When my mother freed Panem of its horrible curse of a Capitol there was supposed to an everlasting happiness spread across the country right? Then why are, when I came home from school this afternoon, with my younger brother at heel, both my parents in a panic in the living area. Now that I think about it, my teachers after lunch acted strange as well. This got me very curious.
I walk to my mother, who is on the bent in two, on the floor with her hands cupping her ears and is rocking back and forth. I've never seen her this weak. I know of her nightmares and the trauma that she and my father went through as teenagers but she's never been like this. I touch her shoulder and she jumps, "Mom?" I ask tentatively, "Are you okay?" When she doesn't answer I look to my father.
He sits on the sofa, elbows on his knees and his fingers on his temples. His eyes are blinking rapidly. He doesn't even seem to realize that my brother and I have even entered the house. He is too busy mutter things under his breath, trying to remember where and who he is. If dad's disposition changed by whatever this thing,—the thing that has the whole town bugging out—there is something terribly wrong happening.
Before I even open my mouth again it's my brother Aidan that speaks. "Bri, I don't think we should bother them. I think they need to calm down. They barely even know where they are."
I look at him; his eyes are wide with fear. I realize then my own heart is pumping faster than normal. I breathe in deeply and nod. We leave the room and put down our school books in the study. The study has two desk now that Aidan has work from school, and since dad picked up reading we also have lots of new books and even a new bookshelf because the others were full. We stay in the study for a while trying to assess what the problem could be. "Did any of your teachers seem worried after lunch?" I ask him.
He nods and says, "Every one of my teachers. They tried to hide it as best they could but one of them, my History teacher had an anxiety attack and she had to step out the room."
I just stare at him. It's bad enough to affect even a History teacher. My History class was in the morning so I didn't get to see his expression. "What do you think it could be?" I ask trying to think of all possibilities could have my mom and dad worked up.
"Bri…" He speaks to me as if I'm missing the obvious.
"What? What did I do?"
"There are only a few things that can scare them both like this. We both know mom jumps even at the sight of blood. But dad he seems to have a more solid grip at being calm."
It takes me a few moments to register what he's saying behind the lines. Something so bad that it causes dad to go into a fit, one that has pushed mom into a fetal position, there is only one thing that I can come up with. "You don't think it's the government do you?" I asked wanting anything but the answer he's about to give.
"That, Bri, is exactly what I think is wrong."
I tell Aidan to stay where he stands; I am going back to the living area to see if they changed positions or made an effort for movement. I walk on my tiptoes in my socks because it is much quieter than my shoes or going barefooted on the wood paneled floors. I peer around the corner but they are still in the same position and barely seem to be breathing. I tiptoe back to the study and Aidan.
He is the one that suggests we visit Haymitch. If anyone will tell us what is wrong it will be him, no matter how horrible it might be. Aidan also suggests we drop out the window of the study to not draw attention to our on growing worrying. I've never seen him like this. He has always been calm in the face of our broken family's panic attacks, but not like this. It's almost as though he is already all grown up and thirty years of age.
As we walk to Haymitch's house just on the other side of the Village we hold little to no conversation. He grabs onto my pinky finger, something he use to do when we were both younger, and that brings me to an abrupt stop. He turns to me and looks alarmed at my sudden halt. I look at him thoughtfully. "How scared are you?"
"Terrified. Why?"
"Well because you seem so calm, and just now when you grabbed my finger. You used to do that when I got scared."
He shrugged. "Well you are scared. Probably just as scared as I am, it's just… I don't know… I don't show it like you. It's more of I feel like I know how to handle these situations already."
Grabbing him I pull him into an embrace, "I love you Aidan, even if I don't say it." I never say it, not to him, not to mom, not to dad. I don't say it to anyone. I never say good-bye either, but I don't know why.
"I know" is all he says and he pulls me to Haymitch's front steps. There before we open the door we take a deep breath. Both to calm ourselves down and to brace ourselves for the sty that is his house.
Haymitch never locks his house, and is always in the same place. On the kitchen table with a bottle in one hand and a knife in the other. My parents say habits die hard, because he did this since they moved to the Village and even before that too. We both walk silently through his hallway even with the crumpled paper, broken bottles, and boxes in the way. Haymitch never seems to surprise. He lays with his head on the table turned from us, a white liquor bottle blurring his sight of vision, both his arms under the table on his knees. Aidan and I decide to separate here. I go to Haymitch while Aidan goes to the counter and starts water to boil. At the sound of the rushing water from the faucet Haymitch speaks without lifting his head or turning to see us. "So did you figure it out sweetheart? It's happening again. Exactly what we feared."
I stare at Haymitch in disbelief. I know I should be slightly upset that he thought we are just our mother, probably here to dump water on him like she normally does when she needs to talk to him; however I'm more concerned of the latter of what he spoke of. Something they feared is happening again. I turn my head to Aidan and he looks at me through sorrowful eyes. It's exactly what he expected.
I clear my throat and try to sound oblivious, "Actually Uncle Haymitch, its Aidan and Brioni not our mom. And what do you mean happening again? What's happening again?"
He jerks his head up and peers at us through drunken eyes. "Has the boy and girl not told you?" The boy… even after so long he still refers to our father as "the boy" just the same as our mother and "sweetheart".
"They were kind of unstable when we walked in the house." This is Aidan. I don't know if he tried to over-exaggerate or under-exaggerate their condition but that is basically what it was.
Haymitch guffaws at this. "Well of course they are. This is exactly what Katniss and Peeta feared since before you two were even thought of. Well before the sweetheart ever thought of you at least."
There was silence in the room Aidan still holding the water had to place it on the countertop and then grip the counter as a vice, as I do the table where Haymitch sat. I feel light headed, exactly what my mother feared. "You mean-" I say with my eyes closed, "That Panem is back under the Capitol's wing?"