PREPARE FOR BRAIN DAMAGE!
(This is Knife iRebel and Fork TheEvilBunny , teaming up to create this insanity that was spurned when I started to write five sentences and she wrote the next five, and neither of us knew what the other had in mind for the next scene. And things just got out hand, and well… just go read and find out. It gets a LITTLE strange in the end. ;p)
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"I can't believe this…" She shook her head profusely, cradling her forehead in her palm. "You… I… this is… just… I can't even find a word to describe what you just did…"
He cringed, but not noticeably for her to notice that he was slightly hurt by the comment. Alongside the fact that she just couldn't meet his eyes.
"I… I'm sorry?" He said hesitantly, uncertain if that was the right thing to say. "I mean, you know…"
For an instant her eyes widened with what seemed like anger and disbelief, but it quickly passed. Instead, she sighed, finally letting her gaze lock with his.
"Just tell me something, okay?" Her tone became softer, gentler, tentatively beckoning the truth from its confines inside him.
"Okay," he whispered, unable to say anything else while she taunted him with her mesmerizing stare. "Okay."
She breathed deeply, and wasted no time in blurting out the question plaguing her mind.
"Why?"
"I…I couldn't…I mean… I didn't think that…" he fumbled through his words, trying to find anything he could say that could make things right.
"Why?" she asked again, her voice quivered. "I always thought, no… I knew you hated him, but I…I never thought you'd do this..." The tears that didn't well up in her eyes became the sobs in her tone.
He looked into her eyes pleadingly. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find the right words to tell her.
"He…he was one of my best friends. I thought you were ours too."
He lowered his head, watching his hands shake slightly as he let the pair of scissors slip from his hand and clatter to the floor. He whimpered, and through gritted teeth, he took sharp intakes of breath.
He cracked his knuckles nervously and closed his eyes to retain calmness. "I… I am." The guilt and anguish over what he had done began to take its toll on him, and he sank to his knees in self-accusation and shame.
"I… Oh, fuck…" the sentence shook as he stared at the cruel gleam of the blades until the reflection hurt his eyes.
"Uzumaki Naruto…" Haruno Sakura's fists shook at her sides as she inhaled sharply, her prided self-control not enough to keep her eyes on the terrible person in front of her.
"I can't believe you made Sasuke…" She paused, either to find the right word so it wouldn't sound as bad as it was, or for a dramatic effect.
"BALD!!!" She screamed in agony as tears descended her cheeks, and she fell on her knees in front of the blond, whiskered boy.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" Naruto muttered repeatedly, realizing the torture he would put 99.9 of all the females in Konoha through as they laid eyes on the new-but-unimproved Sasuke.
They wept silently together, mourning the loss of such flawless, beautiful ebony locks, when they heard footsteps outside, and the door creaked open to alert them of another presence in the room.
"What's all the yelling about?" Someone blearily inquired, as if he had just been abruptly woken from sleep.
They simultaneously turned their heads to see who it was.
There he stood. Uchiha Sasuke, with the same smoldering and piercing stare in his eyes, the same perfect smirk on his lips, the same symmetrical pale face framed with the same glossy black mane they had seen the night before.
"Sasuke!?! Omigosh, Sasuke! You're alright!" The pink-haired kunoichi ran toward him and clung to his arm tightly.
"I don't believe it…I am just so relieved…" She wiped away a tiny tear and tugged on his hair to make sure it was real. Then she whirled around to face Naruto, nostrils flaring and face reddening in fury.
"NARUTO BAKA! I thought you shaved off all his hair!" She shrieked heatedly at Naruto, who had the same puzzled look he had whenever he did something stupid.
"I did! I swear!" He raised his hands defensively.
"What the hell are you two idiots talking about?" He tried to shake Sakura off his arm, but gave up when he realized it just wouldn't work, as she was glued to him like peanut butter on the roof of a mouth. He thrust his hands in his pockets nonchalantly. "And what's this about my hair?"
"Well, you see…Naruto…he said he cut off all your hair…" Sakura began her story, covering all the details just so she could have the Uchiha's attention.
Staring into the distance, Naruto tried to make out his dreadful deed. "Waitaminunte…if that wasn't Sasuke, then who...?"
His eyes widened just as he heard a loud shout from the room.
"FOOLISH LITTLE BROTHER!"
A figure appeared in the doorway, brandishing dangerous Sharingan eyes and…
HAIRLESSness
"LOOK AT WHAT YOUR FOOLISH KYUUBI CONTAINER OF A FRIEND DID TO ME!!!" Exclaimed the one and only… HAIRLESS Uchiha Itachi.
"ITACHI NII-SAN! You… prepare to… I've been waiting to… kill… You're going… down… HAIRLESS!" Sasuke's hostile stutters were the result of roaring laughter, followed by Sakura's girlish giggles and Naruto's loud guffaws.
"Naruto baka…" Sasuke tried to get up from rolling on the floor unsuccessfully. "For the first time, you… did something right… Itachi… he's… HAIRLESS!" The angst-ridden boy had to hold his aching stomach to speak comprehensively.
Naruto didn't bother to reply, and only held up a hand for a high-five, which Sasuke actually returned, and they both jubilantly cried out the official word of the day:
"HAIRLESS!"
And, all the while, the unfortunate Itachi went to a little corner and grieved over his long-gone tresses, and shortly fell down slowly and vanished invisibly into a puff of HAIRLESS smoke.
-The HAIRLESS End!-
(You were warned, weren't you? Now, please REVIEW!)