Disclaimer: I own nothing

Ok, so I can't stop writing one-shots with Gabriel. It's like I've got him and Crowley on my shoulders, neither one leading me anywhere good!

So, this one will have a fair amount of ass-kissing, since Gabe did have all of us thinking he was dead. Now, he'll have to really answer for it.

Sit back and enjoy!

Love always,

Avoline

She was half asleep when she heard the faint sound of fluttering wings. A sleepy sigh passed her lips, assuming it was Castiel checking in on her again.

"Cas, I'm fine and trying to go to sleep," she grumbled. "So scram. It's been years anyway." A set of fingers gently brushed against her arm, and she couldn't stop the smile that crossed her face. No one had touched her like that since he had died, and she missed the intimate contact.

"I know, sugar," a familiar voice cooed. Her eyes flew open. That was not Cas.

She whipped her head to the stranger to see a set of golden eyes smiling at her. Anger bubbled within her, and she wanted nothing more than to punch him right in his smirking face. This was one of his cruel tricks, and the fact that, even though he was dead, he had the audacity to pull one on her. After all the tears and screaming, he would actually do this to her.

She sat up and shoved him back, not even caring that he allowed her to move him.

"How dare you," she shouted. "This isn't funny, you careless asshole! I finally managed to get some sleep at night without waking up screaming! I finally can face the day without wanting to fucking die! Why would you think this funny?!"

She felt the tears on the edges of her eyes, and saw the shock on the copy's face. She was almost sure it was a very good clone; the Trickster was dead. She still had his jacket laying on a chair in the living room. If this was some delayed trick on his part, it was his cruelest one yet.

"Babe, this isn't a trick," Gabriel countered, grabbing her hand and pressing it to his cheek. "I'm here. I'm really here. I would never play a trick like that on you."

Now she was pissed. Not only had he convinced her that he was dead, but he kept the lie up for years! Her fist shot out before she could stop it, the pain shooting up her arm.

"So you lied to me," she screeched. "You had me believe you were dead for years! You don't send a single sign or let me know anything the whole time! You let me spend all those night crying or screaming, when you were alive the whole goddamn time! How fucking cruel could you be?"

The tears were flowing now, but she didn't care. Nor did she care about the glint of hurt in his gaze.

"I mourned for you," she sobbed, her anger giving way to the pain she thought was gone. "I cried myself to sleep so many nights, wishing I had spent more time with you. I didn't get out of bed for weeks. Dean and Sam and Castiel had to force feed me so that I wouldn't starve myself to death. Kali even came by every so often to keep my mind off of how badly I missed you. Cas was coming by every night to make sure I was still alive cause I couldn't live without you. And now you just pop up, alive and well, and I'm supposed to just act like the past five years or so didn't happen!"

She was trembling, her lungs burning from the effort to breath. His own eyes shimmered with tears, and she couldn't help but wonder if they were for her or himself. But every word she had said was true. She still carried the scars from the cuts she had hidden from Cas, as well as the suicide attempts the Winchesters had foiled. His eyes shifted to her arms, and she knew he could see them, but at that moment, she really didn't care. In some sick form of revenge, she wanted him to know just how cruel his little stunt was, and how badly it had messed her up. She wanted him to feel guilty for what he had done. She didn't care why he had done it. She wanted him to hurt.

"I'm sorry," he began softly, staring straight into her light blue eyes. "Laura, I'm so sorry. I didn't think-"

"No, you didn't," she snapped. He flinched at her words, and she felt a short-lived spark of joy at it.

"I wished I could have done it all differently," he explained. "And I know explaining myself won't make the years of pain disappear. Hell, words alone won't be enough to make up for what you've been through. But hear me out, please." She sat silent, willing to listen despite how angry she was. "I had to move quickly, and I underestimated how much angel juice that was going to use up. I used a good bit of it tricking Luci and locking myself into a stupid porno. And I needed you. But I couldn't get to you. Couldn't even let you know that I was fine. I had to recharge good before I could get out of that porn, and as soon as I could, I came here." His hand reached for hers, his fingertips gently tracing the lines across her skin. "I never meant to hurt you like that. I never meant for you to feel that way. And if my little brother and the Winchesters hadn't been here to keep you alive, I don't think I would have ever forgiven myself." He gently kissed her temple, his free hand combing through her light brown hair. "I fucked up. I know I did. Now, let me try and make it up to you." She rested her head against his shoulder.

"How," she croaked. She felt his smile against her head.

"By showing you how badly I've needed you, to start with," he replied, his hands moving to cup her face and turn so she stared into his eyes. And she could see it now. The need, the love, the apology that had been a long time coming. She could also see the pain and self-loathing, and silently berated herself for causing them. "If you only knew how many times I though of you. If you only knew how hard it was being away from you." His lips brushed against hers. "I still need you."

And she needed him. She leaned towards him, connecting their lips again. God, she had forgotten how much she loved the taste of him. It was intoxicating, and she wondered how she had survived five years without it. His tongue swiped her lips, and she willingly gave him entrance. The hand that had been stroking her hair suddenly tangled within it and pulled her closer, the kiss becoming frantic.

She felt his hand slide down to the flimsy tank top before grabbing a handful and ripping it from her body. She gasped into his mouth, then moaned when his fingers found one nipple. She broke the kiss so she could breath, only to moan again when he assaulted her neck, both hands now caressing her breasts.

"Seems you've needed me, too," he murmured against her skin. "In so many way. I won't leave again. I won't do that to you ever again." She gasped for air as his teeth scraped her collar bone.

"Right now, I just don't want you to stop," she groaned, pushing that damned jacket (where did he get another one anyway?) off his shoulders. His hands left her body long enough to remove the heavy coat, then returned to torment her once again. "Need you. Quickly."

"All in good time, sugar babe," he responded. "This is about apologizing, and I plan on doing it right. Taking my time. And making up for lost time."

She gasped as his mouth closed over her nipple. Her back arched, pushing the pert mound against him. He suckled from her like a newborn searching for milk, and she couldn't stop the little mewling sounds that escaped her.

"Love it when those sounds come out," he breathed, pressing his member to her hip as he laid her down. She thrust upwards, hoping he would just get on with it. "Impatient, are we?"

"It's been five... oh, fuck yes... years," she answered. "So get... oh, shit, Gabe... get the hell on with it!"

His lips moved quickly, skimming down her body with a speed she had missed for so long. His fingers rested at her hips, until one hand slid to her center. A cry of relief resonated in the small bedroom as he slid two fingers into her.

"Had a little more planned for us, but you've got a point," he whispered, working his fingers inside of her in the way that drove her wild. "Oh, fuck, you are so far beyond wet." She felt his breath against her folds, and she whined in anticipation. "Need to taste you. Went too long without you." His fingers disappeared, only to be replaced with that skilled tongue of his. Her head pressed back into the pillow as the muscle wriggled within her, her fingers gripping his hair. If he stopped what he was doing, she was going to kill him.

Her nerves were on fire, and she felt as though she were floating. Oh, God, she needed this. His fingers, his lips, his sweet words. She simply needed him. A sudden wave of love washed over her, and she lifted her head to look at him.

His eyes were closed as he worshiped her body. His hair was mussed from her gripping it so tightly. She could feel a layer of stubble rubbing her inner thigh. And all of it was so damn perfect to her. Her heart swelled with the amount of love she possessed for him. Despite the five years of his absence, her love for him had not dimmed in the slightest. If anything, it had grown, and she knew she wanted to be with him the rest of her life.

His tongue brushed a spot within her, and she let out a sound she couldn't even identify. She felt her orgasm racing towards her, and was helpless to stop it. Just as she reached the edge, he pulled away.

"Oh, no you don't, my patient lover," he teased. "When you finally hit that high that you've been denying yourself for five years, I plan on being inside you. And you'll wonder, for the hundredth time tonight, how you survived without me." She panted as their eyes met.

"I almost didn't," she blurted out.

And the pain returned to his gaze, and her mood quickly dropped.

"I know," he soothed. "I know, and I'm so sorry for ever making you feel that way." He slid into her, the action so tender it brought tears to her eyes. "And I promise, I'll never make you feel like death is a better option than being alive."

She bit back the sobs trying to break loose. She never thought of how baldy he would feel. It never occurred to her how much the truth of the past five years would hurt him. She should have remembered how tender-hearted he was, and how much he cared about her.

Her hand gripped the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss just as he started moving. This time she did sob, but in pure pleasure. She lifted her hips to meet his thrust, pleased at the helpless moan that passed his lips. He sped up, and she couldn't stop the noises bubbling in her throat. His mouth found her neck, sucking and biting until she could feel the bruise.

"Mine," he growled in her ear. "Only mine." She forced her eyes open to meet his.

"Yours," she echoed. "I'm all yours. Only yours, Gabriel." His hips picked up the pace, drawing a helpless cry from her body.

"Not going to last," he moaned. "So fucking tight, so fucking perfect." She felt her body floating again, and knew she wouldn't last much longer either.

"Then let go," she panted. "Together." His body increased in speed again, and she all but screamed as she hit her peak. She felt him pulse within her, and her name was a choked prayer from his lips.

He snuggled his head under her chin, and she raked her fingers through his sweat matted hair. Her heart still swelled with love, and it was tangible now. He was still trembling in her arms, and she was fighting to catch her breath.

"I needed that," he muttered. "I needed you. Oh, Dad, how I needed you." She smiled.

"I'm here now," she replied. "You don't have to hold back." He sighed.

"I've come to terms with most of it," he began. "The fact that my brothers hate each other, the fact that they're basically dead now, the fact that it's not even really the Winchester's fault." She felt his trembling worsen, and his breathing became unsteady. "But I can't seem to understand why they turned into what they did. Michael was determined to kill Luci, and if you got in his way, he'd kill you too. And Luci was just as blood-thirsty." A sad, almost mournful sound escaped his throat. "I watched as he stabbed what he thought was me. And all I was trying to do was save my brothers."

She held him as he quivered. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve the pain and heartache he'd been holding in for years. He should have never had to watch his brothers change into people he didn't recognize. He deserved to be happy, to be surrounded by people who love him.

"You think too loud sometimes, honey," he chuckled, yanking her from her thoughts. "And right now, I am surrounded by love. And I'm happy just being in your arms, knowing that you're okay. I was so scared I'd get out of that movie and you'd be dead or moved on." He rolled them on their sides, resting their heads together and gazing into her eyes. "You are my family now. And I can't live without you." His fingers traced the faint lines on her arm. "Just promise me that you won't try to end your life again. Please?"

How could she say no to those pleading golden eyes?