Disclaimer: Characters belong to Aaron Spelling, E. Duke Vincent, Gary Tomlin, NBC, et al and are used here strictly for non-profit entertainment purposes.
Rating: T
Genre: Drama
Spoilers: Everything through Episode 134, then it becomes AU
Summary: This lie wasn't just for him. It was for their entire family.
A/N: This was originally going to be a one-shot story called "Better Than Spain", but it has evolved into a little bit more.
Chapter One: "Better Than Spain"
A lie which is half a truth is ever the blackest of lies. - Alfred Lord Tennyson
Olivia turned her head to the nightstand, drawn to the red glow of the numbers on the digital clock. Nearly four in the morning. She wasn't exactly surprised to be awake. She fell asleep in the car, slumped against Gregory as he drove them to Carmel. He teased her when they finally arrived at the hotel that she made a horrible co-pilot, the same way he would joke with her on their drives to Tahoe when the children were younger. Now, she was content to flash him a bashful smile and let him think that was all it was. He didn't need to suspect there was another reason for her constant inability to stay awake as of late.
She turned away from the clock, listening to the sounds around her. From far away was the sound of Carmel Bay, the waves crashing against the rocks at the base of the cliffs. Far nearer was the deep and steady sound of Gregory's breathing. He was pressed to her, his heavy arm stretched across her chest in such a way that made inhaling a challenge. The door had barely closed behind the bellboy when her husband pulled her against him and kissed her with a ferocious hunger that made her forget how tired she felt.
At least we made it to the bed, she thought to herself as she lazily combed his hair with her fingers. He was curled up against her, easily sated by the throes of passionate love making. She kissed his head and gently pulled the sheet over him. He mumbled something unintelligible as he turned his face into her shoulder and hugged her tighter. She smiled to herself, feeling delightfully needed by him. He didn't often cling to her. Even in sleep, Gregory Richards rarely surrendered. But not tonight. She closed her eyes and rested her chin on his head. He was exhausted. He'd never admit it, but he was. It wasn't just because of the five hours it took them to get to Carmel. It was the last six months. They'd been an absolute nightmare. Del's murder. Caitlin's burgeoning independence. Sean's surgery. Cole. Elaine's trial.
Worrying about her.
She bit the corner of her lip and gently squeezed him deeper into her embrace. Her affair with Del. Being a suspect in the murder investigation. Her drinking. Now, her "ulcer".
"What's wrong?" he murmured, sleep clinging to his question.
She slowly opened her eyes. "W-what?" They were still, his body warm against hers.
"You heard me."
She shook her head, even though he was oblivious to the gesture. "Nothing," she whispered. "Go back to sleep, darling."
With a deep sigh, he slowly pushed himself up and slipped out of her embrace. Her arms immediately mourned his absence as he looked back at her with glazed eyes. His fingers danced against her cheek as he leaned in and softly kissed her. She sighed against his lips, instantly remembering the early days of their relationship when kissing was a cherished pastime. "What's wrong?" he asked again, nuzzling her throat.
She swallowed hard, watching as he looked up and waited patiently. A half-truth – another one of her lies – came out of her. "I'm sorry for earlier."
"When earlier?"
She shrugged nervously as his fingers threaded through hers. "When Annie was at the house. For going on about Del." They had forgotten to close the curtains when they arrived. That was why a shaft of moonlight fell on the bed. That was how she could see the way his face fell and his tired eyes looked away. "It was-"
"Stop." The lone syllable echoed between them as he made eye contact with her again. Deep frown lines crisscrossed his face as he shook his head. "Just...stop."
A sick feeling coursed through her as she heard the tired strain in that one word. Her own words came back to her, the reason for the pain in his voice. A shallow spoiled brat like you couldn't begin to understand what attracted me to your father! Would there ever be a way to be forgiven? "I'm sorry," she whispered over the painful lump in her throat. "I-" He exhaled deeply and she reached out, cupping his face. "I wish it never happened."
"But, it did," he sighed. She nodded stupidly, her throat aching. "It did and...well, it did." Del was dead, but he was still a shadow over them. Haunting them. It seemed fitting that she was the keeper of the Deschanel jewels now. She was just as cursed as them. After all those years of mindless sex with other men in an attempt to return the hurt of her husband's infidelities, she now wanted nothing more than to take them all back. Of course, none of them hurt her husband quite as much as the one with Del did. (No matter what lie she spun Annie, that had been the real attraction to him.)
"Gre-" she began. Not that she was quite sure what she was going to say. What could she say? Del was a mistake. He meant nothing. All of my affairs meant nothing. You're the one I love. You're the only one I love. "I-"
"Enough," he hissed as his hand clenched down on hers. She felt his jaw tense as he looked back at her, his eyes pleading. "I won't – I can't – keep talking about this. Not this weekend. Not ever." She suddenly remembered her Shakespeare. Even as a teenager suffering through his works, she felt it sad that cursed women were always the downfall of their strong and seemingly invincible husbands. Tears burned at her eyes as she nodded. "I just want...a fresh start."
A new beginning. A clean slate. He could only say that – want that – because he thought he knew everything. He thought Del was the worst it could get. He was mercifully unaware of Cole. Of her pregnancy. That he might not be the father of her child. The sad irony was that nothing would be more of a fresh start for them than a new baby. Caitlin and Sean bonded them in a way she never thought possible. A third child would too.
If only this baby was theirs.
"I do too," she murmured as he slowly leaned back against her, his head again finding her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him, as if her embrace could somehow protect him from the truth. He married a cursed woman. She was going to be his downfall. But, maybe...just maybe a lie could save them. After all these years, what was one more? If it was a lie that would make him happy, wasn't it worth it? Wasn't it justified? They never planned on just two children. If she was going to be raising a teenager at sixty, she only wanted to do it with Gregory at her side. "Darling," she began, feeling as if she was falling down a dark hole of no return as her head spun. He was resting against her – could he feel her thundering heart? She licked her suddenly dry lips and tried again. "Darling, I- I want to tell you something."
He must have heard something in her tone because he leaned up again. His hair flopped over onto his forehead and she couldn't help but smile. The rest of the world could be intimidated by him during the day when he stormed around in expensive suits and barked orders. They didn't get to see him like this: sleepy and vulnerable. That privilege was hers and hers alone. "What?" he asked, returning her smile with a tired one of his own.
She nodded, still arguing with herself. If Gregory could will himself into forgetting about Del, couldn't she do the same with Cole? She could make herself believe it never happened. This child would be Gregory's in every way that mattered. If he never suspected otherwise, the news of this child would please him as much as the news of Caitlin and Sean's impending arrivals. It would give them the fresh start they both desperately wanted. As for Cole, she knew he wanted to forget their brief affair as much as she did. If he loved her daughter as much as he claimed, he'd let their past fade into the shadows where it belonged.
"Liv, what is it?" A nervous giggle rose in her throat as she watched him. Confusion swam in his eyes and she felt his leg slip in between hers. "Hmm?"
"This is better than Spain, isn't it?" she sighed as he shifted against her. She heard him chuckle as he lazily kissed his way along her collarbone. This lie wasn't just for him. It was for their entire family. She was going to keep them all together if it killed her. She wasn't seeing them destroyed. Not now. Not when the four of them were finally at peace. With both hands, she cupped his face and forced his gaze to her.
"That's what you wanted to tell me?" he asked. She wasn't deaf to the skepticism in his question.
"You went to the trouble of planning a romantic trip for us...and I couldn't go," she whispered.
His cheeks were warm as he shook his head and turned his face into her touch. "Don't worry about it," he said, pressing a kiss to her palm. "We'll reschedule our reservation."
It was now or never. With a quick inhale, she asked in a soft whisper, "But, what if I told you we'd need to wait awhile?"
He chuckled and leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on her mouth. "I don't think Spain's going anywhere."
"And, what if I told you we'd need to request a suite in a quiet part of the resort?"
"Whatever you want," he promised, his mouth brushing against her own.
With the taste of him on her lips, she sighed his name. He looked up, their eyes meeting as she whispered, "And, what if I told you we'd need to bring the baby with us?" She felt the length of his body tense against hers. She saw the way he blinked. She heard the breath that died in his throat.
"What?"
She followed him with her eyes as he sat up, rubbing his face awake. The sheet fell away, the silver moonlight bathing his naked body. She smiled patiently as she pushed herself up and reached for him. He clung to her hand, squeezing tightly as she let a simple lie unfold between them. She hadn't been feeling well for some time. She thought it was just a flu her body couldn't fight. The doctor explained otherwise after her blood work came back from the lab.
"But, the ulcer...your blood pressure..." he interrupted as he gently pulled her against him.
"I had to tell Caitlin something after I fainted," she lied. It would be easy enough to tell their daughter to pretend to be surprised when they announced the pregnancy. They'd let Gregory think he was the first person to know about the baby. After all, he was the first one to know when she was pregnant before. He cupped her face, watching her with a wondrous expression that made her heart skip. "I was waiting for the right time to tell you," she confessed – another half-truth – as he gazed at her, "and of course, no time seemed like the right time."
He shook his head, his thumbs rubbing against her cheekbones. "But, you're alright? The baby's alright?" She nodded, his relieved sigh a balm to her beautiful lies. "The baby," he marveled, chuckling to himself. She watched him quietly, feeling the pride and delight radiating from him. She smiled briefly when their eyes met again before forcing herself to look away. "What is it?" he asked, gently turning her face back to his.
She shrugged, needing to kill any lingering questions about why she waited so long to tell him, as she said, "I wasn't sure- that is, we always wanted a houseful of children, but..."
He sighed, a frown tempering the pride. "Things didn't exactly turn out how we planned," he finished for her and she nodded slowly. He leaned his forehead against hers, sighing deeply. "Were you afraid to tell me?"
More than he could imagine. "A little," she lied. She winced internally when she saw the flash of sadness on his face. "But, things have been well between us for the first time in such a long time that-"
He cupped her face and looked back at her with such intensity that she shivered. "I want this, Liv," he said solemnly and she couldn't help the thrilled smile that curled her mouth. As her arms went around his neck, his words wrapped around her like an embrace. "You, this new baby, Caitlin, Sean. It's all I want. All I need." She nodded as he pressed his lips to her forehead for a long moment. It was a gesture that was nearly enough to make her feel...redeemed. "How far along are you?"
She felt his hand fall to her still-flat stomach. "Almost four months," she said vaguely.
He nodded before he turned his gaze to her abdomen. She leaned against him, letting the weight of his hand suggest this lie might be the right thing. Several moments of blissful silence went by before he sighed deeply. She tensed and slowly looked up, hoping he couldn't see the fear in her eyes. "That night on the sofa," he mused finally and she bit back a relieved sigh.
She covered his hand with her own and squeezed it, catching his attention. As he looked up, she suggested, "We weren't at our best then, were we?" She leaned back into the feather pillows, letting the silence answer her question. Gently, she held out her arms, waiting until he lay back in her embrace. "But, the baby more than makes up for it. Something good came out of that awful night."
She felt him nod as his palm returned to her stomach. "Yes," he sighed, his breath warm against her flesh. She ran her fingers gently through his hair, giving in to the calm stillness of the night. It was all going to be alright. Everything was going to work out. "When we get home, we'll go see the doctor – together."
"Yes, darling."
"We have to tell the children." A moment later, she heard him chuckle.
"What's that for?" she asked softly.
"We're going to be the only parents at Sean's graduation with a graduate and an infant."
With a laugh, she squirmed lower in the bed until her face was even with his. The sight of his boyish grin was enough to convince her that this lie was right. This lie would save her marriage. This lie would save her family.
She and Gregory were having another baby.