"Strange that you might enjoy walking through a cemetery with me, when we're surrounded by the war that creates this."
Miles took a moment to let her catch up to him, and took a more comfortable and natural place just behind her right shoulder. She didn't seem to notice.
"Cemeteries," he provided, turning his eyes about them thoughtfully, "though being places of the dead, are totally absent of death itself." She paused this time, to think on that, before nodding some.
"I suppose you're right."
This was to be a quiet, calm walk, as all of the ones they shared were. Miles had grown to like them, and he liked to think the Major General had, as well. Initially, they'd been about scouting the land, getting to know their surroundings, but as the years passed, they became almost friendly. They were comfortable, and necessary in order to keep the Major General sane. She had enough to worry about on a daily basis as it were; end of the season walks were the best way to make sure she unwound. At least, in a way that didn't involve the serious injury of any of her officers.
"The birds are out already," Miles commented, as a crow blew by with a loud caw. The Major General slowed, to watch it interact with a few of its fellows, some train of thought that Miles knew he would never be able to follow reaching out to those birds before she moved on, with a slight sniff. She had a need to remind herself that she was higher than that.
"Yes. It's going to be a warm season."
"Which may not be good for us..." Miles thought aloud. If the Major General heard him, she said nothing.
"So I have to ask - out of curiosity, have you ever been with a woman?"
Miles stopped. Among the rest of their small talk, they'd never, ever even touched on something like this. He blinked after her, watched her figure darkened from the glasses he was too accustomed to to notice walk on as if nothing had happened, and then quickly and suddenly caught up with her. There was no sign of any emotion on her face that might betray her, and Miles let his head drop, pointedly avoiding her gaze. He...couldn't lie to her. She was his superior officer, and not to mention - just the way she was naturally! Besides, the question seemed innocent enough.
"...No." Still no reaction, as Miles glanced up, cheeks colouring just slightly despite himself, angering him some. What was there to be embarrassed about! It wasn't something he'd really ever done, that's all. Not many women had ever approached him, and he wasn't the type to initiate something like that. He'd also not known very many Ishvalan women, really. Not any his age, at least, to whom it would seem more natural that he should be interested. It wasn't something that should bother him. It didn't seem to bother the Major General, after all.
"Would you like to be?" Once again, Miles had to fight the urge to stop in his tracks, blinking up at her in something like confusion. What...what exactly did she mean by that?
"I...suppose it would depend on the woman." A safe answer, and an honest one. If the woman was going on the tangent he thought she was...
"Oh? And what kind of woman would that be?" A woman like you, he caught himself thinking, but chastised himself. It would be much safer to answer her...generally.
"...I've never really thought about it." Alright, less general than an outright lie. He'd thought plenty of times about her - er...about women. It was at this point, however, that Miles had to make his best effort not to think about women. It would only lead to very large problems.
What followed, though extensive, was anything but an example of the comfortable silences they usually shared on these walks. It was awkward, for lack of a better description. The Major General, to Miles' relief, was the one to break it.
"Are you thinking about it now?" she asked. Miles felt like he wanted to scream. How did he end up in this position? He knew she knew, he knew that she was just playing him, and he'd never felt so helpless against her in his life. If only he could treat this like every other time they sat down and talked...honestly, with a hint of sardonic humour, a conversation between old war buddies. Maybe...he could?
"Would you like me to?" he responded, glancing at her with something like a smirk. Finally looking back at her, Miles realised he'd never wanted to slap that ever-so-slight look of haughty smugness off of her face before. Consequently, he wondered why the hell not.
"If you'd like."
Well, an expected answer. Miles took a moment, honestly wondering how to describe the woman he constantly saw in his head.
"I suppose...an intelligent woman." It was good to leave all physical descriptors out, for as long as possible, at least. "Accepting, strong enough to deal with me...."
"Is that all?" the Major General asked after only a short pause. Hell, if she didn't know, she was trying to.
"Attractive?" Miles offered, his voice somewhat unsteady, as his entire psyche was running around in a panic now. How would she treat him once she knew? Would it even matter?
"Attractive how?" To that, his sarcasm suddenly returned, and he answered with only enough hesitation to be called timing.
"Well...attractive to me, preferably." The Major General smirked. Miles tried not to grin, an awkward, bashful gesture he couldn't believe he'd almost performed. How pathetic! The Major General took a pause of her own, and as she spoke back up Miles could only guess she'd been contemplating her wording.
"Well, I just happen to know of a woman...who matches most of those descriptors," she said, her pace even and her eyes forward as she walked. Casual, offhand, as if they weren't really having this conversation. Her eyes glanced over at him inconspicuously, and Miles had to fight the urge to look away. "And happens to be very much attracted to you."
The air of comfort was gone, like a bomb being dropped. There was a long, long silence, awkward and uncomfortable for both parties. The Major General's steps weaved just slightly, and Miles stared down at the gravel beneath them, listened to it crunch. He took a long time just debating whether he should even answer that question. And before he knew it, words were coming from his mouth, whether he liked it or not.
"Oh? ...Do I know this woman?" If the Major General was shocked by this question, she didn't show it. Her steps evened out, and Miles made a point of staring away from her again. He didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.
"I think so. She is smart, strong, doesn't care who or what you are, as long as you are loyal and stay firm to your duty." Where Miles had been pointedly vague, diplomatic as it were, the Major General was expectedly and blatantly straightforward. Miles felt a pang in the core of his chest, and laughed softly, a nervous laugh.
"This is beginning to sound strangely familiar."
"Do you know her, then?" A quick response, heralding the Major General's sharp and icy eyes flying to Miles' face. The man spared her a glance, but reminded himself that she probably couldn't see his eyes at this angle. He hesitated before responding, not sure whether to give in.
"...I might. Go on." Those eyes, now skeptical where they were expectant, slid slowly off of him and stared forward again, giving enough time for a comfortable pause. Miles felt for a moment like he should stop and catch his breath.
"She is...an excellent swordswoman," the Major General continued after a moment, speaking slowly to allow herself to think. Miles looked pointedly away again, shaking his head. "Built, toned. Attractive, in a way most would describe as....voluptuous."
She glanced at him again, and probably noticed that he was grinning like a madman, laughing at the absolute irony, though his face was turned away from her still. After a moment, she continued.
"What many people would call a blond bombshell." Miles coughed softly, instead of laughing.
"The woman I know by that description is...how to say it?" Nicely. "A little demanding." The Major General offered that high-brow upturn of her nose that Miles had come to recognise. She sniffed a little, her voice slightly higher whens he spoke again, though the tinge of a smirk was on her lips.
"I never said she wasn't demanding. That's where the bombshell comes in." The smallest of pauses, enough for the smile to change. "But she very much loves you. And she hopes that you might love her back."
Love. She had spoken the word; now was the time to stop playing games. The sarcasm and sunjective tone vanished from Miles' speech and entire demeanour as if it had fallen completely, a heavy weight that fell with a loud crash. When he spoke again, his voice was low and serious.
"Hope never got anyone very far, Major General. Why would you want to do that?" She paused, a longer time now, as if seriously contemplating his question. Her tone when she answered, however, was light.
"Perhaps...I'm a hopeful woman."
Miles offered her nothing but a derisive laugh. They had arrived at the back of the base, and paused for a moment in their conversation to get clearance, and start back inside. After a moment, Miles spoke up again, reverting this time back to the relation of a third party to their conversation.
"And what makes this woman so hopeful that I might love her back?" The word itched in his throat, stung his lips as he spoke it, made his tongue cramp and his stomach churn. The very thought was almost wretched. Love.
"Let's say...she's heard a confession." A...what? Miles actually did pause, for just a moment, missing his steps by a beat. The Major General pretended not to notice, as the man stared downward again, in deep and solemn curiosity.
"...And in what context was that?" It took only a split second for her to find the words this time.
"In what could be loosely called...an interrogation in the shower?"
She spoke lightheartedly, as if it were a joke, but the comment plunged Miles instantly into a long, upset pause. He knew what she was referring to, and couldn't believe she had the audacity to. Not in public, at first, but more in general. How could she take such a personal thing and turn it so literal, use it to her own means? He supposed she wouldn't have made it to General if she hadn't been able to manipulate those around her...he knew so. But...he'd never thought he'd be one of those people.
Miles walked much slower, letting the woman step ahead of him, as if nothing at all was amiss. It was when she actually slowed her own steps, and looked pointedly back at him, that he felt soft words cross his lips.
"And if I said I did love her?"
"Do you?" Another instant response, spoken with the true enthousiasm of one whose very heart hangs on the answer. Miles paused again, frowning deeper.
"...What is love, Major General?"
This time, it was Olivier who paused. They fell into step once more, but those steps slowed, and eventually stopped. She turned to face him, watching him for only a moment before she realised he wasn't going to look up at her, and looked away.
"Love is...being supportive, being helpful, wanting the best for that person, and all of them, for as long as the feeling exists." She couldn't think he hadn't caught that.
"And when the feelings end?" In that moment Miles realised that in all the time he'd known her, he had never heard the Major General honestly sigh. There was a first time for everything.
"I suppose...that the feelings could subside, but that it is important while it lasts." The pause was short this time, and it was Miles who had to sigh. It was so obvious, so plainly stated in those words, that he couldn't deny it. There was nothing else to say.
"In that context...I suppose I do love you, Major General." Those crimson eyes, hidden from the world, came up onto the Major General's piercing, smiling blue, reflecting triumph in dark lenses. She looped her arm through his, and as if one being of thought, they began to walk once more.
"And in that context, I love you as well."
A pleasant pause passed between them, not quite like the friendly silences they'd shared before, but of the same quality. The same relaxed happiness, with a tinge of something much more real. Something a little more tangible, and a lot nicer. Miles turned his eyes up to the sky, and then over the lands around them, seeing things he'd been trained to see, old memories and new predictions. The frown that wanted to come for it couldn't, though. It had been banished by the small smile that now liked to call his lips home.
"No matter what happens this season," he offered, pulling the woman just slightly closer, sharing the sentiment with her in a way no one else would understand, "I think it is good to know that we have this, at least." She seemed to ponder that for just a moment, before nodding, a curt and very stereotypical gesture, that for all its harshness was the best punctuation to a complicated and mildly antagonistic thought. Old war buddies...and such new friends.
"For as long as it may last."