I recently reread Explosive Eighteen and once again found myself very disappointed by the development of what could have been a wonderful turning point for the Babe fans. So here's my version. It'll probably be four or so chapters.
Disclaimer: All characters of the Stephanie Plum belong exclusively to Janet Evanovich, and warnings ahead for smut and fluff.
BABE story, because I couldn't possibly write anything else
You have got to be shitting me. I fly all the way to Hawaii, hoping to escape from work and drama, and yet, because I'm Stephanie Plum, I manage to walk into something I shouldn't.
Not even one hour, let alone one day into my vacation that Morelli was NOT on, I was strolling through the airport terminal when who should I run into but Tootie Ruguzzi, aka the Mrs. to Simon Ruguzzi or The Rug, the man who Vinnie had written off after he went FTA following his being implicated in multiple counts of murder. I followed her and found her husband lounging poolside, living the good life while the rest of us schlepped to work everyday.
In any other circumstance, I'd be thrilled to just inadvertently bump into a skip, but this was going to prove slightly problematic for two reasons; 1- he was staying in a couples only resort retreat type place that despite flashing a more than adequate amount of cleavage and batting my lashes, I could not get into. 2- even if I could get in, I didn't have the authorization to apprehend him in Hawaii, which meant I had to call in someone who did.
Bond enforcement in Trenton is a relatively small business so when I thought about who I could possibly call, there was only one option that sprang to mind- my friend, mentor and sometimes lover Ranger Manoso. The thought of which filled me with ambivalence. On one hand, he would definitely want to help and it would be impossible to fail with him at my side. On the other hand, there's always temptation when mocha skin and Bulgari and Ranger are involved. Not to mention I would probably be indebted to him and Ranger's methods of repayment tend to involve very little clothing and lots of heavy breathing.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, I couldn't see many other options at the moment. I bit the bullet and picked up the phone to call him.
He answered on the first ring, "Babe."
"Ranger."
"Miss me already, Babe?"
More than you know, I thought. But aloud I said, "Actually, I could use some help."
"Help? Isn't Morelli there to tend to your needs?", he quipped. Even I caught the slightly uneven tone in his voice.
"Not that kind of help Ranger. And besides, Morelli and I are broken up. That's why I'm here alone."
He went even more silent than usual, and I took that as my cue to fill in the blanks about The Rug scenario.
When I was done, I could pretty much hear him smiling over the phone. "I'll be there, Babe. Just remember, when I'm playing the doting husband to you, I don't do anything half-way. Hasta pronto, mi esposa." And click went the phone.
Because I'm clearly glutton for punishment, I googled his departing line: See you soon, my wife.
Oh my god, Stephanie Plum what have you done?