Title: Watch Me Bleed
Rating: M
Summary: Nick Duval has been Sebastian Smythe's imaginary friend for years. But when Sebastian attempts suicide, Nick struggles with the fact that while he loves his charge, there's no way for him to help Sebastian. Now stuck in a psych ward, Nick is the only one that can help him but there are other obstacles in their way now and Nick doesn't know how strong he can be. AU. Warnings inside.
Characters: Sebastian Smythe, Nick Duval, OCs – others TBA
Warnings: Frequent mention and discussion of self-harm, suicide and depression; self-harm; suicide attempts; depression and other mental health issues. Others TBA.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognisable characters in this fic. The title comes from the Scary Kids Scaring Kids song "Watch Me Bleed" which belongs to them and not me.
A/N: This is just something I threw together while watching A Mother's Nightmare. I don't know what's going to happen with it but if I continue it, I hope you'll join me for the ride.
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CHAPTER 1:
Sebastian Smythe sighed as he shuffled into his room, the door closing behind him with a soft click before falling face-first into bed. He cringed as tendrils of pain danced up and down his arms beneath his Dalton blazer before he felt the ghost of soft fingers running through his hair.
"How's the pain?"
Rolling over, Sebastian laid his head against his pillow but it felt like a warm lap. Looking up he could see the shimmering image of Nick Duval, his imaginary friend of five years. The image's mop of brown hair and identical school uniform was as familiar to Sebastian as his own face and his skin tingled as Nick's hand brushed hair away from his eyes.
"It's fine. Nothing I haven't felt before." Sebastian reached up, hoping as always that his hand would finally connect with skin but his fingers passed straight through Nick. When his image reformed, Sebastian sighed at the disappointed expression he was met with.
"You were so close to breaking your record, Bas."
Sebastian shrugged one shoulder. "Try again next time."
Nick went to say something but was interrupted by Sebastian's mother calling up the stairs.
"Sebastian, what kind of pizza do you want for dinner? Your dad's picking it up on his way home."
"Pepperoni, Mom," Sebastian shouted back.
A muffled "alright" echoed through the door before everything fell silent again except for the quiet drizzling rain tapping at his window. Sebastian sat up and shucked off his blazer before he pulled his sleeves up over the bandages.
"It's not as bad as it usually is," Sebastian said as he tried to rationalise what he had done. Unwinding the bandages, he couldn't stomach the itch that came to his damaged skin. He rubbed his fingers over the edges of the cuts and the mess of red and purple scars before he looked back to Nick.
"It was just one night. A one night stand with an addiction is normal."
Nick cracked a smile. "And what would you know about one night stands?"
"I've had my fair share, thank you," Sebastian laughed. His smile quickly faded and his gaze fell to the floor. Nick leaned over, draping his arms around Sebastian's neck and kissing his cheek.
"It'll be alright, Bas."
"I know." Sebastian sighed before he forced a smile. "I love you."
"I love you too."
Nick faded from his mind as Sebastian got changed and sat down to do his biology homework. After half an hour of agonising over a question about different kinds of neurons, his mother called him down to dinner and Nick watched him go. Glancing at the clock, Nick figured he would have a good hour alone before he would have to return to console Sebastian over something awful his parents had said. Closing his eyes, Nick took a deep breath before he felt his soul zooming through space before he walked through the door to The Meeting Place, a bar for imaginary friends to spend their downtime.
Approaching the bar, he smiled as he ordered a beer before sitting down beside an overweight man in a green dragon costume.
"Hey Bill," Nick said as he leaned his arms against the bar. "How's Sadie?"
"Aww, she's a darling thing. Wears me out with all her crazy games but I love her to bits. How's your boy? Sebastian, isn't it? He still havin' those troubles?"
Nick sighed and nodded. "Yeah, relapsed last night." The bartender brought him his beer, exchanging it for a silver coin that appeared in Nick's hand and shimmered as it was handed over. "Not really being there, not being able to physically stop him… It's hard, y'know?"
Bill nodded. "I know. Pullin' Sadie away from those bullies is always hard. It's not her fault she's small and that she has her glasses but she doesn't see that just yet." He raised his bottle. "But she's always got her dragon." A beeping sound came from Bill's watch, startling him as he sipped from his beer. "Whoops, nightmare. I'd better get back. Take care, Nicky."
"Shall do, Bill." Nick watched over his shoulder as Bill and his dragon costume disappeared through the door before he glanced up at the collection of clocks on the wall. Finding the Eastern Standard Time clock, he sighed as he realised he had five minutes before Sebastian would return to his room. He downed the rest of his beer and tossed a tip into the bartender's jar before he zapped back to Sebastian's room, just in time to watch him rush in and slam the door. He was shocked to alertness and took in the tears streaming down Sebastian's face and the way he tugged at his sleeves.
"Bas, what's wrong? What happened?"
"You're never there! You're never there when they do that! Why do you always leave just when I need you?!"
Nick watched in horror as Sebastian paced back and forth, gripping his wrist and squeezing the bandaged cuts. He grabbed a pillow off his bed before crouching down and screaming into it. He threw it across the room, toppling over a pile of CDs before he yanked off his sweater and ripped the bandages from around his wrist. Before Nick could shout for him to stop, Sebastian was raking his fingernails back and forth over the cuts. Drops of blood swelled up from the barely-healed wounds before Sebastian sat on the floor with one leg stretched out in front of him.
Kneeling down in front of Sebastian, Nick placed a hand on his knee as he looked into the boy's green eyes.
"Bas? What happened, sweetie?"
"They want me to go back! I can't! I won't!"
"Go back where?"
"To that goddamn shrink! I won't go back! I won't ever go back!" Sebastian shook his head as he crawled over to his nightstand and pulled open one of the drawers. From within it he plucked a pocket knife that he flicked open and drew across his wrist. Nick felt tears spring to his eyes as he watched Sebastian destroy himself. He tried to tell Sebastian to stop when the cuts grew deeper but he could feel himself being ignored – he knew his voice wasn't reaching his charge.
Looking around the room, Nick searched for a way to alert Sebastian's parents to what was happening. He couldn't let Sebastian cut any deeper. The fear of going back to therapy had been clouding his mind for months now and Nick could feel Sebastian's desperation mount as he shifted the blade to drag it vertically down his arm.
"Sebastian, no! Hold on! Don't!" Nick shouted. He tried to grab Sebastian's arm but a barrier had formed between them, Nick realising he was being blocked out of Sebastian's head. Snapping his head around, Nick summoned all the might he could muster and pulled the door open just before Sebastian yelped in agony. Turning back, Nick felt blood splatter his face before Sebastian clamped a hand over the wound but blood still leaked out between his fingers. His green eyes were wide with fear as he looked to Nick.
"Help me," he whispered as the colour drained from his face.
"I tried," Nick murmured before he watched, helpless, as Sebastian slumped against his bed and lost his grip over his arm. Annabelle and Marcus Smythe rushed into the room, her screams piercing Nick's ears as he watched Marcus fall to his knees beside his son. Tourniquets were improvised and ambulances were called but Nick knew he couldn't leave any time soon. Sebastian was going to need him.
If he made it through the night.
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A/N: Yeah, I'm not sure where this came from or where it's going. I've wanted to write about imaginary friends for a long time though so that's nice. I'll leave this as a WIP until I decide what to do. I'm also considering doing another Second Chance anniversary fic in September so if you have any prompts for that, let me know. And if you don't know what Second Chance is, go check it out in my fic list :) Thanks for reading – Em xo
