The bath was uncomfortably hot and Temari found herself fidgeting restlessly as she tried to relax in it. The other one was trying not to stare as she leaned far over the other side, her hair drooping and slipping out of her buns. But to be unkept was expected in the hot springs and it was not for appearances that the women were weary of one another.
It took time but eventually Temari turned to her with a determined glare. Tenten responded with the same, but refused to be the one to yield.
"Well neither of us are able to relax in here, why don't we decide now who's leaving?"
Tenten's brow arched, but she tried to hide her clenched jaw as she responded:
"Why don't you try not to be so unbearable and then we'd both be able to relax?" She spoke as if the other one had not.
"Obviously it'll have to be quick, or at least not with jutsus, since the winner should have bath water left to soak in. So how are we going to decide?"
Tenten's fists clenched against the hot tile underneath her arms.
"If you're really unable to relax then leave. I was here first!"
"Typical of a child to resort to that. It doesn't matter who went in first, what matters is who is stronger."
She paused to lean forward, a forced smirk on her lips.
"And we've already proven, many times, that that's me."
She waited for Tenten's answer but it was slow coming. Her facade fizzled away to real irritation as she leaned back again. The other woman had kept her expression steady, her mouth twitching with words fighting to break free. When she spoke they were even and low.
"Not everything's a competition…"
"Yes it is."
Her tone matched, they both sat in the chill of their words. Without warning, Temari lifted out of the bath. Tenten tensed as if waiting for an attack, before she turned to the retreating figure.
"Why do you have to be such a bitch all the time?!"
When she stopped Tenten tensed again, gritting her teeth and glaring furiously. Temari, for her part, remained calm, turning only halfway to stare cooly back down.
"A little girl wouldn't understand, but I'm not mad at you for it. One day you will."
Tenten turned to face her then, raising out of the bath as well but remaining in the hot water.
"I'm not much younger than you! Besides, we fought in a war together, I've seen it with my own eyes! Stop acting like you're the Sage of Womanhood! Idiot!"
Temari was stunned, momentarily dumbfounded before she laughed. It burst out of her, a mocking, hard laugh and lasted well past the point of stinging the other girl's cheeks. While she couldn't bring herself to chastise her again, she was struck by the it. Had she not been so proud, or at least desperate to prove she was, she might have left then. But she remained stubbornly planted even as Temari strolled back and perched herself on the edge of the bath, pretty long legs crossed and swirling the water.
"The Sage of Womanhood? Do you even listen to yourself talk? You spend too much time around Lee."
"So does Gaara."
The air iced over, Temari's leg stilled as if frozen. She glared evenly at Tenten, who flinched at her own petty words but pulled herself up under Temari's stare.
"Don't ever talk about my brothers. Besides, Gaara hasn't had a visitor from the Leaf since before the war. It's been over a year since his so called 'friends' decided to see if he was anything more than breathing and signing paperwork."
It had been an unfounded jab and both girls turned their faces away in respective shame for the truth of the Kazekage's loneliness.
"Alright, so… why do you have to be such a… difficult person to be around all the time? Even Gaara's easier to deal with!"
Temari sunk a little further into the water, both legs stirring now. She shrugged lightly, her voice low and raw.
"Never thought I'd hear that. Especially from a little girl. I don't usually watch my behavior, since no one is going to lecture me about it. But I guess it doesn't matter why I behave this way, it's not like I'll change for you."
Tenten sank again into the bath, folding her arms over her chest in an almost pitiable act of defiance.
"I'm not asking you to change! Just why do you make it your personal mission to pick on me especially? I never did anything to you! Yeah, we were matched against each other in the Chounin Exams but if anything I should be resentful of you, for how you treated me since then."
"Then why aren't you?"
"Well… My dad always said you shouldn't hold grudges, that there's always something that hate stems from. It's always ugly… And common."
The other one swirled her fingers in the water before ladling a palm full. When she looked back Tenten was still waiting, real interest in her simple, honest face.
"My father told me to always settle your debts and if someone wronged you to make them pay dearly for it so that no weakness ever shows."
Tenten lowered her arms slowly, the raw sadness making Temari scowl.
"That's a terrible thing to tell a child. No wonder you're such a bit-uh, mean person."
"You already said it once, why avoid it?"
"Because I'm sorry."
"Oh please! That last thing I need is your pity." She turned her head, flicking the palm full of water away. Tenten scowled but it had already lost its malice.
"No… But I get it now… Your dad's the idiot Sage of Womanhood." Her attempt worked. Temari laughed, a little quieter, a little kinder.
"He was a lot of things but he was still my father. And We-I, loved him. We all did for a time." She relaxed openly now, grateful for the thaw in their conversation.
"Even Kankuro?"
"Of course."
"Even Gaara?"
"I don't know. I think maybe, once, when he was very young and Father was still just a shadow to him. Something of legend that brought him toys and orders. Before they met each other." Tenten took the bait, which had been laid out unintentionally.
"I assume you don't like dwelling on the past but I have to ask, did you even see each other as children?" Temari shrugged lightly, swallowing thickly before waving her hand away again. A few droplets hit the surface but it was now just an empty gesture.
"Kankuro and I were raised side by side, mostly pitted against one another. Gaara was no man's land; a dark shadow that hung over the palace. Father took great pains for us never to see him… Ask away, I know you're dying to know more."
She leaned far back, one arm dangling over the rim of the tub. Tenten remarked her forced calm before giving in with a huff.
"Ok, I am. I don't really know much except that Gaara was a total brat and well, maniac."
She hesitated here, looking to Temari, who had taken to swirling her fingers in the water again.
"So… I guess what I'm asking is… How did you two manage? I mean, basically having a demon living under your roof and an busy ruler for a dad? Must have been hard."
If she had excepted a deliberating silence she was disappointed. Temari answered quickly and cleanly, as if remarking the detail of an old mission and not her life.
"Like I said, Kankuro and I were pitted against each other. It kept us occupied, but alone. It forced us to seek our father for comfort, affection, and anything else that children need.
We were privately tutored and given one exam a week. Monday. Monday was exam day. Tuesday was agility, jutsus focus sessions as well as literary focus; wednesday was trapezius, deltoids, biceps, and pectorals; thursday was hamstrings, quads, calves, and glutes; friday was abs, rhomboids, and lats; saturday was weekly jutsus focus sessions; and sunday was free day."
She was at this point, rambling. Her eyes had drifted and mouth was hard, she searched the soft pink tiles on the bath house walls like they were bitter and old. Tenten was fascinated now by the process by which she forgot herself and realized slowly that Temari had scarcely talked to her without forced malice and cultured cruelty. She felt herself sink into the labored memory, the hot bath cooling with the dark scenes before her. Temari continued as if speaking in a daze but paused occasionally to collect herself and swirl her hand through the water again, as if to remember where she was and not be exposed.
"Kankuro was bigger than me from the day he was born. He was a thick and heavy baby, I remember my mom talking about it proudly. When she died he didn't understand, he was almost three and stupid. After the funeral Father took him away for the first time. Keeping him by the grave, at his side, even as I was forced to my room. I hated Kankuro for it; because I was nearly five and stupid. He did things like that, keeping us together by force and then taking one away to show favoritism when we began to get along... But enough of that-" She said, collecting herself and swirling the water once more.
"To answer your question; we managed by devoting ourselves completely to our rivalry. It was distracting enough and helped us to take out our anger. Nearly every day Father would make us practice our chosen jutsus as well as basic taijutsu on each other at the end of the appointed training. I beat Kankuro nearly every time, in both written and physical exams. He grew cruel and impersonal from it, he was intolerable. But one day we met Gaara and that's really what united us. We decided we had a mutual enemy and I began flunking my tests on purpose, letting Kankuro focus more on his chosen jutsus and become a real challenge. So that's how we managed."
She raised her other hand, running it through her damp hair as she eased herself back into the bath. Tenten had listened patiently, burning with questions.
"So… Why did meeting Gaara make you decide to call a truce? You could just have easily focused more on your rivalry to distract yourself."
"We were older then; I was eight and Kankuro was six. When we saw Gaara we realized we couldn't treat him like an apparition anymore. That he existed even when we didn't want him to. So it was better to have friends then enemies; especially when your mutual enemy was a terrifying monster."
She flinched on the last word, but raised her head minutely, glancing down at Tenten as if she had said it. It was an obvious defense and seemed to Tenten flimsy once exposed. She smiled a bit at it and Temari continued as if she still had power over her.
"He wasn't much to look at, not for a monster. I remember thinking at first 'What a cute kid' Which was rare, since I never liked kids."
She gave her an even look;
"Never. But he was an exception and it… Moved Kankuro more than me. I remember Gaara looked shaken up, like he had seen a ghost. Father, on the other hand, was livid and brought us both to his sides. Gaara stood on the opposite side of the room, wide eyes looked like little moons for how pale and round they were. He was visibly shaking and stood alone. He looked so small and helpless between the two Anbu who guarded him; I heard Kankuro whine on the other side of Father and shift from foot to foot. When Father began interrogating him, he seemed unable to speak. He was so scared his tiny voice trembled."
"What was he being interrogated for?"
The other woman took advantage of the silence to press for details, she was perched on the edge of the stone rim, the soothing water forgotten.
"He had broken a major rule: Conspiring with an enemy ninja. Or at least, that's how Father put it. Really he had taken to spending his nights talking with an old prisoner of war, they had become friends through the windows of the old man's cell. The prisoner had been blinded, you see, to hinder any escape. He didn't know he was talking to the Shukaku's Jinjurikki. He said he didn't know, when brought in for questioning.
He was feeble and pathetic and I immediately hated him. The weak were disgusting to me, so I missed the look Gaara gave the man when he began defending himself. Kankuro described it to me later, in hushed tones when we spent our first night huddled under my bed. He looked like his throat had been cut when the old man denounced their friendship and accused Gaara of many stupid things; tricking him with disguises and forcing him with threats and blackmail. Father really didn't listen long, he had two more Anbu restrain him and hold his chains. Gaara cried and begged, but he could only manage 'please' over and over as they forced the man to bend over and brought a large bowl."
Tenten easily predicted where this was heading. She swallowed thickly as Temari stilled completely again, emerald eyes darkening with the story. Although it would have been easy to stop her, all she had to do was move, she remained still, compelled to hear the end of it.
"When they brought the knife to the old man's throat he was blubbering apologizes, cursing Gaara, the Shukaku, his native village. His snot and tears dripped into the bowl and for a moment I thought 'That blood will be tainted', a thought which, is still a mystery to me. Father held the knife under the old man's throat, successfully silencing him. He still choked and sobbed, but now we could hear what Gaara had to say.
His voice, I will always remember, was so small and pathetic even I was moved to care. He sounded like, like a tiny bird. He wrung his hands in front of him and had to stretch his neck to see over his shrug. But when he spoke it was with this, this desperation. This hopelessness… It hurt me."
She paused here, lost in the memory. The pained voice came back to her now, scraping inside her skull and swelling to an uncomfortable mass deep in her chest.
Please, don't kill him! I won't do it again, I promise. Please, please, I, I'll-I'll, go to the rice paddies like you said, I'll do it! I promise, I won't fight it any more. Please don't kill him, I'll do the mission, the rice paddies mission, I won't wait any longer. But he's… He likes me. Please, Father, he likes me…
"He tried to make a deal to go on a dangerous mission in return for the man's life. Father didn't give him that option, he sliced the throat open in one smooth movement, the old man only had time to gasp and cough up a few mouthfuls before the rest of his blood began pouring down his clothes and into the bowl. Since I was short, I could see glimpses of Gaara's expression. He looked so… Shocked. Then his whole face went blank, before he screamed.
It was the scream that terrified us. Kankuro and I shrank away and for whatever reason, maybe because I was the closest one, he ran to me for protection. And I held onto him. I put my arms around him as if that would do anything and watched as Father braved the swirling sands and wrenched Gaara up under one arm to shake him. When that didn't stop his screaming and struggling, he used his jutsu. We had never seen the gold dust before, there was no need for him to use it around us. It came crashing down on Gaara in waves, drowning him out in a moment before he struggled again. Father had to shove him down into a mass and nearly drown him in it before he calmed. But it was more than enough. Gaara was still crying but he kicked and scratched feebly while fighting tears. He was tossed across the room and landed against the far wall, hitting a cushioning of sand. He was ordered to his room but Father had to storm after him the whole way; lashing out with the gold dust again as they turned the hall. He practically had to wrestle him into submission and we had never seen our Father extend effort on anything. Ever. For Gaara's tantrum to make him sweat and struggle made him seem… Weak. And limited. Kankuro and I realized that Father was no longer all powerful and that Gaara was a serious threat. In a sense, our loyalty swapped. From Father to each other, because if he couldn't defend us, what good was he?"
She finished with a half shrug, which was common enough, but Tenten noticed she seem to wilt and shrink. Her lips pressed into a thin line and her proud shoulders were brought low. She released a breath she didn't realize she had been holding, sitting back against the edge of the bath without looking away from Temari, who pulled herself together after a few moments, giving her haughtiest glare and teasing her lightly.
"Well, is that it? No more questions?"
Tenten took a moment to process this. It was… a lot to absorb. But she did have one question left.
"So… That's why you're a bitch?"
"Seriously? I wasn't really up for answering another question. Especially when you're just being a brat."
They both laughed; their first easy breath.
"Ok, ok, but I guess I'm glad you feel ok with talking to me." Temari took a moment to appraise her simple, honest face, before offering a genuine smile.
"Whatever. I'm going to leave you alone now, so try to enjoy the soak."
"Actually, I think I'm done. Any longer and I'll pass out." She climbed out and strode over to the waiting towels, nearly bouncing in her steps. Her soggy hair buns swayed from it, nearly unraveling. When she looked back, Temari had her back to the entrance, seemingly content in the soak. For all her callousness Tenten felt a bit of pride that she had put such trust in her, turning to the comfortable warmth of the outer rooms with a smile.