Just a Friend, a digimon fanfic

When I first had the idea for this fic, someone was going to go on a killing spree to "stop the pain". But then I wrote a fic for Kenzie and got all my craziness out of my system. A few days passed, and I was going though my documents, looking for the lyrics to Toxic (thinking about writing a songfic to it) and I saw the lyrics to this song and I was like "oh this would make a perfect fic!".... so I wrote the fic and it turned out much less than perfect, but read it anyways..... Eeeh.. but I don't know, no one read this for me before I posted it, so it might be kinda weird... anyways, song lyrics are centered and by Ruff Endz (i think...)....SUMMARY: Mimi, crying after a fight with Matt, is comforted by Izzy. Slightly Koumi. : )

Just a Friend
By Six....

I see the way he treats you,
I feel the tears you cried,
And it makes sad, and it makes mad,
There's nothing I can do baby.
Cause your lover is my best friend,
And I guess that's where they story ends.
So I've gotta try, to keep it inside.
You will never be, never be mine but,

The loud, crunching noises, made by a person who doesn't care what they are disturbing, passes by me. I pull my gaze up from the lake I was looking at and turn it to the source of the noise. Mimi. Her angelic face twisted in emotional pain as reddened eyes leak tears, everyone of them falling, piercing another little dagger in my heart. It pains me to see such beauty so hurt. Damnit, what did he do to you this time?

I get up from the wooden bench I'm sitting on and walk over to the shadow of the tree she is hiding under, her pink hair caressing her soft face as the wind gently blows it around.

"Mimi?" I ask, even though I know it's her. Maybe I'm asking for her permission.

She glances up at me and the look in her eyes pains me more than she will ever know. "Oh Izzy..... Why do I put up with him?" Her sobs began to rock her frail, porcelain body.

If I was the one who was loving you, baby.
The only tears you'd cry would be tears of joy.
And if I was by your side,
You'll never know one lonely night
And if it was my arms you were running to,
I'd give you love in these arms of mine.
If I was the one in your life.

"Shhh...." I murmur, attempting to comfort the angel crumpled on the grass. Sitting down next to her, I encircle her lithe, shaking body into what I hope is a comforting embrace. "It'll be ok, Mimi. It'll be ok." It has to be ok, because that is all I can do for her. For now at least.

Beautiful, watery eyes stare back up at me, "Will it really, Izzy? Will it really? I don't know why I even stay with him..... he hurts me so easily, but I..... I can't do anything about it."

I wish I could change that.

If I could have just one wish,
I'd wish that you were mine,
I would hold you near,
Kiss away those tears.
I'd be so good to you baby.
You're the one I want next to me,
But I guess that's just not meant to be.
He's there in your life,
And he's sharing your nights,
It'll never be, never be right.

"I know, I know. He shouldn't do such awful things to someone as sweet you. But it'll be ok. I'm here now. Your shoulder to cry on. I'll help you get though this. Always." And I mean that. I'll always be here for her. When he hurts her, I'll always be here. But how I wish it was different, because I love Mimi, and not the love between to friends, but the kind of love that tears you apart. I love her with all my heart. My soul. My everything. I'd give up anything for one precious look from her. She is absolutely perfect, but that jerk Matt can't see it.

"Thanks Izzy. You're such a good friend," Mimi replies through her sobs as she hugs me tighter. That was supposed to make me feel good, but it tears my heart to pieces. Small, insignificant pieces. I'm her friend. That's all I can ever be. Why did Matt have to get to her first? Where was my courage? I should have asked her out, confessed my feelings of love towards her. But I didn't. He did, and now, at least once a month, I find her crying because of him. But I always let her cry on me. It makes me feel important: I'm the one she finds comfort in. Without her, I'm worthless. So I do it all for her. I'll be her friend, and I'll be content with that, because I need her like she needs me.

What about Matt, though? He's one of my best friends. But what do you do when you love your best friend's girlfriend? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Or at least that is my way of doing it. It's not like there is much I can do. Sighing, I look back at her, and I can almost pretend that she is holding me because she loves me. Almost. Those thoughts send a twinge of guilt through me. She's in pain and I'm indulging in my fantasies. Be here for her, Izzy, be here for her, I remind myself.

I try. But it's still hard to not imagine things. She loves him, though, and I know that. I see it everytime she looks at him. Pure love and adoration. It breaks my heart everytime I see it.

Yeah, baby.
I wanna reach out and view beside me,
Right here beside me, babe.
Take you in my arms right there,
Scream 'I love you' right out loud.
Some day I pray, that I'll find the strength,
To turn to you and say,

Still. I wish she loved me. I would shout it out from roof-tops, on the inter-com at school, any where and everywhere. She would always know how much I love her, adore her, how I would do anything just to make her smile. I'd be there for her, that brick wall to hold her up. Maybe one day it will happen. Maybe one day Batman will ask me to replace the Boy Wonder. I actually want to tell her about my feelings, but everytime I look at those two together, I can't. Most of the time, she's pretty happy with Matt, but those times when she cries...... it hurts me more than it hurts her. Those are the times I feel like punching Matt and taking Mimi with me, where she'd never hurt, never cry, never have to feel like I feel when I see them.

But back to her. She's still cradled in my arms. Safe and protected, they way she should be.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask, hoping that she'll share with me, allow me to help take her pain.

"Yes. No. I don't know," her answer is baffling, "No. I don't even know why I got upset. It was nothing really. Matt's just..... Matt."

She's lying to me. She never was a very good liar. But Matt is Matt. In a few minutes, he'll find her, apologize for whatever hateful thing he did to her and then they'll go off and be that perfect couple again. Me? I'll be left back here, on the ground, still feeling her in my arms.

"Yeah...... I'm always here if you want to talk to me. You know that, right?" My voice gets hopeful. I want to know.

"I.... I know. And thank you, Izzy. Thank you so much. I really shouldn't have bothered you like this...." she said, looking down like she's ashamed.

"Never," I admit, hugging her closer, "You never bother me."

Those eyes look up at me again, bright and round, and I'm lost in an ocean of sweet honey that is so hard to pull out of. I could swim in them for days, floating on cloud nine, tasting a little bit of heaven.

"Mimi, are you ok now?"

"Yes. Thank you, again, Izzy. You really are a good friend." Tears still pour from her eyes, but I know that she's over whatever happened. She's going back to him.

I smile sadly at her as she gets up, my arms falling from her sides. I'm her friend. That's the way it has to be. She smiles at me again. But it's not all bad. Turning her back, she walks away without saying goodbye. She doesn't have to.

I'm left to contemplate my thoughts.

Maybe one day I'll tell her. Mimi, I love you. And maybe that day, she'll be able to tell me she loves me, too. I'd never let anything hurt her. I'd shelter her. Let her life be perfect. But until then...... until then, I'm her friend. And I'm here for her. No matter what that jerk that I call a best friend does to her, how many times he hurts her, I'll be here, because being in her life is the most important thing in the world to me. Even if I'm just a friend.

The sun still shines, even after she's gone, and I still sit on the grass, thinking about her.

If I was the one, if I was the one,
In your life.

Just a friend.

*roxy cringes at the look on the readers faces* Did you really hate it that much? Eek! Ok, I'll go and hide in my room, writing more of my funky poems with no point but lots of meaning.... or I would if I could find one of my black notebooks. Feel free to leave me a review....... : )