A/N: MY FIRST HOMESTUCK FANFIC! WHOOO! I HAVE BECOME OBSSESSED WITH THIS PAIRING! DAVE AND JOHN FOR THE WIN!~ Anyway, I have been reading fanfics of these two and I have decided to write my own! :DDDD Also, the technically, this story is called "Apple juice and Con Air" but then I was like, "Wait. I think 'The diary of a teenage Egderp' would suit this better because of the dia-JOURNAL entries." So here it is. MY FIRST HOMESTUCK FANFIC IS A GO!

Your name is John Egbert. You are sixteen and live with your father. You had a mother at some point but she is no longer around. You go to Sburb high school and get good grades like the nerd you are. You have black hair, bulky nerd glasses, buck teeth, and an overall dorky look. You love movies with nicholas cage, especially Con Air, and you abhor cake (or rather any betty crocker product in general).

When you were in elementary school, you came across three friends who have stuck by you through all these years. One of which, you realized you have grown quite fond of. You do not know when these feelings began to develop. To be honest, you are not aware you have these feelinbgs in the first place! So whether you know it or not, you have feelings for this special person.

Your name is John Egbert.

And you are in love with your best bro, Dave Strider.

Journal entry 1

Dear Journal,

I would like to first clarify with you that you are indeed a journal. NOT A DIARY. I refer to you as a journal because you are one. If you were a diary, then I would be a girl. But I am not. I am clearly male, therefore, you are a journal.

Anyway, I hung out with Dave today at his apartment. He was working with his turn tables, throwing sick beats like the cool kid he is. When he finished creating yet another amazing track I asked him if I could see his eyes. I dont know why but he almost looked alittle...panicked. Even with his shades on. In the end, I didn't get to see his eyes. He even said that it was gay for me to ask! I know he wants to be 'ironic' by wearing those shades but isn't he going abit too far? He never takes them off! I think he even wears them to sleep! No, I'm exaggerating. I've seen him take them off before but he's never shown his eyes to me. He always closes his eyes before i can see. I've known him since third grade and not once have I seen his eyes. At least he wears those aviators I gave him. Those anime pointy shades he had before were ridiculous.

I'm getting side-tracked. Sorry. Point is, when he refused to let me see his eyes, I suddenly felt something in the pit of my stomach. I thought it was that cake that dad made me eat earlier (DAMN YOU BETTY CROCKER) but it felt different from my usual stomach ache. It felt...fuzzy. I don't know how to describe it. Maybe I'll ask Rose later about the feeling but I make it a rule to always consult my dia-JOURNAL...about my problems. I'll write again soon.

-John

You are Dave strider. You are sixteen (almost seventeen) and you live with your big bro in an apartment. You go to Sburb high school and you are the most ironically cool kid in school. You have blond hair, ironically cool shades, and an overall cool look. You like apple juice and you hate those god-forsaken puppets your big bro keeps in the apartment.

When you were young, you met these three kids that you deemed worthy enough to be your friends. One of them, is the dorkiest person you know. And yet, you still fell in love with said person through the years. However, you have no idea that what you are feeling is the uncool, totally unironic feeling known as love.

Your name is Dave Strider.

And you are hopelessly, yet unknowingly, in love with John Egbert.

Did you really think that a cool kid like Dave kept a journal?

Of course not.

A Strider would never do something so uncool and not-ironic .

Instead, we will take a little trip to the past, where the incident from before took place.

~TO THE PAST (Dave's pov)~

There I was, in my room, throwing the sickest beats anyone's ever heard. My best bro, John, by my side nodding his head at these sweet tracks im playing. Everything was the way it should be. And then he said it.

"Dave...Can I see your eyes?"

My whole flow is thrown out of whack and my beats become nothing more than a haphazard melody. I stop the track (since it already sounds like a dying animal) and look at my bro. He wanted to see my eyes? No. I'm imagining it.

"Sorry bro I don't think I heard you right. What are you spouting?"

"I uh...I asked if I could see your eyes..."

My eyes widened behind my dark shades. Was I hearing this correctly? Egbert wanted to see my eyes? My face redened abit, making me turn my head. I couldn't let Egbert see me with my face all red. Thats just so unironic.

Speaking of unironic, Egbert decided he should lean in close and try and get a glimpse of my god-like face. I would normally oblige with his wish if I wasn't red as a tomato. I quickly avoid any eye contact until the heat in my face dimmed down.

"Dave?..."

He said, in that cute, dorky voice of his. Wait, what am I thinking? Nevermind, disregard that thought. Just another joke that my mind ironically creates without my consent. I realized he was still expecting an answer and shook my head. My blush finally went away enough for me to turn towards him.

"No can do Egderp. I can't be encouraging your gay tendencies bro."

That's good Dave. Play it cool. Don't let him catch you off-guard. And there he goes, having a hissy fit about how he's not gay. Calling him gay is the only way to drag his attention away from a subject. So now I just have to listen to him rant about how he's not gay and how he'll never be gay. But somehow...listening to him say he's not gay...makes me sad...

But that would mean I'm in love with Egbert. And that can't happen. A Strider must be ironic. A Strider must be cool. And above all, a Strider must never, AND I MEAN NEVER...

Fall in love.