This is a one shot for my friend DandyintheAspic (dreamsofvenice) inspired by some screencaps she took of Vega and Kaidan playing poker and some suspicious cigars. She was not happy about them!

Hope you enjoy.

Shepard threw the data pad onto the bed. She'd had it. Completely over it. Dying of absolute monotony. Spending 4 hours dictating the previous mission's step by step movements and details was more than she could take. Having to recite the exact words of how Legion fell to his knees and his lights faded... It was too much. She needed a strong drink, a back massage from Kaidan, and then a quick fuck to top it all off. Yes. Perfect.

She headed down to the port observation, looking forward to a straight Russian vodka with exactly three ice cubes, her favourite. The doors slid open and she heard a 'Shit!' before a hurried movement by the poker table. Vega and Kaidan were sitting there, opposite sides of the table, playing a round with a glass of whiskey each. And some cigars.

Kaidan looked sheepish and Vega was grinning. Shepard slowly walked over, eyes focused upon Kaidans worried face.

"Is that what I think it is?" She said.

"I uh, it was just..." Kaidan stumbled over his words.

"Just what?"

"It's not what –"

"So it's not a cigar that you're trying to hide with your hand?"

"Busted, hombre!" Vega laughed, leaning back with his hands behind his head. Shepard shot him a quick look of 'don't fuck with me' and he quickly sat up straight; grin wiped from his face.

Shepard moved her attention back to Kaidan who was also staring daggers at Vega. "I believe there has been more than a century and a half of education as to why those things should not be consumed."

Kaidan sat a little taller. "It's just an old time poker tradition, Shepard. You know, a whiskey, a cigar, a friendly exchange of credits..."

"That's moronic." Shepard said dully.

"Ouch Lola, cut the man some slack. We're just having some wind down time, c'mon." Vega interjected.

"Shepard, it's not a big deal really –" He stopped as soon as he saw Shepards face. He looked at the cigar one last time before slowly pushing it towards Vega. Vega went to reach for it, grin back on his face when Shepard shot him a look too. His hand slowly moved back towards his lap. The lone cigar sat there in the middle of the table, ribbons of smoke drifting towards the ceiling.

"Hombre, you are whipped." Vega scoffed.

"You can talk." Kaidan shot back. Shepard just raised an eyebrow and held her hand out towards Kaidans whiskey. He unconsciously passed it to her and she drank the rest of it.

Vega barked with laughter. "Perfect! That was perfect!"

"Shit." Kaidan rubbed his temples while Shepard smirked.

He placed his cards onto the table and pushed his credits over to Vega.

"I fold, I'm done for the night." He sighed, looking one last time at the cigar before shuffling out of the booth.

"Good game hombre. And thanks Lola! Now I can afford that tatt I've been meaning to get. You two have fun now." He smirked and collected his credits. Shepard looked back over her shoulder at Vega as her and Kaidan left the room and gave him a quick wink, which set him off into laughter again.

The door from the elevator closed behind Kaidan and Shepard as they entered her cabin.

"That was unfair you know."

"I know. I'm sorry." Shepard mockingly pushed her bottom lip out.

Kaidan rolled his eyes. "Really genuine, thanks."

Shepard grabbed his arm lightly and pulled him to her.

"When did you start smoking?" She said quietly.

He paused, looking slightly ashamed. "Not long after you... After Normandy..."

She placed her finger over his lips and he raised his eyes to hers. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

Kaidan smiled, raising her chin upwards and kissed her softly. "Don't be. I'll quit tomorrow."

"I'm proud of you." Shepard smiled, before bringing him into a long kiss, her hands wrapped around his neck tightly. Suddenly she pulled away.

Kaidan looked at her. "Tastes bad?"

"Tastes awful."

"I'll be right back." He shuffled off to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Shepard began stripping off her uniform before lying on the bed. The data pad dug into her leg and she lifted it to read it.

"... Legion then recited a Quarian saying "Keelah Se'Lai" before -"

No.

She threw it onto the couch and looked away just as Kaidan came sauntering down the steps. His shirt was removed and a grin plastered across his face as he looked over Shepards body.

"Okay, I forgive you for the earlier thing." He said, crawling onto the bed and hovering over Shepard.

"Thanks, babe." She turned onto her front, and passed a bottle of oil from the bedside table to him. "Massage my back first, okay?"

"Vega was right, I am so whipped."

"Yeah, but you're my whipped boyfriend and I love you."

"I love you too Sam. Lay still."