The Phone Exchange
Beaubatons and Hogwarts decide to do a phone exchange - and what are Draco and Harry doing in prison?
Possibler slash. Please review.
Once upon a time, there lived two little girls who looked exactly the same in every way. Their
names were Ethereal and Neriedes. They went everywhere together, from as soon as they could
walk. But then, when they were four years old, their parents Lord Christophe Cruentes and Lady
Rialle Cruentes du Malfoy got a divorce. A rather messy, traumatic, I-get-this-it's-mine-no-I-get-
this-it's-mine battle of a divorce. The twins ended up separated - Ehl to the Lord Christophe, and
Neri to the Lady Rialle. The Lady Rialle was a very proper, prim, bitchy-behind-your-back sort
of person, and she began molding Neri into that sort of a person as soon as the whole divorce was
over; they lived in France. The Lord Christophe really couldn't care less about anything except
getting a one over on his ex-wife, and so Ehl was raised by horrible governesses and they tried to
mold her, but she ended up rebelling instead. She was often forced into the company of Draco, a
spoilt brat of a cousin, whom she despised. Then, at age eleven, both girls, who hadn't seen each
other for seven years, suddenly met up at Beaubatons. Ehl was very upset; having been raised in
England, she had wanted to go to Hogwarts. Also, she couldn't speak French. Then her sister,
Neri, no longer a) looked like her, b) liked her, c) acted like her, and d) was acting such a bitch
Ehl shunned her on sight. Then she saw Neozoic, who was acting a lot like her, and they became
firm friends and helped each other learn french. They were best friends, and both were outcasts,
and so it worked.
Ethereal adj delicate; spiritual; celestial.-ethereality, etherealness n.-ethereally adv.
Ethereal Cruentes, student of Beaubatons School for Magic, was currently staring at a piece of paper
that had, as if by fate, paired her with Draco Malfoy for the Phone Exchange that some mad Muggle
Studies professors had cooked up after Muggle Studies had been made compulsory. She hated Draco
Malfoy, ever since she learned that he was responsible for his father trying to execute that poor
Hippogriff. Sure, the creature had gotten away, but it had been a close call. And this was who she was
paired up with! She sighed in disgust, leaned back on her bed in her dorm room, and with the paper
clutched in her fist, she fell into a restless sleep.
Neozoic adj noting rocks from the Trias to the present time.
Neozoic Olith, also a student of Beaubatons, (who just happened to be Ethereal's best friend) was also
currently staring at his paper. He was matched with Virginia (Ginny) Weasly. He was extremely
annoyed. Virginia (Ginny) Weasly was an annoying little so and so who was always blushing if Potter so
much as looked at her. He was not looking forward to this. He sighed, gazing at the photo of Ethereal
and himself, posing in front of the school, making faces, that he had on his wall. She looked wonderful,
nothing like her sister, on whom he had a crush. He wondered how Ehl would take it, if he started
dating her sister. Would he pay her twin more attention then her? Would she react badly to it? It was
interesting to think about. And with that, he promptly forgot about Virginia (Ginny) Weasly, and
concentrated on thinking about Ethereal Contuse' twin.
Nereid n (pl Nereides) (Greek myth) a sea nymph.
Nereides Cruentes, Ethereal's twin, had been matched up with Ronald (Ron) Weasly. Her best
friend, Charlotte, had been matched up with Harry Potter. Nereides envied her because, let's face it, it
was Ronald (Ron) Weasley, for chrissakes. She and her group, the fleurs, were sitting across from
where Eth lay sleeping, gabbing quietly about who they had been matched with.
'Zey matche me wiz a profeseur,' said Helene, (Hell) in obvious indignation. 'Are zey allowed to
do zat?'
'I am not sure,' replied Gabrielle, Fleur Delacour's little sister, 'I am just glad zey did not match
me wiz 'Arry Potter. Remember ven Fleur vas in ze Triwizard Tournament, and 'Arry Potter 'ad to
rescue me? 'Ow embarrassing, to be paired wiz 'im now!'
'I agree with you,' said Nereides smoothly, adding, 'I only wish I 'ad gotten Draco Malfoy.
Except Ezereal got him. Lucky bitch.'
The rest of the fleurs grumbled about what an annoyance Ethereal was for a while, then they
went their separate ways to bed.
Ethereal adj delicate; spiritual; celestial.-ethereality, etherealness n.-ethereally adv.
When she woke up, the first thing she saw was her sister, Nereides, glaring down at her.
' 'Ere,' she said, shoving a mobile phone at Ehl, 'Zis is for you from ze teechers. Zey want us all
to 'ave one. Well? Aren't you going to zank me for getting you wun?'
'I would, but you haven't let me speak,' Ehl told her mildly.
Nereides huffed, and stalked off. Ehl shook her head in wonder. Incorrigible, she thought in
amusement. She got dressed, gathered her stuff, and went down to breakfast.
Neozoic adj noting rocks from the Trias to the present time.
Neo was already at their table when she got down there. Beaubatons was shaped like an
average high school, only very posh with an exterior like a castle. The Cafeteria was a room full of
tables for groups of four, some of which were pushed together. Neo and Eth's table was on it's own, as
it was just the two of them. They were given a wide berth, because of their strange appearance for
which they had been suspended many a time. The teachers had eventually given up.
Neo had extremely thick, Obsidian hair, bright blue eyes, and a huge, infectious grin. He was
also stick thin, six feet three inches tall, with an eyebrow ring, three earrings (all in the one ear) and a
nose ring.
Ehl had very curly, thick, blue hair, huge, almond shaped green eyes, and a mouth that was
always grinning evilly. It was not infectious (unless she was with Neo and they had done something
evil). She, too, was stick thin, only she had curves *cough*. She was six feet four inches tall, with two
eyebrow rings (same eyebrow), three earrings in each ear, two nose rings (same nostril) and two rings in
her lower lip. She also had a tattoo of Jesus' crown of thorns on her head, and a little Death of Rats on
her shoulder. Her real name was Ethereal, but she had taken out the 't' to make it seem more mysterious.
All in all the two of them were wild.
Nereides had straight, red hair, blue eyes, and a mouth that pouted naturally. She had high
cheek bones, was five feet four inches tall, was thin enough but not stick thin, and only had one piercing
in each ear. She thought Ehl was a show off; Ehl thought Neri was a stuck-up prudish bitch.
'Hey, Ehl,' said Neo, who wasn't French at all, but American, and from New York at that.
'Hey, Neo,' Ehl replied. 'What do we have first?'
'Um . . . Muggle Studies,' he groaned. 'I got Virginia (Ginny) Weasly. How 'bout you?'
'I got Draco Malfoy,' Ehl moaned. 'Draco Malfoy! That stuck up little bastard whose father is
best friends with mine! What am I going to do?'
'Give him some o' the old Ehl charm,' Neo grinned.
'What a great idea,' Ehl exclaimed, linking her arm in his as they got up and began to stroll to
class.
'Why, yes, it is a great idea. After all, this is my idea,' he said, mockingly. Ehl pushed him in protest at
the mocking, and they continued on towards muggle studies.
Nereid n (pl Nereides) (Greek myth) a sea nymph.
'Look at zem,' Gabrielle said in disgust, motioning to Ehl and Neo. 'What do zey sink zis is, a
private room? It is not, it is a public forum!'
'I agree wiz you, dear Gabrielle. But, don't you agree zat zey are made for each ozzer?' replied
Hell.
'Yes. . . I sink zey are made for each ozzer. Zey make a very cute couple,' Gabrielle giggled.
Nereides, her head on one side, beautiful red hair falling around and framing her face (this was
deliberate, and it had taken years to achieve the desired affect), commented, 'I sink zey are made for
each ozzer, yes; but neizzer of zem are cute. Zus zey cannot be a cute couple.' The rest of her group
agreed, and they went off to class.
Ethereal adj delicate; spiritual; celestial.-ethereality, etherealness n.-ethereally adv.
'Now,' began Fleur Delacour, Gabrielle's older sister and the Muggle Studies teacher, 'I want
you to phone up your 'pals, and ask zem sings like appearance, what zey like best at school, zat sort of
thing. Strike up a friendship wiz zem. Well? What are you waiting for? 'Urry up, people!"
With a sinking feeling, Ehl dialed the number. She knew Malfoy, and knew he knew her.
Things were not going to be great.
'Hello?' a bored English voice drawled.
'Hello. I am Ethereal. I assume you are Draco Malfoy.'
'Cut the crap, I know you hate me as much as I hate you. Now, what do you look like, bitch?'
'Oh, that was low,' she mocked. 'Come on, Malfoy, I know you can do better then that!'
'You are a fucking crackhoar bitch-slut who attempts to come on to every guy she sees. I saw
you, and that was when we were ten!'
'I think you have gotten Nereides and myself mixed up,' she said. 'I'm the one with blue hair.
And multiple body piercings.'
'We were ten,' he repeated.
'So? Please do not repeat that like a mantra. There is no point to it.'
The 'conversation' turned into a full-scale war, with both parties yelling into the phone at each
other and threatening to apparate to the other's school and disembowel them. Both fifth year classes
were listening with keen interest. This is how all their conversations went.
Neozoic adj noting rocks from the Trias to the present time.
Neo's conversation with Ginny went fine, until he stopped talking, listening to Ehl and her 'pal.
Ginny was threatening to hang up on him when he apologized, and told her he was listening to Ehl's
conversation with Malfoy.
'Oh, Malfoy's a right bastard,' Ginny said, sympathetically. 'He and my brother Ron are always
at each other's throats. Only Harry and 'Mione stop him killing Malfoy, although everyone wants him to.'
'Apparently Ehl's father is best friends with Malfoy's father and Ehl and Draco hate each other,
while Ehl's twin Neriedes has a crush on the guy. Neri's a right bitch, you'd do best to avoid her when
we come over.'
And so that was how Neo's conversations went - he realised he now had a crush on Virginia
(Ginny) Weasly.
Nereid n (pl Nereides) (Greek myth) a sea nymph.
With distaste clearly evident in her tone, Neriedes told Ron, 'Under no circumstances are you
to sink I like you, 'ave a crush on you or am 'appy about zis pairing. I 'ave a crush on Draco Malfoy.'
Don't worry,' Ron told her, distaste clearly evident in his voice too, 'I have a girlfriend.'
Silence.
And that was how their conversations went.
Ethereal adj delicate; spiritual; celestial.-ethereality, etherealness n.-ethereally adv.
They were traveling to England. Draco and herself had been arguing for three months now, so
as punishment they had to meet each other. Ehl was decidedly not happy about this. Neo was over the
moon. Neri was too, as she would finally be able to prove to Draco how much she had grown up over
the past five years since she had seen him last.
'Come on, Ehl, cheer up,' he coaxed, 'We're getting to see England.'
'I hate England,' said Ehl, 'It's wet and rainy and my family - not to mention Malfoy - are here!'
'Oh, will you please either cheer up or shut up?' he finally snapped with frustration.
'I don't wanna,' she said sullenly.
'yeah, well I'm happy, and your bad mood is making me unhappy, so either snap out of it, be
quiet or go away,' he snapped. Ehl said nothing. She was thinking about how amusing it would be if
Draco were gay, in luuuuurve with Harry Potter, and scorned by all of Hogwarts. She wondered how to
make a love Potion.
Beaubatons and Hogwarts decide to do a phone exchange - and what are Draco and Harry doing in prison?
Possibler slash. Please review.
Once upon a time, there lived two little girls who looked exactly the same in every way. Their
names were Ethereal and Neriedes. They went everywhere together, from as soon as they could
walk. But then, when they were four years old, their parents Lord Christophe Cruentes and Lady
Rialle Cruentes du Malfoy got a divorce. A rather messy, traumatic, I-get-this-it's-mine-no-I-get-
this-it's-mine battle of a divorce. The twins ended up separated - Ehl to the Lord Christophe, and
Neri to the Lady Rialle. The Lady Rialle was a very proper, prim, bitchy-behind-your-back sort
of person, and she began molding Neri into that sort of a person as soon as the whole divorce was
over; they lived in France. The Lord Christophe really couldn't care less about anything except
getting a one over on his ex-wife, and so Ehl was raised by horrible governesses and they tried to
mold her, but she ended up rebelling instead. She was often forced into the company of Draco, a
spoilt brat of a cousin, whom she despised. Then, at age eleven, both girls, who hadn't seen each
other for seven years, suddenly met up at Beaubatons. Ehl was very upset; having been raised in
England, she had wanted to go to Hogwarts. Also, she couldn't speak French. Then her sister,
Neri, no longer a) looked like her, b) liked her, c) acted like her, and d) was acting such a bitch
Ehl shunned her on sight. Then she saw Neozoic, who was acting a lot like her, and they became
firm friends and helped each other learn french. They were best friends, and both were outcasts,
and so it worked.
Ethereal adj delicate; spiritual; celestial.-ethereality, etherealness n.-ethereally adv.
Ethereal Cruentes, student of Beaubatons School for Magic, was currently staring at a piece of paper
that had, as if by fate, paired her with Draco Malfoy for the Phone Exchange that some mad Muggle
Studies professors had cooked up after Muggle Studies had been made compulsory. She hated Draco
Malfoy, ever since she learned that he was responsible for his father trying to execute that poor
Hippogriff. Sure, the creature had gotten away, but it had been a close call. And this was who she was
paired up with! She sighed in disgust, leaned back on her bed in her dorm room, and with the paper
clutched in her fist, she fell into a restless sleep.
Neozoic adj noting rocks from the Trias to the present time.
Neozoic Olith, also a student of Beaubatons, (who just happened to be Ethereal's best friend) was also
currently staring at his paper. He was matched with Virginia (Ginny) Weasly. He was extremely
annoyed. Virginia (Ginny) Weasly was an annoying little so and so who was always blushing if Potter so
much as looked at her. He was not looking forward to this. He sighed, gazing at the photo of Ethereal
and himself, posing in front of the school, making faces, that he had on his wall. She looked wonderful,
nothing like her sister, on whom he had a crush. He wondered how Ehl would take it, if he started
dating her sister. Would he pay her twin more attention then her? Would she react badly to it? It was
interesting to think about. And with that, he promptly forgot about Virginia (Ginny) Weasly, and
concentrated on thinking about Ethereal Contuse' twin.
Nereid n (pl Nereides) (Greek myth) a sea nymph.
Nereides Cruentes, Ethereal's twin, had been matched up with Ronald (Ron) Weasly. Her best
friend, Charlotte, had been matched up with Harry Potter. Nereides envied her because, let's face it, it
was Ronald (Ron) Weasley, for chrissakes. She and her group, the fleurs, were sitting across from
where Eth lay sleeping, gabbing quietly about who they had been matched with.
'Zey matche me wiz a profeseur,' said Helene, (Hell) in obvious indignation. 'Are zey allowed to
do zat?'
'I am not sure,' replied Gabrielle, Fleur Delacour's little sister, 'I am just glad zey did not match
me wiz 'Arry Potter. Remember ven Fleur vas in ze Triwizard Tournament, and 'Arry Potter 'ad to
rescue me? 'Ow embarrassing, to be paired wiz 'im now!'
'I agree with you,' said Nereides smoothly, adding, 'I only wish I 'ad gotten Draco Malfoy.
Except Ezereal got him. Lucky bitch.'
The rest of the fleurs grumbled about what an annoyance Ethereal was for a while, then they
went their separate ways to bed.
Ethereal adj delicate; spiritual; celestial.-ethereality, etherealness n.-ethereally adv.
When she woke up, the first thing she saw was her sister, Nereides, glaring down at her.
' 'Ere,' she said, shoving a mobile phone at Ehl, 'Zis is for you from ze teechers. Zey want us all
to 'ave one. Well? Aren't you going to zank me for getting you wun?'
'I would, but you haven't let me speak,' Ehl told her mildly.
Nereides huffed, and stalked off. Ehl shook her head in wonder. Incorrigible, she thought in
amusement. She got dressed, gathered her stuff, and went down to breakfast.
Neozoic adj noting rocks from the Trias to the present time.
Neo was already at their table when she got down there. Beaubatons was shaped like an
average high school, only very posh with an exterior like a castle. The Cafeteria was a room full of
tables for groups of four, some of which were pushed together. Neo and Eth's table was on it's own, as
it was just the two of them. They were given a wide berth, because of their strange appearance for
which they had been suspended many a time. The teachers had eventually given up.
Neo had extremely thick, Obsidian hair, bright blue eyes, and a huge, infectious grin. He was
also stick thin, six feet three inches tall, with an eyebrow ring, three earrings (all in the one ear) and a
nose ring.
Ehl had very curly, thick, blue hair, huge, almond shaped green eyes, and a mouth that was
always grinning evilly. It was not infectious (unless she was with Neo and they had done something
evil). She, too, was stick thin, only she had curves *cough*. She was six feet four inches tall, with two
eyebrow rings (same eyebrow), three earrings in each ear, two nose rings (same nostril) and two rings in
her lower lip. She also had a tattoo of Jesus' crown of thorns on her head, and a little Death of Rats on
her shoulder. Her real name was Ethereal, but she had taken out the 't' to make it seem more mysterious.
All in all the two of them were wild.
Nereides had straight, red hair, blue eyes, and a mouth that pouted naturally. She had high
cheek bones, was five feet four inches tall, was thin enough but not stick thin, and only had one piercing
in each ear. She thought Ehl was a show off; Ehl thought Neri was a stuck-up prudish bitch.
'Hey, Ehl,' said Neo, who wasn't French at all, but American, and from New York at that.
'Hey, Neo,' Ehl replied. 'What do we have first?'
'Um . . . Muggle Studies,' he groaned. 'I got Virginia (Ginny) Weasly. How 'bout you?'
'I got Draco Malfoy,' Ehl moaned. 'Draco Malfoy! That stuck up little bastard whose father is
best friends with mine! What am I going to do?'
'Give him some o' the old Ehl charm,' Neo grinned.
'What a great idea,' Ehl exclaimed, linking her arm in his as they got up and began to stroll to
class.
'Why, yes, it is a great idea. After all, this is my idea,' he said, mockingly. Ehl pushed him in protest at
the mocking, and they continued on towards muggle studies.
Nereid n (pl Nereides) (Greek myth) a sea nymph.
'Look at zem,' Gabrielle said in disgust, motioning to Ehl and Neo. 'What do zey sink zis is, a
private room? It is not, it is a public forum!'
'I agree wiz you, dear Gabrielle. But, don't you agree zat zey are made for each ozzer?' replied
Hell.
'Yes. . . I sink zey are made for each ozzer. Zey make a very cute couple,' Gabrielle giggled.
Nereides, her head on one side, beautiful red hair falling around and framing her face (this was
deliberate, and it had taken years to achieve the desired affect), commented, 'I sink zey are made for
each ozzer, yes; but neizzer of zem are cute. Zus zey cannot be a cute couple.' The rest of her group
agreed, and they went off to class.
Ethereal adj delicate; spiritual; celestial.-ethereality, etherealness n.-ethereally adv.
'Now,' began Fleur Delacour, Gabrielle's older sister and the Muggle Studies teacher, 'I want
you to phone up your 'pals, and ask zem sings like appearance, what zey like best at school, zat sort of
thing. Strike up a friendship wiz zem. Well? What are you waiting for? 'Urry up, people!"
With a sinking feeling, Ehl dialed the number. She knew Malfoy, and knew he knew her.
Things were not going to be great.
'Hello?' a bored English voice drawled.
'Hello. I am Ethereal. I assume you are Draco Malfoy.'
'Cut the crap, I know you hate me as much as I hate you. Now, what do you look like, bitch?'
'Oh, that was low,' she mocked. 'Come on, Malfoy, I know you can do better then that!'
'You are a fucking crackhoar bitch-slut who attempts to come on to every guy she sees. I saw
you, and that was when we were ten!'
'I think you have gotten Nereides and myself mixed up,' she said. 'I'm the one with blue hair.
And multiple body piercings.'
'We were ten,' he repeated.
'So? Please do not repeat that like a mantra. There is no point to it.'
The 'conversation' turned into a full-scale war, with both parties yelling into the phone at each
other and threatening to apparate to the other's school and disembowel them. Both fifth year classes
were listening with keen interest. This is how all their conversations went.
Neozoic adj noting rocks from the Trias to the present time.
Neo's conversation with Ginny went fine, until he stopped talking, listening to Ehl and her 'pal.
Ginny was threatening to hang up on him when he apologized, and told her he was listening to Ehl's
conversation with Malfoy.
'Oh, Malfoy's a right bastard,' Ginny said, sympathetically. 'He and my brother Ron are always
at each other's throats. Only Harry and 'Mione stop him killing Malfoy, although everyone wants him to.'
'Apparently Ehl's father is best friends with Malfoy's father and Ehl and Draco hate each other,
while Ehl's twin Neriedes has a crush on the guy. Neri's a right bitch, you'd do best to avoid her when
we come over.'
And so that was how Neo's conversations went - he realised he now had a crush on Virginia
(Ginny) Weasly.
Nereid n (pl Nereides) (Greek myth) a sea nymph.
With distaste clearly evident in her tone, Neriedes told Ron, 'Under no circumstances are you
to sink I like you, 'ave a crush on you or am 'appy about zis pairing. I 'ave a crush on Draco Malfoy.'
Don't worry,' Ron told her, distaste clearly evident in his voice too, 'I have a girlfriend.'
Silence.
And that was how their conversations went.
Ethereal adj delicate; spiritual; celestial.-ethereality, etherealness n.-ethereally adv.
They were traveling to England. Draco and herself had been arguing for three months now, so
as punishment they had to meet each other. Ehl was decidedly not happy about this. Neo was over the
moon. Neri was too, as she would finally be able to prove to Draco how much she had grown up over
the past five years since she had seen him last.
'Come on, Ehl, cheer up,' he coaxed, 'We're getting to see England.'
'I hate England,' said Ehl, 'It's wet and rainy and my family - not to mention Malfoy - are here!'
'Oh, will you please either cheer up or shut up?' he finally snapped with frustration.
'I don't wanna,' she said sullenly.
'yeah, well I'm happy, and your bad mood is making me unhappy, so either snap out of it, be
quiet or go away,' he snapped. Ehl said nothing. She was thinking about how amusing it would be if
Draco were gay, in luuuuurve with Harry Potter, and scorned by all of Hogwarts. She wondered how to
make a love Potion.