AN: This is my personal reflections on life, time, and fate. But it seemed to fit Squall somewhat so I molded it to his form, and this is what I found. It's funny really, So many contradictions, and yet, it all makes sense, to me anyway.
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Happiness Does Not Exist
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Allow me a few questions.
Why is it that we seek to travel to our future?
Why is it that we seek to change our past?
The human race pines after the knowledge of it's future, using palm readings, tarot cards, crystal balls, some wish to use science. We do this so we can know what our future is, are we successful, are we not, how can we change the future we see if we don't like it?
The future is now, but you couldn't see it in the past. Are you happy now? Most humans are always looking to better their situation. Is happiness plausible? If you knew your current situation in the past, are there things on the way to the present that you would change? If you did that, the present would not exist.
Thus if we saw the future, we would inevitably try to change it, if one does not believe in fate, than one can say that the moment you see the future, the future that you see no longer exists.
So tell me, what is the point of seeing what is to be? So you can change it on the way there? So that you won't wish to come back and change it? What, I ask you, does this say of the human mind?
We are never happy, we never can be. What are we but sorrowful creatures wishing for that which is gone, or that which can never be had. Always, we want what we can not have. Always, we work to get what we don't already have, only to be disappointed in the end.
My sister learned this the hard way through true trial and error, always error. The funny thing is, I knew it the moment I accepted that she had left me alone. In this way, the past cannot be changed, nor can the future.
For this reason, I have come to believe fate exists. That our choices make our inevitable future. But our future is never fixed. We control the future with choice, the future controls our fate. We, are the children of fate. We alone chose our fate, our future. Once our choice is made, the outcome is inevitable, never to be changed.
It's sad to think that my choice to be alone has led me to be in such a large spotlight with good friends and someone who means more than the world to me. Tell me, this is my question, do the choices not matter when the out come is inevitable? The outcome is a distant future, where Ultimicia reigns.
But by knowing the future, can we change it? Cid and Edea knew of my eventual trip through time back to the orphanage. Does choice matter, is the future fixed, just the journey there that is changed? I don't know. I won't ever know. No human will ever know, it is not our place. Then what I ask is our place…? I don't know that either.
While we do exist, I have come to realize it is best to live, because when you're dead, there may not be anything there. "Live, Laugh, Love" is the old saying, I believe. Such things do not come to me easily, but I'm trying. With Rinoa next to me, in her own thoughts, we see the sign that marked our beginning. This is a new beginning, and I am happy…
Huh…? I thought that didn't exist.
I turn to look at her, she points her finger to the sky as she did under our first shooting star… and I smile. Because… in this moment, for me, this foreign feeling… happiness… does exist.
Maybe… maybe we are not bound to always wanting more. Maybe sometimes humans can be happy with what they have. Maybe we don't need to try to change things, maybe our choices do matter.
And I choose… I choose to be happy.
I choose to kiss her.
And she… she chooses to kiss back.
And we are happy.