He's gone...how...how can he be gone? I witnessed it myself...yet I still can't believe it...K-Kaito...how could I let this happen? It should have been me not you...I could have saved you...yet I was to shocked by what was happening that I couldn't move...

I can still hear the screeching of the car tires as they tried to stop...I can still see the look of shock and fear on your face when you saw it coming...worst of all...I can still hear your scream...it echoes in my head repeatedly...

I should have pushed you out of the way...I saw it...but I was frozen in place...like my feet had been cemented to the floor...all I did was reach an arm out to you like some how by the will of my mind you would have been pushed out of the way by some unseen force...all I could to was watch with wide eyes as you, the love of my life, faced your last seconds...

I can't help but wonder what your last thoughts were...did your life flash before your eyes? Did you wish, like me, that we would of had more time with each other? We may have known each other all our lives...but we've only been together for two years...that used to seem like such a long time... But now it seems so short...

I wish I could hold you one last time...To kiss your soft sweet lips once more...to hear your beautiful voice sing one last song...or to hear you laugh...I want to run my fingers through your soft hair...to feel your soft skin...to tell you that I love you and see you smile your shy smile again...Why? Why did I have to lose you? It's not fair that I have to live on with out you...I don't know how I'll do it...because I have live on don't I?...you wouldn't like it if I ended my life just because your gone...but...what else do I have to live for now? You were my life my world...I loved you so much and still do...why are you gone? Why did it have to be you? Why did you have to be walking ahead of me and not by my side where you would have been safe...or where we could have gone together...

I don't know if I'll ever touch another bottle of alcohol in my life...the drunk driver who took you from me...he...he made me hate the substance...though...a glass to drown my sorrows away wouldn't be bad either...but...you wouldn't want me to do that...no Kaito...you'd want me to move on and live a happy life...I don't know if that's possible with out you...

The others...they're all going to miss you terribly too... The big childish brother that everyone loved...I guess I shouldn't be selfish and think I'm the only one who's hurt by your departing...in fact...I should probably turn to them for help and comfort...

Heh...I'm sitting here in our room...curled up on our bed with your scarf...which for some reason you didn't wear that day...you loved this thing almost as much as you loved ice cream...you once told me the only thing you loved more than those two things was me...I felt so special when you told me that...I mean...coming from you that meant you loved me a lot...

No more tears fall down my face...I've run out I've cried so much...I could have sworn that I felt you wipe away my tears after I cried myself to sleep the night it happened...I felt your lips brush my cheek...and I heard you whisper "I'm sorry this happened...but please be strong...I love you...good bye"

I've been strong...as strong as I can be after that... You know I'm a strong person...but everyone breaks down some times don't they...? I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't shed tears for you...

Tomorrow is the day...the day we all say good bye...the end...I wonder if I'll have any tears left by then... I guess we'll see won't we...

I know you'll always be with me...that you'll always be there...but...I want you by my side...to really be there...

But I guess this is...

The end…

Good bye…