The Reason Why OCs are Bad Part 1

Chapter 1

Hey all! Following the demand for more exhibitions of complete and utter randomness, I have decided to write this little potrayale of one of my pet-peeves. OCs. But not the OCs that are actually cool, believable, human in a sense of personality or emo ( D ). The OCs I have decided to rip the arse out of this time are the incredibly annoying, unbelievable, false, conveniently suited to pair the author's fav character, stupid ones with a potential case of terminal vanity who are either liked so much by the REAL characters that they might as well get down and hump their legs, same sex and all, or the ones that are so peevishly treated they might as well kill themselves in front of the party members to please them… ENJOY MEIN READERS.

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to any copyright protected thing mentioned here: lyrics, characters, games, etc. Well duh…

'I'M WALKING ON THE SUNSHINE!' the author attempted to sing, 'YEAH-EAH!' but then the horribly singing author stopped. For heshe (i.e. the author is always mistaken for a girl because of his pwetty hair) just realised something. He was tainted, cursed, and filthy. He was

THE OC FROM HELL

Dum dum durn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Uh –cough- ahem. Yes he realised he was that and then started to scream, scream as loud as his little girlie vocal cords would allow. Which was loud by the way. This went on for countless hours until he spotted a rubber chicken on the floor of the padded-wall cell he was in. He laughed then ate the rubber cock-a-doodle doo.

Then he was rushed far away to a land called- uh… urm… -I know this…- erm…-damn masturbation, killin' all my memory cells- right I sorta forgot, let's just call it… Poetsarejustthekidsthatdidntmakeitandneverhadachance-land. Yes… I'm emo… so fucking what? Ah, yes, and so this pubescent, angst-ridden mess landed in whatever I called the place.

Some random geeky, point-dextered, spotty, bespectled teenage girl rushed over and said in her horrible raspy voice, 'This is my original character! Hee hee! His name is HIPSHANK! He is pretty coz I said so, and all the characters in this god-for-saken simply adore him! I would sex him up If he wasn't disgusted by me…' she then laughed and shortly afterwards started to cry.

and so Hipshank walked down the mentally butt crack road of whatever the fuck this random, sad stupid little cesspool was called and met rapists, scientologists, murderers, repo guys, teachers, but worst of all, those sad weirdos who try to sell you crap over the phone along the way. But the highlight of this pointless walk, pointless as there was a completely safer route with ice creams, out door porn, emo shops, guitar shops and best of all, DANDILIONS! Ah… oh yeah! The highlight of this random fuck was the used condom he found on the way. Sweet.

Finally he saw them, the random fuckers of the game! He ran as fast as his skinny little legs could carry him, tripped, fell, cried, then got up and jumped into Lulu's ginourmous bust. 'SWEET!' he proclaimed.

'Sup,' all the party said. For some strange reason, Hipshank seemed perfectly comfortable already. For one, both he and Rikku both had sugar crashes, he and Yuna both secretly wanted to kill Tidus (well maybe not so secretly for Hipshank), both he and Auron never bothered to shave, both him and Tidus laughed too much, both him and Kimarhri had their own porn ring, both him and Wakka said stupid stuff at random intervals and both he and Lulu hated life. THEY WERE PERFECT WITH HIM!!!!

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SOOOOO, what do you think? Do review. If you don't I'll…I'll force-feed you Madonna's urine!