Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns the characters, not me.
A/N: This is quick one-shot that came into my head one night. Paul is always such a jerk in my other stories, and I kind of feel sorry for the guy. I guess I wanted him to have one night of feeling like someone cared about him. This takes place soon after Leah phases, and before Paul even meets Rachel.
He walked to edge of the cliff and looked out at the water. A huge moon was rising over the water and it's reflection moved with the waves. He sat back on his haunches and relaxed for a moment. When he phased into his wolf body for the first time, he was freaked out. But now, he loved how strong this body was and how it made him feel so in control. The adrenaline rush he got chasing a vampire and catching it and tearing it apart . . . it was like nothing else. Better than sex. Almost.
He had been on patrol tonight and now that it was over, he had no where to go. He hated going home. He lived with his grandma, along with his two little half-brothers. His dad was in jail, and who knew where their mom was. Probably drugged out somewhere in L.A. She only showed up when she ended up with another kid she didn't want to raise or when she was hiding from the cops. His grandma did the best she could, but she was too old to work and they lived on her Social Security and what little he brought in from his job at the grocery store. It wasn't easy keeping a job. Being a werewolf was a full-time job lately with all the vamps they had running around chasing the Swan chick. He didn't mind really. He'd rather chase vampires than bag groceries and stock shelves. But being a werewolf didn't come with a paycheck.
Paul was actually enjoying some peace and quiet when he sensed her approaching. He tensed as he heard, "Since when do you come here? This is my spot."
"Geez, Leah, I didn't know. I must have missed the fucking sign."
"Whatever, I'll go." She turned to leave and for some reason, he thought, "Stay."
She turned to look at him. She was confused. All the guys in the pack pretty much hated her, but Paul especially. He always had some snarky comment or insult to hurl at her. Why would he want her to stay? She walked back over to him and sat down. She tuned into his thoughts and felt his loneliness. She was very familiar with that feeling.
"Don't want to go home?"
"Why would I? There's no peace and quiet there. The little demon spawn running around screaming all the time. I just came here to find some quiet."
"I get that. I find looking out at the water kind of calms me somehow."
"Yea." They sat there side-by-side in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Both of them in pain. Leah's due to lost love, when Sam imprinted on her cousin, Emily, and Paul's . . . well, Paul was practically born with his pain. He had never felt wanted his whole life. His mom never failed to remind him that he was a mistake, born from a night with too much tequila and a broken condom. His dad had been in and out of jail Paul's whole life. He could only remember seeing him maybe 5 or 6 times in his 18 years of living.
Leah learned a lot sitting by Paul that night. She could feel his pain and see into his thoughts. It explained a lot to her about his attitude toward everyone. Paul was the pack jerk, just like she was the pack bitch. And Paul could feel Leah's pain for once. Really feel it. He knew that Sam had imprinted on her cousin and how badly she had taken it. Hell, she let everyone know how bad she felt! But sitting here with her, he found a new understanding. It wasn't just Sam . . . it was the death of her father followed by losing her dream of going away to college by becoming a werewolf. She had lost love, a parent, and a dream in the last few months.
"Sometimes I sit up here and wonder what's on the other side of this water. I wonder what it would be like to have the freedom to just leave here and go find out."
He found that funny. "We don't have the freedom to take a shit without asking. I guess I just live with it and don't think about things that can never happen."
"I know. The only freedom I have is running in this body. To run the rez and feel the wind blow across me . . . pretty pathetic, isn't it?"
"Yea. We're told where and when to patrol, when to sleep, when to eat, and now with all the imprinting shit happening, we don't even get to pick out who we can love. I love being a wolf, don't get me wrong. I just wish I had some say in things I guess."
"Me, too."
Suddenly, Paul shifted back to his human body. He shook for a few seconds as the phasing wore off then he sat down on the ground. Leah looked at him and wondered why he did that. Maybe he was done sharing his thoughts with her and he truly wanted to be alone. She stood and turned to go and again he simply said, "Stay."
She wasn't as comfortable with nudity as he and the rest of the pack were. But as she stood there and looked at him, sitting there with his knees drawn up, staring out at the water, she felt feelings for Paul that she had never felt before. He was a kind of kindred spirit . . . someone who understood pain because he had lived with it his whole life. Leah had only carried her pain for a few months.
She allowed herself to phase right there instead of hiding like she usually did. When she was in control of her human body, she sunk down to sit beside him on the hard ground. She pulled her knees up in front of her and looked out at the water. He gave her a sideways glance and a smile played at his lips.
"What?" she asked as she noticed his glance.
"No hiding to phase? No covering yourself?" He looked back out at the water and added, "I like it, Clearwater. This is how you should always be: proud and strong."
She smiled to herself. She liked that. Proud and strong. Maybe he had a point. Instead of hiding from them, she should dare them to look at her. She rested her chin on her knees and really thought about that.
"Nights are the hardest," he said softly. He hated the nights. He wanted so badly to have a place to call his own. To have his own bed to sleep in instead of a lumpy couch in his grandma's living room. But most of all, he wanted to hold someone while he slept. Someone that would make him feel . . . like he worth something.
"Yea, I hate nights, too. They go on too long sometimes." She hated the dreams most of all. The dreams that seemed so real . . . the arms that held her and made her feel safe, and the lips that kissed her and told her he would love her forever. Then she would wake up to find them gone. Forever.
They turned to look at each other at the same time. Leah was pulled into Paul's intent gaze and she could see in his eyes how his loneliness matched hers. It had been so long since Leah had kissed anyone. She didn't realize she was moving toward Paul until her lips met his.
He felt his arm moving before he was even aware of what he was doing . . . his hand touching Leah's cheek. He leaned toward her and stared at her lips, coming closer and closer until they met his. He moved his lips over hers and felt a fire burning in the pit of his stomach. It had been too long since he had had sex, and he felt himself go hard instantly.
She realized how badly she wanted to feel those strong arms around her and moved closer to him. He put those arms around her and deepened the kiss by pushing at her lips with his tongue. As her tongue met his, she felt a shudder of arousal go through her that surprised her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tangled her fingers into his hair and pulled.
Oh, how he liked that little tug on his hair. He wanted to bury himself in her and feel nothing but Leah around him. He laid her back onto the ground and kissed his way down to her perfectly round breasts. Her nipples were already standing up and he sucked one of them into his mouth. She arched her back and cried out as he teased and sucked. He had the other nipple between his fingers and he was pinching it and rolling it. She still had her hands in his hair and she pulled at it as she moaned.
She was amazed at how good that felt and she wanted to forget everything and just be in this moment. Paul let his hand drift down her stomach to find the soft spot between her legs. He looked up at her as his finger dipped inside. She gasped as he moved it slowly in and out. He couldn't believe how wet she was already and he pulled his finger up to find her little nub and he stroked it and played with it until she was panting and begging him not to stop. He watched her face as she let go and enjoyed her orgasm and it was almost too much for him.
He laid beside her and kissed her lips and asked, "How did that feel?"
"Amazing. Fucking amazing." He smiled at that. She rolled to her side and touched his face. Then she ravaged his lips and reached out to take him in her hand. She stroked him and pulled at him until he thought he would lose it. He wanted to wait, he wanted to hold back, but it had been too long. He rolled her to her back and moved over her. "I need you, baby, now!" he said as he plunged into her. "Yes!" she cried out as he pulled back and drove into her again, feeling her fingernails dig into his shoulders. He pulled her leg up over his shoulder and drove into her faster and harder. All he could feel was her wrapped around him and she was so tight and hot and wet . . . and then he heard her scream out, "Yessss! Oh yess!" and he could feel her contract around him and then he let go and felt his whole body shudder with his climax.
She held on to him tight as he lay there trying to catch his breath. He kissed her neck as she put a kiss on his shoulder. Finally he rolled to the side and closed his eyes. What would be the price paid for this? What would she expect from him? What would he expect from her?
She rolled to her side and ran her hand through his hair. He couldn't believe how much he liked that. He finally opened his eyes to look over at her. She smiled and said, "Wow. I needed that."
He actually laughed . . . something he didn't do nearly enough. "God, me too." They lay there quietly for a moment, neither of them really knowing what to say. Then Leah asked softly, "Where are you sleeping tonight?"
He shrugged. "Home or maybe Jared's."
"How about . . . here?" she suggested hesitantly.
He smiled. He had always wanted to hold someone all night while he slept. He had had sex with plenty of girls, but he had never slept all night with one. "Won't you get into trouble for not showing up at home?"
"I can always come up with an excuse. It's a nice warm night. I feel like camping," she told him with a smile. That wasn't something he was used to seeing on her face. Leah always wore a scowl or a frown. He was fascinated by how her smile lit up her whole face.
"I like camping," he said. He moved so he could hold out his arm. She scooted over and laid her head on his shoulder as he curled that arm around her. It felt even better than he hoped it would. He closed his eyes and said, "Thanks for staying."
She smiled against his shoulder and said, "Thanks for asking."
They slept for a couple of hours and Leah awoke to someone kissing her neck. She opened her eyes and tried to remember where she was. Then it came back to her. She turned into him and met his lips. He was so hungry for her again. His hands found her breasts and he tugged and pulled at them. He felt such an urgency to have her.
She could feel his arousal push against her stomach and she wanted to make him feel as good as he had made her feel. She surprised herself by pushing him onto his back and taking him into her mouth. She didn't have much experience with this, but she found she really liked it. She moved up and down and licked at the tip with her tongue. She heard him groan as she tried to take him all into her mouth.
He couldn't' believe it when she took him into her mouth! The feel of her tongue and the back of her throat as she took all of him. It was incredible. She released him and kissed her way up his body, her silky hair trailing along his stomach and chest, to kiss his lips. He could taste himself on her lips and it built up a frenzy inside him to have her. He sat up and turned her so that she was on her hands and knees. He positioned himself behind her and pushed into her wetness.
She cried out, "Yes, Paul!" as he started pumping himself in and out. He was so big and it filled her completely. He slammed into her over and over and saying, "Come on, baby, come on," until she shook with amazing force and he pulled out and came onto her ass. His legs shook and he sat down as she laid on her stomach. "You OK, baby?" he asked.
She laughed and said, "Oh yea. I'm good." She rolled over to look at him and again, she smiled. He smiled back and then he laughed. Something she had never heard before. Usually his laugh was bitter and mean, as he made fun of someone. But laughter was pure and . . . happy. He crawled over to lay behind her then he put his arm around her stomach to draw himself closer. "You don't mind a little spooning, do you?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she returned. And they slept again.
The next time they opened their eyes, the sun was coming up. Paul looked at Leah and gently kissed her on the lips. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment then Paul said, "I better go. I have to work this morning at the store."
She nodded. He sat up and ran his hand through his hair then he stood and stretched and yawned. She sat up and gathered her long hair into a messy bun and secured it with the band that she always carried on her wrist. He held out his hand to help her up and she took it. When they were both standing, facing each other, she said, "Paul, last night was . . . what it was. We took what we needed from each other. I'm not expecting anything else, OK?"
He felt relief . . . and sadness at her statement. He smiled and nodded. "Yea, me too." He pulled her close one last time and hugged her. He inhaled her scent and tried to memorize it so he could call it back tonight when he was all alone again. He let her go and she stepped back. "See ya later," he said.
"Sure." She turned and took a few steps and phased into her wolf body. He watched her disappear into the woods. Then he turned again to look out at the water. He was amazed at Leah. He never had any idea that she could be so hot and sexy and kind and caring. He never imagined when he stopped here last night, what would transpire. He found himself hoping that it might happen again . . . some other lonely night.