Note: I am not being malicious towards any of these characters or pairings – this is just a parody, meaning FOR FUN. Geez, no flames, okay?

Pairing for Today: Drew/Marley, BlackRoseshipping

The green-haired wonder was, of course, being fabulous one day as he caused multiple women to sway and swoon, as he was certainly a specimen worthy of swaying and swooning. The ultimate Coordinator smiled charmingly and threw roses at them, giving one of them a rash as she was allergic to roses (but she didn't care) and poking another in the eye. Women (and gay men) still swarmed, however, and so any who didn't were outcasts in society. Marley was already at that status, however, and so wasn't affected by the glares the others gave her.

Actually, it was her strangeness and "outcast-y-ness" that caused him to eventually lay eyes on her and frown. Why was she not swarming him, swaying or swooning? Did he not look beautiful today? He had to walk over there and figure out what she found wrong with him that all of the others didn't.

And so he strolled, taking a moment to give some paparazzi a smile as they took his picture, before finally reaching the table – that she had just left while he was being photographed. Cursing under his breath, he followed her to the cash register of the café and asked smoothly, with that obviously handsome voice of his, "Why aren't you getting in line to kiss my feet?"

She took one look at him and grimaced, grabbed her cup of coffee and threw it at him. As he yelped at the scalding liquid, she said simply, "You're a jackass," and walked out, leaving him to not only clean up the mess but pay as well.

"I may be a jackass," he mumbled to himself as he handed the man behind the counter the money, "but I'm a handsome one! Why doesn't she swoon and sway like the others?"

The man at the register raised an eyebrow. "Don't you mean "sway and swoon"?"

Drew scowled. "Whatever."

He found her once more as he conveniently passed the tree she was occupying in the forest (because nobody owns a house in Pokemon unless they're old!), and, being the stalker-guy that he was, climbed into it with her to sit on the branch beside her. Smirking, he asked her, "So, what do you think of me now?"

"The same." She then hopped down off of the branch, landing on her feet as gracefully as a Persian before walking off to leave him there gaping. After a moment, his mouth clicked shut audibly and he fell out of the tree clumsily (really, you'd think being a Coordinator would make him athletic or something, but noooo) while trying to follow her.

"What?" He finally caught up to her, panting slightly after climbing/falling out of a tree and running. "Why do you say that?"

She avoided the question by instead asking back, "Shouldn't you be stalking May?"

He scowled and muttered, "I don't stalk her…." He then cleared his throat and said, "But, I'm not a jackass! I may act all cold and aloof on the outside, but on the inside, I'm kind and caring and just wanting love!"

"You read that off of a magazine, didn't you?"

"Trainers' Weekly," he said matter-of-factly, a smug smirk on his face. She rolled her eyes and walked faster, to which he matched her speed and continued, "So, will you go out with me?"

"Why in the hell," she mumbled, "would I go out with you? After seeing how much of a jackass you are, being stalked by you –"

"Because I'd give you fame and fortune."

"Just give me the fortune part, and I'm sold."

He clapped his hands together and grinned. "Excellent!"

Going to the most expensive French restaurant and ordering all of the pricier foods wasn't what bothered him. Giving comments about how stupid his hair looked and how badly he probably battled didn't make him flinch.

It was the way she looked at him.

Or, rather, the way she didn't look at him.

"Why won't you look at me?" He nearly whined as he glanced around, seeing several gazes locked onto them as he whispered, "People are staring."

"So? Let them stare." Her gaze sticking to the menu, she asked, "Can I get another plate of those strange Shellder-like things?"

He sighed and waved a hand at her. "Sure, help yourself…." When she did indeed help herself to most of the "Shellder-like things" in the restaurant, they were eventually kicked out and banned to save their precious stock from her ravenous hunger. He eyed her ridiculously flat stomach and ventured, "How the hell do you pack it all in there?"

"I'm a teenage girl, sweetie," she told him sarcastically, "we're all supposed to look like this. Don't question it."

"Oh," was all he said before he began the walk to her home (that tree) in silence. When they finally reached it and she was about to climb up into its branches, he stopped her by asking, "So, do I get a goodnight kiss?"

She looked at him with a frown. "But…."

"Ah, ah," he wagged a finger at her, "it's not officially a date until I get a kiss! Remember, fortune…."

She scowled and muttered, "Fine." She then leaned up, gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and quickly went into the tree before he could try anything else. He grinned at his success, now positive that she liked him at least a little!

From her "bedroom-branch" above him, she called down, "You're still a jackass."

He slumped his shoulders and sighed. "Yeah, I know, I know…."

"So you see, Gary," the greenhead smirked at the brunette sitting across from him, "I can, indeed, get any girl I want."

The genius frowned and muttered, "I don't think bribing them with money counts…."

Drew narrowed his eyes and shouted, "Shut up! Yes it does!"

Gary rolled his eyes and muttered, "Okay, sheesh, it does. Damn, you're worse than Ash…."

The Coordinator frowned. "Don't say that. That's going too far."

"…Yeah, you're right, I take it back – you're almost as bad as Ash."

"Ehh, close enough."

Lots of dragon-y love (and cookies!),
~DL ('Dragon Lover')