"How can that not be your name if you said that writing was your name?!" Vlad asked, a bit annoyed.

The red cat frowned at Vlad and looked at the book. Once he had a good look, he went back to the wall and bit his paw, drawing blood. As soon as he had enough blood on his paw, he began to write with, surprisingly, the English Alphabet. When the red kitten was done, Vlad began to read the writing. It simply read "Sasori of the Red Sand".

"Your name is Sasori then, is it?" Vlad asked.

The newly named Sasori nodded and walked away. Vlad then figured to skip the blonde kitten's writing and went to the orange faced black kitten's.

"And you have a rather bizarre name," Vlad said, "Who the blazes names their cat "To fly" or after a species of bird?"

The orange face black cat began to snicker. He bounced to the book for reference like Sasori did. He took his paw, made it bleed, and wrote "Tobi" underneath his Katakana.

"I should have guessed..." Vlad said flatly.

Tobi at that moment, out of pride and happiness, rushed out of the room. He was most likely going to go see how long he would last bothering Sasori.

Vlad approached the blonde kitten's writing. Now that he knew the names didn't use literal translations, it was actually rather easy to figure out the remaining kitten's name.

"And your name is Deidara," Vlad said, "How could I not see this sooner? Just go, you blonde demon."

Deidara rolled his eyes and jumped up on the ledge near Vlad's football trophy.

"What are you doing?" Vlad asked.

Vlad swore he saw a demonic slasher grin grew on Deidara's furry face. He paled as he saw Deidara lift his hind leg.

"Don't you dare! Don't even think of it!" Vlad snapped.

Deidara's demonic smirk just grew as Vlad's anger rose. It was as if Deidara wanted to see Vlad suffer. A stream of urine erupted from Deidara and onto the ugly painting. Vlad screamed in disgust, anger, and horror.

{"Now it looks better, hm!" Deidara said as he gave an evil chuckle.}

"UGH! YOU MISERABLE CAT! YOU RUINED ONE OF MY BEST PAINTINGS IN MY MANSION!" Vlad hollered.

Deidara snickered and once more began to write on the wall in blood. He wrote the characters "芸術は爆発だ". The evil blonde kitten then jumped down and began to walk away proudly. Vlad quickly translated the characters with his book.

"Art is an explosion," Vlad read and glared in the direction Deidara walked off in, "What in the Ghost Zone is wrong with that cat?"

{AN: I don't know where to include this, but by this point, Vlad has already introduced himself.}

Later that night, all three kittens were asleep on their own little cat beds near Maddie the cat. For some strange reason, after they met that cat, Maddie the cat began taking care of them as if they were her own babies. And it was annoying. Whenever the kittens wanted to spar in their kitten bodies, Maddie the cat would break up the "fight".

A shadow loomed over the three kittens. The shadowed figure took out a needle two empty tubes and a tube that was filled with a neon green liquid that gave off an eerie light. It chuckled evilly and plunged the needle into Deidara's skin at a 45 degree angle. Deidara twitched a bit in his kitty slumber, but none of the less, remained asleep. The figure inserted the two empty tubes into the needle and began to drain some blood. After they were filled, the figure removed them and inserted the tube with the glowing, neon green liquid. The liquid began to drain into Deidara's body.

"This is what you get for being a bad kitty, Deidara," The shadowed figure said, giving a slasher smirk at its little unwitting guinea pig.

Vlad woke the next morning to three very loud snores. He tried to drown out the snores, thinking it was just the kittens. He then realized, cats don't snore that loud or that deeply. He sat up in bed, slightly drowsy from his busy night of researching and experimentation so he could successfully clone Danny. What he found was really unexpected. He saw a grown man and two teenagers wearing long, bulky, black cloaks with red clouds surrounded by white outlines sleeping in the cat beds. He had to admit, they seemed scrawnier than Danny, which was saying something. Little did he know, those men were rather muscular.

Vlad then recognized something about them. The colors of their hair. The first one had blood red hair that was very shaggy and unkempt. The second one had very long blonde hair that was kept in a half ponytail and had bangs the swept right to left, covering his left eye. The third one had shaggy black hair, but what was interesting about this one was the fact he wore an orange mask that had a spiral indentation that erupted from his right eye. He knew at that moment, these men were the kittens.

"How in the name of evil did this happen?" Vlad asked, surprised by his find before going wide eyed, "Oh butter biscuits! They know my secret!"

At that moment, Tobi woke up and it was loud.

"Hey! We're are humans again! Isn't this great you guys?" The now human Tobi shouted with glee.

Sasori just groaned and turned his back away from Tobi. He didn't personally care if he were human or a cat. He just wanted to be art again. A human puppet to be exact.

'At least is can be a human puppet instead of kitten puppet,' Sasori thought.

"Shut up, hm!" Deidara moaned in his partial sleep, "Just go back to sleep!"

Tobi rushed over to Deidara's side and began pouncing on him. Vlad observed the situation in front of him. If he wanted to know how to keep these three quiet, he would need to know as much as he could about them. He wished it didn't have to be this rambunctious. It was almost as bad as the time Danny had his emotions tied to the weather!

"But come on, senpai! Don't you want to make your art again? You have your village's Kinjutsu again!" Tobi shouted.

'Kinjutsu?' Vlad thought.

That got Deidara up a little more. He seemed a bit irked though.

"Tobi, if this is just to tick me off more than usual, I swear I- HUH?!" Deidara began.

Deidara saw his hands and turned them palm side up. Vlad gave a highly disgusted look and gagged. Deidara had mouths on the palm of his hands! And they were drooling and flicking their tongues everywhere! A large, crazed grin began to grow on the blonde's face. He seemed to actually like the extra mouths!

"I can make my art again, hm! Yes!" Deidara cheered and jumped out the window like a mad man.

Vlad saw this and gave a "what the heck is wrong with you" look. Just when he was sure Deidara fell to his death, a large white bird soared up in front of the window with Deidara standing on top of it. The commotion caused by Deidara's outburst woke up Sasori, who gave an expressionless look at his former partner's abnormal antics.

"I see Tobi has been a bad influence on you, Deidara," Sasori said, "I knew you lacked common sense, but this is just ridiculous..."

Vlad tried to sneak out of the room at that moment. He needed to find a place that was quiet to process what he had just witnessed. One would expect that being part ghost would make everything that was not normal seem like nothing. In this case, however, Vlad didn't have that luxury. This was beyond what anyone would call weird. This was just madness and made Vlad wonder if Danny had spiked his water when he was not looking for a cheap laugh. A prime example of something similar would have been the massive prank war they had.

Just as Vlad made it to the door, he felt himself loose control of his limbs. He began putting on the helpless old man demeanor and pretended to struggle. The mysterious force that grabbed him began to drag him to over where Sasori was. Vlad came face to face with Sasori's half opened gray-brown eyes that gave Sasori the appearance of drifting between reality and his own dream-scape. Vlad looked sown and saw Sasori's fingers twitching.

'Is this child controlling me like a... A puppet?' Vlad thought.

"Don't think you can slip away that easily," Sasori said very calmly, "I have some questions, and you are going to answer them."

"And what if I choose not to?" Vlad asked.

"Since I lack my poisons, I need to make more," Sasori said, "And considering that I saw a few poorly hidden mechanisms, I assume you have a lab of sorts."

"Even if I did have one, what makes you think you will find anything useful?" Vlad asked.

"Simple. All labs have information. I may not exactly find the things I need to make my signature poisons," Sasori said, "But I would learn more about this world we ended up in. And that is not all, I could also learn a thing or two about how the biology of this world works. And it would be interesting to see how life forms can survive without Chakra."

Vlad paled. Sasori might be a teenager biologically, but mentally he was a sadistic adult. And also a bit insane. The thought of being used as a lab rat made Vlad shiver. He was thankful to have ghost powers. Since Sasori already knew, Vlad turned intangible and escaped Sasori's seemingly telepathic hold (he was really held by Chakra Strings).

"Fine," Vlad said bitterly, "I will tell you some things, but not all."

"Very well," Sasori said, "If it is the only way to get you talk faster, then so be it. Now try to keep it short, I don't like being kept waiting."

'Curse you, teenage hormones! Always making teenagers difficult to deal with!' Vlad thought.

"First of all, this world doesn't have this so called 'Chakra'. However, this world does have this," Vlad said and formed a ball of pink Ectoplasm in his hand, "Not everyone has it and it is very unpredictable in the real world."

Sasori eyes the pink energy with curiosity. He wondered what was so special of the energy that Vlad held in his hand. It didn't feel like Chakra at all. In fact, it felt ethereal compared to Chakra's more down to earth feeling.

Sasori pointed an index finger at the ball of Ectoplasm and sent out a string of Chakra to it. When the two energies came into contact, the Ectoplasm behaved strangely. In fact, it began warping the Chakra and causing many unexplainable things to happen simultaneously. At that moment, Vlad made the ball of Ectoplasm dissipate while Sasori ceased to use his Chakra Strings.

"Interesting," Sasori said, "What is this energy that you posses?"

"It is called Ectoplasm," Vlad said, "From the twenty years I have had my powers, I have learned many things about it. I have learned how to short it out, and render many ghosts powerless as an every day human. I have even discovered many of the powers it grants to those who have it in their blood, especially to those who were completely human."

"What do you mean by 'were completely human'?" Sasori asked, thinking about the time he made himself a human puppet.

"I am a what is known as a half ghost," Vlad said, with his rage become pretty visible as each following word came out with more and more venom, "An idiot friend of mine and his bumbling did this to me. He infected me with Ghost DNA and Ecto-Acne."

"So essentially, you are a hybrid," Sasori said abruptly, not wanting to hear a monologue, "Can you tell me what a ghost is in this dimension?"

Vlad glared at Sasori for interrupting. Then again, Sasori did tell him he didn't want to be kept waiting.

"It is hard to explain," Vlad said, "From what I have seen in my time of being a hybrid is that every ghost is different like how every human is different. There are some who like pretending to be dead people, hence the many ghost stories of people who have passed in abandoned houses. But there are some who are manifestations of ideas such as weather and dreams."

At that moment, very loud bangs went off out side. Those explosions were followed by excitement caused by the neighbors. Sasori groaned in annoyance, knowing who the exact culprit was.

"That was very informative," Sasori said, "I have to go drag in Deidara now before he tries something that will get himself killed."

Sasori walked to the window and looked around the sky for Deidara. Once he spotted the blonde bombing artist, Sasori sent out his Chakra Strings to grab Deidara. Once he had a firm grip on Deidara's body with the Chakra Strings, he dragged Deidara back into the mansion. As soon as Deidara was inside, Sasori released the blondie on the bed.

"Sasori!" Deidara complained, "What was that for, hm?!"

"Do you really want to prove me right that you will die young?" Sasori asked.

"Don't forget it will most likely because of his own explosions!" Tobi chimed in.

Deidara glared at Tobi and Sasori.

"Master Sasori, you should know as a fellow artist that art can't be created when one is being restricted," Deidara said, "Besides, have I ever told you to stop making your art?"

"Brat, you are really pushing it," Sasori snapped, "If you say anything like that again, I will make sure you are the first Ii test my new poison on."

"I became immune to your poisons long ago, remember, hm?" Deidara deadpanned, "You shouldn't have whacked me so many times with Hiruko's tail if you wanted a more effective test subject."

"Just shut up if you know what's good for you," Sasori said.

Deidara was about to protest when he felt a sharp pain wrack through his body. He clutched his chest and began give labored breaths. Sure, he could shrug off losing two arms without anesthetics and still fight well, but this pain was just unbearable. He collapsed on to the bed and began sweating excessively. Sasori was shocked by this.

'Looks like we will see the results of the experiment now...' Vlad thought with an inner twisted smile as he blew on his smoldering finger.

Vlad slipped out of the room, not wanting to be near the chaos when it happened. Luckly, he could watch it all from the safety of his lab via security cameras.

"SENPAI! What's the matter?!" Tobi cried out as he rushed to Deidara's side.

"GAAAAH!" Deidara cried out, "GET AWAY FROM ME TOBI! GAAAAAH!"

"No, I won't!" Tobi said, "You are in pain and need a Medical Ninja! Sasori, you know the human body, can you save Deidara?"

Sasori sighed.

"Stay back," Sasori said, "Let me have a look..."

Sasori may have not been a certified Medical Ninja, but he did have enough knowledge to allow him to be just as accurate. He began by talking Deidara's pulse, much to Deidara' discomfort.

'His blood pressure is dropping very slowly. Too slowly for that to be the cause.' Sasori thought, 'And from touching his wrist, his temperature is also dropping very slowly.'

Sasori began examining Deidara's body, looking for any sign of a cause of Deidara's sudden symptoms. When he thought he wouldn't find a clue, he found one. It was in the form of a puncture wound from a syringe located on one of the main veins of his upper right arm.

'So it must have been a delayed reaction to whatever was injected. This wound looks like it occurred last night.' Sasori thought, 'So Vlad must have tried something funny already. I will go after him after I rebuild my puppet collection. Curse than pink hair kunoichi and my grandmother!'

Sasori let Chakra envelope his hands and placed them on Deidara's abdomen. He began searching for the culprit of Deidara's sudden pain. There was surprisingly no internal bleeding or fatal ailments like a stroke/heart attack.

'So he isn't having a heart attack. That rules off one purpose of the unknown substance that got injected,' Sasori thought as he tried to drown out Deidara's screams and the highly disturbing sounds that the extra mouths were making, 'Only if Deidara could shut up and keep those extra orifices under control for two seconds...'

As Sasori began searching near the stitched up mouth, he realized something very strange and very wrong. Something was attacking Deidara's Chakra Network. One of the side effects that the Kinjutsu gave Deidara, other than the extra mouths, was an alteration of his Chakra Network to allow usage of said mouths. Because of that alteration, Sasori was able to sense the destruction much easier in the areas where the mouths were located than anywhere else.

"Deidara, whatever was injected inside you is attacking your Chakra Network," Sasori said, "I am hypothesizing when you went flying around on your clay bird, you sped up the process. And I know that look, yes, someone did this to you."

Deidara was in too much pain to speak, but he was evidently showing that he DID NOT want that to be the case.

'Dang it... I just got my ability to use my artistic Ninjutsu back and now it is being taken away from so suddenly!' Deidara thought bitterly, 'Why would anyone want to take away one's ability to use one of life's many works of art?'

"There isn't anything I can at this point, Deidara," Sasori said, "I knew you would die young, just not like this... It's humiliating..."

Deidara struggled to glare at his former partner as he let out another blood curdling scream out of intense pain. Tobi couldn't help but begin to cry.

"Oh why must the world take away my senpai?!" Tobi wailed.

The pain within Deidara's body began to change. It was becoming more of a numbing sense as he gave labored breaths just to regain lost oxygen from his fits of screaming. His clenched fists and throbbing chest began to quiver and tingle a bit. He slowly opened the palms of his hands and let out a horrified scream. His extra mouths were GONE.

Sasori grasped the palms of Deidara's hands and examined them.

'Interesting... I have never seen such a reaction to a loss of a Chakra Network...' Sasori thought as his eyes narrowed, 'Then again, this is the first case of its kind. Not even Orochimaru was able to do experiments like this...'

Deidara remained in a shock induced daze. He seemed to become disconnected as the pupil of his visible eye dilated. The fact that Deidara was still alive was unsettling to Sasori. Deidara should have died from losing the one thing that ALL humans needed to survive in their world. Yet, here he was, recovering from the pain and was in shock, but none of the less alive.

Before Sasori could let go of Deidara's hands, Deidara suddenly lost all solidity but still kept shape and visibility. Sasori jerked his hands back. For the first time in many years, Sasori was actually genuinely surprised. This brought Deidara out of his daze and gaped at what just had happened. He began to squirm away, clearly disturbed and horrified. Deidara's heart began to race.

"What...?! WHO DID THIS TO ME?!" Deidara said, becoming violently angry fast, "TELL ME WHO DID IT, DANG IT!"

"I have a very good guess," Sasori said, "Vlad. The guy we have been staying with for the past few days. He needs to work on being subtle. In our world, he would be between a C-Ranked and a B-Ranked Rouge Ninja in the bingo book within ten seconds of being spotted in either form."

{AN: Basically, Sasori is insulting Vlad by saying that even a Genin can hunt him down.}

"I WILL BRUTALLY KILL HIM! I WILL MAKE HIM PAY FOR TAKING AWAY MY CHAKRA, MY NINJUTSU, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, MY FREAKING ART, HMMMM!" Deidara shouted with a massive amount of venom coming out of his mouth.

Tobi flinched a bit and whimpered.

"Um... Senpai..." Tobi stuttered.

"WHAT NOW, TOBI?!" Deidara snapped.

"Your eyes... They are glowing..." Tobi said quietly.

"BULL-CRAP TOBI!" Deidara spat.

Sasori didn't bat an eyelash as walked over to a mirror and smashed it with a Chakra Enhanced punch. He grabbed the largest mirror shard and handed it to Deidara.

"Look at your eyes, brat," Sasori said, "Or I will make you, and it won't be pleasant."

"Fine..." Deidara said irritably and looked in the mirror shard and his now neon green eyes widened, "And you weren't screwing with me... But like I said before, I AM GOING TO KILL THAT OLD SACK OF WRINKLES! I WILL MURDER HIM TEN TIMES OVER IF I HAVE TO!"

"I thought you only wanted to murder Uchihas that badly..." Sasori said.

"Oh, compared to Vlad, they are a bunch of pansies on my hit list, hm," Deidara said, "But I still want to kill an Uchiha and gorge their eyes out... That is if their bodies weren't completely obliterated. But can't exactly do that now since VLAD TOOK AWAY MY MEANS OF DOING THAT!"

"Maybe you can kill them without being seen!" Tobi said.

Deidara threw the mirror shard at Tobi's mask. The shard harmlessly bounced off the reinforced surface of the spiral orange mask.

"Ninjas can already do that, Tobi," Deidara said coldly, "And clearly I have to give up my ninja career because of what that old man did to me."

"No I mean, like how Vlad can," Tobi said, "We got a taste of what he could do last night! He could change forms and go through objects! If you ask me, I think has more than just that! He seemed a little too cocky, just like you, Deidara!"

Deidara began to growl as his eyes began to once more glowed a vibrant green color. He lunged at Tobi and began suffocating the life out of the moron.

"I WILL MAKE SURE THAT SUFFOCATING YOU KILLS YOU THIS TIME, HM!" Deidara shouted, "NEVER, EVER COMPARE ME TO THAT SCOUNDREL!"

Sasori sent out his Chakra Strings and attached them to the highly ticked off Deidara. Deidara thrashed violently as he was lifted off of Tobi.

"Get ahold of yourself, Deidara," Sasori said, "If you want to kill Vlad, go after Vlad not Tobi, no matter how annoying that newbie is."

"I am not that annoying, aren't I?" Tobi asked.

"Tobi," Sasori said flatly, "I only needed one look at you to deduce that you are nothing but a buffoon who has a streak of dumb luck."

"Awwww, come on!" Tobi said, "There has to be more to me than that? Hey, what about the time I took out the Three Tails by myself?"

Deidara's visible eye twitched in anger. He began to squirm in the bindings made from Chakra Strings.

"You are so lucky Sasori is holding me back, Tobi!" Deidara spat, "It was MY ARTISTRY that took it out! SO STOP TAKING ALL THE CREDIT THAT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU!"

Sasori glanced at Tobi and gave a nonchalant look. Without loosing his hold on Deidara, he used his free hand and summoned more Chakra Strings. He thrust them at Tobi and pushed him out the window. Tobi screamed at the top of his lungs as he went far away.

Once a few minutes passed, Sasori lifted Deidara off the ground with his Chakra Strings and jumped out the already broken window. After that, Sasori began pumping Chakra into his feet and began to run away from the mansion.

"Master Sasori!" Deidara snapped, "What are you doing?! Vlad is inside the mansion!"

"We can't exactly fight him right now," Sasori said, "That pink haired kunoichi destroyed ALL of my puppets, so I need to make new ones to replace them. And you don't even have Chakra anymore."

"We can still take him! Just give me a kunai and I will take him down to his grave!" Deidara said and then began to smirk, "If he can use Genjutsu, then I got a little surprise for him!"

"We both know from the fact that he can literally walk through walls and pass through my Chakra Strings that you would be no match in your current state, brat," Sasori said, "So shut up before I cut your tongue out."

"You know that doesn't scare me," Deidara said, remembering the time he lost both of his arms.

Sasori grumbled under his breath, cursing the fact that his former partner was a stinker. It was like Deidara never heard of the term "fight another day" or "give up". He had to be the most impulsive, destructive, cocky person he had ever met.

With Tobi...

Tobi crawled out of his crater. He gave a low moan, disoriented from his impact. His hand traveled to the side of his head.

"Uggghhhh... My poor head... Mr. Sasori is quite the brute... Owwwww..." Tobi moaned, "Thank goodness it takes more than that kind of throw to kill me... Now let's see where Mr. Sasori threw me..."

Tobi began to take in his surroundings. He realized he was in a park of some sorts. He could tell by the vast number of trees, the placement of some of the bushes, the brick wall surrounding the area, and a large sign written in a language that he could surprisingly read. He heard a lot of chatter from the area about things like movies, video games, school, dating, and these so called 'cars' and 'trucks'. Tobi ran like a complete idiot in a random direction. When he saw a group of three teenagers chatting, he hid behind a tree.

The group of teens was composed of two boys and a girl. One of the boys was dark skinned and was wearing a strange red hat, glasses, a yellow shirt, and strange looking tan shorts. The second boy, who was wearing strange blue pants and a white and red shirt, had the palest skin Tobi has had ever seen, well other than the left half of Zetsu. He had messy black hair that was very short in the back, but had long bangs in the front. A strange hairstyle in Tobi's book. The girl had black hair as well, but unlike the two boys she was with, she wore primarily black clothing with purple and green accents here and there.

Tobi concluded from how relaxed they were, they might listen to him. Without wasting a single second, he ran like a moron out of his hiding spot and approached the trio.

"Um, excuse me you three children!" Tobi called out.

This caught the trio off guard. They turned around, looking tensed as if they were up to no good. Tobi took note of this for later.

"You three seem like you are up to no good. Shame on you! Then again, it is good for me!" Tobi said.

The trio shot weirded out looks at the masked man. They examined Tobi, furthering their weirded out state of mind.

"Um, dude, I think you got the wrong people," The black haired boy said.

"Yeah, we aren't doing anything illegal!" The dark skinned boy said.

"Oh silly me! You must be acting this way since I didn't introduce myself first!" Tobi said, "My name's Tobi, okkie dokkie?"

The weirdness meter increased in the trio's minds. Tobi swore he could see them sweat dropping from the weirdness that hung in the air.

"Okay..." The black haired boy said, "This got very awkward very fast..."

"No kidding!" The girl said.

"Aren't you going to say your names to me?" Tobi said, "It's only fair since I gave you mine!"

"I'm Tucker..." The dark skinned boy said, taking a few steps back from Tobi.

"Danny..." The black haired boy said and joined Tucker on the other side of the dirt path.

"Normally I don't introduce myself to masked whack jobs, but I am Sam," The girl said, cringing at Tobi.

"That's a pretty name for a pretty girl! I like it!" Tobi said as he jumped around.

"Did that older guy just hit on Sam?" Tucker asked, slightly disturbed.

"I hope not..." Danny said looking slightly peeved and disgusted.

"Oh gross! I think I am going to barf!" Sam said and held her mouth.

"Aw come on! I didn't mean to make you sick!" Tobi said, "I'm so very sorry!"

"What do you want?" Danny asked, glaring at Tobi, suspecting that the childish masked man was hiding something, "You obviously didn't just come here to disturb us more than our parents do."

"Oh! Thanks for reminding me!" Tobi said.

"Is it just me or is this guy more dense than your dad?" Tucker asked.

"No, he is..." Danny said, "And seems more annoying than a certain someone who has a habit of showing up."

"Listen, I need your help," Tobi said, "Two of my friends threw me out of the window to come and get help! They are being held by a crazy old guy who destroyed my senpai's Chakra Network!"

The trio gave Tobi more weird looks. Judging how part of their weird looks were forced, Tobi assumed they must have seen or heard weirder things. He brushed it off, knowing that it would make his "job" easier.

"Are you sure you are telling the truth?" Sam asked, "Because that sounds completely ridiculous."

"Well then, maybe I can show one of you!" Tobi said.

Tobi lunged for Danny. Danny's eyes widened, fear being very visible in his being. Tobi grabbed Danny by the waist and began tree hopping away into the distance at inhumane speeds. Sam and Tucker just blinked as the black and red blur disappeared into the distance.

"What just happened?" Tucker asked.

Sam began to run off.

"Hey, were are you going Sam?!" Tucker said, "We have to go save Danny from the crazy masked guy!"

"I am going to get the stupidly named tracking device so we can find him!" Sam said, "We can't exactly follow someone who is faster than an ordinary human without losing them!"

"Oh right," Tucker said, "Let's go!"

With that settled, Sam and Tucker ran off. They hoped Danny was okay.

With Tobi and Danny...

"What gives?!" Danny shouted, "Why are you kidnapping me?!"

Tobi leapt from roof top to roof top with Danny clinging for dear life on his back.

"Because I need you help!" Tobi said, "Like I said, a crazy old guy with a cat was using my senpai as a guinea pig!"

Danny was starting to get a bit annoyed with Tobi. He could only imagine how annoying his friends were. But the mention of a "crazy old man with a cat" perked his interests. He wasn't sure who he was talking about exactly, but he knew one old man who needed one.

"Actually, you didn't say that!" Danny pointed out, "And a crazy old man with a cat? Are you sure he had a cat?"

"Yeah, and he said she was named Maddie!" Tobi said.

Danny wasn't expecting that. However, he was slightly amused. He could only imagine how much trouble Tobi gave Vlad. What worried him was what Vlad could be up to this time. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

"Oh look!" Tobi shouted as he pointed into a distant field, "They escaped! I knew they would!"

'What the heck is wrong with this guy?!' Danny thought.

Tobi began speeding faster towards a figure in the distance. Once Tobi ran out of buildings to leap from, he put as much Chakra as he could into his feet. Once he had a massive, yet stable, amount of Chakra circulating in his feet, Tobi jumped off the final roof. Danny screamed, thinking Tobi was suicidal and trying to kill both of them. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting to become a Fenton Pancake.

"Hey, no need to be afraid!" Tobi chirped.

Danny cracked an eye open. He looked around and saw that Tobi was now just running through one of the large fields Amity Park had. Tobi came to a stop and let Danny down on the ground. He began waving to the distance.

"HEY! OVER HERE!" Tobi hollered.

"We're alive?" Danny asked and began cheering, "WE'RE ALIVE! You are crazy, you know that?"

"If you think I am crazy, you should see Deidara! He's crazier!" Tobi chimed.

A large rock came sailing through the air and smacked Tobi in the forehead. Tobi held his mask covered forehead.

"Owww..." Tobi moaned.

"If you don't want another, then stop jabbering, hm!"

Danny looked in the direction of the voice and found its owner in the form of a man who was in his late teens. He had long blonde hair in half ponytail with his bangs covering the entire left side of his face. Like Tobi, he wore the same strange black cloak with red clouds surrounded by a white outline. The blonde was holding another large rock in his right hand, ready to throw it at whoever ticked him off.

"Who is the dude that looks like a lady?" Danny asked.

The blonde man's visible eye twitched. Without a moment's notice, he thrust the rock at Danny. Danny yelped and managed to dodge it in time.

"Okay, note to self: Don't say he looks like a girl..." Danny muttered to himself.

"That's Deidara. My senpai! He was the one that the old man experimented on," Tobi said and began to tear up, "It's a very sad tale, if I do say so myself!"

"Quit making it sound like I died, Tobi," Deidara said, "And care to explain why you dragged a wimpy prepubescent child here?"

"HEY! I HAVE TOTALLY HIT PUBERTY!" Danny protested, only to be ignored.

"After Sasori threw me out the window, I went to go get help just in case you two didn't escape," Tobi said, "And it just so happens, Danny here might have meet Vlad!"

If Danny wasn't as sure as he was earlier, he would have had a fit. But since he did know, he was certain he was dealing with the same Vlad who tried to melt Danielle down, obtain the perfect half ghost son, kill Jack, and marry Maddie.

"Is this true? Do you know that old sack of wrinkles?" Deidara asked.

"Yep I do," Danny said, "He is one seriously crazed up fruitloop who needs therapy, another cat, and internet dating."

"Interesting... This could very well help us get some revenge..." Deidara said as he began to give a smug smirk, "Are you aware of the fact he can go through walls and alter his appearance?"

Danny was in a rough spot as soon as Deidara asked that question. Deidara seemed to be aware of the fact that Vlad was a hybrid. The fact that Tobi and Deidara were very outlandish looking, Danny could guess they were possibly from some other place like San Fransokyo. They also seemed like the secretive type, so might be able to keep a secret. And the fact Vlad experimented on another human being made Danny's blood boil. Human experimentation had to be one of the sickest things Vlad has done next to human cloning.

"I am aware. I fight him on possibly a regular basis," Danny said after coming to a conclusion of spilling, "So what exactly did Vlad do to you?"

"I am not entirely sure. All I know is that he injected something inside of me while I was sleeping," Deidara said as his expression became grim, "That unknown substance also destroyed my Chakra Network. I can't use any of my artistic Ninjutsu, hm!"

"My senpai's explosive creations were everything to him," Tobi sobbed.

"So you were like, an artistic bomber or something?" Danny asked.

"More or less," Deidara said.

"Was there anything strange that happened after the experiment that raised alarms?" Danny asked, "Other than losing this so called 'Catra'."

"Chakra!" Deidara corrected, "Now that you mention it, when Sasori was examining the exterior changes to my body, I just somehow passed through him."

"Deidara used to have extra mouths located on the palms of his hands and an even bigger on on his chest!" Tobi whispered to Danny, "The chest on had fanged teeth and a forked tongue!"

"Okay, that's an 'ew'," Danny said, trying to shake out the idea of extra orifices located in places where they didn't belong, "And are you sure you passed through him?"

"Do you want proof?" Deidara asked, "Tobi, since you love toying with my patience, do something that will make it happen again."

"Are you sure?" Tobi asked, "What if it doesn't work and you or someone else gets hurt?"

"I don't freaking care! Just do it, hm!" Deidara barked.

Danny backed away. He didn't like what was going on. In fact, he never asked for a demonstration.

'Oh man... If they are telling the truth, then this isn't going to be pretty...' Danny thought.

"Okay... But please don't hate me for this, senpai... I know how much you hate Itachi Uchiha, but I am not like him..." Tobi said sadly, "I look up to you, Deidara, as if you were my big brother..."

"Huh?" Deidara asked with a raised eyebrow.

'What is Tobi talking about?' Deidara thought, 'He can't be implying...'

Tobi then removed his mask to reveal a pale face. He looked to be around his late twenties. He had short, messy black hair and two dark colored eyes that were almost black. Tobi closed his eyes. When he opened them, his irises were blood red with three tomoe swirling around each pupil. Danny had no idea what these eyes meant, but Deidara did.

Deidara went still for several minutes. The only sound he made was breathing. His slanted light faded blue eyes were wide in shock as he tried to comprehend the reveal.

"Y... You're an Uchiha...?" Deidara asked slowly.

Tobi nodded. Deidara's face changed from shock to pure rage.

"You mean all this time I WAS WORKING WITH A FREAKING UCHIHA!?" Deidara exploded in rage, "I HATE UCHIHAS! THEY THINK THEY ARE SO COOL WITH THEIR SHARINGAN AND THINK POORLY OF OTHERS AND THEIR TALENTS! IT MAKES ME SICK JUST TO SEE THOSE DANG EYES, HM!"

Danny jumped back from the sudden rage. He had no idea someone could get that mad so quickly.

"Senpai, calm down! I said I thought of you as an older brother!" Tobi said, "I always thought you were awesome and someone worth learning from!"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE YOU WORTHLESS UCHIHA!" Deidara screamed with his eyes turning a bright glowing neon green in the process (which Danny caught and confirmed the feared purpose of the experiment).

Tobi began to cry. He sniffed and began running away. Deidara turned away, arms crossed and nose in the air. However, that posture didn't last. Deidara began to lose some of the stuck up body language and it became more and more guilt filled.

"You don't truly hate him, do you?" Danny asked.

"Hmph! What do you know, hm?" Deidara asked, trying to keep his guilt out of the picture.

"First of all, you are doing a really poor job at hiding all that guilt," Danny pointed out.

Deidara remained silent. He became lost in his thoughts. Ever since he was forced into the Akatsuki (he lost a bet with Itachi), he thought all Uchihas were stuck up know-it-alls. He thought that they deemed anyone who didn't have anything valuable like the Sharingan to be inferior and useless.

'Could I have been wrong?' Deidara thought, 'I have to go find Tobi...'

"TOBI!" Deidara shouted as he grabbed Danny and began running in the direction Tobi took off in.

'I am not going to get a break today, am I?' Danny thought dryly.

After running around for about an hour, Deidara and Danny had finally found Tobi. The masked ninja was sitting in a tree crying excessively. Once Tobi noticed Deidara, he began crying even more.

"I see you have come looking for little old me," Tobi said, "If you came to kill me, then just do it already. You can even take my eyes as a trophy."

"Okay, another ew!" Danny said, "What is wrong with you guys?"

Danny was ignored. Deidara began climbing up the tree the old fashioned way and sat down next to Tobi.

"Okay, I have no idea how to say this because I never said it before in my entire life," Deidara began, "I let my anger at Itachi get in the way. And honestly, you are completely different from him, hm. You aren't stuck up or a know-it-all like he is and you said you look up to me."

"If you trying to say sorry, you are doing lousy job at it..." Tobi said with a slight chuckle between left over sobs.

"Don't push it..." Deidara groaned.

"Sorry. And I do accept your apology, Deidara!" Tobi said and tackled Deidara out of the tree with a hug, "So what now? We couldn't repeat what happened."

"There is no need to," Danny said, "I kinda already understand what he did."

Both Deidara and Tobi became highly confused as they got up from the ground.

"How?! You said you wanted proof!" Tobi countered.

"Which I got," Danny said.

"And how did you exactly get this 'proof'?" Deidara asked.

"Let us just say," Danny said snickering slightly and made his eyes glow like how Deidara's did earlier, "It is was just by looking."

"You can make your eyes do that too?!" Tobi asked, "Were you one of Vlad experiments?"

"No!" Danny said, "I didn't even know him when I got my powers."

.

Binas: I would write more, but I hit a dead end for this. I don't plan on adding on to this, so here is a free plot bunny for you guys. Take it and groom it well. And try to keep it away from sugar or it will go crazy. So this concludes the LONGEST plot bunny/one shot I have EVER wrote.