The OC meets Draco, Harry, and Ron

by the-princess-of-quite-a-lot

Crack fic. Uses sexual euphamisms and, by golly, het and gay sex-but not explicit ;D. Do not read if that makes you uncomfortable. RECENTLY CHANGED THE RATING TO M TO COMPLY WITH

Disclaimer- I own nothing :D

I was an average teenage girl.

Except for I wasn't, because I was a witch.

I went to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I frequently rubbed shoulders with the likes the Patil twins, Crabbe and Goyle, and the less significant Golden Trio.

One time, I was in Diagon Alley. I was looking through Borgin Bourke for some books. By chance, I came upon Draco Malfoy.

I said "Hello, Draco," pronouncing it with the a long A. He looked at me with a sneer.

"It's DRAKKO," he explained rudely. When he was angry, he looked like a sex animal.

I apologized profusely, and then wet my lips and informed him he looked like a sex animal when he was angry. He promptly became infuriated because he thought I was insinuating that he didn't look like a sex animal when he wasn't angry. But he also thought I was really hot. I was happy about this, so I shoved my tongue in his mouth. They battled for dominance. Then, he cast a spell and both of us were naked in the middle of the book store!

"OMG Draco," I said, covering my body, "I don't know if I'm ready!" He told me I was fine and I trusted him. We did the doobly doo. It was icky.

Harry Potter walked out of the cabinet while we were engaged in the intercourse. Then he took my place and I started screaming "CGS! CGS!" A crowd had gathered. Someone said "Wow, Draco, I didn't know you liked boys."

"First of all, it's pronounced DRAKKO, you moron. Second of all, this is a girl," he snarled, still doing the nasty. Then he looked down and screamed. "Oh my god, Potter, this is a new low for you. Please go away forever; I will never live this down."

Potter looked quite calm and expressionless. Then he said, "What's going on? Drakko, why are you naked and why am I naked?" He didn't remember a thing. Then I looked into the crowd, and saw Ron Weasley putting away his magic wand. Both kinds of wands. I said, "oh em gizzle, hazzah, you were under Ron's imperious curse!" THE CROWD GASPED. HARRY GASPED. I GASPED. DRACO ROLLED HIS EYES AND MUMBLED SOMETHING ABOUT HOW HE DIDN'T FIND IT ALL THAT SURPRISING SINCE ONE TIME HE SAW RON DRESSED UP LIKE CHER IN THE COMMON ROOM LIP SYNCHING TO THE SUPREMES.

A.N.-CGS stands for consensual gay sex
Written by myself and gaystar