She loves Dove. She does. She's one of her best friends. She's really happy for her relationship with Ryan. But more so, she's jealous. She's jealous of how easily and freely she can love and be in a relationship. For the longest time, she convinced everyone – even herself – that she wasn't ready for a relationship. But perhaps she was. Is. She's not sure.
She's scared.
She's scared because any possible relationship she may be in would immediately become public and kept up with. She's also scared because the only person she wants to be with is him, and he's always busy, always away with the band. Always flirting. And she's afraid that if she loses that flirting, there will only be awkward glances, empty gestures. Because what if a relationship ruins everything? She tells young teens that ask for advice to avoid flirts, avoid guys that have flirting as a go-to game plan. They're dangerous and you'll only end up heartbroken. But there she was, mercilessly falling for her costar of two years.
Some people tweet her and tell her that she and Ross remind them of Anna and Kristoff from Frozen. She wistfully scrolls past them. Mainly because it hurts too much to envision. Partly because they remind her of them too, and she just wants to sit in her living room with her stuffed Olaf and watch it a thousand times over. Sometimes she sees Dove's pictures and smiles because she and Ryan have the cutest relationship ever, and sometimes she frowns because she knows her and Ross would be just as cute.
She's on set right now, being shamelessly flirted with by him, simultaneously loving and hating it.
"You know," he says slyly, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "I'm eighteen now... Legal." He sucks his teeth and winks at her.
Her cheeks flush feverishly and she steps away quickly, nervously chuckling. "Yeah, uh, I know, Ross. I wished you a happy birthday on Twitter," she rambles. Then stops and glares at him. "Thanks for wishing me a happy birthday by the way."
"I did," he retorts defensively. "I seem to remember driving to your house with a (poorly) wrapped gift and a helium balloon attached. I remember singing to you, too."
"You gave me a Walk The Moon Band t-shirt," she remembers fondly.
"Yes," he says. "And you loved it." He nudges her arm playfully.
She smiles. "I did. I do, rather," she corrects. "I meant on Twitter though. It's a big deal to people if we bother to talk online anymore. If only they knew how much we talk in real life," she laughs.
"You mean like all the time?" he suggests. She nods. "I don't think it really matters how often they see us talk, to be honest. People already think the worst of me and the world of you, so me sending you a "hey" followed by the sunglasses emoji on Twitter wouldn't help our cause," he chuckles.
She hops up on the Sonic Boom counter and turns his body to face hers. "Ross, it doesn't matter what they think-"
"-yes it does," he interrupts. "It matters entirely. It's the fans that keep the show going and-"
This time it was her turn to interrupt him. "It doesn't matter. Look, the show is whatever. What matters is what people you're close to think of you. What your family thinks, what we think, what the Teen Beach Movie crew thinks. As long as they think highly of you, you'll be okay. Your family loves you, obviously. And I can tell you with a hundred and ten percent certainty that we love you. That I love you. The fans can't change that. Of course some people won't like you. If everyone liked everyone we wouldn't have to worry about war or poverty or protecting human rights."
He looks up at her and an emotion she can't place pools in his dark eyes and he beams. "Have I told you how much I love you?" he asks, leaning his forearms on her thighs.
"Not lately," she shrugs. "But I'll take it."
He grins and pulls her off the counter and embraces her in a tight hug. "Well I do."
"You do what?" she teases, pressing her luck.
"I love you," he answers simply.
And there it was. The three words she's wanted to hear for the longest time but the same three words she was afraid he'd say. She holds him tightly but she hopes he doesn't sense her hesitance.
Later that night, she's making plans with Dove to go see Frozen again, because with all the thinking she's been doing lately, a whole month without seeing it is far too long. She's excited because Dove is just as excited.
"Sure, let's go," Dove says on the other side. "It was such a cute movie."
"I know," Laura gushes, laying on her bed, secretly stalking the Raura tag on Tumblr. "I love Olaf and Sven."
"Sven is like, my spirit animal."
Laura laughs loudly. "Someone who gets me."
"Nice picture of you and Ross today by the way," Dove adds.
Laura stops scrolling and blushing from the edits. "What? What picture?"
"The one Calum posted," she explains. "It's on Twitter."
She opens her app frantically and searches her costar's user name and there, the first picture in his photo list, is of her and Ross hugging from earlier.
"Ross and Laura heart-to-hearts. A casual day." she reads the caption aloud.
"Yeah, that one," Dove confirms. "Do heart-to-hearts often?"
"No," Laura lies quickly.
But Dove sees right through it. "You're a terrible liar, Laura," she sighs. "But it's cute."
Laura is ringing in the new year with work. Such is her life. She's on set again today for the first day of filming, but she's at the beach set, lying in the artificial sun from the stage lights. She's covering her eyes from the brightness, wishing it were shady but yearning for some peace and quiet, and since it was the only vacant spot in the building right now, she had to choose one.
She quietly hears footsteps approaching. "Good luck tanning in this light, you'll only burn," he jokes, sitting down beside her.
"I burn anyway, natural light or otherwise," she says, unmoving.
"Why are you covering your eyes?" he asks.
"It's too bright."
"What do you do during the summer?" he scoffs, confused.
"It's different," she defends, still shielding her eyes. "The heat from the sun actually feels different and it's much harder to get skin cancer while outside for an hour than it is to get radiation poisoning from sitting under a light bulb."
He laughs and takes off his Austin Moon jacket, laying it gently over her arms and head. "There you go, Princess," he chuckles softly.
She pulls the jacket off and smiles at him. "Thanks," she says and pulls it back.
"Raini said you and Dove are going to see Frozen," he says matter-of-factly.
She wonders what he's playing at, but answers. "Yeah. We invited Raini, but she has some thing to go to for Rico, so it's just us and Ryan." Third wheeling, she thinks to herself.
"I liked it," Ross states. "What about you?"
She practically throws the jacket off. "Are you kidding?" she demands. "It's incredible. It's seriously the cutest movie I've seen in a very long time."
"Mind if I tag along?" he asks awkwardly. "I'd love to see it again."
Her heart stops. He wants to tag along. "Really?" she asks, baffled. "People are going to know we went to a movie together..." she warns.
He waves his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, and we'll be bombarded with tweets asking how our double date with them went and we won't answer and they'll get frustrated and make up scenarios and write fanfiction. I know how this dance goes. It's okay. 'It's whatever'," he quotes.
She giggles. "Sure, I'd like it if you came."
"Wait, I have one condition," he says.
"What's that?"
"This is a date." She stares blankly at him. "This, us going to a movie together, is a date. We'll go to a movie and share popcorn and you'll laugh at me as I drop it everywhere and I'll take you home and we'll kiss and we won't tell anyone."
Her face sets in to a wide grin. "I didn't know you liked me that way."
"I do," he says. "I have for a while. And I have a sneaking suspicion you like me too." She nods shyly. "Good. So?"
"It's a date."
Aside from the fact that she just watched her favourite movie in the world with her favourite guy in the world, she was now with him, Dove and Ryan on their way to Ross's house to drop them off, and she couldn't help but focus all of her attention on the way his hand cupped hers and held on to it tightly, like he was protecting her from something. She squeezed it back and just stared longingly at the city outside the vehicle.
She is also thinking about how this didn't really solve her predicament, only added to it, and how Ross is still a flirt and a relationship can seriously endanger their friendship if it ends badly. She still isn't sure if she's ready for a relationship and if she could manage one with her life, but something about the way he looked at her in the dark theatre while she cried over the movie told her that it was worth the risk.
She wonders if he can tell that she's scared.
When Dove and Ryan drop them both off at Ross's house and they drive away, he turns to her and his eyes are serious. "Sit in my car with me?" he asks. She obliges, confused. When they're in, he turns to her and clears his throat. "Are you okay?"
She looks at him oddly. "What do you mean?"
"You've been off all night. Is something wrong?"
"No," she shakes her head. "Everything is right, that's the problem."
"I don't see how that's a problem," he says slowly, trying desperately to put the pieces together.
"Everything is good for me right now and I'm waiting for the shoe to drop. I'm waiting for this – whatever this is – to take a turn for the worst and drive a wedge between us. I'm afraid media will ruin it. I'm not sure if I'll be able to do this when you leave for your shows. I know R5 is your priority and that's okay. I get that. I just don't know if I can do it."
He looks at her with sad but determined eyes for a long moment. "You know in Austin & Ally, when I sing, 'I'm a workaholic. I'm on my phone – I feel at home'?" he asks. She nods. "Well it's like that. I'm away a lot so I'm on my phone. Work – both this and the band – are important to me. But when I'm with R5, I'm always texting you and anyone else I can't see regularly, because 'I feel at home' with everyone, and even though I can't have both my worlds at once when I'm away, I try to get what I can from that. I'm always on my phone, always texting you. You know why? Because, like Austin, I'm stuck on you. And I'm not going to not be just because of some distance. I'll still be around to send you a Laura joke or two or to text you goodnight. I'll still be there to FaceTime after shows. I'll be here. I'll just be... there. I don't want you to be afraid of losing anything when you're with me. I don't want to cost you anything. I want to be the Kristoff to your Anna. The prince to your princess. And if we can't do that, at least the Austin to your Ally." He's holding her hands at this point.
And though she doesn't want to admit it, she feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of her shoulders. She's smiling, tears brimming. "I love you so much," she says. "I have for so long."
"I love you more." And they share a brief kiss then, Laura's uneven breaths tickling his lips and the saltiness of her tears staining them. His hands weave through her hair softly as he pulls away. He holds her face in his hands and looks her over. He grins. "Nice shirt," he comments, running his fingers over the Walk The Moon Band logo.
:)