Author's Note: This is just a short little oneshot I had in my head. Comments and feedback are always welcomed. If you guys have any requests for other oneshots feel free to contact me. Also, if you're interested in Levi/Eren/Erwin please check out my work in progress titled "And So It Happens"
There's a man who rides the same train I do. Everyday, at the same time, and somehow, I don't know how, we end up standing side by side. It's always like this. I don't remember when I started noticing the shorter man with ink black hair who usually held a book in one hand, the other holding on tightly to the handle hanging from above; the only thing allowing him to keep his balance.
At the time, I didn't know why this man held my attention. There wasn't anything that really stood out other than his perpetual scowl. He wasn't handsome in the conventional sense but his features suited him well.
I knew my staring wouldn't go unnoticed for long but I had never been one to deny myself.
This went on for a few weeks. I would glance to the side from time to time, taking him in; he would be caught up in whatever book he had. It wasn't until the dreams started that I realized what it was that captivated me.
It was none other than Corporal Levi.
I had known ever since I was a child about that other world. The one with the man-eating beasts: the titans as they were called. They had haunted me for a long time, starting around the time I turned nine. The screaming would wake up my parents. It got to the point where my mother asked my father to sedate me, just to help me sleep. The next day I heard them talking in hushed tones in the kitchen about finding a good therapist- one that could help me with my affliction. The doctor they sent me to was surely a good one, one of the best in the area no doubt. They tried to convince me that it was just a figment of my imagination. It would go away soon enough. I just had to realize that none of it was real. My mother didn't die, I was never a titan, never killed anyone either. Humanity was safe.
It became apparent to me that they would never believe what I had to say, so I learned to keep it to myself. I stopped screaming at night as I got used to the nightmares instead, merely waking up in a cold sweat. I smiled whenever my parents were around and never spoke about it again. I opted to keep a journal, every little thing I remembered I wrote down. I never wanted to forget, not after everything. And that's how I knew the man before me was Levi.
The dreams had started right after I started riding the same train as him. The way it happened with everyone that I encountered from that world. The first were my parents since they were the ones closest to me at the time. Then came Armin and Mikasa, but of course they had no memory of it. It was soon after I started middle school and met former members of the 104th like Jean and Marco that I realized that I was the only one. No one but me had any memories of the titans, of living in a world behind walls. I wanted to be angry. I wanted them to remember so that I wasn't alone, and I hated myself for having those thoughts. Why should they be denied the right to live their lives without memories of that cruel world? So I kept it to myself, not a word or murmur of it spoken out loud. It was for the best.
Levi, no doubt, is like the rest. If not for the fact that he had not so much as glanced at me these past few weeks, then it was his appearance that gave away his identity. There were subtle differences- things that I would not have picked up if I had not known the man as well as I did, had I not trained with this man, lived by him, watched others die by his side. He was as short as ever, but I may have been biased considering I currently stood at 5'9 and was still growing. His hair, no longer styled in an undercut, was slicked back and to the nape of his neck. It's just slightly shorter than my own. His eyes did not possess his signature bags indicating lack of sleep, yet the droopy eyes and frosty stare still remained in place. He dressed business casual, a messenger bag hung on his side. All in all, he looked far more well rested than in his previous years.
What to do then? He doesn't remember me... maybe I should leave it like this. Over the years I learned to come to terms with the fact that I may not be able to meet or keep the people from that previous life. Things changed, lives were lived and lost. That's just how things are. With that in mind, I decided any contact with him would only harm me. But shit like that is always easier said than done.
It was supposed to be just another day. I was content to watch from the sidelines as Levi went by his morning route and I on my own. Life is funny in a way or maybe I've endured so many cruelties in my past life that my sense of humor in this one is all kinds of fucked. Anyway, it sure was not what I had been expecting. Levi was, as usual, standing at my side, the only thing out of place at this particular moment was the hand that was firmly on my behind making its way further downtown- not in a 'Haha that's such a good White Chicks reference to make right now' but in a 'Holy fuck, I'm being manhandled' kind of way.
If I were being honest, had the hand belonged to the man I'd been thinking of more oft than not, I probably wouldn't have minded, maybe even thrown a shy smile his way. However, that's sure as hell wasn't what was happening. I don't think Levi even acknowledged my presence on a daily basis, let alone what was happening right behind me.
This was such a startling situation that I didn't even know what to do with myself. Do I yell, cause a scene? My inner ramblings had my head spinning. What the actual fuck? What asshole had the nerve?
The train being packed as it was in the morning had the guy pressed up so close that I felt his breath at the nape of my neck. It was disgusting. He had resorted to actually squeezing and palming one of the cheeks. I'd fought against the worst humanity had to offer and face and I couldn't deal with this sort of harassment. A wave of shame hit hard. Burning rage rushed to my face and I felt myself start to shake when I heard it- a resounding slap and the hand that had been fondling me had disappeared. Another appeared on my right shoulder and brought me closer to the man who had been standing passively at my side. I turned to see Levi glaring at the person behind me, his mouth twitching dangerously as if he were holding himself back.
"You know," he began with, "there's this thing called keeping your hands to yourself. I'm sure no one wants to be touched by some creepy, disgusting old man who has to sexually harass boys on the train ride to work in order to get some."
I tried to glance back at whoever it was that had touched me, but the familiar ding of the door opening and scuffling of feet as people pushed their way out and more found their way in, made it impossible to catch even a glimpse. I turned to Levi instead, who to my surprise, was already looking at me. I never planned on talking to him and here I was, granted a perfect opportunity to do so. Fortunately, I was saved from making a fool of myself even further by Levi.
"You seem like you can handle yourself, but I guess the shock must have gotten to you." The hand around me let go. "Disgusting pigs like that are all around so be careful." And just like that, he retreated into his personal bubble and began reading once more. I could only stand there, mouth slightly opened and forming a perfect 'o,' a bit starstruck, and fascinated with the man before me.
Levi had always been humble, never quite flaunting his prowess in battle. Even now, he had saved me and brushed it off as if nothing had happened. What the fuck.
My thoughts overwhelmed me and before I could stop myself, I reached out to him and turned him to me once more. He looked only mildly startled, and peeved at my actions.
"What now?"
"Um, I just," I couldn't bear to look him the eye but I forced myself, flashes of the past at the forefront of my mind. "Thank you so much for everything." I said it with all the passion I was known for and more. I wasn't just thanking him for that moment, but for all the others before it. For letting me stay at his side, for saving me from those who wanted to harm humanity, and most importantly, for saving me from myself. Before it had become too late. I thanked the man before me for all the things that I couldn't thank the other.
I knew tears had begun to fall and run down my face, making me more of a mess than I already was but I couldn't care. Levi's eyebrows furrowed even more. He seemed unsure of the situation.
"It's fine. You seemed distressed and anyone else would have done the same."
I laughed at that. He just didn't get it. Of course he wouldn't. He would never know that world and I would never tell him. My resolve of that hardened right then and there. I smiled shyly at him, and rubbed the tears from my eyes. He wasn't the corporal, I knew that well enough. But I wanted to know this man. It was absurd to have ever thought otherwise.
And so I asked, "Hey, if you're not too busy or have anywhere to be of too much importance right now, want to go grab a cup of tea?"
The intrigued look that glimmered in his eyes was not lost on me.
"Oh? Tea? That doesn't sound too bad."
"I didn't think so." I grinned and introduced myself for the first and last time to Levi.