Title: Double Life

Summary: Unknown to all his co-workers at Monsters Inc., Randall has been working a second job as a stripper during the weekends. Of course he knew it was only a matter of time before he was found out by someone. But of all the monsters, it just had to be him. At least he tipped well. Slight Sulley/Randall.

Rating: T (for language and adult themes)

Disclaimer: The film "Monsters Inc" is property of Disney and Pixar Animation. I make no profit from these writings.

Author's Note: This story was written for the monstrousprompts tumblr ("Alternate universe where everything is the same except your favorite character is a stripper"). It's the first prompt that's really caught my attention and the only one I've written for. When I first started thinking about ways to write this story, I hadn't really planned on writing Sulley into this, but the idea was just too funny to pass up. And then I lost control and this started slipping into Sulley/Randall territory and I just.

Unfortunately, this story ended up being way too long for me to post to the prompts blog. I knew it'd be kind of long, but I didn't think it'd be over 4,000 words. I would have put the story behind a 'Read more' if it allowed for that, but unfortunately, it didn't.

He had acquired quite an audience over the months. Weekend nights had always been the club's busiest nights, but Randall's supervisor had told him Saturdays were now the busiest they had ever been in almost five years, all thanks to him. Randall hadn't really known how to respond to such praise at first, considering he just wasn't used to it. His boss never passed up an opportunity to shower him with praise and encouragement after his performances, which meant far more to him than it may have for some. His self-esteem had soared to new heights in just the four short months he had been working there, though he had no doubt his family and co-workers at his other job would think very little of him.

Randall checked his reflection carefully, running a finger along the various pieces of body jewelry that wrapped around each of his fronds, making sure nothing was loose. He had another quick look at the clock on the wall, noting that he still had ten minutes before he was scheduled to go on. Even with the door to the dressing room closed, he could still hear the hooping and hollering of the crowd outside, cheering on one of his coworkers, the club's second best performer. Randall smiled to himself, appreciating the fact that he was the best at something, even if he knew people would find it shameful and not something to be proud of.

A knock at the door brought him out of his thoughts, and he quickly granted the person permission to enter. He turned his attention back to the mirror, moving his hand to begin buttoning the black, satin vest. The door swung open and his supervisor popped into the room, beaming at him proudly. "They're all lining up for you out there!" he said giddily. "I think this is the biggest crowd yet!"

"You say that every time," Randall laughed as he buttoned the buttons on the cuffs of his white shirt.

"And it's true every time!"

Randall only smiled as he began looking around for the fedora. He really didn't care if it was true or not, it was still nice to hear.

"Do you need anything before you go on, doll?"

"I'm good, Richie," Randall replied as he found the desired hat sitting on a cushioned bench.

The tall, horned monster flashed a quick smile as he turned to exit the dressing room, shutting the door on his way out.

Sitting back down in front of the mirror, Randall carefully positioned the fedora atop his head, maneuvering his fronds with his hand so that they were all tucked away inside. He leaned back slightly to admire his wardrobe, almost feeling disappointed that the clothes wouldn't be on his body for very long. They definitely looked good on him, but he figured that had more to do with his unnatural color scheme. Randall had known from the very beginning that he couldn't possibly enter such a stigmatized profession as himself. He knew what the consequences would be if word got back to the factory that one of their top scarers worked part time as a stripper. Because of this, he knew he'd need to disguise himself and use a different name in order to avoid being outed. He hadn't known if simply changing the color of his scales would be enough to fool anyone, but he was willing to risk it.

Randall had spent a fair amount of time in front of the mirror, his body flashing through various different colors. It was like trying on all sorts of clothes, trying to see what fit. There were literally thousands of different combinations he could have tried, and he became overwhelmed after just a couple dozen or so. Purple to blue, blue to yellow, yellow to green, green to orange. It was only when he tried the combination of red and black that he paused. Deep, crimson red, transitioning over to black at the tips of his fronds and all the way down his spine and tail. His arms and legs were also black, beginning right around his elbows and knees and extending all the way down his forelimbs to his hands and feet. It was a brilliant combination. The contrast made him appear both beautiful and deadly. And just to add a splash of color to his newly adopted color scheme, he had small blue spots dotting his face, beginning around the base of his fronds and running underneath his eyes. They varied in size, beginning very small around his fronds, and then getting progressively bigger the further down they went.

After smoothing out the wrinkles in his clothes, Randall reached for the container holding his contacts, which he had gotten especially for this job, both as part of his disguise and also to help him see. He needed to be able to see when he was out there on that stage, but he couldn't exactly wear his glasses, which depended on him standing upright and not making any sudden movements in order for them to stay perfectly positioned on his head. Contacts were the only other option, and in order to better his disguise, he went with colored contacts.

Randall carefully held one contact over his left eye and pulled back his eyelid. He blinked a few times once the contact was in place, and then quickly reached for the other one. With both contacts in, Randall glanced at his reflection again, his normally emerald eyes now an icy blue. He truly was unrecognizable, and considering he had been working under this disguise for four months without detection, his paranoia had finally begun to subside. On the one hand, he sometimes wished he didn't have to operate under such secrecy, but on the other hand, it was rather exciting to be living a double life.

Glancing again at the clock, Randall took a deep breath, realizing it was time for him to go on. After making absolutely sure his appearance was flawless, he exited the dressing room and headed down the hall towards the stage. He positioned himself directly behind the curtains and closed his eyes, taking another deep breath. Slowly opening his eyes, he was able to see through the tiniest gap in the curtains, seeing that it was, in fact, a full house. It was at this particular moment that his heart always began to flutter, though he knew once he was on that stage his fear would be long forgotten. It was just those few seconds of anticipation, waiting for that moment to burst out onto that stage the moment he heard his name called that always made him feel a little light-headed.

He heard Richie's voice boom loudly into the microphone, introducing him to the crowd, which prompted a very loud response. Randall straightened his posture and gripped the curtains tightly, taking one final deep breath. Gaze hard with confidence, Randall threw open the curtains and stepped out onto the catwalk, earning loud whistles and cheers of approval. He looked straight ahead, not allowing himself to become distracted by the gawking monsters. He casually walked a few steps, moving as though he was a fashion model, but in the blink of an eye and without warning, he dropped down on all eights and bolted across the catwalk, which only excited the spectators even more. At the very end of the catwalk was the main stage, a pole situated right in the center. Randall remained on all eights even after making it to the main stage. Slowly, like a predator, he circled the pole several times, staring seductively into the eyes of the monsters seated closest to the stage. And then, ever-so-slowly, he lifted his upper body off the stage and reached out to grasp the gleaming pole. The fact that he could move with such lightening speed one second, and then so agonizingly slowly the next drove the crowd wild.

Though he couldn't deny how good he looked in those clothes, Randall still wanted so desperately to shed the tightly-fitting pants, which were making it difficult and awkward to move, but he couldn't rush the performance. For male monsters, the more clothes, the better, as it wasn't typical for them to even wear clothes. It wouldn't have been very exciting to walk out onto the stage already half-naked, but for a monster like Randall, wearing anything other than a shirt was more trouble than it was worth. But he never tried to appear too eager when he was removing his clothing. As much as he wanted to be free of the constricting garments, there was a right and wrong way to do it, and Randall had already mastered the art of teasing his audience. Every performer had their own style and methods. Some preferred to just rip their clothes off as if they were burning their flesh, but Randall believed in making his audience wait for their reward, as it gave him a sense of control even when he was ultimately there to please them.

Randall casually leaned back against the pole, lifting a hand to touch the tip of his hat. He bowed his head slightly, paused for dramatic effect, and then slung the hat through the air, receiving loud cheers of approval from the crowd. His fronds now exposed to the overhead lights, they shimmered as the light reflected brilliantly off the jewels decorating the appendages. Figuring the crowd had been patient enough, Randall eased himself up the pole, a feat that was hardly a challenge to someone like him. Coiling his lower half around the pole and grasping it with his feet, he slowly and gracefully leaned back until his view was completely upside down, his arms hanging freely. He smiled at his audience, ignoring the sensation of blood rushing to his cheeks as he hung there, resisting the pull of gravity. Reaching up with his lower hands, he began unbuttoning the back vest, all while keeping his gaze on the upside down audience, who cheered him on as he slowly undid each button without issue. Once he had freed the last button, gravity quickly took over from there. The vest slipped away from his body and fluttered lightly to the floor without making a sound. Randall lifted himself right side up again, reaching out the grasp the pole with his upper set of hands. He reached down to his waist with his lower hands and unbuckled the black, leather belt. He smirked to himself, knowing what he was about to do would probably make Richie's heart leap into his throat, but he knew the crowd loved it.

Slipping the belt from the loops of his pants, Randall reached up and tightly wrapped it around the pole, getting a firm hold on both ends. Without a second thought, he released his grip on the pole and began swinging all the way down, letting his long, reptilian body stretch all the way out. Once he neared the bottom, he coiled his entire body around the base of the pole, bringing himself to a safe stop. His audience went absolutely wild, erupting in loud cheers and applause, tips already beginning to fly onto the stage. Randall knew Richie would probably jump all over him for that little stunt, as he thought it was far too dangerous. He had been absolutely livid with him the very first time he had tried it, and he had no doubt he'd get a mouthful tonight. But he'd worry about that later.

Uncoiling himself from the pole, Randall slowly rose to his feet and pressed his back against the pole. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back slightly, running his hand sensually up and down his body, untucking the white shirt from his pants as he did so. Hooking one finger into the collar of his shirt, he gradually began working the buttons loose, smiling in satisfaction at the reactions of his audience. He grabbed the pole with one hand and slowly began circling it, still tugging at the buttons. The shirt parted, revealing the lizard's salmon-colored chest and abdomen, which was noticeably smeared with body glitter. The audience finally got their first glimpse of the lizard's undergarments as he let the shirt slip from his shoulders. Black string stretched all across his body, extending over his shoulders and across his chest, tying off in a knot at certain points and creating diamond-shaped patterns all the way down his chest and stomach, disappearing beneath the waist of his pants. Ah yes, the pants, the last remaining article of clothing and the most challenging to remove. Luckily, the pants had been made with his anatomy in mind and were designed with a long zipper that extended much further than on most pants. It made it much easier to peel them off his body, but how to do that on stage while still being sexy was the tricky part. Of course it was nothing he hadn't done before.

Randall swayed to the rhythm of the music, his two left hands clutching the pole tightly, while he reached his lower right hand down to undo the button on his pants. Standing up on just his back set of legs, he firmly pressed his back against the pole, grasping the waist of his pants with his lower hands. He pulled in opposite directions, forcing the zipper downward just far enough so that he could wiggle his first set of legs out of both pant legs. With the pants now loose enough, Randall knew it wouldn't take much to work them loose now. Eager to finally free himself of the annoying garment, Randall eased his way back up the pole. Once he had a firm grip with both hands, he swung his way down. The speed of his swinging caused the pants to slip further down his waist, freeing his other two legs from their confinement. Randall grabbed at the pole with one of his feet in order to stop himself, noting that the pants were now hanging on his tail. Smirking out at the spectators, he flicked his tail and sent the clothing flying out into the crowd. He was certain someone had probably caught it and would probably never let the thing go.

Now that he was free of all his clothing, save for the stringy undergarments, he really began to show off, much to the crowd's delight. Back up the pole he climbed, swinging around on it in ways that would be impossible for most monsters. His skills as a pole dancer could not be matched, and this was all thanks to his flexibility and ability to climb any surface with ease. He could bend his body in ways that others could not, and such a skill made for a very entertaining performance.

Randall cracked a confident smile as he altered his position and began climbing down the pole head first. He held onto the pole with just his body, which was now coiled around it tightly. He craned his neck and lifted his head to smile at the cheering crowd, extending his arms and legs outward. He held this position for just a few moments before gripping the pole with his back feet, holding on tightly as he uncoiled himself. He continued pushing the boundaries, bending and twisting himself in ways that he hadn't tried before, all while noting the reactions of his audience. It was always easy to tell the newcomers from repeat viewers, as their expressions of shock and awe were far more profound than some.

The lizard snatched up tips with the tip of his tail, slipping them underneath the taught black strings. Fives, tens, twenties, they all fell upon the stage. Randall would even get close enough to the edge of the stage to allow his fans to physically slip the bills behind one of the strings, though he never gave them a chance to do much else. He learned who to get close to and who not to, as he had had one too many encounters with overly-excited spectators who would attempt to grope him, which was strictly prohibited. Generally, if he didn't recognize the tipper, he wouldn't approach them.

His tips collected, Randall returned to the stripper pole, where he swung, climbed and then swung some more, sweat beginning to glisten against his scales. It had only been minutes ago that he had walked onto the stage, and already he was beginning to feel the strain of his exertions. It was at this point that he began to move a bit more slowly, which proved to be a crowd pleaser. He swayed his body almost hypnotically, grinding up against the pole and swishing his tail from side to side. The whistles of approval never seemed to end as long as some part of his body was moving.

Seeing a fifty dollar bill flutter onto the stage, Randall tried to get a look at the tipper, but one of the bright lights overhead was shining directly into his eye, preventing him from seeing out into the crowd from his vantage point. He got down on all eights and crawled across the stage to retrieve the tip, the blinding light no longer an issue once he was completely on the floor. Grasping the bill in his hand, he lifted his gaze and started to smile at the monster who had offered up the gracious tip. However, his jaw dropped and his eyes bulged when he realized exactly who it was.

"Sullivan?!"

Hearing his name spoken, the monster in question frowned deeply, his enthusiasm vanishing instantly. He immediately recognized the voice, eyes widening in realization. "Randall?" he gasped.

Not wanting to create a scene, Randall immediately stood up and backed away from his co-worker, though his look of horror was still etched on his face. This did not go unnoticed by his supervisor.

Richie's gaze hardened slightly as he watched the scene unfold. It had happened so quickly, and it didn't appear as though anyone else in the audience was concerned by Randall's split second lapse in performance. The lizard was back on his feet in an instant and continuing with the show, trying not to appear too distracted, but Richie had seen it all. "Hey, Dave, come over here," he called to the bouncer, who approached him immediately. "I want you to keep an eye on that guy right there," he said sternly, pointing to Sulley. "The big blue one. Just watch him for now and make sure he doesn't try anything."

Dave nodded silently, crossing his arms as he settled his full attention on the large, furry monster.

ooooooo

Randall thought for certain that his heart was going to beat right out of his chest and start flying around the room. His worst fear had finally been realized. His secret was out, uncovered by Sullivan of all people. Why was he not surprised? How he had managed to continue his performance, knowing Sullivan was there watching him just a few feet away, he didn't know. But what would happen now? Would Sullivan blab to everyone in the factory? What if Waternoose found out? He'd be out of a job for sure. Sighing in frustration, Randall shoved his face in his hands, resisting the urge to start breaking things out of frustration.

There came a knock at the door, but there was no time for Randall to answer it before it swung open, revealing a slightly agitated Richie. "You're worse than a child, you know that? You never listen to me."

Randall managed to crack a small grin, despite his stress.

"What did I tell you about pulling that stunt out there?"

"C'mon, Richie, was what I did really that much more dangerous than everything else I do out there?"

His boss sighed, rubbing his temples. "I just keep getting this mental image of that belt breaking and then you go flying across the room and into some guy's lap."

"I'm pretty sure that guy wouldn't mind," Randall joked. "I'd probably get a much better tip if I did." Richie continued to glare at him. "Look, I'm sorry, all right? That's the last time I do it, I promise." Randall softened his expression and smiled apologetically, melting Richie's anger within seconds.

"Damn it, I just can't stay mad with you. You're too adorable," he sighed as he went over to kiss the reptilian monster's face. "Now then," he began as he placed his hands on Randall's shoulders, "do you wanna talk about what happened out there with that guy in the audience?"

Randall's face fell immediately and he averted his gaze. "Oh…"

"Did he say something vulgar to you?"

"No, he's….he's one of my co-workers, from my other job."

"Oh," Richie replied with a look of understanding. "Are you concerned? I mean, do you think he'll tell?"

"I honestly don't know. I definitely don't think he'd blackmail me, but I can't say the same about him telling everyone I work with." The lizard growled in frustration, shaking his head. "I should have known this would happen one day. And it's my own damn fault! He probably never would have realized it was me if I hadn't spoken to him. I just couldn't believe he was even here!"

"Well, maybe he won't say anything. I mean, saying he saw you working here would mean him admitting that he was here watching, and he might not want anyone knowing about that."

"Maybe."

ooooooo

It was after eleven o' clock by the time Randall finally exited the club. Even from the outside he could still hear the music booming loudly from within. The lizard pulled his coat tightly around his body and sighed as he fished inside his right pocket for his keys. He just wanted to get home as quickly as he could, take a nice hot shower, and then unwind for a while before heading off to bed, though after what had happened tonight, he didn't think anything could possibly bring him peace of mind. But perhaps Richie was right, and he was just agonizing over it too much. It wasn't as though Sullivan completely lacked any kind of sensitivity. Surely he'd have enough sense to know he wouldn't want anyone knowing about his second job. He could only hope.

Randall was within about twenty feet of his car when he suddenly heard someone call out to him.

"Hey, wait up a minute!"

He immediately stopped and spun around, a hand sliding into his left coat pocket. Much like a well-trained police officer withdrawing a gun from his holster, he withdrew a can of pepper spray, shouting "Stay back!" as he turned to aim it at whoever had decided to approach him.

"Woah, woah!" Sulley shouted in alarm as he took a cautious step back, raising both hands in surrender. "It's me, Sulley!"

"Oh, well in that case, then…" Randall gave the can a quick shake before re-aiming it at his co-worker.

"Woah, wait a minute!" Sulley immediately shielded his eyes. "C'mon, Randall, I just wanna talk to you for a second." He peeked at the lizard through two of his fingers. "Please?"

Putting away his pepper spray, Randall stormed over to the larger monster and jabbed a finger into his chest. "You listen here, Sullivan. You better forget about what you saw here tonight. Because I swear, if you breathe a word of this to anyone, not only will I put you through the shredder, but I'll bake every last piece of you into a cherry pie and leave it on Waternoose's desk. Understand?"

"Take it easy, I was never going to tell anyone. I just wanted a chance to talk to you."

Randall relaxed somewhat, though he continued glowering at the furry monster. "So talk."

Sulley rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Well, I….I mean, you can imagine my shock when I saw you in there."

"Likewise."

"How long have you been doing this?"

"A few months."

"Um…why? I mean, you have a good job at the factory. Why do you feel the need to do this?"

Randall rolled his eyes at the question. "I'm not doing it for the money, Sullivan. I started doing this to help build self-confidence."

"Confidence? What is it you lack confidence in?"

Randall averted his gaze as he suddenly became uncomfortable with sharing something so personal. "Everything. About the way I look, how I handle myself in front of people. I thought…well, maybe if I did something bold and daring like this, then…I'd be able to overcome that fear of making a fool of myself. I mean, if I can get out there and dance around provocatively in front of a group of total strangers, then surely anything else wouldn't faze me in the slightest."

"Okay, I understand lacking confidence in the way you interact with people, but you shouldn't feel insecure about the way you look."

"Whatever."

"No, really. You're beautiful."

Randall slowly turned his head to gape at the other monster, shocked by his colleague's word choice. Sulley nearly smacked himself in the face the moment those words left his lips. "I mean-NO! That's not what I meant!"

"So…you think I'm ugly, then?"

"NO! What I meant was….Well, you…I just….I was trying to say that…." The larger monster buried his face in his hands, muttering incoherent curses into his palms. Randall finally managed to crack a smile.

"You know, you're kind of cute when you're making a fool of yourself."

"Gee, thanks," Sulley muttered as he withdrew his face from his hands. "Look, you're attractive, okay? And you don't have to dance around on stage for me to see that." The furry monster smiled suddenly. "But I'm not going to lie, you did look pretty incredible out there. None of the other dancers could hold a candle to you."

Randall turned away once again, unable to stop himself from blushing, though he hoped his crimson scales prevented it from being noticeable. It was certainly nothing he hadn't heard before, but hearing those words from his rival was incredibly awkward.

"I still can't believe I didn't realize it was you. You really went all out with this new look of yours. I like it."

Randall looked at the larger monster again, his expression suddenly desperate. "You swear you're not going to tell anyone about this?"

"Look, Randall, I meant what I said. I won't tell anyone. Besides, what you're doing…it really isn't that big a deal. I mean, you're an exotic dancer, you're not a prostitute."

Now the lizard appeared very sour. "You know, you'd be amazed how many monsters don't seem to realize this. Why do you think I carry around a can of pepper spray? You wouldn't believe how many creeps I've blinded with it."

Sulley became very alarmed at this. "Why would you put up with that?!"

Randall shrugged, replying, "It comes with the territory. I was warned going in that guys would harass me and try to get me to do sexual favors for 'em. You get used to it after a while."

"Yeah, but…what if…." Sulley couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence, but there was no need, as Randall knew exactly what he was thinking.

"I'll be fine, Sullivan," he assured, his tone a little softer. "I've taken self-defense classes, so I'm sure I could handle myself if some bastard ever tried anything."

"Yeah, but…you just never know." He paused for a moment, appearing thoughtful. "Maybe I should just start coming over here and waiting for you to come out to make sure-"

"Hell. No."

"But-"

"No!"

"I'm only trying to-"

"I said no, Sullivan! You can forget it!"

"Hey!" a deep voice shouted from a few feet away. Both Randall and Sulley turned to the source of the voice, taking note of a rather large, brutish monster heading their way. "Is he bothering you?" he asked Randall as he began cracking his knuckles, glaring at the furry monster in front of him. Sulley took a nervous step back, very much intimidated by the monster's sheer size. He was twice the size of Sulley, with spikes running from the top of his head all the way down to his tail. His large, curly horns only added to his sinister appearance. He glanced at Randall, who was smiling up at the much larger monster.

"No, it's all right. I know this idiot from work. Everything's fine, Dave."

"Y-Yeah, everything's fine, Dave," Sulley stammered.

Dave simply nodded his head, though he still eyed Sulley suspiciously as he turned to continue his patrol around the club.

"Wimp," Randall chuckled, while Sulley breathed a sigh of relief.

"That guy could've killed me!"

"I know. Why do you think he's our bouncer?" Randall smiled affectionately as he watched the large monster retreat. "He may look like a brute, but he can be a big softie when he wants to be. But he can certainly break a bone when he wants to, too. He's a bit more protective of me than he is of the other dancers. I'm actually one of the smallest performers, which I guess is the reason people target me a lot. These creeps know better than to approach a guy who's bigger than them, but me? They look at me and think I'm a scrawny weakling." Randall turned to smirk at his co-worker. "But they'll be in for a rude awakening the next time they try anything."

Despite Randall's confidence, Sulley still couldn't shake his concern.

"Damn it, Sullivan, will you stop looking at me like that?"

"I'm sorry, I just…I still don't see how all this is worth it."

"Look, I'm not going to make this my living. In fact, I probably won't be doing it much longer, anyway. Like I said, I did this as a way to help build up my confidence, and I think I've achieved that. I guess the reason I hang around is because…well, in spite of all the perverts I have to deal with, I really like the people I work with. My co-workers are great, and my boss is supportive. I've gotten more encouragement from Richie in the few short months that I've worked here than I've ever gotten from Waternoose in the six plus years I've worked at that factory."

Sulley just stared down at his colleague sadly, unable to offer up a decent response. The awkward silence hung in the air for several seconds before it was broken by the voice of an elderly monster, who was shuffling his way towards the pair, his adoring gaze set squarely on Randall.

"Excuse me, but is this at all like catching the bouquet?" the elder monster asked as he held up the fedora for Randall to see. Sulley shot a quick glance at the monster beside him, expecting to find him looking repulsed, but was actually quite surprised to see him smiling at the old man.

"Are you doing well, Mr. Morris?"

"Always well whenever you're near."

"How's the new pacemaker?" Randall asked, stifling a laugh as he noticed the look on Sulley's face out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh, she's a work of art," the elderly monster replied as he patted his chest. "I really can't wait to put 'er to the test," he added with a wink.

Sulley was feeling an increasing urge to drop kick this man across the parking lot, while Randall just continued smiling at him.

"Is someone picking you up? You didn't drive over here yourself, did you?"

"No, no. My nephew's picking me up. Should be here any minute now. I just thought I'd commend you on your marvelous performance and return this to you as well." Mr. Morris beamed at the lizard as he returned the discarded hat to him. "Until we meet again, my lovely," he said adoringly as he blew the reptilian monster a kiss. Once he was well out of earshot, Randall finally turned to look at his co-worker, biting his lip in an attempt to keep himself from laughing as he took in his expression.

"I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Oh, get a grip, Sullivan."

"That guy was old enough to be your grandfather! I still don't see how you can put up with that."

Randall crossed his arms, still looking amused. "Really? Really, Sullivan? Were you not in there just minutes ago, whistling and gawking at me while throwing fifties my way? What makes you any better than him?"

Sulley blushed and looked away, unable to counter that retort.

"He's a sweet man. But he can get a little overly-excited sometimes. I gave him a lap dance for his eightieth birthday a few weeks ago, and the poor guy nearly went into cardiac arrest."

Sulley had to press a fist to his mouth to stifle his laughter. "I still can't believe none of this bothers you," he said as his amusement subsided.

"Well, it'd be pretty silly to let it bother me, wouldn't it? That'd be like a vegetarian taking a job at a fast food restaurant, and then getting offended when someone ordered a cheeseburger."

"There's no justification for someone trying to assault you, though," Sulley countered firmly, returning to their earlier discussion. Randall frowned, knowing there was no way he could disagree to that.

"I know, but like I said, I can handle myself. Quit your worrying."

Sulley only nodded, though there was still evident concern in his eyes. "So ugh….how well do you do in tips?" he asked, dropping the subject.

"Pretty well," Randall replied with a shrug. "One night I went home with two hundred dollars."

"Two hundred dollars?!" Sulley exclaimed. The lizard only nodded. "Geez….maybe I should dust off the ol' g-string."

"Aaand there's one mental image I'll never be able to vanquish from my mind," the smaller monster sighed as he rolled his eyes. "Don't even waste your time, Sullivan. You might be top scarer, but there's no way you'd ever be able to compete with me in this line of work."

Sulley smirked at this. "Oh yeah, I'd say you've done a fabulous job of building confidence."

Randall chuckled lightly, glancing at his watch. "Look, it's eleven thirty, I really need to get going. I'll see you at work Monday." He knew he wouldn't make it that far, and sure enough, before he could even take three steps away from his colleague, he heard him call out a question to him that he had already seen coming.

"Are you going to be here next weekend?"

Randall could have sworn his rival's tone sounded hopeful. He stopped and turned slightly, eying him curiously. "Were you planning on coming back?"

Sulley regretted the question instantly, looking to the ground as heat rushed to his face once again. "Well…I mean….if it's not too awkward for you?"

"You mean it wouldn't be awkward for you?"

There was a brief pause before Sulley replied, "No….I guess not." It was a surprise even to himself.

Gaze hardening slightly, Randall approached the furry monster again, smiling mischievously. "It's gonna cost you double, Sullivan."

"I'll remember to stop by the bank Friday," his co-worker laughed.

"Good, because I'm making it my mission to wipe out your entire savings." Smirking, Randall reached up and placed the fedora atop the other monster's head. "I'll see you then." With that, Randall started to leave again, wondering why he himself didn't find the idea of Sulley ogling him repulsive. Honestly, he felt somewhat empowered by it. Ideas of how he could distract the top scarer while on the scare floor started racing through his mind, but perhaps that'd be too risky. Still, it was amusing to think about.

Sulley stood there quietly, cheeks still burning as he watched Randall finally make it to his car. With the threshold of awkwardness having already been crossed, he shouted to him, "You know, I have a birthday coming up in about two weeks!" He managed to hold it together as he saw the lizard nearly drop his keys.

"Don't push your luck, Sullivan," Randall called back to him as he finally managed to get the door open. "You know, it's funny. We both discovered something new about each other tonight. Never would have guessed you played for the other team." Still smirking, Randall finally climbed into the car and started up the engine. Sulley just remained where he stood, watching his colleague leave with a lopsided grin.

"Wow," he finally said as he watched the car exit the parking lot, slowly plucking the fedora from his head. It took him a few moments for him to finally get his legs to move, but as soon as he turned around, he noticed a certain elderly monster standing there in front of him, smiling up at him impishly.

"You've got yourself a fiiiine piece of tail there, sonny," he said. Sulley's face twisted into an annoyed grimace.

"Is your nephew not here yet?!" he snapped as he stormed past the elder monster and made his way towards his car, wondering if his face would ever stop burning.

Author's Note: Let's be honest. Randall would make THE best stripper. Fact.

Honestly, though, the more I kept writing this, the more unbelievable and OOC it was. I don't know how believable I could have made a story about Randall being a stripper but...yeah. I know the characterization was off in this, and I'm sorry for that. I just saw the prompt on my dash and I went nuts.