It's terrifying the moment you realize you're in love. Especially when you have never loved anything in your entire life. But in that moment, there was know doubt in my mind that I was completely head over heels in love Astrid Ellison. I loved the way she didn't take shit from anyone, the way she knew everything and most of all her bravery. However there was no doubt in my mind that she completely hated me. I thought she looked pretty damn sexy glaring up at me her face betraying none of the fear I knew she felt. I had her pinned to the ground my whip was raised and prepared to come down and strike her in a fraction of a second. I was supposed to kill her. Those were the orders that Caine gave me, and I had planned on killing her slowly and enjoying every second of it. I would have enjoyed every flicker of pain, suffering and fear that contorted her beautiful. I would have enjoyed watching Sam's horrified reaction when he found her body. But in that moment I couldn't, nor did I care what the consequences of my actions would be. I didn't care if she would hate me for the rest of my life. I lowered my whip. I saw her expression change to suspicious and confusion. God, she was beautiful. I leaned down and I kissed her. And in that moment I knew what it felt like to be truly happy. I knew what tit felt like to feel alive. She didn't kiss me back of course, but it was still the most amazing kiss I have had in my life. I took one last look at her face before letting her up and walking away. She just laid there in shock. I would return to Coates and tell Caine I couldn't find her, and that Sam had hidden her away somewhere, so there was no point in sending someone else. I would like to tell you that it was some life changing experience and that I became the good guy and we lived happily ever after, but that would be complete bullshit. I am the villain, and the villain never gets the girl. Honestly, I don't think I deserve her. I only hope that she will be happy with Sam. No matter what happens I will always have that moment just as I will always be in love with Astrid Ellison no matter how much I deny it.