Rating: G.
Pairing: Buffy/Spike.
Summary: After Chosen Buffy has regrets.
Disclaimer: I can't take credit for much of this. The characters are Joss Whedon's creations. The operative phrase and inspiration is taken from the song A kiss is a terrible thing to waste by Jim Steinman.
A/N: I felt the need to post something and have had this little thing lying around for a while. I hope it's not complete rubbish.
If only... There were so many of those onlies.
If only she had been braver.
If only if she had been stronger.
If only he hadn't left.
If only she had admitted it sooner.
If only she had told him sooner.
If only he had believed her.
If only... there wasn't room for anything else in her head.
It was the last thing he said to her. She didn't find it until two days later in the inside pocket of her jacket. A pocket she never used but somehow she had felt the note there.
She stormed out of the room when she recognized the handwiriting. Stormed off, sat down and cried. She hadn't cried before that. He had died for her. It was his choice. He wanted it - wanted to be the hero, save the world. Do the job for her.
If only he hadn't been so damn brave he would be with her now.
It seemed like hours later when she carefully folded the sheet of paper open and read his message.
Buffy
If only are the lonliest words you'll ever know.
Never be lonely.
Love,
Spike
The tears started to well up in her eyes again but this time she fought to hold them back.
"Stupid vampire" she muttered while standing up and heading towards the bathroom to splatter some cold water on her face.