AN: This is my attempt at a humorous oneshot, but I'll warn you that my sense of humor might be much different than yours. Enjoy!
Piper dug through her medicine cabinet, looking for some pain killers. She finally found them and quickly took some. She didn't even bother to see how many she was taking or bother to take the pills with water. Piper went into the living room and sat next to Percy, who was grimacing and pressing his hand to his cheek.
Jason and Annabeth walked into the room. They ended their conversation abruptly upon seeing Piper and Percy's looks of discomfort. Annabeth raised an eyebrow at Jason and stalked over to Percy. She opened his mouth wide and looked at his teeth while ignoring his protests. Annabeth murmured an agreement to herself while looking in Piper's mouth. She then looked up at Jason, who was studying the threesome from the door.
" We need to get them to the dentist. " said Annabeth.
" Why? " Jason asked.
Annabeth took Jason's hand and lead him over to the pair on the couch. She forced open their mouths again and showed Jason. He studied their teeth then looked up at Annabeth. A giggle sprung from his mouth. Then another, and another. With every laugh that escaped his lips, Annabeth giggled. Soon a full-blown cackling session started. Annabeth and Jason held each other's shoulders and doubled over as Piper and Percy shared furious looks. The happy blondes ignored the glares coming from Piper and Percy, until Percy stood up, mad enough to bring out Riptide.
" Are you laughing at our pain? " Percy asked, grimacing at each word.
Jason opened his mouth to say something, but Annabeth elbowed him in the ribs. " Jason, call the dentist and ask him about the thing. " Annabeth ordered, not taking her eyes off Percy. Jason nodded and headed to the kitchen to use the phone. Percy glared and sat back down.
" Do you know whats wrong with our teeth? " asked Piper.
" No, " said Annabeth, the outside of her lips turning up slightly. Piper and Percy saw through her blatant lie but didn't say anything. They just wanted this pain out of their mouths.
Jason yelled from the kitchen. " He says he can take them in an hour! "
Percy and Piper groaned. Annabeth held back a giggle.
The demigods walked into the dentist's office, looking tired. It had taken almost half an hour to coax Piper into the car. She had a fear of the dentist, something that was ridiculous. The girl could get into a knife fight with Hercules without even blinking an eye but couldn't stand having her teeth looked at. Go figure. Annabeth and Jason had to literally drag Piper out of the apartment and into the car, where she kept charmspeaking Jason into driving in the wrong side of the road and clucking like a chicken.
Percy was not much of a help either. Though Percy's pain tolerance level was the best of all the Seven, he kept swearing profusely in the back seat, distracting the whole bunch of them. Annabeth had to literally crawl into the back seat just to cover Percy's mouth. He was teaching everyone quite some swear words, half probably made up.
They sat glumly in the waiting room seats. Annabeth grabbed Percy's hand as an offer of solace, but he shrugged her away and leaned against the wall, fuming. Jason snorted silently at how ironic the predicament was. Piper bit her cheek and tapped her foot impatiently, now just wanting to get whatever was wrong with her teeth fixed.
" Piper McLean and Percy Jackson, " the hygienist said, popping into the waiting room.
The demigods stood up and followed the lady. She lead them to a large room full of x-ray machines and loads of equipment. She sat Percy and Piper down in respective chairs and set the chairs in a laying position. As she examined their mouths, she made a sympathetic face.
" You poor things. Y'all got to get your wisdom teeth removed. Lemme go get the doctor and work out the details of the extraction. " she simpered.
After the hygienist left, Percy sat up and looked at Annabeth. " She did this to us, didn't she? "
" My mother didn't do anything to you. The teeth are just called wisdom teeth because you generally get them around the ages of 18 to 21. Its thought that you get wiser during those years, so the teeth are known as wisdom teeth. Athena has nothing to do with them. "
Percy still looked irritated. Piper sighed nervously and looked to Jason for support. She found him looking around the room and singing along to the background music under his breath. Piper sighed again louder, hoping to catch his attention, but nothing seemed to be able to rip him from his jarring performance of Call Me Maybe.
The dentist walked in with a couple hygienists, so the demigods calmed down. The dentist gave Piper and Percy a whole lecture on wisdom teeth, but they didn't care. They were too busy wincing in pain to worry about when laughing gas was first invented.
" Alright, we'll start the procedure now. " said the dentist.
He shooed Annabeth and Jason out, and they sat in the waiting room, avoiding each other's eyes. Each time they looked at each other, they held back cackles. After about three hours and twelve bouts of laughter, the dentist told them that the procedure was over. Annabeth and Jason walked to Piper and Percy, who were currently still in the dental chairs.
When Piper and Percy saw Annabeth and Jason, they busted out laughing. Jason and Annabeth exchanged confused looks. Piper poked Percy's cheek.
" Dimple, " she said, sounding like she was on shrooms.
" Percy doesn't have a dimple, " said Jason.
Piper pouted. " Then I'll make one. " she said, getting up on wobbly legs. She grabbed the contraption that sucks out saliva and moved over to Percy. She got on top of him, and he laughed.
" Annabeth sits on me like this when we do the kissy-wissy sometimes, " he cackled. " Your not Annabeth, are you? "
Annabeth widened her eyes and blushed. Jason laughed so hard he started to snort. Annabeth suddenly flung her fist out from her side. It hit Jason, square in the crotch. He suddenly stopped laughing and held his manhood, wincing. Meanwhile, Piper was trying to suck out Percy's skin to create a dimple with the water sucker.
" Im not Annabeth. Im Pipey-Wipey! " she said, a look on her face like a mom talking to her baby. Annabeth snorted.
" Why are they like this? " asked Jason, now recovered.
" The laughing gas, " said Annabeth, watching the freak show that were her best friends.
Suddenly Piper wailed. She fell to the floor and curled up. Jason rushed over to her, thinking she's hurt.
" Are you okay? " he asked.
" WAA! Im a baby! Carry me! " she cried.
Jason laughed and backed away from her, but that only made it worse. She threw a tantrum, yelling and screaming. She pounded her fists on the floor, and yell that she wanted to be carried so loud that the dentist came back into the room.
" Please, try to quiet her. " he said.
Jason sighed. He knew how persistent Piper was. He scooped her up in his arms, and she immediately quieted. Jason chuckled nervously and went to place Piper in the car. She buried her head in his shirt, and said goo-goo-ga-ga. As Jason walked out of the dentist office with Piper nestled in his arms, people pointed and laughed. Piper stuck her tongue out at them.
Annabeth and Percy trailed behind Piper and Percy. The effects of the gas were wearing off Percy faster than they were Piper, but he was still a little lucid and kept trying to give Annabeth a big wet kiss and make dolphin noises. Annabeth sighed and gave people that stared a look that said that she has to deal with this all the time.
" Why were you two laughing so much because we had to get out wisdom teeth removed? " Percy asked once everyone was in the car.
" Last year, Annabeth and Reyna betted on when you guys would get your wisdom teeth. Reyna guessed between then and December, and Annabeth guessed from January till June. The stakes were high; you know how Roman bets are. Annabeth won, so now Reyna has to stand on Hannibal the elephant and twerk to Apple Bottom Jeans. We laughed because of that, " said Jason.
Percy laughed. " Imagine Octavian's face. "
Jason made the ridiculous face he assumed Octavian would have when he saw Reyna. Annabeth laughed so hard she cried. Piper pretended to sleep, snoring loudly.
" When Hazel sees her... " Jason added.
Annabeth made an overwhelmed face and fanned herself in an impressive imitation of Hazel. The boys laughed. Soon enough, Jason pulled into the a parking spot outside their apartment and got out. He opened the door for Piper, but she groaned about being carried. Jason laughed, knowing that the laughing gas had worn off. Piper was just being lazy, but Jason scooped her up and carried her anyway. Annabeth and Percy trailed behind them. Annabeth gave Percy an annoyed look and spoke.
" Why don't you carry me like that? "