Disclaimer: I don't own anything you might recognize.
A/N: I got this idea while watching 'Robot Chicken' on Adult Swim. What can I say? I got off work early...
HP woke up with a start and looked around, wondering what had awoken him so suddenly. There, standing next to his bed, was a giant fucking blue M&M statue. HP let out a scream and scuttled backwards, falling off his bed and hitting his pretty brown head.
"Ho'shit, who put this in my fucking room?" HP screamed, looking around and finding Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Draco, Neville, and Blaise all standing around, laughing their asses off.
"You guys fucking suck! Fuck! You dicks! I oughtta murder you bitches!" he yelled, storming around and gathering his clothes. "And where the fuck are my shoes?!? What the hell are these giant shoes?" HP stomped into the bathroom, not even waiting for an answer. It was only when he came back out that he noticed that not only had they stayed in the room, but they were also wearing Viking helmets and those big ass boots that he had found earlier in place of his regular shoes.
"Ok, what the fucking is going on?" HP asked.
"Well, it's Weasel Stomping Day, Harry, so put on these boots. We need to find us some weasels to fucking stomp before they're all gone!" Draco yelled, stomping on a weasel that ran by. It let out a loud SQUEEK! as it was squished.
"Oh, fuck me, I forgot!" the HP shouted, hurrying into his big ass boots and, snatching his Viking hat, the seven of them ran out of the room, stomping on all the weasels they could find. They ran to the Great Hall, where there was plenty of banners declaring 'WEASEL STOMPING DAY!' 'DON'T FORGET THE MAYO!' 'LOVE THE SHOES!.'
"Ho'shit, I forgot my mayo!" Ginny groaned.
Draco and Blaise started snickering. "Oh, I got your mayo right here, luv," Draco said, grabbing his crotch.
"Oh, yea, 'cause that's sexy," Hermione sniffed.
"I knew you wanted me!" Draco yelled, which drew the attention of the enitre hall, which everyone replied back, "Well, no fucking duh!"
Hermione's face turned bright red and she flipped everyone the bird.
"Um, ok, so, can I get your attention?" Dumbledore said, standing on the dais, wearing bright purple and green robes and a pair of the huge boots. The hall turned to him as one. "Yea, ok, so welcome to 'Weasel Stomping Day.' You all know the rules, No stomping on each other, No drinking, and Don't forget to keep count! Whoever stomps the most wins! Yea, that's all." Albus stepped down, stepping on three weasels, one after another.
Everyone went crazy, laying down mayo traps and stomping the guts out of the weasels that came to the traps before someone else did. Every so often, you would hear a teacher yell 'OUT!' as someone broke a rule, usually the drinking one.
At midnight, the tallies were counted and Neville was declared the winner with a total of 123,709 weasels. He was awared a giant chocolate weasel and a toothpick.
As everyone cheered, a strange little man, with a big head, skinny body and glasses, made his way up to the dais, shoved Neville out of the way and looked over the assembled hall.
"Drugs are bad, m'kay."
Then he disappered.
"What the fuck?"
A/N: I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking...