For I am a mere Sorting Hat

by malfoyforever

Which House would Twilight characters be in IF they went to Hogwarts? Not really a story, inspired by Loveliest Tragedies's "Half Blood Houses". Chapter 1: The Olympic Coven. COMPLETE.

1. The Olympic Coven

The Olympian Coven

Isabella Marie Swan Cullen

"Cullen, Isabella!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Note: Bella is forcibly Hufflepuff, as she demonstrates several traits: loyalty, honesty (she says she does not like to lie), caring (she cares for Renee and Charlie very much), and non-judging (she does not care whether the Cullens are vampires or not).

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen

"Cullen, Edward!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Note: Edward is most obviously a Gryffindor – he is brave, chivalrous, and loyal. Un point, c'est tout!

Mary Alice Brandon Cullen

"Cullen, Alice!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Note: I had thought of putting her in Slytherin for her indifference to what others cared and cunning and then in Gryffindor for her nerve and daring, but finally I decided on Hufflepuff. Perhaps Alice's most defining quality is her outgoing, friendly personality, and that's a Hufflepuff standard.

Jasper Whitlock Hale

"Hale, Jasper!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

Note: Sure, ole Jazz's a good person, but "bad person" isn't really in Slytherin criteria, is it? I think that Jasper would have been cunning to be such a good soldier – anticipating the move of the enemy, you know, and outsmarting them? I think he's also ambitious and determined, and brave in a Slytherin-way.

Rosalie Lillian Hale

"Hale, Rosalie!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

Note: Hmm, Rose was a hard one, all right. I thought of Hufflepuff, but then declined. After all, she is very alike Narcissa Malfoy (who was also very loyal to her family) and Cissa was a Slytherin, was she not?

Emmett Dale McCarty Cullen

"Cullen, Emmett!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Note: Yay, now Emmett's joining Edward! Emmett is reckless, impatient, brave, daring, and has nerve: perfect lion, that one.

Carlisle Cullen

"Cullen, Carlisle!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Note: Carlisle couldn't be any other House besides Hufflepuff, really. His strongest trait is compassion and he is patient and non-judgmental.

Esme Anne Platt Cullen

"Cullen, Esme!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Note: While her husband's strongest trait is compassion, hers is the ability to love. She is kind, generous, non-judgmental, patient, and caring.

Renesmee Carlie Cullen

"Cullen, Renesmee!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Note: So little Nessie joins her dad at the Gryffindor table! From what we hear from Nessie, she's kind, honorable, intelligent, competitive, and curious. However, I think that Renesmee would be most like her father, hence her Gryffindor Sorting.

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Next up: The Quileute shapeshifters!

After that: The Volturi

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