I sit in my room, gazing inquisitively at my small wardrobe. I don't own much, Abnegation aren't allowed to. We can't afford to and it's considered selfish to own a lot of items that we don't need. There's not enough money in our faction as we give a lot of it away to the factionless. But I love my wardrobe. It's a small oak thing, with my name engraved onto it 'Eponine' I left out my last name, Thenardier, as I don't want to be a Thenardier for long, I don't want to be an Abnegation for long.
I'm 16 and next week I will choose my faction.
Our county was divided into five different factions Abnegation (the selfless ), Dauntless (the brave), Erudite (the intelligent), Candor (the honest) and Amity (the peaceful).
We aren't allowed to know much about why we are in factions, that's just how things are and we aren't supposed to question things, nor do we know about the other countries. Of course there are legends, myths and horror stories about the other countries, why we are separated from the rest of the world and why we are in factions, but many don't sound at all realistic and no one really believes them anymore.
All of the factions go to school together, but are mainly separated from each other and don't generally talk to one another. We are told that it's best not to mix. Under 16's aren't officially a part of their faction yet, it is the faction that there were born in: nothing more, nothing less.
At the end of the year, when you leave school for the last time, you are 16. After you leave school there is a huge choosing ceremony where you can pick what faction you will stay in. There are never too many transfers and most people stick by their faction, but there are always quite a few transfers. People from Abnegation hardly ever change factions though, it is considered selfish to abandon your family and we were raised to be selfless… most of us.
My parents are the exact opposite of selfless and were both raised in Erudite before they transferred to Abnegation when they were 16. Erudite aren't evil, but they are smart and cunning. My parents only transferred to Abnegation because they knew how selfless Abnegation are and how easy they would be to con.
My parents are ruthless people and don't care who they have to step over to get wa=hat they want, they even beat my little brother Gavroche who is only 11.
That's why I am changing faction.
I don't know which faction I should go to yet, probably either Dauntless or Erudite.
There is a test that we are all required to take to see which faction we belong to, it does not affect which faction we have to go to as it is our choice, but it is supposed to help us with our decision, telling us who we are.
I don't believe it. How can a test tell me who I am when I don't even know myself?
The test is tomorrow and a lot of the 16 year olds are talking about how nervous they are, I don't join in the conversations for two very simple reasons. One: I'm not nervous. Two: I don't have any friends.
I don't get along with the other Abnegation girls, including my sister, Azelma. Azelma is the perfect Abnegation, always doing anything that's asked of her without any complaints. She is also 16, I'm older then her but not by much.
I'm almost 100% sure that she will choose Abnegation. She is so different from my family. My parents are similar, my brother Gavroche and I are similar and Azelma is… Azelma.
Azelma is very passive and doesn't really do anything. Right now she is sitting on her small wooden stool and staring blankly at the wall. She ignores me most of the time and never communicates with me saying that I have a bad attitude and am too selfish. She says that I'm a bad influence on Gavroche, which I admit may be true. She has stringy blonde hair that never really looks clean, even after it is washed, grey eyes that seem distant and to never really be looking at you and she always wears grey, like we all have to in Abnegation.
Gavroche is my little brother who is only 11 and is the only thing that makes me consider staying in this dump that we call a faction. Gavroche and I look about as alike as a cat and a mouse. Gav has curly blonde hair, bright blue eyes that always seem so full of hope and never truly look sad and always gets his grey clothes dirty so they appear to be brown, much to my parent's displeasure.
And I have long dark brown wavy hair and chocolate brown eyes, I look plain and don't normally stand out, but that's a good thing as Abnegation aren't allowed to stand out.
When Gavroche is 16 I am sure that he will change faction, probably to Dauntless. But what about the 5 years until he turns 16? Will he survive 5 years on his own? I had Azelma since I was very young and we used to help each other when mother and father beat us. Azelma doesn't help me anymore and doesn't let me help her. I remember a conversation with her about it.
"Azelma, why don't you fight back like you used to? You used to be so strong. What happened?" I ask, staring at her with my brown coffee coloured eyes.
"Mother and Father are just punishing us for what we have done. Fighting back would be disobeying them, disobeying our parents who care for us would be selfish," she replies, staring at me seriously with her cold grey eyes.
"But we haven't done anything except be around when they are angry!" I shout, unable to control my temper. What have they done, brainwashed her?
"We shouldn't have been in their way," she replies without a nanosecond's hesitation.
I stare at her for a long while, checking if she's actually serious. She is.
"Azelma, we didn't mean to be in their way. We are just sitting around and then they come into the room that we were in first and—" I start, talking quickly unable to contain my words. That always was one of my worst faults: I can't contain what I say. If I think it, I say it. Maybe I would be good in Candor after all…
"We shouldn't have been sitting around when there were chores to do!" she says finally and I know that this conversation is over.
I check our old grandfather clock for the time. It reads 9:45. We should all get to bed now, as Azelma and I have a big day tomorrow and have to wake up early to go to the tests and Gav won't go to sleep unless I wish him goodnight and tuck him in.
I slip on my old, tattered whiter slippers and my white dressing gown that is far too big for me. I am still grateful for it though, as it is Winter and it provides warmth.
I quietly open the door of my room, trying my hardest to not allow it to creak and I quietly tiptoe out of my room, not wanting to rouse my parents from their drunken slumber. I tiptoe over to Gav's room and quietly tap his door, making sure not to walk straight in as he hates when I do that and always complains.
"Gav?" I whisper quietly when he doesn't answer my knock.
"Ponine?" he asks, opening his door widely to see if it's me. His face lights up like a spark when he sees me and he jumps into my arms giving me a tight hug.
"Woah there Gav, calm down a little," I say, chuckling at him, then quietly add "you don't want to wake mama and papa."
Gavroche nods in understanding and grabs my arm to pull me into his room and closes the door behind us.
"You know the routine, get into bed," I say, raising an eyebrow when he sits down on the floor, "bed, now Gav."
Gavroche groans and glares at me, sticking out his tongue before he bursts into a mad fit of giggles and jumps onto his bed.
"Are you nervous?" he suddenly asks me as he crawls under the covers.
I grab his foot from where it's poking out from the edge of it bed and tickle it, causing him to laugh. "Nervous about what?"
"You know Pony. The test," he replies as if it is the most obvious thing in the world, then kicks me in the face with the foot that I was tickling.
"Jeez Gav!" I exclaim, covering my nose and being careful not to curse in front of the young boy, "be careful. And no, I'm not nervous. Nothing to be nervous about."
Gavroche stares at me for a while, taking in what I just said. It's not normal, everybody is supposed to be nervous. "Why not?" he eventually asks. Gav is always like that, always asking awkward questions that I can't answer.
"I don't know, I'm just… not nervous. It doesn't mean that you have to go to the faction that they say you belong in," I reply.
"But everyone knows that the test is completely accurate, what if you get the faction that you don't want? You won't have to choose that faction, but you will always know that is where you truly belong. With the faction that you detest," he tells me, giving me an awkward smile when he's finished talking.
"Wow Gav, thanks for the confidence boost," I thank sarcastically.
"But Eppy, you said you weren't nervous so I just—" he begins to defend himself, but I brush him off, telling him to go to sleep. "But you haven't wished me goodnight yet!" he reminds me, waving his arms in the air when I try to leave the room.
I giggle at the young boy and tell him, "goodnight Gavroche," and I quietly open his door and tiptoe back to me and Azelma's room.
"What were you doing?" hisses Azelma when I re-enter our room.
"Telling Gavroche goodnight," I reply defensively, "it's not selfish to wish your brother goodnight."
"That is true, but you were having a conversation with him," she replies. I can't stop staring at her cold grey eyes.
"So? How's that selfish?" I ask, now very confused.
"You were keeping him awake talking and me awake waiting for you," she replies quickly.
"Oh calm down Azelma, I'm just gonna go to sleep," I say tiredly, taking off my slippers and dressing gown, "we have a big day tomorrow."
"I suppose you're right," she replies eventually.
"Night Zelma," I say, climbing onto the top bunk of the bed that Azelma and I share.
"Goodnight Eponine," she replies, lying down on her bed and closing her eyes after turning off the lights.
I fall asleep thinking about tomorrow, now irrationally worried thanks to Gavroche.
Hi guys! I worked really hard to write this, so please review!