A/N: So this pooped into my head after many things happened. Might be a couple of chapters, maybe three. Warnings: Angst.
Synopsis: "You always have expectations for me," Law says, "everyone has expectations of somebody." Luffy lowers his eyes, "Law, I don't understand what you're saying." The older gives him a twisted, rueful smile. "Nobody does."
1
– Expectations –
"I don't know what you see in me."
"Eh?"
Luffy looks up at him, mouth slightly tugged downwards. "What're you talking about? I see plenty of things in you."
Law sighs and doesn't look at him, staring at the ceiling, thumb absentmindedly stroking Luffy's cold arm. The two cuddled under warm covers, protected from the snow outside, slowly spiraling from the dark sky above. The fireplace before them cackled with flickering, wavering flames, casting heat and shadows upon their faces. The small, wooden cottage they shared was dim, lit only that seemingly living light, and Luffy.
Luffy shifts in Law's arms, so he lays on his stomach next to him, and leans over his face. Law's eyes refused to look at him, though his boyfriend was a few mere inches above him, and Luffy sighs disappointedly. "Law, talk to me," he says softly, as if testing the waters between them, sensing, knowing, that something has changed in his lover. But Law shakes his head, and shifts his gaze to the side of the wall. Luffy pouts, lowering those eyelashes of his, and the action catches Law's eyes just barely, and it's no more than a few seconds that Law speaks again, because he was a sucker for that pout of his. He'd usually kiss the expression right off Luffy's young face, that gorgeous, beautiful face.
Law didn't even feel worthy to look at Luffy right now.
"You always have expectations for me," Law begins, "everyone has expectations of somebody." Luffy lowers his eyes, "Law, I don't understand what you're saying." The older gives him a twisted, rueful smile. "Nobody does."
The man turns away from the younger, shrugging deeper into the large, fluffy blanket they shared. Luffy reaches out and touches Law's shoulder. "Open up to me, please. What happened?"
"Go to sleep, Luffy," Law whispers.
He feels the teen behind him still for a moment, and Law knows he's regarding him, wavering between being compliant and disobeying him. But Luffy decides to give him space, zipping his lips, and slipping back under the covers. With timid arms, he feels around Law's waist with his fingers, until they reach his front, tracing the tense muscles that resided there, and slowly messaged them until they loosened. Luffy continued this for what seemed like hours, and Law unraveled under his innocent touch. It wasn't until the early morning that the two dozed off, Luffy's arm thrown over Law's middle, legs entangled, his cheek flush against Law's shaking, rising and falling back.
—
Law gets out of bed, and it's expected. He smiles, because it's expected, and he's happy, because it's expected. Anything else out of the ordinary would be considered 'out-of-character' for him, and people would crowd around him, asking him what's wrong. Like, no, he's fine, he's just usually this way, or he's just having one of those days. But it's not what people expect, and if it's out of the ordinary for them, then it should be out of the ordinary for you, too. Law grew up with this kind of mentality, and it's stuck with him, he can't shake it off, but he can minimize it. He's minimized it with Luffy, ever since the day they first met, up until now, years upon years later. They've grown so close, so intimate, and the trust they had in each other was overflowing, abundant to a point where others would deem the pairing ridiculous. But that was just the two of them, and their own little world.
Luffy had laid out himself out for Law, everything, and Law had done likewise.
Or, rather, that was what Luffy expected.
Everyone has a part of them they would rather keep hidden. No matter how bright the smile, there's always shadows. Its just finding that person to find and acknowledge those shadows, to accept them, and to lessen the depth or eradicate them, that takes time and effort and pain and love. Law went through all of that with Luffy, and more, so much more. They had exposed themselves, making themselves bare before each other, physically, mentally, emotionally, physiologically. So many memories together, both good and bad, but they lived through it, being next to each other. Law knew Luffy like the back of his hand, his hidden depths that the teen only showed to him. And, no, that's not saying Luffy didn't know Law. If he said that he'd be lying, and the both of them would know it. There were depths he didn't know, he had within the recesses of his heart. It was hard to keep things hidden. What Law really wanted to say was that he wasn't acceptable.
If someone didn't get it, then Luffy couldn't, either.
With toes as light as feathers, he tiptoes across the cold, wooden floor, bristling quietly at the needles which pricked his skin. He walks towards the fireplace, and sits in front of it, staring at the smoldering flame, dying down from its once majestic dance. Shifting and swirling, flickering and crackling, bending and rolling, brightening and dimming, and even taking a bow after its flamboyant display. But that was then, and this was now, and the flames aren't even there anymore, the place just barely illuminated with red and orange, a low hum against the burnt wood.
Law narrows his eyes. Much like him.
"Hey," says Luffy from behind him, wrapping his arms around Law's neck and kissing his cheek. With love glowing in his eyes, he murmurs, "G' Mornin."
Law hums in response, not turning to look at him. Luffy pulls back and pauses, and Law noticing that he's doing a lot of that. Something's changing between them. And it's mostly Law's fault.
"Wanna go out? And...do something?" Luffy asks cheerfully, but it's off the norm, a weird tone in his voice, but Law finds the word 'yes' slip from his lips regardless, and Luffy's there smiling.
A yes was expected.
But Law wanted to agree, so the thought was swiftly dismissed.
"Yeah," Law says a bit louder, realizing his previous word was half muttered. "That would be great. Shower, first, and, uh. Food."
Luffy gives his neck a half hug, half suffocating squeeze, and Law leans into it, sighing. Then he leaves, whispering he'll go first, he'll be right back, and disappears into the shower. Law's left alone, eyes following Luffy until the door closes between him and the teen, and the simple action makes Law realizes what Luffy might do in the future.
Close the door on Law.
And Law hadn't been expecting that.
The mere thought of Luffy leaving him sent him reeling, and he's off the floor, barging through the door, and ignoring Luffy's squeal as he rips the shower curtain open, and stares with wide eyes at the shivering teen amidst the steam. After a heart stopping moment of staring, Luffy releases the breath he didn't even know he was holding. "Um. Did you need something?"
Law's breath comes in ragged, short bursts, and his eyes runs over Luffy's body, dark eyes flying over his muscled body, a body he knew and explored every inch of. It was familiar, Luffy before him like this, and it was normal to Law, and, to an extend, it was expected.
It wasn't for Luffy.
"Law?" Luffy says tentatively, curled in on himself as best he could while standing, and it's a cute little "eep" he gives when Law starts undressing, too. Law needed to refresh his mind, maybe it's to clear away the doubt. It's hot and steamy and warm and wet, yet Luffy's there shivering against his front. "You're shivering," Law whispers in his ear, barely heard over the water's rush.
Luffy looks over his shoulder, up at Law's face, studying his expression. It's a wall, a brick wall, and he can't penetrate like he used to. It's changed. It's not expected.
His next actions are justified.
"What's wrong?" Luffy breathes, turning, holding Law around the waist, his head in his inked, muscled, tense chest. "Your face."
Law blinks at him, face flushed from the water, from the steam. "What about my face?"
"It's closed," Luffy frowns, reaching up and cupping his chin, rough stubble greeting his soft palm. Law leans into the touch, looking at Luffy with lidded eyes, and the younger sucks in a shaky breath.
"Let's go," Law says softly.
"Yeah."
The shower is forgotten.
—
Donned in a red coat, skinny jeans, and a wide smile, Luffy bites happily into a bagel, winking at Law, who cringes at the food. "Luffy, why the hell?" he hisses, glaring daggers at the offending food. "Literally what the fuck." Law's in a black and yellow hoodie, and skinny jeans that does wonders for his ass.
The teen swallows, laughing, and Law arches an eyebrow. The two sit within a nearby restaurant, sharing a table near a window, watching the snow fly by outside. It's a comfy little place, run by a family of three, a foster mother, an older daughter, and a younger daughter. The older, whose age lies in the early twenties at the most, serves alongside her younger sister, who couldn't be a day over twenty. They serve as waitresses, while their mother takes care of the finances and the food making. A perfect little chain of command, organized in an orderly fashion, where business gets taken care of. There aren't many customers besides themselves, and quiet elevator music plays throughout the room. It's not big, with long windows on each side, each accompanied with a circular table and a vintage looking bench, and a wide counter for ordering. Law loves its seclusiveness, and Luffy loves its food, so it's a win-win.
Purple hair peeks out from under the red bandana the eldest wore, her blue eyes reflecting interest as she takes in the couple. "Aren't you guys pretty?" she comments, taking in Luffy's dirtied face and Law's annoyance. "Anything else you need?"
Law narrows his dark eyes at Luffy, who's own twinkle mischievously. "Can we have twenty more?" he asks politely, avoiding Law's dangerous glower.
Nojiko suppresses a chuckle and pulls out a notepad and pen, jotting down the excessive order before smiling sweetly. "Comin' right up," she says, walking away with a whistled tune on her lips.
Nami joins her on her route to the kitchen, tapping her shoulder with small hands. "Don't you think they're cute? Look at how they fight over food."
The older smiles at her sister. "I'm sure Bell-mére would love meeting them, but she's so busy in the kitchen."
The orange haired sighs, but it's a lively type. Her sibling places the slip of paper on the counter to the kitchen, where their mother grunts in recognition. "They're an odd pair, though," she notes, straightening her red bandana, and handles the hot plate of food gingerly. The mother was a feisty, hustler of a woman, one who gets her work done quickly and efficiently, and who knows what the daughters would do with her gone.
"Right?" Nami giggles.
The purple haired returns to their table, placing the food in the table with a flourish and a little bow. Luffy's digging in before she even sets it down. Her eyes sparkle at the enthusiasm, smile widening. "Glad you like."
Law sighs, scratching his hair irritably. "How much is the tab?"
"I'll bring it to you."
As she leaves, Law turns back to his boyfriend. "You're going to pay."
"No I'm not," Luffy says with a devilish smile, and pouts at Law's hardened glare. Then Law relents. That pout. He finds himself leaning forwards, but he catches himself, and stops. Luffy eyes him, something different lies in those eyes. Was that...not what he expected?
Law was having an okay time until.
"Hey, we should start on our way," Law says instead. Coughing lightly into his arm, he nods towards the door, and Luffy puts down the bagel he was eating, and the the hell, because he never not finishes food. Any food. He always eats, even if he's not hungry, so now there's no excuse.
He stands, leaving a few bills on the table, and Luffy does the same, minus the money. With a grunt to the orange haired one as he stalks past, the two make their exit, leaving the sisters staring after them, curiosity on their faces.
—
The ring is cold, extremely cold at that, yet there's laughter in the air and in Luffy's smile. The local park had an annual skating event, called The Summit's Fall, and it's large with official looking people and professional skates, because the prize was, what, a thousand or so dollars? Law didn't know, Law didn't care, because the only thing that was there was Luffy, and no one else mattered. At least a hundred or so skaters circled around the round ring, some talking their time, some gliding along effortlessly, some in groups of three or four, and some skating alone.
Cold winds bite into Law's skin as he flies over the frozen ground, thick flakes flying into his pants, lowering the temperature of his lower body, and Luffy follows slowly on wobbly legs. Law's always been the better skater, and Luffy's always been jealous, but hey, at least he's getting somewhere this time. The last time they went skating, during the regular season, Luffy ended up flat on his ass more times than Law could count. He wasn't supposed to make fun of him, but the look of surprise on his face just as he realized gravity wasn't on his side— Law couldn't not laugh.
"What's with that look on your face?" Luffy asks, accusation laced into his voice. Law coughs lightly and glances away. "Nothing, nothing I swear." It's not exactly a lie.
Luffy puffs out his reddened cheeks, "Liar," he mutters, a cold puff of air escaping his lips. Law watches amusedly as Luffy concentrates on the ice below, arms out and steadying, feet shoulder width apart, and moving an slow inch at a time. The older glides around his lover elegantly, smoothly enough to make Luffy glare weakly at him. A low chuckle escapes him as he gently grabs Luffy hips, guiding him forwards. Luffy stills at the contact, looking backwards, face heated. "What are you doing?"
Chilly air pokes their faces thoughtfully as they glide past, a slow, smooth caress, then a sharp slap. Like reality. "Helping you," Law replies simply, smiling at how wide the younger's eyes grew. "Hey, hey, relax."
"I'm gonna crash. I'm gonna fall and die," Luffy says, his demise dawning on his face in a wrinkle of the nose and the owlish blink of the eyes.
Law rolls his dark orbs. "Like I'm gonna let that happen to you."
They reached the summit.
Luffy throws one of his infamous pouts over his shoulder, and fuck if the world don't stop for Law right then. He loved them, almost as much as he loved his smile or the way he walks when he's tired, and it warms the depths of his being for some reason, and yeah. It's pretty weird that the both of them didn't expect what happened next. It's an obvious, obvious situation, the temperature ideal, the setting ideal, the timing ideal. These moments with Luffy was what made Law realize that he's come a long way. A long way from the time when he didn't expect anything much out of life, and life didn't expect much out of him, either.
So, naturally, when Law first met Luffy, he didn't expect much out of him. Law then, of course, expected the feeling to be mutual.
What he hadn't expected was a bubbly, laughing, energetic teen, who wouldn't stop stuffing his face on a twenty-four hour basis. Luffy helped him with his expectations mentally, and Law helped him out of his obscene round-the-clock hunger. Somewhat. They relied on each other for small things, big things, and they just fit. It was a perfect harmony between the two, a weird, unique kind, and Law loved it.
But he was falling back into that mentality again, and he hated it. He hate, hate, hated it.
Luffy saved him, at least from death, and now he was dying all over again. Noting changed. What changed?
"Law, you have that face on again."
"Sorry."
Luffy leaves his warm, safe arms, skating ahead a few breathless moments, and pride swells in Law. Luffy looks much more in control, much more stable and focused, and a smile stretches his lips. Yet when the younger faces him, Law's met with his eyes. Dark, mysterious, worried. "Law, tell me please, what happening. I want to help, and you're not telling me anything."
Law smiles, a queer, forced expression, and Luffy's distracted, very much so, because holy shit that was disturbing. And then. He falls.
It begins in slow motion, with a skate twisting awkwardly from beneath him, and a second after Luffy looks down in shock he's falling, and at such a sharp angle. A strangled sound escapes his throat, and onlookers looking upon the scene on shock, some holding their children near, some grimacing slightly, a cringe for Luffy, some staring openly, mouth agape. But of course, no one comes to help. Law hadn't expected much out of them since the moment he stepped into the ring.
But he expected much of himself, for Luffy's sake.
So when he reached out to help the younger, for only for the the tips of their fingers to touch was inexcusable. For Luffy to continue his descent was unreasonable. For the sickening thud that followed, for the scream of the crowd and the muffled scream of Law, and for the millions of billions of self-degrading thoughts rolling through his head to occur were all unacceptable. For the red blood to slowly trickle from under his lover, and a flash of the good times, of Nojiko's bandana, to flit through his head was especially horrid, considering the pain written across Luffy's contorted face. This shouldn't have happened. It wouldn't have happened if Law wasn't being such a selfish, worrisome little shit, if he had just opened up to Luffy. It wouldn't have. Couldn't have.
Well, that's what you'd expect, right?
It's weird how events like this seem to be justified if someone had just changed a course of action, but not one tends to think about fate. Life's all about expectations, but not everyone doesn't fucking know that, and they're given the false implication that they're free to do whatever they like. Law thought that. He's thought that, because Luffy had changed him. The blood on the ground reverted him so fast, that if he wasn't so terrified, so broken, so unstable, that he'd laugh. He'd laugh until his sides hurt, because he was trapped in this hellhole of a box called life, slapping him senseless. And if he didn't know better, he'd think that Luffy was doing the slapping. He wasn't sure if that was good or not.
Law barely recognized the paramedic that was suddenly there, asking gently his name, his relation to the patient, and, "Sir, are you alright?" echoed around him more times than he'd like or care to hear.
The Summit's Fall Festival was over, over before it even began, and Law hadn't even took notice of it until then. It fit, the whole thing, and the older stares into space with the biggest smile of regret. They've fallen long, long ago, he just didn't know it. Here was their summit. Here was their fall. Law wishes he had realized sooner, realized this fact with others, without hurting others. He had found love, and he had fucked it up, all because of his stupidity.
"I'm his boyfriend," he's able to make out with a constricted throat, and the officials from above him nod to each other, and after some witness reports, and other confirmations, conclude he's telling the truth. Law's dark eyes squint at the bright lights and loud sounds, and sirens blasting in his ears. And fuck all of this. He needs a break, he needs Luffy by his side, curled up to him under bed, muttering nonsensical words into his chest, sleepliy kissing the tanned, inked skin, and Law would bury his fingers into his soft hair, "I love you"s in every kiss he'd plant on the younger's hair. They would lay under warm covers, with the snow outside spiraling down from the dark sky above, like Law's eyes, crying tears of cold, icy snow. He'd let his guard down too much. He was getting used to not having expectations from everyone. Luffy had taken that away from him, and he had been grateful, he swears. He is grateful. He hated thinking like that, but it wasn't something you could exactly shake off by sheer willpower.
Law's ushered into a helicopter, and it's noise, noise, noise. The whirring of the blades above leave Law with jitters, and guilt renders his ability to speak useless. He's not comprehending the words he's told, something about Luffy's current state, and as much as he wants to hear, he can't. All he's heard was static- white, deafening static, and it's messing with his brain. He's sure seeing Luffy would help, he's sure, so much so that he asks where Luffy is, and the man stares at him. "I just told you," he says, and Law tries his damned best to hear.
"He's currently in the ICU, prepping for emergency surgery," the man explains slowly, hopefully clearly enough for Law to get it, to understand. Law swallows deep, and his hands get clammy. A ball of dread settles in his stomach, but he asks yet another question. "Why is he there?" His voice comes out timid, almost a whisper beside the noise around them. He hears Law, though, and answers. "He has a Proximal Humerus Fracture. Basically, his shoulder," he says, gesturing to his upper arm. "Has a very large fracture. It's not a dire situation, but we have to be extremely careful."
Law nods his understanding, hoping his distress, guilt, and worry doesn't show on his face. If it does, the official beside him doesn't say a word, but simply pats him on the knee. He didn't know how the hell that was supposed to help, and he didn't know whether or not the guy expected him to, what, push through the pain and stay strong, or some other heroic shit. It doesn't help. It's a useless motion.
"Okay," he whispers.
It's a long flight, or that's what Law thinks, and seemingly days later, they finally touch sweet, dry ground. Or, as ground as they can get, seeing that it's atop a roof of a building ten stories high. But, that's the least of Law's problems, because he's rushed around as if extra luggage out of the helicopter. The building is white, with a pungent smell of disinfectant in the air, and nurses and doctors and surgeons and staff bustle about to and fro, and the fact that they all seem to stare at him in sympathy lodges regret in his throat.
Everyone expects for someone to emerge whole when they're admitted to a hospital.
Well, whole as in healthy. Healthy as in safe. Safe as in living. Living as in not dead, dying or sick. Between these, one has expected at least one, and it's obvious because that's what hospitals proclaim to do. Help you. So why was one supposed to expect otherwise? It didn't make logical sense, and neither did Law's thinking. He knew Luffy was going to be okay, he knew, this was Luffy, nothing bad could happen to him. He didn't expect it, because all of his expectations went to hell, so he knew. He firmly believed.
He's almost hilariously wrong when the doctor opens the door for him. Since when did good things ever happen to bad people?
I hope you liked the first chapter! Maybe? Somewhat? No? Hmu with reviews, favs, follows, etc., etc. See you in the next chapter!