A/N: This isn't really the way I'm used to writing…but I wanted to try it. So I will. it's a bit sad…
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this one.
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Annabeth's POV.
Thalia sat silently beside me, tears streaming down her face. She hadn't known him long, but she knew him well. Grover sat on my other side with his arm around me, trying to look strong. I knew how hard this had to be for him. I saw other faces I knew; Beckendorf who had to keep looking away to keep his composure; Silena, under his arm, uncharacteristically somber in black rather than the usual hot pink; the Stoll twins with no mischievous intent present in their eyes; Tyson, sobbing loudly, tears streaming from his eye; Clarisse, missing her usual shell of anger, and several others who I failed to recognize.
We were at his funeral. Again.
And what, you may ask, was I doing? At the funeral of my best friend, the person I trusted more than anyone in this world, how was I? Was I hysterical? Was I angry? Did I sit and try to relive the good times we'd had?
No.
I was numb.
Or at least, I was trying to be numb. Emotion shouldn't come openly to a child of Athena. I should've been the strong one, holding everyone together.
But I couldn't do it.
I tried for as long as I could, until I felt it. I felt the tear run down my cheek. Heard the sob escape my throat as pressure built. I felt my reserve crumble and give way to the pain I felt as Grover tightened his grip around my shoulders. I couldn't handle it. I let the sadness and pain overtake my body and all I could even think, the only thing that fought its way into my mind was-
"Why?" I screamed it at the top of my lungs. I now had the attention of everyone in the room; I didn't care. I knew there had been someone speaking, but I didn't care about that either. I was just barely in control anymore.
"Why did it have to be him? He didn't deserve to die. He was amazing. He was nice, and brave, and smart, and funny, and heroic, and perfect and I loved him and he's gone and I don't know why."
I was having an out of body experience. I had no control over anything that I was saying. My heart had long since taken over. I could hear my words coming, louder and more rushed as I continued. I looked up at the sky.
"Please, gods, please tell me why! I need him with me. I'm sorry for whatever I did to deserve this. I'm sorry for anything he did. I'm sorry for anything that has ever taken place that could justify this, ok? I just need him." The rush of emotion left me, and all I could do was fall to the ground and cry. I felt Thalia kneel beside me and wrap me up in a hug. Grover had his hand on my back, trying to comfort me as best as he could. I could feel the eyes of other campers on me, but I couldn't have looked up if I wanted to.
I didn't watch them burn his shroud. I don't know how much longer the funeral went on. It might've ended right then. I only know that we were there long after everyone else was gone. Eventually, Thalia helped me up and I went back to my cabin. None of my brothers or sisters bothered me. They were all very nice…and distant. I don't blame them. They had no way of knowing that what I needed more than anything was to be close to someone, for someone to hold me and tell me it was okay the way he'd done so many times. I knew that I'd dream of him. I knew that in the morning and mornings to come I would talk to Thalia and Grover and make no mention of the funeral, no mention of him at all. He'd remain a memory, always in my head, always present in my heart. I'd only speak his name to myself…
Goodbye, Seaweed Brain. I miss you.
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A/N: Review…