Deidara was hated by his village and father. His mother, who actually cared for him died in a war. He was considered a monster. How does he feel with all this pain?
WARNING: Angsty Deidara. Do not read if you don't like this kind of Dei.
RATED: T for Angsty-ness.
Yey! Another fic coming to you ppl from Saki! In this one, Dei-kun is not part of the Akatsuki. He's about 14 - 15. Written in his POV.
I wrote this from 1:00am - 3:00am. Yup. I always seem to write mah stories at the wee hours of the morning.
R&R if you want!
Blah - Song Lyrics
Blah - Talking (Dei's POV)
Blah - Thinking
Song: "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day
Do I own Naruto or Green Day? Nopperz.
The members of the criminal organization, Akatsuki, sat in a circle in the dorm of Itachi and Kisame.
"Who's turn next?" Tobi questioned.
The members were telling each-other about the saddest time of their pasts. Angsty or plain old sad, they all wanted to know.
"Deidara, I guess." Kakuzu said, turning to the blonde. Deidara flinched as everyone leaned in on him. "I- uhh... Hm..." He stuttered. "Well?" Hidan quizzed the hesitant teen. "It's kinda hard to explain..." Deidara faltered. "Don't worry, Deidara. I killed my parents and I was hated by my whole village." Itachi conveyed. "Well..." Deidara paused. "It was kinda like that too..." "Then it can't be that bad." Kisame judged.
Deidara sighed and shut his eyes, letting the memory come back...
Boulevard of Broken Dreams: A Story Told by Deidara
I walked along a cobble stone path within Iwagakure. The streetlamps were the only light present at this time of night.
Midnight.
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
As if anyone in their right mind would be out at midnight in Iwagakure, so, yes, it was just me, alone.
Iwagakure has been my "home" ever since I was born. Because of this, I've come to know these streets like the back of my hand. Even so, I can never know where my feet will take me. I've lived in this village for my whole life - 17 years - Yet, I always end up some where different when I stride down this path that leads to my old residence.
Despite the fact that most other kids and adults fear me, given that I do have mouths on my hands and I'm quite skilled with explosives, I still consider this village home.
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
I kept strolling along the vacant walkway, thinking back on memories and dreams I once had. My parents died during a small war between Konoha and Iwa when I was still a young child. At 7 years old, I had to learn to live on my own with no one else by my side.
You may be wondering if I walk unaccompanied like this a lot. Well, I do. Whenever I knew the village was at rest, I would surface from my small apartment and walk this path of my memories.
Me and me alone.
I walk alone
I walk alone
My father was hardly home, so, I was in no way that close to him. But, my mother...
Let's just say she was the nicest woman you could ever meet. She taught me everything to know about explosives and sculpted art from clay. Best of all, she loved me for who I was, never caring about my irregular hands.
I walk alone
I walk a...
I stopped for a mere second, thinking of where I might be going, but I quickly brushed that thought away and continued on my way to who-knows-where.
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
The streetlights illuminated my figure, causing my shadow to form and walk in time with me.
Does my shadow mock me when it follows me from behind, knowing I can not see it?
Those memories of my family were no more, as my heart has lost all feeling of happiness.
Is it a heart that simply beats, keeping me alive in this lonely world?
I would always wonder if I'd feel accepted again, like when I was with my family.
Would I be able to let go of this pain of loneliness inside of me?
Will I ever be able to trust in somebody?
'Til then I walk alone...
Completely oblivious that I had stopped again, I shook my head and, for a second time, carried on with my nightly walk.
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone
On the outside, you may see an energetic blonde teen. Acting like he has no troubles whatsoever.
Fake.
I fake a smile, I fake a laugh, I fake everything.
On the inside, my mind is much deeper in thought. How will I keep myself alive with all this agony?
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I seem to daydream a lot. Lost in thought, thinking of what's gone completely wrong in my life and what I still have. Whenever I'm plagued with Artist's Block and Writer's Block, I merely space out and hop on my train of ideas, dreams, thoughts, and memories.
Again, I stop, aware of it this time, and place my hand over my heart.
Bah bum. Bah bum. Bah bum.
I sighed in, what seemed like, relief. I often forget if my heart is still operating.
I walk alone
I walk alone
I looked to the sky and persisted with my walk.
I walk alone
I walk a...
Only to sigh, this time what felt like sorrow.
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
My shadow was still alongside me when I looked downwards.
Will it ever leave my side?
My heart was still in control of my life when I heard it beating.
When will it stop pounding?
My thoughts still fixed on if I'll ever meet someone who would truly care.
Where will I stumble upon "this person"?
Would I ever be needed in this abandoned existence?
'Til then I walk alone...
I stopped for what seemed like eternity.
I shut my eyes.
Clutched my chest.
And gritted my teeth as a tear slipped down my cheek.
"I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams...
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone..."
The lyrics slipped through my cracked lips in a whisper. The lines echoed within my head over and over. I silently wiped the tear from my face and kept on pacing forwards slowly.
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
My shadow is the only solitary company I have on this dark night.
My heart is the particular fixation that would keep me breathing.
My mind is the individual complex that would keep my hopes up.
I will find somebody to reside with me and relieve me of my solitude.
My heart will have another fascination to keep it throbbing and me existing.
That "someone" will find me.
I smiled. A real one. My legs started moving again, instigating me to move on. I walked along that lonely road, to somewhere, with my shadow alongside me, my heart pulsing, keeping me alive, and hoping my beliefs of that someone finding me would come to pass.
"'Til then I walk alone..."
Hope you ppl enjoyed!
Sorry if it was too angsty and serious. -w-;
Deidara: Why am I so... angsty?
I don't know Deidei... I don't know... I heard the song on my iPod, and automatically thought of you...
Deidara: -.-'' Un...
-Saki
(btw, it's 9/11 today, so I decided to dedicate this story to all those who lost their lives.)